April 19th, 2010

The F5 Vote: Yoann Gourcuff v. Niko Kranjcar

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: Entity: line 159: parser error : Opening and ending tag mismatch: body line 63 and div in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: </div> in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: ^ in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: Entity: line 219: parser error : Opening and ending tag mismatch: html line 2 and body in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: </body> in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: ^ in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: Entity: line 220: parser error : Extra content at the end of the document in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: </html> in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: simplexml_load_string() [function.simplexml-load-string]: ^ in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 381

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 385

Warning: Division by zero in /var/www/html/ki/kickette.com/wp-content/plugins/polldaddy/polldaddy-org.php on line 512


The case for: You might know him as “Lashes”, and oh yes, the nickname was given for a reason. Lashes is also the man who won The Kickette 2009 Readers Choice Award as the baller with the best body (by a landslide we might add).

Indeed, part of Mr. G’s charm is his commitment to repeatedly removing his clothes on the pitch. In the presence of news cameras and camera phones. Time and time again. (And again.)

Random factoid – after much careful consideration (think:  zooming in until our contact lenses need replacing) we have established Yoann’s undies are clean. That’s always a plus, non? If you touch them, harps play and little turquoise bejewelled butterflies float up into the sky. Please, don’t thank us for this information, we are service-y that way.

The case against: Very little, apart from the fact that Yoann still hasn’t responded to our carefully-penned love notes in broken Primary School French. Well, there’s the odd cheesy editorial spread to hold against him. It’s not much, but it’s all we’ve got.


The case for: Remember that movie There Is Something About Mary? Well, there is definitely something about Niko. And no, it’s not the scene you’re thinking about. It’s just a catchy phrase. Please try to move past that scene. Sorry, we’ve ruined this, haven’t we?

The “something” we’re talking about is a delectable combination of physical attributes from this fine Croatian midfielder. The eyes. The couldn’t-care-less hair. The hobo look that would normally give us the stabbies. The tongue. The fact he obviously doesn’t take himself seriously (pornstache, hello!). And we love that he’s is a bit emo. Except if it’s due to crapollocks injuries.

Before you accuse us of being marginally shallow, we must insist otherwise. We are shamelessly shallow – and thus, one of the reasons why there is so much Niko love at Kickette HQ is because of his simply thightastic kickers. (He’s a two-time TTO winner, after all.)

The case against: Only one. But it’s a biggie – he rarely Takes. His. Kit. Off.** This makes our objectifying of his personage more of a challenge.

Niko notes:
* Thank you Venice for sharing what is possibly the only Niko-sans-shirt pic ever recorded.
** FYI – do you know what you get when you google Niko Kranjcar naked? It’s definitely not Niko. It’s definitely not pretty. And it’s definitely NSFW.

A quick reminder: Voting (which is via the poll below) will be open until 5am GMT/Midnight EST on Friday, 23 April; Only one of the footballers in each offered pairing will be included in the Finest Five 4.0 list; The new Finest Five list will be revealed on Monday the 26th.


Related Posts with Thumbnails

141 Responses to “The F5 Vote: Yoann Gourcuff v. Niko Kranjcar”

  1. geds says:

    NIKOOO ..my baee ;)

  2. kavs says:

    YOANN!!! A million times, Yoann!

  3. Jelly Bean says:

    Oh come on! Niko, definitely. Those eyes, that cheeky smile… the abs of ‘Lashes’ don’t really do it for me. Team Niko!

  4. queen says:

    nikoooooooooo :D

  5. jenny says:

    Yoann, now and forever. No contest. Niko is cute. Yoann is absurdly gorgeous.

  6. Beth says:

    What a choice? Yoann is definitely hot but I think Nico just gets – there is def something about him!!!

  7. Helena says:

    HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN YOANNS 'ABS'?! HIS RIBS ARE STICKING OUT FFS! he needs to stop showing them off cos realy he has a weird unsymettrical face (click on the first link for him and see.)

  8. Helena says:

    just look at that photo.

    just look it at.


    & this one http://community.kickette.com/Photo/Niko-Kranjcar…

  9. Dearest Kickette, why would you even HAVE to ask? Niko is all a girl needs to be happy in this world!! DONE!

  10. Ana;) says:

    Ohh Yoann please! =] I musn’t forget my manners Kickette!
    I mean how could you refuse that??

  11. Lou says:

    Yoann <3

  12. Thaila says:

    Yoooaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn :)

  13. Callie says:


  14. SweetVito says:

    Yoann, Yoann, a thousand times Yoann.

  15. Amyy says:

    Okayyyy…This is mean on sooo many levels :(

    But it has to be my first love in football….Niko <3

  16. Karla says:

    Ohh..How cruel is it to put Niko and Yoann together on the vote?!?I think I'll vote for Niko.. Yoann wll get enough votes anyway :)

  17. shay says:

    Nico is a hot tamale alright but Yoann is hotter than the sun! No contest.

