April 19th, 2010
The F5 Vote: Yoann Gourcuff v. Niko Kranjcar
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YOANN GOURCUFF, BORDEAUX
The case for: You might know him as “Lashes”, and oh yes, the nickname was given for a reason. Lashes is also the man who won The Kickette 2009 Readers Choice Award as the baller with the best body (by a landslide we might add).
Indeed, part of Mr. G’s charm is his commitment to repeatedly removing his clothes on the pitch. In the presence of news cameras and camera phones. Time and time again. (And again.)
Random factoid – after much careful consideration (think: zooming in until our contact lenses need replacing) we have established Yoann’s undies are clean. That’s always a plus, non? If you touch them, harps play and little turquoise bejewelled butterflies float up into the sky. Please, don’t thank us for this information, we are service-y that way.
The case against: Very little, apart from the fact that Yoann still hasn’t responded to our carefully-penned love notes in broken Primary School French. Well, there’s the odd cheesy editorial spread to hold against him. It’s not much, but it’s all we’ve got.
NIKO KRANJCAR, TOTTENHAM
The case for: Remember that movie There Is Something About Mary? Well, there is definitely something about Niko. And no, it’s not the scene you’re thinking about. It’s just a catchy phrase. Please try to move past that scene. Sorry, we’ve ruined this, haven’t we?
The “something” we’re talking about is a delectable combination of physical attributes from this fine Croatian midfielder. The eyes. The couldn’t-care-less hair. The hobo look that would normally give us the stabbies. The tongue. The fact he obviously doesn’t take himself seriously (pornstache, hello!). And we love that he’s is a bit emo. Except if it’s due to crapollocks injuries.
Before you accuse us of being marginally shallow, we must insist otherwise. We are shamelessly shallow – and thus, one of the reasons why there is so much Niko love at Kickette HQ is because of his simply thightastic kickers. (He’s a two-time TTO winner, after all.)
The case against: Only one. But it’s a biggie – he rarely Takes. His. Kit. Off.** This makes our objectifying of his personage more of a challenge.
Niko notes:
* Thank you Venice for sharing what is possibly the only Niko-sans-shirt pic ever recorded.
** FYI – do you know what you get when you google Niko Kranjcar naked? It’s definitely not Niko. It’s definitely not pretty. And it’s definitely NSFW.
—–
A quick reminder: Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th.
COMMENTS & VOTING ARE NOW CLOSED
YOANN!!! A million times, Yoann!
Oh come on! Niko, definitely. Those eyes, that cheeky smile… the abs of ‘Lashes’ don’t really do it for me. Team Niko!
nikoooooooooo
Yoann, now and forever. No contest. Niko is cute. Yoann is absurdly gorgeous.
What a choice? Yoann is definitely hot but I think Nico just gets – there is def something about him!!!
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN YOANNS 'ABS'?! HIS RIBS ARE STICKING OUT FFS! he needs to stop showing them off cos realy he has a weird unsymettrical face (click on the first link for him and see.)
just look at that photo.
just look it at.
<3333333
& this one http://community.kickette.com/Photo/Niko-Kranjcar…
<3333
Dearest Kickette, why would you even HAVE to ask? Niko is all a girl needs to be happy in this world!! DONE!
http://community.kickette.com/Photo/Niko-Kranjcar…
Ohh Yoann please! =] I musn’t forget my manners Kickette!
I mean how could you refuse that??
Yoann <3
Yoooaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn
I REFUSE TO VOTE ON PRINCIPLE!!! I ALSO KNOW THAT I HAVE ENOUGH LOVE FOR BOTH OF THEM (possibly at the same time).
Yoann, Yoann, a thousand times Yoann.
Okayyyy…This is mean on sooo many levels
But it has to be my first love in football….Niko <3
Ohh..How cruel is it to put Niko and Yoann together on the vote?!?I think I'll vote for Niko.. Yoann wll get enough votes anyway
Nico is a hot tamale alright but Yoann is hotter than the sun! No contest.
both are gourgeous but i think yoann is sexier
Is there even e need 2 ask???????? Yoann all the way! Beyond sexy.
niko who? haha, just kidding. as much as i like niko, this is no brainer….yoann all the way! he's the sole reason i'm watching ligue 1 (shallow me!).
