December 29th, 2008
Steven Gerrard: Arrested for Assault
Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard got himself into a spot of bother over the weekend and ended up getting arrested. Who knew he had it in him? We always saw Stevie as the easy-going, “I”m above this” type of rabble rouser. But it looks like he can throw down with the best of ‘em.
A police spokesman said: “Merseyside Police is investigating an assault that took place in the early hours of Monday December 29 on Bold Street in Southport. At around 2.30am this morning officers attended a disturbance at a licensed premises on Bold Street. Six men were arrested on suspicion of section 20 assault, on Lord Street.“
The spokesman added all six currently remained in custody.
Since we know nothing about what actually went down, we’re going to make a wild assumption and state it as fact: Steven Gerrard was out with a bunch of gobby mates who started something with the wrong waitress. Cut to massive girls against boys food fight. Restaurant manager a hardcore Everton fan. Calls police with coleslaw stinging his eyes and presses charges of assault while Gerrard gives out vicious head locks/nuggies/figure four leg locks.
Side Note: We know violence is wrong, but the idea of Stevie bitch slapping someone into submission is strangely attractive to us.