April 20th, 2010

The F5 Vote: Nemanja Vidic v. Tim Cahill

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Image via Sky Sports

No time for pretty boys with better beauty regimens than we have today, Kickettes. We’re bringing you the hard men. And by “hard” we mean, of course, hard of body. And possibly of skull.


First up: Serbian Mountain Man, Nemanja Vidic. One look at his thighs of steel, hard-as crooked nose, and clear-as-a-cool-spring blue eyes and we’re smitten. Not only can Vida defend like a mofo, he also produces the cutest children known to man (we have yet to see pics of baby Stefan, but let’s just go with the odds here). Bonus: he’ll carry your bags while you buy the entire women’s floor at Selfridges! Good robot.

Vida is not a man who is afraid to get down and dirty, as he once held the distinction of being the most booked defender in the Premier League. He’s not afraid to sacrifice his hot body for club or country and he can also wear a suit like a second skin.

The only drawback we see here is that Vida and shirt removal don’t seem to go hand in hand, as shirtless pics of  2008/2009 Manchester United Player of The Year are hard to come by. This can easily be remedied at the Kickette Institute of Hot Robot Baller Production and Maintenance once the PL season has ended and Vida comes in for his usual tune-up. In the meantime, we offer you the photo at left. Click to get full size. No explanation needed.


Oh, hello Everton midfielder, Socceroo and owner of a criminally hot, tatt-covered body, Tim Cahill.

Timmy, (or as he is known around Kickette HQ…The Thunder In Our Down Under), has the distinction of being the highly-regarded Kickette Tuesday Torso not once, not twice, not even thrice, but FOUR TIMES. Since it’s highly likely that Cahill was the Adonis hip dip prototype, he enjoys showing the world how good the gods were to him. More often than not, he removes his shirt and we like to see the result of this.

Like his direct competition, Cahill has the ability to produce adorable children and can wear a suit like no one’s business. He is also able to pick up your brekkie in the morning and we bet he’s able to cook it for you, too.

A man who is not afraid of a bromance is one we can get on board with. Plus, he’s served as acting Everton captain this season which ticks our ’man with power’ box.  We don’t really see any drawbacks to voting for Mr. Cahill here. He removes his shirt after 90% of all league games. What more do we need?
A quick reminder: Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th.

Also: Inappropriate comments will be deleted.


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101 Responses to “The F5 Vote: Nemanja Vidic v. Tim Cahill”

  1. Jessi says:

    hottest. robot. EVER!

  2. YoungChelsea4Life says:

    Cahill is pocket sized hotness on ice, baby!

  3. christine says:

    Vida has the most amazing eyes and Tim has an awesome body….. hard to choose really but I’m going with the sexy, sexy Tim Cahill. Seksy as ……………

  4. Winnie says:


  5. C16 says:

    Nemanja ;)

  6. Emily (Giggsy's says:

    Though I do enjoy Tim Cahill, my vote obviously goes to Sexy-Bot, Vida. His lips are mesmerising when he gives interviews, and he's one of the very few men who look equally sexy when bleeding profusely and when out and about with his gorgeous family. Nemanja Vidic for the win!

  7. klyn312 says:

    OMG I thought I had missed this poll… VIDA por vida!

    I do so adore my eastern European men lately… strange, it's like when your put off by a certain food all your life and then, POW, one day you can't get enough.

  8. footiechik says:

    I dont think either of them are F5 hot, but I have 2 go with Cahill. He is waaaaaay more edible. Hope to see Boriello, fighting 4 a place tomorrow.

  9. ilovenemanjavidic says:

    without a shadow of the doubt it has to be NEMANJA VIDIC!

    come on! his rock hard defending, his unbelievably cute 'i'm a big cuddly bear really'-ness off the pitch, his inability to say near enough anything without a distinct sound of a "H" at the beginning and just all around amazingness does, and always will, win him my vote :) <3

  10. aristeia says:

    Oh yes Tim. Definitely Tim.

  11. Molly says:

    Out of loyality to my club I voted for Vidic :) .

  12. cymraeg_ddraig says:

    Tim Cahill. End of. Not afraid to get his shirt off. No contest!

