July 19th, 2010

Summer Rankings: EPL WAGs Style Study

After the epically entertaining circus that descended on Baden-Baden for the 2006 World Cup, it would have taken a miracle from the Gods of Cristal to give us a repeat performance from the English WAGs for the 2010 event.

As we all know, the GoC were clearly cross with us for the amount of champagne spillage that occurred at Kickette HQ over the years, and as such, there was 1. Nary a table danced on; 2. No outrageous shopping sprees and; 3. South Africa did not have to start selling endangered wildlife in exchange for crates of booze.

Since we were terribly deprived of any decent WAG shenanigans at this year’s World Cup, let’s check in with what a few of the EPL WAGs have been up to this summer, shall we?

Pictured above, Alex Gerrard has returned from her hols in Portugal and Ibiza with hubby Steven, and is sporting what we must (shamefully) admit is a killer tan. She headed out to restaurant San Carlo in Liverpool for a meal with some girlfriends on Saturday night, and wore a Temperley London tunic tucked into on-trend denim shorts with a studded clutch from Topshop and a pair of KG by Kurt Geiger platform sandals. As per usual, her legs look about 10 miles long and we love the outfit. Fair play, Alex. Grade: A

Coleen Rooney and husband Wayne are in Las Vegas, staying at the ultra posh Wynn hotel. Since it’s center-of-the-sun hot in Vegas right now they’ve been spending a lot of time at the pool. Coleen looks like she’s working on reaching C-Ron levels of mahogany; Wayne continues to be practically transparent.

Coleen’s post-baby bod and cute bikini are fantastic, but we do worry her pursuit of the perfect tan will result in a hefty wrinkle-cream regimen in the future. Throw on a cute cover up, luv, it’s 800 degrees in Vegas! Grade: B+

Chantelle Tagoe continued her profile-raising activities by attending the London premiere of Toy Story 3 with her and Emile Heskey’s two sons, Jaden, and Reigan.

The boys look adorable in their matching outfits, but we don’t really know what Chantelle is playing at here. Yes, her outfit is D&G, but as we learned last week that doesn’t make it ok. Grade: C

Image via Stuart Wilson/Getty Images Europe

Christine Bleakley in doing her thing in London this week, and has produced something of a lackluster showing in the sartorial stakes. Kind of a surprise, really, as C.B is someone who is usually worthy of our style snaps.

The beige waterfall cardigan is all a bit… meh with a side of bah for our tastes, and the denim, albeit inoffensive, isn’t interesting enough to make us sit up and pay attention. While cute accessories minimize the damage somewhat, we can’t help but feel that Christine really can do better. Grade: C-

Michela Quattrociocche, (or Quatthehellishersurname as she is fondly known at Kickette HQ), girlfriend of Liverpool’s Alberto Aquilani, keeps cool in the sweltering Italian heat in a D&G Fiorucci tank top, denim cut offs and a giant pink Balenciaga handbag.

We love her relaxed style, shiny tresses and Wayfarer sunglasses. Almost there, but not quite enough to beat the reining Queen of Scouseland, Alex.  Grade: A-


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38 Responses to “Summer Rankings: EPL WAGs Style Study”

  1. Barbaravka says:

    I wanna copy Alex’ entire outfit, Loooooove it!

  2. soinlove says:

    I don't understand how Quattroetc. could get a higher grade than Christine? She dresses up like a fifteen year old!

    • Six says:

      So true, not to mention that 1985 called and wants it's acid washed shorts back.

  3. sodakiss says:

    Love love Alex Gerrand. They are such a perfect couple!

  4. Claire says:

    I don't like England WAGs at all. They are all so chavtastic.

  5. Karin C. says:

    trash all the way…

  6. MissEstonia says:

    Alex always looks so lovely, I love her outfit! It's very summery and nice, also won't squish and confine you in the hot weather, etc. The earrings are maybe too big but other than that she looks great!

    I think Chanelle deserved far worse than a C, eughhh my goodness! And Michaela looks nice, laid back, but I don't think she's anywhere close to Alex in the high-stakes fashion game. She just looks like a regular teenager/20-somtehing university student on summer break.

  7. Miss Ella says:

    Oh, Alex has so much potential but then she goes and overdoes everything. Less really is more and in this case I wish for less black eyeliner – brown or mauve would do her rather harsh face a favour – and less denim shorts to a dinner out.

    • Louise says:

      Sorry but Alex Gerarrd does not have a harsh face. Put the nails away love, cause you wish!