  18. chefc says:

    both are gourgeous but i think yoann is sexier

  19. footiechik says:

    Is there even e need 2 ask???????? Yoann all the way! Beyond sexy.

  20. nia says:

    niko who? haha, just kidding. as much as i like niko, this is no brainer….yoann all the way! he's the sole reason i'm watching ligue 1 (shallow me!).

  21. IrishBlue says:

    Oh wow that's a ridiculously hard decision…..but after much thought….Niko :-)

  22. caitanya says:

    Personally neither of them are among my pick of hottest footballers out there, but for sure Yoann just does not do it for me. Niko is very cute though!

  23. MrsYoann says:


    I want to saint his mother just for giving him birth.

  24. C'rel says:

    You can never go wrong with a Hrvatska Hotspur. Niko, please and thank you.

  25. aristeia says:


  26. Solina says:

    Yoann :D

  27. Nate says:

    Gourcuff all day every day. Manchester United need to buy him so I can watch him every week.

    • lorena_chanel says:

      OH LORD HAVE MERCY!!!:-D Can you imagine gorgeous Yoann in that precious red kit! He can be my little (red) devil any time he want’s…:-D
      OHH God i got chills just thinking of it! :-D anyway I voted for Yoann! of course,thank’s Kickettes for letting us vote just ONE TIME,because i think that i will be next to my computer,voting all night long :-D and i have exam tomorrow:-(

  28. Cherry says:

    Niko!!! Yoann is fine, but Niko just takes it. He and Torres rule when it comes to cuteness.

  29. Suze says:


    btdubs — where is fernando torres? he should have been up years ago, damn it.

  30. lila says:

    Yoann, Yoann, Yoann, Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann, Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann, Yoann, Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann,Yoann…
    Please let it be my Lashes!!!

  31. Erin says:

    Both beautiful boys. But there’s something a bit vacant about Yoann’s gaze. Niko looks like he has a dirty secret. I vote Niko!

  32. Chi says:


  33. Mariam says:

    yoann yoann yoannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. sounderslove says:

    right, i don't quite get how this is a quesiton. Yoann or someone else? now if that someone were Cesc, there would be problems. But aside from that…YOANN yes please.

    speaking of cesc, will he be making an F5 comeback? please please please? with whipped cream and a cherry on top?

  35. Kara.Lara says:

    yoann! clearly… the other guy looks like a dorky teenager :) hmmm but where is mario gomez?!

  36. MrsCole says:

    Yoann, all the way!

  37. aps says:

    The french accent gives Yoann the win.

  38. juventina says:

    I want Marco:( LOL Why isn’t he here?

  39. wanniemelon says:


    Cruel, so very cruel….

  40. Niko.

    The eyes have it. :)

  41. missbubbles says:

    damn it kickette…so NOT fair…nooooooo, i want Niko and Yo in F5….but i have to say Yoann…. although my heart breaks for that adorable croat ;((((((((

  42. zen says:

    oh it’s pretty hard to decide. both are gorgeous handsome guys. but i think yoann is more sexy so finer =)

  43. ICan'tThink says:

    xD <3

  44. Cleo says:

    dnnt listeen too helennaaa votee foor yoann yoann yoann yoann yoann yoann <3 hess theee fittessstt evaar!

  45. suzie says:

    Yoann because Niko’s married. It’s the only way I could split them.

  46. Trista Jade says:

    Umm, Yoann enjoys running around half-naked and Niko can’t even get the kit over his head? Yoann all the way, ladies. All. The. Way. ;)

  47. Helena says:

    oh and dear kickettes, before you vote may i have a minute of your time to watch this interview. of niko.
    thats all i ask, just listen to him speak.
    then you can choose.


    ahem. 8-)

  48. Jackie says:


  49. Venice says:

    You’re welcome Kickette :-D

    Although to be fair, there were a few other moments of Niko taking his shirt off captured on camera – apparently all you need to do is ask and he’s more than willing to comply:
    (it’s around 1:15)

    (I vote Niko of course, no offense to Yoann who is clearly a beautiful man but Niko just has everything going for him)

  50. pandora says:

    Definitly Niko because I know him for long, since he started play for NK Dinamo and Croatia. He was first footballer I loved :) Love him because he is smart and intellignent+cute and gorgeous (oh, that eyes <3 ). He is not tipically footbaler and there aren´t any scandals. He is not much in newspaper and because of that every game he play is long awaited by my side.
    Gourcuff is wooow but not much as Niko :)

  51. LuvinBale says:

    Yoann for ever and always! Not that Niko isn’t a beautiful man BUT I have to agree with Kickett- Niko is never half naked or airs his abs after a long hard game. Hehehe – long and hard.

    Yoann is a giver and I likey!!

  52. Megan says:

    Mr Niko!

