April 20th, 2010
The F5 Vote: Nemanja Vidic v. Tim Cahill
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Image via Sky Sports
No time for pretty boys with better beauty regimens than we have today, Kickettes. We’re bringing you the hard men. And by “hard” we mean, of course, hard of body. And possibly of skull.
NEMANJA VIDIC, MANCHESTER UNITED
First up: Serbian Mountain Man, Nemanja Vidic. One look at his thighs of steel, hard-as crooked nose, and clear-as-a-cool-spring blue eyes and we’re smitten. Not only can Vida defend like a mofo, he also produces the cutest children known to man (we have yet to see pics of baby Stefan, but let’s just go with the odds here). Bonus: he’ll carry your bags while you buy the entire women’s floor at Selfridges! Good robot.
Vida is not a man who is afraid to get down and dirty, as he once held the distinction of being the most booked defender in the Premier League. He’s not afraid to sacrifice his hot body for club or country and he can also wear a suit like a second skin.
The only drawback we see here is that Vida and shirt removal don’t seem to go hand in hand, as shirtless pics of 2008/2009 Manchester United Player of The Year are hard to come by. This can easily be remedied at the Kickette Institute of Hot Robot Baller Production and Maintenance once the PL season has ended and Vida comes in for his usual tune-up. In the meantime, we offer you the photo at left. Click to get full size. No explanation needed.
TIM CAHILL, EVERTON
Oh, hello Everton midfielder, Socceroo and owner of a criminally hot, tatt-covered body, Tim Cahill.
Timmy, (or as he is known around Kickette HQ…The Thunder In Our Down Under), has the distinction of being the highly-regarded Kickette Tuesday Torso not once, not twice, not even thrice, but FOUR TIMES. Since it’s highly likely that Cahill was the Adonis hip dip prototype, he enjoys showing the world how good the gods were to him. More often than not, he removes his shirt and we like to see the result of this.
Like his direct competition, Cahill has the ability to produce adorable children and can wear a suit like no one’s business. He is also able to pick up your brekkie in the morning and we bet he’s able to cook it for you, too.
A man who is not afraid of a bromance is one we can get on board with. Plus, he’s served as acting Everton captain this season which ticks our ’man with power’ box. We don’t really see any drawbacks to voting for Mr. Cahill here. He removes his shirt after 90% of all league games. What more do we need?
A quick reminder: Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th.
Also: Inappropriate comments will be deleted.
COMMENTS & VOTING ARE NOW CLOSED