April 21st, 2010

The F5 Vote: Xabi Alonso v. Marco Borriello

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So we’re devious. Dastardly, even. You can hate us if you want. But this is the F5. It’s important.

As we all hit the midweek hump, we’re forcing our opinionated readers to stare into the windows of their deepest fangirl souls. We’re not going to let anyone get comfortable, making leisurely – but largely safe – choices based on torsos, thighs or coiff.

Rather, today is about opposites: Vanilla versus Chocolate. Chequered Wallet versus Chequered Past. Protection versus Pregnancy.

And we need to know: what kind of woman are you?

Please bear in mind that your preference here is indicative of your personality type. We must warn you that your choice could affect future career prospects and your ability to obtain credit.

Welcome to the F5 – Good v. Evil edition. Ay Dios Mio.

One of the most fashionable footballers in the world is such a nice guy it nearly hurts. Not only has he had the honour of donning the cover of Esquire, but he makes one sinfully delish marketing ploy.

Even though he’s a shy guy, he’s made of a mean chest rug and washboard stomach.

You need more?
He’s an ovary explosion aficionado.  Proved capable of pulling off the unofficial uniform of the Spanish NT  which is something of a curveball for others. And he can play a bit, as well.

Only downsides?
He broke hearts with his Liverpool to Madrid club transfer. His kid is known to throw a public temper tantrum every now and then. We can live with it.


The type of guy who turns up late and offers up nothing but a big, fat FAIL, Marco Borriello ain’t got no shame in his game. His body is one of the best; so wickedly good, in fact, that he doesn’t wear suits. Suits wear him.

You need more?
Beckham likes his butt. He enjoys sex. And he showers in plain view of cameras. Despite the fact that we know that any date with this dude would invariably end in tears and a visit to a clinic, we still want him. In the worst possible way.

Only downsides?
The semi-smutty, semi-we-wanna-see-where-it-ends hip tattoo. If Xabi is safe for school, Marco’s penchant for public sex is most definitely not safe for work (which, if we’re already headed to Hades, then we can admit was quite h-o-t).

Apparently, we all have the morals of an alley cat.



A quick reminder: Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th.

Also: Inappropriate comments will be deleted.


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196 Responses to “The F5 Vote: Xabi Alonso v. Marco Borriello”

  1. LadyInRed says:

    Xabi. <3

  2. footiechik says:

    This is evil!!! Can one ever choose between such high levels of hotness??

  3. suzie says:

    classy v skanky? has to be classy.

  4. caitanya says:

    There is no contest: Xavi Alonso all the way.

    He has a great F- you attitude on the pitch yet maintains cool and composure all the while. I love him! Plus, he’s spanish (lub dub)

  5. imhereforthenando says:

    Xabi Alonso completely broke my heart. There were months when I couldn't look at a picture of him without almost crying in a lame, embarrassing way.

    I love you Xabi. I only want the best things for you.

    You get my vote.

  6. BarcelonaFan says:

    Has it crossed anyone’s mind here that Xabi is not that squeaky clean??? Me thinks Xabi can do the nasty. So I’m goin’ for Xabi. He’s got juuuuuust the right mix. hahahaha. ^^

  7. cymraeg_ddraig says:

    Even though a night with March would undoubtedly be pretty good, I think I'm going to plump for Xabi. What can I say, I like nice boys :)

  8. S Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro says:

    Xabi, Xabi, Xabi…EVERTIME – ALL the time ;)

  9. waw says:


  10. waw says:


  11. sounderslove says:

    i just realised there is now no possiblity of cesc, fernando, and iker all making this list. and that if they are nominated two of them will be against each other. noooooooooooo.

    • senora ramos says:

      mrsnesta made me sad when she made me realise that they have all been from different countries and xabi is the sole spainard so far. i mean they can't not have more spainards, right? RIGHT?! (a bit hysterical right now)

      • sounderslove says:

        sh….it’s ok. Xabi is by no means the hottest of the Spaniards, they’re probably just saving the best for last. (and if this does not include Cesc I will legitimately cry). I mean, who could possibly top them? Right? *okay now i’m getting hysterical as well*

        • Thea says:

          Ladies – you have far too much time on your hands!

          • sounderslove says:

            stop judging us! :P just because i'm a total insomniac and this is more entertaining than failing at sleeping…

          • senora ramos says:

            well, it's 11:15 am here. and my job sucks, so, there's that. and i mean, it's hot ballers. everyone has time for that. lol

            • sounderslove says:

              11:15 am? lucky you….

              and yes hot footballers >>>> pretty much everything else that would take up my time. except sleep. okay, not even that.