Oh wow that's a ridiculously hard decision…..but after much thought….Niko
Personally neither of them are among my pick of hottest footballers out there, but for sure Yoann just does not do it for me. Niko is very cute though!
Yoann.
I want to saint his mother just for giving him birth.
You can never go wrong with a Hrvatska Hotspur. Niko, please and thank you.
NIKO.
Yoann
Gourcuff all day every day. Manchester United need to buy him so I can watch him every week.
OH LORD HAVE MERCY!!!:-D Can you imagine gorgeous Yoann in that precious red kit! He can be my little (red) devil any time he want’s…:-D
anyway I voted for Yoann! of course,thank’s Kickettes for letting us vote just ONE TIME,because i think that i will be next to my computer,voting all night long 
and i have exam tomorrow:-(
OHH God i got chills just thinking of it!
Niko!!! Yoann is fine, but Niko just takes it. He and Torres rule when it comes to cuteness.
Yoann!!!
Yoann, Oui?
YOANN.
btdubs — where is fernando torres? he should have been up years ago, damn it.
Yoann, Yoann, Yoann, Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann, Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann, Yoann, Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann…
Please let it be my Lashes!!!
Both beautiful boys. But there’s something a bit vacant about Yoann’s gaze. Niko looks like he has a dirty secret. I vote Niko!
Yoann…
yoann yoann yoannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
right, i don't quite get how this is a quesiton. Yoann or someone else? now if that someone were Cesc, there would be problems. But aside from that…YOANN yes please.
speaking of cesc, will he be making an F5 comeback? please please please? with whipped cream and a cherry on top?
yoann! clearly… the other guy looks like a dorky teenager
hmmm but where is mario gomez?!
Yoann, all the way!
And not only because of "nakedness" but he is a gorgeous man, beautiful eyes and smile, humble and shy. There are much more reasons for me to choose him actually.
Yoann, marry us, ok?
i’m liking the usage of the plural
The french accent gives Yoann the win.
I want Marco:( LOL Why isn’t he here?
Borriello? Oh yeah, I’ll second that request.
OH Kickette… HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US.
Cruel, so very cruel….
Niko.
The eyes have it.
damn it kickette…so NOT fair…nooooooo, i want Niko and Yo in F5….but i have to say Yoann…. although my heart breaks for that adorable croat ;((((((((
oh it’s pretty hard to decide. both are gorgeous handsome guys. but i think yoann is more sexy so finer =)
YOANN GOURCUFF ALL THE WAY!!!
FTW!!!!
xD <3
dnnt listeen too helennaaa votee foor yoann yoann yoann yoann yoann yoann <3 hess theee fittessstt evaar!
Yoann because Niko’s married. It’s the only way I could split them.
http://www.youtube.com/user/greekgougla#p/f/42/ZhNPOCImGhw
<3333
Umm, Yoann enjoys running around half-naked and Niko can’t even get the kit over his head? Yoann all the way, ladies. All. The. Way.
oh and dear kickettes, before you vote may i have a minute of your time to watch this interview. of niko.
thats all i ask, just listen to him speak.
then you can choose.
NIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKONIKO
ahem.
daj se sredi , koji ti je . . .
NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO PLEEEEASE
You’re welcome Kickette
Although to be fair, there were a few other moments of Niko taking his shirt off captured on camera – apparently all you need to do is ask and he’s more than willing to comply:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvoum62O3Xk
(it’s around 1:15)
(I vote Niko of course, no offense to Yoann who is clearly a beautiful man but Niko just has everything going for him)
Definitly Niko because I know him for long, since he started play for NK Dinamo and Croatia. He was first footballer I loved
Love him because he is smart and intellignent+cute and gorgeous (oh, that eyes <3 ). He is not tipically footbaler and there aren´t any scandals. He is not much in newspaper and because of that every game he play is long awaited by my side.
