April 22nd, 2010
The F5 Vote: The Arsenal Triple Challenge
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NICKLAS BENDTNER, ARSENAL
The case for: Our favourite Dane! He’s long, lean, and (as we’ve mentioned numerous times perv-iously), likes to give his scanties and thighs fresh air whilst in public places. Speaking of thighs, we imagine his are kitten soft and extremely welcoming. Our Elite Eleven party boy’s body ain’t bad either. We thoroughly appreciate a a footballer that knows he’s wanted (see the ‘come and get me girls’ stance, right), parties inappropriately, and has dimples. Come to mama.
Need more? He’s a tall (6’5!) drink of water champers. He doesn’t date-discriminate in the age-stakes, is down with the kids (and co-ordinating sunnies), and looks like he’d be a damn good laugh on a night out.
The case against: He’s a shite driver. His youthful insouciance can be seen as deal-breaking arrogance. Of course, we see Nicky B as a work-in-progress. He might burp the alphabet but he’s worth it for the late-night party tricks.
THOMAS VERMAELEN, ARSENAL
The case for: He’s the Premier League’s very own Belgian hottie and we want to claim him. Thomas’s pale skin and chiseled jawline make him Arsenal’s answer to fellow nominee Nemanja Vidic, only with less broken noses or robot wires. He’s the ultimate poster boy for 50 SPF sunscreen - indeed, before Verma, the term “coffin hot” simply didn’t exist. Props for that are definitely deserved.
His impressively built thighs help to keep him at a 100% approval ratio round these parts and when he smiles, he goes from sculpted bruiser to sweetheart. What gal doesn’t love it when a tough guy turns pussycat?
The case against: Stripping off post-match doesn’t happen much in Verma’s world. Also, the Prince of Darkness comparisons can be a downer. We recommend embracing the paleness and potential love bites. (Vamps are popular right now, after all).
CESC FABREGAS, ARSENAL
The case for: The Arsenal captain’s name rhymes with Sex. Win. But we’ve started, so we’ll go on. His transformation from boy into fully-formed grownup has been a delight to watch, and his willingness to Continuously. Get. The Abs. Out does a lot for his appeal.
Cesc’s been through a lot this season, with knee injuries, leg injuries, and serial disappointment – perhaps the F5 could bring a smile back to his nummy face. Although he’s growing up (sniff), we sincerely hope the sexy and adorkable Mr. F will never be too mature for “doughnut discotheques”, Gossip Girl and Desperate Housewives.
Over to you! Remember (please) this is all just a bit of fun. Taking it seriously can cause premature wrinkles and no one wants that.
Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th. Inappropriate comments will be deleted.
COMMENTS & VOTING ARE NOW CLOSED