  12. Belle says:

    This is possibly the most evil thing you have done, Kickette.

    But, XABI all the way!

  13. Thaila says:

    Marcooooo :D

  14. sounderslove says:

    Neither of them does much for me, to be honest. I mean, I love Xabi, but not like that. We're just friends :P

    So….convince me, someone. My vote is up for grabs.

    • Kate says:

      marco is just another typical boring "hot" guy.

      xabi is absoultely gorgeous ;)

      • Ella says:

        arhhh, you make a good point. I keep changing my mind, I voted marco… but as beautiful as he is, xabi is loooovely.

    • senora ramos says:

      molly, mrsnesta, and juventina have some convincing arguements for marco, i’ve seen no one trying for xabi

    • juventina says:

      trust me, us Marco girls have been soldiering for him down here. Scroll down a little further and theres lots of photographic/video evidence! :)

    • sounderslove says:

      *shrugs* Marco it is, just for something new. Kickette, you had better put my love Cescito in the next set of nominations. AND NOT AGAINST FERNANDO DAMMIT.

  15. GG says:

    Marco…. oh Marco the things I would do to him!!!

  16. Redgirl says:

    So Marco might give you something that isn’t gift-wrapped or sparkly? Ugh. Xabi is so cool, even though he broke my poor red heart. Xabi.

  17. christine says:

    Marco Borriello is yum, yum, yum and a bowl of whatever’s going with it.

  18. Daniela says:

    Xabi Xabi Xabi!!!!

  19. IHaveADream says:

    That Marco guy seems kind of evil…I like bad, but not evil. Xabi has something special. So Xabi :)

  20. Sarah says:

    Marcoooooooooooo <333

  21. Ella says:

    I believe my exact response to the shirtless!Marco was “mnnugh” so there’s really no option.

  22. ElNino9 says:

    I don’t get the whole obsession with Borriello, although he’s not a bad looking guy…so Xabi all the way!
    Even with that ginger beard…
    Kickette – I do hope Nando is gonna turn up on this list soon! And not against someone like Gerrard/Fabregas/Villa please?
    Thanks :)

  23. Cindy says:

    Xabi, hands down!

  24. Amy says:

    haha, clever! my vote is for the squeaky clean xabi.

  25. Beth says:

    Um…tough one…NOT! Xabi any time, even though he left my team and they are rubbish without him, it will always be him <3

  26. Winnie says:

    i voted for Xabi, just to stay loyal to Madrid

    but damn…Marco……………..


  27. NinyaC says:

    That's the perfect picture – angel and devil haha! This is so hard for me but I'd go with Xabi!

  28. Ish678 says:

    No contest, Xabi every time :p

  29. ItaliaLoveJuve says:

    Marco Marco Marco x infinity! You can’t be infinity! See, he should win! Such a rediculously gorgeous man! I should make Vote for Marco tshirts! HMM

  30. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Marco, ovviamente. Belen and the STDs are in the past and DAMN he’s hot. And Italian. So really, no question. I’ve seen where that tattoo ends. Unf. Xabi doesn’t stand a chance.

    At this point Xabi reminds me of the cute librarian that lives next door… he no longer inspires any sort of attraction. I’d wave if I saw him on the street and probably smile because his kids is so adorable, but Marco. Oh Marco.

    • juventina says:

      You’ve seen where the tattoo ends?! LOL Lucky you ;) Yes! Belen and STD are all in the past!! He’s a changed man now!

    • Mel says:

      How does one end up in a situation, where one sees the full Borriello hip tattoo? I wanna know!

  31. Gigi says:

    oh god how can i choose?I mean I love Xabi he's smoldering but Marco is so…bad and evil it's quite the turn on.as one commenter said 'if Marco is the devil how do I get to hell?' I tink i'll go with……Xabi.Marco may jus be a lil to dirty for me

  32. ammo says:

    Xavi Is definately spains best export :)

  33. NandosGirl says:

    Xabi. He broke my heart, but he’s Xabi. Plus, I just never really saw the Borriello attraction. Sorry ladies.

  34. Lugia says:

    Marco Borriello is not my best football player, but I was told to vote Marco, so I an :)

  35. mimi says:

    Xabi… the ovary exploding angel!