Gourcuff is wooow but not much as Niko
Yoann for ever and always! Not that Niko isn’t a beautiful man BUT I have to agree with Kickett- Niko is never half naked or airs his abs after a long hard game. Hehehe – long and hard.
Yoann is a giver and I likey!!
Mr Niko!
Yoann.
As if there were ever any question…
Kickette throwing it DOWN. I’ll vote for Niko.
I voted Yoann!
Wow, this was ridiculously tough. I voted Yoann… NO NIKO! STOP STARING AT ME! THOSE EYES WILL NOT CHANGE MY VOTE! -mental breakdown-
Bien sur que c'est le delicieux Gourcuff!!
I think there is some favouritism here Kickette lol lol lol…the big picture of Yoann without his shirt on the homepage hmmmm…lol…lol…but it doesn’t matter I voted for Yoann anyways yayyyyy!!!!!
!!!!
Dear Kickette, is this even a serious question? Is there REALLY a competition between Yoann and a baby-faced man with a chin ferret?
CHIN FERRET >:O
EXACTLY.
A. The leader of the previous F5 (who won’t be in the new one) was Iker Casillas – a baby-faced man with a chin ferret.
B. Of the two of these, Niko does it more for me.
Troops! We need to sort out this DULLSIONAL view that Niko os hotter than Yonann!
Solution: Glasses or Contact lens!
Yoann. I hope you have your pink riot helmets polished and at the ready. This is going to get ugly…
yoann, of course. but it was difficult. ok, maybe not difficult, but niko is nummy. sigh, but yoann. oui, je t’adore
YOANN <333
I'm so mad at this! >:-(
How can there be a contest between these two when one is so prone to nakedness and the other one is exactly the opposite? I think that might lead to biased voting.
I think both of them could easily be in the F5, but I vote for Niko, for every reason.
Plus I'm getting a bit tired of Lashes.
these two against each other? D: this is such an impossible choice! niko edges yoann out on account of playing for spurs and his accent in english.
one-sided on my part…i didn't read anything after the stuff about YOANN
I would like an order of Yoann please! Yoann.
Kickette, I never will forgive you for making me chose between the two most beautiful footballers in the game at the minute, this is worse than what I imagine torture would be like!
Dear lord, I have had easier Maths papers. Erm. Yoann. No, Niko. No Lashes… no Niko's eyes. Yoann has a very nice voice and he speaks French. He also attends fashion week. AARGH! Niko. No wait…
NIKO!
THIS IS NOT FAIR THEY ARE MY TWO FAVOURITE!
but niko by far oooomg go on my profile (Mrs Niko Kranjcar) to see the best pictures everrrr of him.
vote for him!
& HULLO KICKETTE THANK ME FOR GIVING YOU THE LINK TO THE SPURS WEBSITE ABOUT HIS INURY! Jeez!
VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO VOTE NIKO !!!!
Hi Helena,
We tweeted about Niko's injury a few days ago…so it was already on our radar and saved for this post. Cheers!
LOOOOOOOOOOOL oh right.
I knew that.
oh goodness….you put a pic up with his shirt off! how can I not choose Yohann…goodness he's delicious!
Gourcuff. Obviously. His lashes far outweigh the facial hair.
Yoann.
Where's my Xabi?
niko because he's actually older than me
and i've known him long before yoann came into the picture. yoann's pretty, no doubt, but a little TOO pretty for me.
I'll go for Niko, he's got that kind of cuddly cuteness like a little fawn
LOL LOL this is really funny!!!!
NIKO NIKO NIKO NIKO!
I dont see the attraction to the other guy….
‘the other guy?’ hahahahahah!
@Jessica "the other guy" IS GOING TO WIN IT!!!
It's starting to get ugly
sorry Jessica just kidding!!! 
Just in my own personal opinion, I don't see it.
