October 5th, 2010
Style Off: Breakfast Club Basketball Boys
Robin Van Persie, Thomas Vermaelen, Cesc Fabregas & Carlos Vela get their moody on. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Remember High School? The competitive jockeying for social position, battles won and lost on appearance and wealth rather than anything remotely intellectual?
Well, the LA Lakers basketball game against Minnesota Timberwolves in London on Sunday night brought out the usual contingent of footie boys, all hoping that some of the cool exuded from this most American of sports would rub off and increase their ‘hipness’ quotient.
As usual, this was carried out with varying degrees of success. Let’s have a look at the approaches our beloved boys have taken and rate their efforts according to our special ‘hipness’ scale, stolen directly from John Hughes iconic eighties movie, ‘The Breakfast Club’.
If you haven’t seen it, what have you been doing all your life?
Robin Van Persie, Thomas Vermaelen, Cesc Fabregas & Carlos Vela, Arsenal
At first glance (lead pic) it would appear that our Gunner boys have been watching too much ‘Grease’ after training and have attempted to channel Danny Zuko for the game. However, the leather jackets with popped collars, moody expressions and bubble blowin’ (left) all point to nothing more controversial than a post game trip to the diner and an altercation with the Scorpions, possibly over the spillage of a strawberry milkshake. (Reuters/Daylife)
Breakfast Club Character: The Brain. Sorry boys, you might be thinking John Bender (The Criminal) but you’re exuding Brian Johnson. We love you anyway.
Darren Bent, Sunderland
Darren has gone all out for the ‘jock’ approach, complete with pseudo ‘hardman’ stare and varsity jacket (left). It’s almost totally believable too, except we read your Twitter, Darren, and know it’s all a ruse. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Breakfast Club Character: Yup, we’ll give it to you anyway. The Jock. Sporty and hard hiding a soft, emotional centre.
Bobby Zamora, Fulham
Bobby Z (above) is a loner. A thinker. A guy exploring the inner workings of the human mind through sport. He has little time for meaningless, shallow clothing decisions, a simple white tee sufficient for his purposes.
Who knows the wrestling with existential concepts that may be taking place beneath that outward appearance of Zen-like calm? Then again, he may have just perfected the art of sleeping with his eyes open.
Breakfast Club Character: The Basket Case. A creative seeking understanding in dark, confusing times. Or mad, depending on your perspective.
Joleon Lescott, Manchester City
With a super rich sugar daddy in place and an allowance the size of a small country’s GDP, it’s unlikely that Joleon has any idea of the struggles his fellow spectators experience in their daily lives. Cossetted and pampered beyond all recognition, we cannot rule out the possibility that he has a tiara on beneath that hat. Or at least a diamond studded head band.
Breakfast Club Character: The Princess. Ahem.