  36. Mel says:

    I see the choice being between Xabi and living happily ever after, or a moment of fun with Borriello.

    I have to go with the moment of fun. Marco is soooooooooooooooo hot. Mmmmm. I he insisted on driving me somewhere in his audi, I would jump right in.

    I wub him!

  37. melissa says:

    XABI!!!!!! not even a contest in my eye.

  38. Kate says:

    Any man who can make a ginger beard look that good deserves more than a vote.

  39. Liz says:

    This is not even a hard choice for me…

    IT'S MARCO MARCO MARCO (I wish I was yelling that out with him on a regular basis) all the way (seriously Marco, let's go all the way!!).

    He is the bad boy a lot of girls would drop their good guy for.

    Damnnnnnnnnnnn what I would give for one night with him!

    • juventina says:

      "I wish I was yelling that out with him on a regular basis" OMG GIRL FOR REAL! What I would give to wake up next to that!!!!

  40. lesgirondins says:

    Xabi's a million times hotter. But Marco's the kind of man you can imagine chaining you to his bedposts and throwing away the keys.

    Obviously Marco then.

  41. Ella says:


  42. Azezah says:

    xabi all the way! xabi xabi!

  43. Alessandra says:

    i'm tired of being good, so imma go with MARCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.:D

  44. juventina says:

    For the record, Marco isn’t all about getting naked and doing dirty things in the water. He has broken up with that Belen because she cheated on him. He is very close with his brother and his mom. In fact, he threw a birthday party for his mom’s 60th birthday in Milan where he found out he was going to be an uncle next fall.

    He also happens to look quite good fully clothed:

    AND! He wears glasses!

  45. Venice says:

    It’s not that Marco isn’t hot hot hot, but I’ll take Xabi all day every day, breakfast lunch and dinner.

  46. Ella says:

    The only person I’m willing to risk a hypothetical STD for is Cristiano. Hence, my vote goes to Xabi….on the grounds that he shaves regularly!

  47. julia says:

    mmmmm marco ;) easy choice! LOVE the bad boys

  48. Eva says:

    Marco. His beautiful face is my desktop. :)

  49. bam says:

    Easiest decision ever! Borriello!! Xabi is nice & all but *yawn*

  50. klyn312 says:

    you have forced my hand… Xabi, if I must!

    this one is a lesser of two yukkers to me… LOL.. I am SO gonna get roasted for this comment.

  51. Louise says:

    I am a good, good girl. Come give me my award, Xabi.

  52. rami says:

    XABI! i’d be happy spooning with him… just as long as he talks to me all night with his cute spanish lisp!

  53. Beth says:

    why do people hate the beard?
    i think it’s ok … :(

  54. shay says:

    The picture of Marco in the water with that, uh, girl was enough to make me choose Xabi. Eww. Plus the ginger beard.

  55. Tula says:

    Bah, Xabi is so popular on kickette :( He has a ginger beard for god’s sake!!!
    Marco ftw, he should really be against Torsten or someone like that in the interest of fairness (i.e. so he’ll win…)

    • juventina says:

      I actually LOLed! That’s hilarious! I’ve never heard the ginger beard thing before! Hahaha I also agree about the Torsten thing ;)

  56. Kleon says:

    Xabi, without doubt

  57. Trista Jade says:

    Ay Dios Mio is right. Damnit, Kickette. This is so hard!!!! You ask too much; this decision is horrid!! :/

  58. FTC says:

    Marco for me.

  59. tammyv says:

    “Also: Inappropriate comments will be deleted.”

    Can there be an comment be made that would actually be “inappropriate” where Borriello is concerned? I mean everything pretty much fits, regardless of what it is…

    That said, and because I won a lot of money off Xabi’s leaving crushing Liverpool… Xabi wins my vote

  60. carly says:

    Strangely easy for me, this one.
    Xabi, since I don’t really feel Borriello. Yes, handsome but…too top-model like.

  61. Aisha says:

    Oh my God! MARCO MARCO MARCO!! I worship that gorgeous Italian. He has earned and deserves a place in the F5!! xoxo

  62. MrsNesta says:

    MARCO BORRIELLO for me, I’ve never really been a good girl so why start now (although I do love Xabi :) ) And that Tattoo is not a downside!!!!

  63. Graciela says:

    Xabi all the way. I like my Finest Five sans STDs.

  64. juventina says:

    FOR THE RECORD! Marco does not have an STD anymore! Although Belen probably has a few. So I was steer clear of her.