  53. Innocenza says:


    As if there were ever any question…

  54. Kickette throwing it DOWN. I’ll vote for Niko.

  55. ruby80 says:

    I voted Yoann!

  56. NandosGirl says:

    Wow, this was ridiculously tough. I voted Yoann… NO NIKO! STOP STARING AT ME! THOSE EYES WILL NOT CHANGE MY VOTE! -mental breakdown-

  57. Mimi says:

    Bien sur que c'est le delicieux Gourcuff!!

  58. Molly says:

    I think there is some favouritism here Kickette lol lol lol…the big picture of Yoann without his shirt on the homepage hmmmm…lol…lol…but it doesn’t matter I voted for Yoann anyways yayyyyy!!!!! :) !!!!

  59. MissEstonia says:

    Dear Kickette, is this even a serious question? Is there REALLY a competition between Yoann and a baby-faced man with a chin ferret?

  60. Thea says:

    Troops! We need to sort out this DULLSIONAL view that Niko os hotter than Yonann!

  61. Lolinha says:

    Yoann. I hope you have your pink riot helmets polished and at the ready. This is going to get ugly…

  62. senora ramos says:

    yoann, of course. but it was difficult. ok, maybe not difficult, but niko is nummy. sigh, but yoann. oui, je t’adore

  63. footbalista says:

    YOANN <333

  64. carly says:

    I'm so mad at this! >:-(

    How can there be a contest between these two when one is so prone to nakedness and the other one is exactly the opposite? I think that might lead to biased voting.

    I think both of them could easily be in the F5, but I vote for Niko, for every reason.

    Plus I'm getting a bit tired of Lashes.

  65. gise says:

    these two against each other? D: this is such an impossible choice! niko edges yoann out on account of playing for spurs and his accent in english.

  66. livergirl88 says:

    one-sided on my part…i didn't read anything after the stuff about YOANN

  67. liv says:

    I would like an order of Yoann please! Yoann.

  68. Sinbad says:

    Kickette, I never will forgive you for making me chose between the two most beautiful footballers in the game at the minute, this is worse than what I imagine torture would be like! :(

  69. Zo.acm says:

    Dear lord, I have had easier Maths papers. Erm. Yoann. No, Niko. No Lashes… no Niko's eyes. Yoann has a very nice voice and he speaks French. He also attends fashion week. AARGH! Niko. No wait…

  70. C'rel says:


  71. Helena says:


    but niko by far oooomg go on my profile (Mrs Niko Kranjcar) to see the best pictures everrrr of him.

    vote for him!



  72. beri says:

    oh goodness….you put a pic up with his shirt off! how can I not choose Yohann…goodness he's delicious!

  73. Blair says:

    Gourcuff. Obviously. His lashes far outweigh the facial hair.

  74. Riya (Come on you Re says:


    Where's my Xabi?

  75. Alessandra says:

    niko because he's actually older than me :P and i've known him long before yoann came into the picture. yoann's pretty, no doubt, but a little TOO pretty for me.

  76. KW says:

    I'll go for Niko, he's got that kind of cuddly cuteness like a little fawn

  77. Jessica says:


    I dont see the attraction to the other guy….

    • Alessandra says:

      ‘the other guy?’ hahahahahah!

      • lorena_chanel says:

        @Jessica "the other guy" IS GOING TO WIN IT!!!

        It's starting to get ugly :-D sorry Jessica just kidding!!! :-D

        • Jessica says:

          Just in my own personal opinion, I don't see it.

          Everyone is welcome to their own opinion I believe.

  78. Anna says:

    Niko :D

  79. lorena_chanel says:

    J'ADORE YOANN!!! Of course i vote for him! C'mon Gourcuff lovers we have to put him in top 5! YES WE CAN! ;-D

  80. goalkeeperette says:

    Niko has gorgeous eyes and amazing skin but I had to give this one to Yoann "Lashes" Gourcuff. Tough one, kickette.

  81. MrsNesta says:

    Haha Kickette only one vote each, this will be interesting :) This is my first time voting and feel the need to celebrate with some wine :)

  82. tiktok says:

    Even though Yoann is gorgeous, he's had his time in the F5, Niko deserves a spot and more and more attention ;)

  83. moomin1314 says:

    NIKO! NIKO! but kickette, that's not playing fair. Niko is, and always will be my first choice. However, you could have put him up against a munter like Cristiano Ronaldo instead – both Niko and Yoann would have been in my finest 5-not fair that one has to go out!!!

  84. Nastya says:

    ahahahahahahahahahahah lude babe :)

  85. Venice says:

    Kickette could you please remove this comment, it's an ethnic slur and very offensive.

  86. Helena says:

    come again? …….

  87. Kickette Mods says:

    Venice, it has been removed.

    It goes without saying racial and/or ethnic slurs will not be tolerated so please keep it clean. If not, the comment will be deleted and the user will be banned.