  13. Emily says:

    Personally, I can’t see either of these two taking spots from the people already there…

  14. Kelly_Cahill says:

    Im gonna stick with the 'Hubby' tim all the way! No competition! Vidic? his face looks too squashed for me *sorry*

    Tim has an accent that will make you melt, his Body…well the four times tuesday torso says it all, tattoo = mmmmm!!! all round perfection :D

    Team Cahill ♥♥

  15. laineybogs says:

    See what they do to me, can even spell Utd properly lol :)

  16. laineybogs says:

    Never thought I'd have to choose between the 2…ugh. Hands down the best looking specimens in the PL. But as a life long Man Uts fan its has to be Vidic………No Cahill……No Vidic …..AAAAAHHHH Not fair :(

  17. Please Kickettes, find a place for Nando. He's been off this list for way too long. :)

  18. Trisha (Mrs Iker Cas says:

    Id go for Iker or David Villa….. They are the only ones that really stimulate my heart, mind and loins…. however in this case i would say Tim.

    Vidic is only showing us is bulge but Tim is willing to take everything off for us!!! Shirt and shorts…. lol

  19. NinyaC says:


  20. imhereforthenando says:

    My ovaries just exploded when I watched the video of Cahill’s son falling off of a chair. While I will never be able to have children, it was definitely worth it.

  21. Vera says:

    Vidic, hands down!

  22. Lex says:

    Cahill. For sure.

  23. Inés says:

    Defo Vida!

  24. Erin says:

    He may be a toffee, but Cahill is still a hottie!

  25. Anna says:


  26. Berbie's Barbie says:

    I'll go for the sexy robot from Serbia! Viva La Vidic!

  27. Jo says:

    Is Tim a hard man? Fit, yes, but not a hard man in footballing terms. Hmmm.

  28. MrsNesta says:

    I’m going with Cahill, I just love his tattoo and like it that he takes his shirt off to show me :)

  29. Starsarella says:

    VIDIC BABY!! my sexy bitch

  30. ammo says:

    That one was easy it’s Vidic for me, can someone tell me what all the fuss is about cesc please. thanks.

  31. aps says:

    Definitely Timmy for me.

  32. No competition. Vida-bot. Oh, yes please!

  33. Megan says:

    Tim Cahill… Anybody over Vidic

  34. sharan says:

    on paper i'd go for vidic. however, those pictures of tim cahill are very enticing!!!!

  35. goalkeeperette says:

    I hate ManU but love me some steel blue eyed Vida! Who the french is Tim Cahill? :P

  36. natasha says:

    definitely vidic

  37. beri says:

    VIDIC! Those baby blues get me everytime…yum yum yum!

  38. Helena says:

    firstly, how can you put yoann vs niko in the first poll, then these two people head to head when neither of them should be in the f5!?

    & my votes on nemanja, although tims body is fit his face is a bit errrr.
    & i love vidics eyesss :A

  39. Lolinha says:

    Please don’t put Iker against Cristiano…

    • Thea says:

      Cahil – All the way!

      Go on Kickette – put Iker against CR9 or even NANDO!

      Yes i know I'm evil!

  40. melissa says:

    cahill… def not thought involved in this one.

  41. Jemima says:

    Please please please please please DON’T put Cesc against Nando or I will actually cry!

    & I went for Cahill :)

    • sounderslove says:

      ikr it would kill me. like, i know who i would vote for. but it would kill me.

  42. Louise says:

    What’s a Liverpool supporter to do with these two…

  43. Tula says:

    Cant wait to see what tomorrow's pairing will be ;)

    Marco Borriello better make an appearance, in the name of all that's holy…

    • Liz says:

      AMEN to that! And I hope Miguel Torres stays up there too.

      As an Aussie (who doesn't go for the NT though oh well), I will choose Timmy Cahill. He is seen as the only good player for the Socceroos (Aussies are full of dumb hope for the World Cup, I was a realist, up until I was 18, the Socceroos did stuff all, so for my entire life, I have supported Italy and England due to my background). But I choose Timmy because he is an awesome player, a nice guy and I love the Samoan tattoo.

  44. bam says:

    No idea why but Cahill has never done anything whatsoever for me. Nemanja all the way!

    • Ish678 says:

      I was hoping Vidic would get included in one of these – and I'm glad he's against someone who does nothing for me at all! Perfect :p

  45. Nate says:

    Not loving the pairing! I can't be a traitor to Vidic yet Cahill has made me drool several times with his lush shirt stripping!

