April 23rd, 2010
The F5 Vote: Fernando Torres v. Cristiano Ronaldo
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 385
Warning: Division by zero in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 512
Some may consider this dual the “grandaddy of them all”. We call this “last call for alcohol”.
There’s only five spots and one of them simply can’t make the cut. By now you know the rules, so click through to hear our thoughts and then be sure to leave us your own.
FERNANDO TORRES, LIVERPOOL
For three long, strenuous years, Torres has protested his F5 placement via (some damn fine) pouts.
We get that 98% of readers would argue Fernando’s 3-year wait for F5 recognition is punishment enough.
But although he may be made of angel, his coiff has always been, and still is, made of dealbreaking bleached straw. At one point this year, even high-ranking officials of the “Torres for F5 Brigade” found themselves frantically searching for photographic evidence to disprove the Guti-morphing theory.
However. There has never been another man who has made our ovaries self-detonate like Fer has. His ability to bitch-face is rivaled only by David Villa and (possibly Zahara). The freckles. (Oh, the freckles!) He may be the perennial shy guy, but he’s got a wicked sense of humour. He looks sexy when wet. He says lovely things about the city he lives in.
Really: How on earth can there be a list of the top hottest footballers without Fernando Torres?
CRISTIANO RONALDO, REAL MADRID
Initially, we weren’t sure if we were ready to put C-Ron back on the F5 list. The after-effects of whatsherface were powerful and deadly. He has many fashion-challenged moments that burn with the fire of a thousand suns.
No, we may not always (ever) approve of his single-man choices, but we know this: we would happily, and quite shamelessly join that queue. It’s Cristiano Ronaldo. Take a number, pop a mint, and do some stretching exercises while you wait.
Cristiano’s on-pitch talent is very well-recognized. So are his abs. And we could ID that lickable hip dip from a lineup. Like his above competitor, C-Ron has had some hair issues. And he also can be cute on camera. He also holds the accolade of looking the best anyone on this planet can possibly look when wet.
Which begs the question: what kind of shite list would this be without Ronaldo?
Over to you, Kickettes!
Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th. Inappropriate comments will be deleted.
COMMENTS & VOTING ARE NOW CLOSED