Everyone is welcome to their own opinion I believe.
Niko
J'ADORE YOANN!!! Of course i vote for him! C'mon Gourcuff lovers we have to put him in top 5! YES WE CAN! ;-D
Niko has gorgeous eyes and amazing skin but I had to give this one to Yoann "Lashes" Gourcuff. Tough one, kickette.
Haha Kickette only one vote each, this will be interesting
This is my first time voting and feel the need to celebrate with some wine 
I tried to vote again it wouldn't let me LOL LOL LOL!!!
well it was worth a try LOL
I voted Yoann
Thanks Ladies! Molly – there’s no harm in favourtism! Already pointed out that’s there been a shift in Kickette editorial policy!
Even though Yoann is gorgeous, he's had his time in the F5, Niko deserves a spot and more and more attention
NIKO! NIKO! but kickette, that's not playing fair. Niko is, and always will be my first choice. However, you could have put him up against a munter like Cristiano Ronaldo instead – both Niko and Yoann would have been in my finest 5-not fair that one has to go out!!!
Trust us, this hurts us as much as it hurts you… oh, and they're all going to hurt this week. Enjoy!
ooh nasty!
i’m kind of scared now for this week. imagine, yoann and niko are only day one. i wonder who they’ll pair iker up with…
…… I know
Well out with the old – and in with better hung! he he
I am pretty sure Iker is well hung lol lol lol!!! This whole pairing of ballers things is just making my whole week…I can’t stop laughing LOL.
Hysterical crazy fangirl laughter me thinks LOL
Hehehe lol yeah!!!!
But did you see THAT photo???
What photo???
Lol lol
Which photo, please post……but did you see THAT video lol
What video??? LOL why I am missing these things lol?
Schroll down
http://www.eteignezvotreordinateur.com/oops-yoann…
if that one don’t work
http://www.news-et-actualite.com/video-yoann-gourcuff-nu-dans-les-vestiaires-apres-match/
That video makes me think nasty thoughts!!! lol!!
Thanks MrsNesta!!!
holy hell mrsnesta you are trying to kill me.
Ramos – you should know by now that I NEVER put things that aren't backed up by fact. That's a top specimen – the rest of him not bad either!
i never doubted you with yoann's hotness
just let me aligne your football team over to Rebel alliance (AKA Barcelona) and you'd be all set!!!
woah, woah, woah, ma’am. just because i agree yoann is hot does not mean i will be going over to the dark side
well you don’t know what your missing! Will tell you all being well in the 22nd of May!
the trophies don’t tempt me. now if you had chocolate. or pique covered in chocolate. i could get on board with that.
and i believe that inter has something to say about that still.
I know!!! I hope they don’t pair Iker up with Marco Borriello. I will cry
, literally I will cry 
!!!!! How would I vote…I wont be able to…but then I would have too 
!!!
Oh F**kn NO! Iker vs Marco?! Well, we can only blame Pastasauce if Iker lose.
hehe we blame her for most things, but think this time it would be true lol, don't want to think about Iker v. Marco for F5, but could think about them in a wrestling match or something similar…..
wrestling match with oil and speaking sexily accented english.
and it would be her and his fashion horror show that he continually makes us deal with if he got the boot.
sexily accented english. ooh yes please
Lol yeah a wrestling match with tight little shorts
!!! But yeah she (can't even say her name anymore, it makes me sick) is to blame for all his problems 
.
Haha
BUT given that scenario – I just MIGHT take up Marco. Iker has been giving us a lot of heartbreaks these days. Atleast with Marco, I've loooonnnggg accepted he's a man-ho 
Hhmmm… excited to see the rest of the line-up 
ahahahahahahahahahahah lude babe
Kickette could you please remove this comment, it's an ethnic slur and very offensive.
come again? …….
Venice, it has been removed.
It goes without saying racial and/or ethnic slurs will not be tolerated so please keep it clean. If not, the comment will be deleted and the user will be banned.
Thanks.