  8. Violets says:

    WAY too much makeup for Alex, although I love that top.

  9. Erin says:

    Alex looks amazing these days, but she is still too trendy. Time for a more classic, grown-up style. Not matronly, just not teenybopper.

  10. aps says:

    Alex and Coleen look great. Everyone else is…meh.

    • Isabella says:

      LOL, Alex and Col look like the queens of chavs and wannabees….

      Sadly I can't see a stylish or even bright looking young lady, that I would love to talk to or get to know. Hot pants at the beach, great choice!!! But going out in the evening wearing hot pants and big earrings, in my opinion tarty … As her face tells us, Alex is NOT in her end of teens or early twenties anymore!

  11. Lola says:

    I like her Alex’s top and the shoes are amazing. I want them, does anyone know where to get them?

    I have to admit looking through my closet, I seem to take a lot of inspiration from Alex. At the same time I would never completely copy her style. It’s crazy, she overdoes it 99% of the time, but it’s still strangely apppealing. I think it’s because underneath all the make up, tan and the big hair, her style is very friendly and feminine. For this outfit I’d take off the earrings and the many gold bracelets and wear a denim skirt instead of shorts.

    • Steph says:

      Well, here's the link to the Temperley top that Kickette posted: http://www.temperleylondon.com/shop/tops#Giovanna… And I want to know about the shoes, too. I really like them!

      • Lola says:

        Yes, I want to know about the shoes. She wears knock-offs sometimes, I think the other weeks she wrote that he cloggs were from River Island? Hopefully she'll talk about these shoes in her column tomorrow. Otherwise, get on it Kickette!!

    • Kickette staff says:

      Check above. Looks like they’re sold out everywhere though. Soz gals!

      • Steph says:

        Thanks. :) I JUST noticed that link. I feel stupid. lol. They are? Oh, no! :( That sucks! Yeah, so far, no place online has them in stock. Boo.

  12. Eli aka NC says:

    Alex looking good!!! VB should learn a bit, a little meat on yer bones does no harm darling!

  13. rubyqueen says:

    alex looks soooooooooo good and really summery.i WANT THEM SHORTS AND SHOES.:)

  14. EternalDreamer says:

    Alex looks nicely tan and has great legs. However, her mom-jean short-shorts are really distracting. Coleen looks great, especially considering post-baby.

  15. D0li says:

    So I finally decided to search Alex Gerrard's name because kickette keeps writing about her and I have no idea who she is… apparantly she, like Rooney write columns and are the ultra WAGS of the premier league..

  16. Lisa says:

    Alex and Colleen look great but their tans are getting ridiculous.

    Whenever I see white people risking getting skin cancer, I thank god that I was born with dark skin.

    Please people, don’t risk years of chemotherapy in order to achieve a few days with one shade of skin tone.

    I think sunless tanning is even more ridiculous but it is a safe alternative… Hey, Alex did one thing right!

  17. tammyv says:

    I cannot be ok with demin cut-offs as an acceptable part of any dinner outfit not in ones own or the neighbors’ backyard. If you are going with shorts for dinner at least make them in an acceptable fabric.

    I cannot give her anything higher than a D for that. I love the rest of the outfit though

  18. mia says:

    alex is beautiful she and steven are beautiful ……. the couple perfet

  19. Sorry, I don’t care what the trends are, no lady wears denim short shorts out to dinner.

  20. Steph says:

    Besides the fact that Alex looks TOO tan, love her outfit. :) Michela’s, too. Both are definitely something I’d wear, if I had the money to spend on those labels, of course. lol. I SO want Michela’s Balenciaga bag! Love it.

  21. Lucy says:

    Alex looks so trashy, she has no class at all

    • Susie says:

      In this pic, Id have to agree with you.

      The denim cut-offs and heels are a little too retro hardrock chic for me. Very cheesy.

  22. Alex's workouts are truly paying off.

  23. Gina says:

    I love Alex's heelsssssss does anyone know where they're from??

  24. liv says:

    How hot Alex look, if she's not wearing those damm shoulder pad jacket! Bravo Alex Bravo!

  25. MissB says:

    Those legs are hot!

  26. C16 says:

    Alex needs to lose those giant earrings and for some reasong I always think her face looks like it's melting. But I do like her outfit, especially the shoes, I want!

  27. Iv says:

    Don't usually like Alex, but she looks damn good here. Coleen body – well done girl. But Micheala is the prettiest of the bunch