    Out of Loyalty I vote Vidic!!

  46. Tula says:

    Tim's tattoo is LOVE butttt Vidic, being one of my boys, just edges it. Beast of a man :L

  47. ne-mania says:

    aah, no question ;) vida is perfection!! he is THE man :)

    and he definitly has to be in the F5, for sure! although I can understand how hard it is to decide between niko and yoann..

  48. Trista Jade says:

    While the Aussie is quite the hottie….there is just something about Vida. That hard stare and that hard body and just…ugh. He's fabulous, I love him, and he will always get my vote. ;)

  49. balicious8 says:

    i would vote for Vidic but so when i knew better of Tim Cahill….i check this out and i came to the conclusion that Tim is definitely finest that Vida. Better loking, better body, i didn't consider other credits because i don't know much them

  50. Diva Dalliaa says:

    VIDIC!!!!!!! thunder thighs and those eyes of his, and the crooked nose…swoooooon…plus you just know, with him around crowds part like Moses did to the Red Sea….

  51. jens says:

    oh Vidic! there is no competition here!

    but that tatoo is hot…

  52. juventina says:

    Vidic :)

  53. Jo says:

    Rats! I can't access my image gallery at work. I'll have to post links of shirtless and pantless(!) Vida when I get home.

    Tim is yummy but I prefer the granite-hewn type. Plus, his ability to produce adorable offspring is undeniable.

  54. GeordieGirl says:

    Mmmm..Tim Cahill for me..He's hot, Aussie and has the hottest tatoo EVER… :D

  55. AussieLover says:

    Gotta be the Aussie Hottie ;) Timmy Cahill all the way!

  56. pandora says:

    Vidic :) one of the reason I love Manchester United :)

  57. Khryse says:

    Vida!!!!! No doubt about it. I mean, just look at him.

  58. cj says:

    this really isnt fair…u can't choose between two strong and then two weak…as hot as vidic is, he doesn't compare to yoann or niko :( I think if the votes for the latter two are higher than that of the former, then go with them!!!!

  59. Cindy says:

    Vida! love me some hot robot!

  60. Oh, jaysus. Two of my faves head to head. But I have to go with the hot Serb. His smile and accent are killer. Exhibit A.


  61. ElNino9 says:

    Tim Cahill all the way!

  62. FTC says:

    Without a doubt, Vidic.

    Cahill is hot, but nothing next to the Volcanic heat of Vida.

    • bubbly_cheryl says:

      beautifully worded there ftc, next to rio, him and vida are the most feared (and sexiest) pair in the EPL (at the back of course)- p.s. if its not obvious- i’m all for vida

  63. Rosey says:

    I voted Cahill but both are kinda equal for me.

  64. Missy Manchester says:

    Kickette!! I "clicked to get full size" …but….I didn't get full size! I just got a photo that was a little larger than the thumbnail. LOLOL

    Of course…"Mr. Vidic" gets my F5 vote. (When you're that big…they call you mister.) heh

  65. suzie says:

    Not loving the pair ups Kickette. I'm a not lover of either of these 2 but I have to vote for 1 of them. I'd rather have Yoann and Niko in the F5, but I had to leave one out for one of these 2???? (sorry to those that love them but they just don't do anything for me)

  66. Jessica says:

    Hmmm, neither of them do much for me… I think i'll read the comments and go with the most convincing gal! x

  67. KW says:

    "The Thunder In Our Down Under", lol! :D

    Anyway, Vida for me!

  68. gina says:

    Cahill. No contest.

  69. ToffeeGirl16 says:

    Cahill, no doubt. Nobody better than Cahill!

  70. sounderslove says:

    a thought just occurred to me. if you put cesc against fernando for this there will be blood. or a chocolate embargo.

  71. moomin1314 says:

    Tim Cahill. no contest here, much easier than yesterdays!

  72. carly says:

    Wow, I'm surprised at this pairing. I think I need to give it some careful thought. *raises eyebrow*

  73. senora ramos says:

    can i vote for yoann again. sigh. neither one of these does much for me i'm afraid. i guess i'll go vidic

  74. tammyv says:


  75. sounderslove says:

    vermaelen >>>>>>>>>> vidic.

    cahill. one of the only tattoos i have ever found hot.