  65. anano1214 says:

    Of Course Marco Borriello :D

  66. balicious8 says:

    Xabi, definitely. Marco is hotter but his attitude is a bit perverse. I choose Xabi because he's a gentleman, i like his charm and his ginger beard (i don't understand why most of people don't like the beard LOL) and plus: spaniard, don't say anymore about this xD). I would vote for Marco but after this post i see him like a personality similar to C.Ronaldo and i don't even like CR

    • Mel says:

      Ö How can you compare MarcOOOOH, to Ronaldo. Marco is soooooo much more classy. At least his past hook-ups are hot. He has good taste. Ronaldo goes for anything that breaths it seems.

      Plus Marco is so hot it's ridic. Ronaldo looks like a bad version of Latino Ken.

  67. embee says:


    MARCO BORRIELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He makes me feel all kinds of feelings, lol

    literally, the hottest football player on the planet.

  68. senora ramos says:

    sigh. this is really like choosing b/t chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate covered caramels. you just want them both!!

  69. Riya (Come on you Re says:


    Sorry for the shouting. Xabi gets me all riled up.

  70. Senorita Iniesta says:

    Marco who?

    Go Xabi. That's a clear one …

  71. Thea says:

    I'm going for Mario – Xabi's to blah for my tastes. Xabi stands out in the RM line up because he can co-ordinate his outfits – if he played for fashionista team you wouldn't notice him!

  72. Einah says:

    UGH! Talk about the battle of good vs evil :) I normally don't like man-hos BUT since Xabi (i think) will give us less realistic fantasy time bec he's a papaw now (which God knows I need :) ), I'll take Marco and his side hip tattoo :) Hail the sexyness that is Marco :)

    • MrsNesta says:

      All hail Marco! :)

    • Einah says:

      I’m actually side-tracked by the thought that my DAVEEED might not be in the list. Gawd! But we’re armed and ready for Operation: Soul Patch! Lord pls pls pls let them have David on the list :(

  73. aristeia says:

    Some of you ladies have really delicate sensibilities, wow. This was a cruel, cruel decision for me. But… I have voted and it was a hard choice.

    And that's all I'm saying on the subject. :x

  74. JV says:

    Easiest one yet. Xabi!

  75. Posh918 says:

    Xabi is 29 but looks like an old fart. MARCO BORRIELLO all the way!!! :>

  76. Erin says:

    There is nothing hotter than Xabi Alonso.

  77. p4ng says:

    who is Marco?

    Xabi all the way.. We miss you :(


  78. beri says:

    this was tough, but in the end I went with…..


  79. Beth says:


  80. senora ramos says:

    why kickette. why. i had no problems the last 2 days. then you spring this on me. can i get back to you in a year, b/c that's how long it will take me to pick.

    marco v xabi. xabi v marco.

    i feel like the fact that xabi plays for my team should make this easier. but it's not. holy hell, ladies. WHY?!?!?!?!

  81. LuvinBale says:

    If our choice is indicitive to

    our personality type then my choice is simple.


    What does that say about me? Hmmm??

  82. Lolinha says:

    This was an easy one. Guess I fall under the pure evil category.

    With all the STD stuff I probably wouldn't touch him, but I'd very much like to film him in the shower…

    Xabi's a class act though. I loved that he showed up to watch Liverpool.

  83. Dii says:

    Xabi for sure. ;) <3

  84. Nandia says:

    I usually go for the bad boy and Marco is damn HOT. b

    But how can I not votefor Xabi?? He's Spanish and plays for Real and used to pay for Liverpool and is the classiest hombre in the buisness. I just HAVE to vote for him!

  85. Khryse says:

    XABI XABI XABI!!! Te amo <3

  86. Molly says:

    I think kickette is showing favouritism again :( !!!!!

    • juventina says:

      ME TOO!!! Marco does not have an STD lets get this straight! He HAD one. He is senza STD!! UGH I hate Belen! Maybe if she knew how to only screw one guy at a time we would not be having this problem! OK rant over. :) LOL

    • Molly says:

      The STD did not have to be brought up…it was years ago and he got it taken care of and he did his punishment!!!!!

    • MrsNesta says:

      Agree – Marco is kind and caring (he gives poepe lifts in his carlol) and was hurt by that Belen. So everyone should give the guy a break on this :)

  87. Ali says:


    Xabi v Marco?


  88. Molly says:


  89. juventina says: