February 15th, 2010
Style Files: WAG Denim Disasters
Ah, denim. A wardrobe staple for the masses for gazillions of years.
And for good reason: Jeans are affordable (usually), comfortable (most of the time), and can be dressed up or down. Pretty simple.
But then why, (oh why) do so many WAGs commit heinous Offenses Against Denim on a regular basis?
Let us elaborate using two Manchester United gals – Hayley Grice, (Darren Fletcher’s fiancee) and Lisa Carrick arriving for the United v. Portsmouth match on the 6th*. Both chose to wear jeans that should equal a trip straight to fash-jail. Considering the hefty police presence at all footy matches, you’d think at least one constable would have stepped in and had a word about the acid wash/stone wash situ. Yeesh.
*We know that there are wee and sweet bubbas in this pic, but we are solely focused on total denim condemnation. Put your ovaries on hold.
Let’s take a look at some of our other major denim concerns to date.
Oh, how this one puzzles. We understand that the purpose of wearing trousers this long is to make your legs look longer. Lovely. But long-legged illusionists, lend us your ear: If you can hear your jeans scraping along the ground as you walk, it’s a distinct possibility that they are too long.
So hurtful: When you have a shoe collection full of Louboutins, Blahniks, and Choos, why (dear God, why?) would you make them live entombed under a wall of denim, hidden away in shadow, breathing stale, dusty ankle air? We could weep.
Alex Gerrard owns this category: She’s never met a pair of ripped jeans she didn’t like. Alex has been working the biker chic look so often that we’re pretty sure she’s got stock in leather and studs.
After several years of skinny jeans being the de rigueur denim choice for the WAG set, we welcomed the advent of the boyfriend jean with same excitement as Guti being offered a free mani with his highlights. Sadly, the girls have not found success with these either.
Repeat denim issue-haver Lisa Carrick should also be cited for this fashion felony. Her gorgeous legs are not being done any favors.
So tell us, Kickettes. Are you denim purists or denim daredevils? Who do you think is committing the worst crime here?