May 14th, 2010

Style Upgrade: Claudine Keane

Help me.

Robbie Keane WAGThe second installment of the Kickette Style Upgrade involves Claudine Keane, or as she is known at Kickette HQ, Hot Mess Barbie. Claudine is the epitome of tacky WAG-wear: overly bleached blond hair, traffic-cone coloured spray tan, fingernails longer than a bird’s talons, ample decolletage and the occasional tacky wig.

Let us state for the record, though, we are quite fond of Claudine and think she’d be an absolute blast on a night out. However, she needs a sartorial intervention and she needs it now.

Mrs. K. has never met a sequin, stud, 5-inch heel, or leather jacket she didn’t like (and she wears them all at the same time). When your grocery store ensemble includes vertiginous wedges, a diamante necklace, and at least three layers on top, we take it as a cry for help. Here is how we would upgrade Claudine from casual disaster to chic, and still hot, momma.

Note: Dove Cleansing Cloths to remove several layers of makeup cake optional.

Robbie Keane's WAG needs a makeover

You like?

Shopping Guide:
1. Ralph Lauren Blue Label White Custom Blazer, $445.50
2. Pringle 1815 Graphic Short Sleeve Blouse, $272.25
3. Ray-Ban Green Lenses Classic Gold Aviators, $194.70
4. House of Harlow Plated Medallion Locket, $141.90
5. J-Brand Low Rise Skinny Jeans, $272.25
6. Bloch Brown Luxury Ballet Flat, $181.50

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17 Responses to “Style Upgrade: Claudine Keane”

  1. MissEstonia says:

    I think that outfit would just be boring on Claudine…I love the blazer, though! But it would look better with something studded or embellished underneath, not the top you’ve chosen. It looks like something out of my grandmum’s collection, no offense to whoever chose that. It just wouldn’t suit a young girl like Claudine, if you’re going to wear studded and embellished and outrageous clothes, might as well do it when you’re young. You’ve got plenty of time in the future to be a respectable, toned-down mother.

  2. klyn312 says:

    heh, heheh ,ahahaha… oh my.

  3. Merfa says:

    i can't believe she is wearing a belt like that

    seriously, has she just teleported in from the year 2003?

  4. [...] Style Upgrade: Claudine Keane « Kickette – Soccer/football gossip … [...]

  5. Ella says:

    I would LOVE to see her in the outfit Kickette has put together. Also, if we could see her natural hair color and ban her from going tanning, that would be great. She seems likable but her hilton-esque looks are off-putting.

  6. aps says:

    She looks a complete mess. Not even I would be caught in that. Get a stylist plz!

  7. C16 says:

    It’s an awful outfit but the jacket and the belt are specially killing me!!!!
    I can’t keep looking…

  8. rubyqueen says:

    claudine does seem like a really nice girl.and i know ive slated her in the past.!!!but ive changed my mind about her.the outfits awful though.!!the kickettes personally chosen one looks sooooooooo gorgeous..i adore her wedges though.!!i know its wrong…

  9. [...] Style Upgrade: Claudine Keane « Kickette – Soccer/football gossip … [...]

  10. She looks FAKE, TACKY and OLD. Too bad, she seems a nice person…

  11. Canna Fan says:


    You make me lol!!! :)

    Claudine reminds me of the LA/Beverly Hills, CA type of women … over-the-top: silicone/saline, fillers, peroxide, fake/real tans … and that's exactly what they want and like!

    • chefdi says:

      OK now , lol, not everybody in LA looks like this (me for instance, I do not look like this and I am an LA native, lol again) but, I see your point. This does hurt the eyes and OK yes we do have this look here I'm afraid but, what a relief that other places do too (lol a 3rd time). Love these comments!

  12. Missy Manchester says:

    I don't know why…but every time I see Claudine…I laugh. Not in a mean way. Just some giggles. I admire her confidence to dress like that and be completely oblivious to style. I imagine she lines herself with double-sided tape in the morning….walks into her closet and sees what sticks. Whatever sticks is what she wears for the day. That's the only logic for this…whatever "this" is. LOL

    • Bria says:

      lol i totally agree with you….it has to be the only logic right???

    • klyn312 says:

      she is indeed giggle inducing… I love that this happens to you too. I was speechless, could only muster a giggle!

  13. carly says:

    I don't know about you but she makes me feel glad that I look the way I do :)