July 30th, 2012

The Finest Five: Seven Minutes In (Six Pack) Heaven

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For those blissfully unaware, the Kickette F5 list tends to rage controversy and war across the land. No matter that these “hot list” choices are entirely subjective and based on the mercy of our whims and alcohol intake for the day; we remain braced for the inevitable threats, bribes, anger, elation and tears from the many ‘ballers and fans of such ‘ballers that did not make the cut.  In fact, we’re hiring body guards for the potential backlash we will incur after removing two of our long time placeholders from the lust list.

Side note: partaking in this discussion does not affect your rights to be taken seriously as a footie fan. It just makes you a more complete one.

In order to rejigger our F5 version 7.0 collection of manservants, we first had to drop Lance Parker, Cesc Fabregas and Marco Borriello from the 6.5 iteration. Why? Simply because they’re no longer “doing it” for us. When they decide to step up to the plate and make a play for their old crowns, we’ll assess. But for now, ’tis list (spots #1-4 at least) soldiers on without them.

FYI, we imposed a minimum mandatory height restriction of 6’0” for the seventh iteration of this series. We like to discriminate, what can we say.


Seeing those pics of Mr Giroud stark nekkid is proof that God loves us and wants us happy.

If and when a footballer presents us with his penis, we’re forced to shoot him straight to the top F5 slot. Michael Dawson once offered a glimpse, true, but the still frame we grabbed was limited in it’s information. On the other hand, the Ligue 1′s reining sexiest player swung his package around the Montpellier dressing room like a garden hose at a flower show.

Additional points were also awarded for making us want to stare at a photo of him shoving his tongue down Mathieu Debuchy’s throat (we know that’s a lie but give us this fantasy anyway).

He’s one of the few material possessions we’d grab before fleeing from a burning building and his body is our cover image on Facebook. So yeah, those counted towards hit sizzle quotient too.



First he was seen driving Miss Daisy and horsing around (no pun intended) with the bubbas of his teammates. Then, he showed up on our desktops in a suit. From there, he went about his bizniz, showing off his skin in the wind whilst on holiday until, most recently, he was spotted at the tattoo parlor shirtless.

‘Tis truly been the Summer de Sergio y his hair. Sure, it’s a tad on the choppy-coiffed side, but earlier this off-season The Ramos took a much needed step into our hearts with his upgraded hair choices.

It helps that his all around “Sergio-ness” lately delights and inspires. So does his insanely perfect body. Possibly the only player who can truly challenge Cristiano Ronaldo for the “best bod” moniker, and for that, Sergio should stand tall and wear his Louis Vuitton accessories with pride.

But best of all: he’s newly single. High five!



No one, inclucing ourselves, understands our attraction to the sometimes arrogant, lots of times aggro, animal-screen-print-wearing ‘baller who is Kevin-Prince Boateng. All we do know is that the AC Milan man can rev up our girly engines with one swivel of his stone carved hips. Make yourselves a martini, click through this link and watch the video. We’ll wait.

Have you been placing poetry, chocolates and diamond rings atop your romance must-haves, Kickettes? K-PB might not be your cuppa then as this man is straight sexual prowess on steroids. So go ahead, hurry along and seek out your dose of sexiness elsewhere.

But while you go do you, we’ll be at the champagne bar pondering why we haven’t rectified the whole not living in Miami situ by now.



Now, as anyone familiar with the Kickette belief system knows, when a player goes out of their way to help us objectify them, we thusly reward. See: David Beckhams Armani underwear ads; Italian boys for Dolce & Gabbanaonce and then twice. So from the moment we saw Boca’s latest commitment, we knew what had to be done.

Loyal readers, please do not debate that Boca’s teeth/body hair/etc makes him ineligible for consideration. He is good mates with fellow exhibitionist/USMNT ‘baller, Tim Howard. The value in daydream fantasyland for that alone is priceless.

And also precisely why he’s made the jump from #5 to #4.



Quelle horror!

This is definitely a first for us and our esteemed lust list, but with so many players in the world to choose from, narrowing things down to our favourite five isn’t easy. So many club lounges to investigate, so little time.

Which is why we’re putting this open seat out there to you, dear readers. What player are we missing from the list?  Is there someone from the lower leagues we’ve overlooked? Your thoughts on leaving this slot permanently vacant until someone worthy comes along?

We thank you in advance for your commitment to the cause.


Related: The Finest Five 1.0, 2.0, 3.04.0, 5.06.0, 6.5
Related: Kickette Hot Hall Of Fame

Related Posts with Thumbnails

293 Responses to “The Finest Five: Seven Minutes In (Six Pack) Heaven”

  1. S.P.D says:

    Sergio is the best , wish all shiny day

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    For supporting soccer players all over the world, gives you all the TOOLS and the best products to improve your skills (mental & physical). http://on.fb.me/11uCwzW

  2. leo says:

    kevinnnn you are the best love you

  3. restu says:

    waw bgtt,,, hot

  4. Anesa says:

    Where's Daniel Agger on this list ?

  5. Simon says:

    Nice to see no Ronaldo!

  6. may says:

    Cesar Azpilicueta deserves a chance to be the fifth!

  7. celinelx says:

    HOW about Aaron Ramsey!!??!!
    He's undeniably handsome and he also seemslike a genuine nice guy .

  8. Lee says:

    Sergio Aguero sometimes amazing things come in small packages…

  9. Jelly says:

    Nuri Sahin. In the Liverpool vs Arsenal game, he was given a once over by the camera, probably the hottest thing I've seen on the football field.

  10. Sherry says:

    I check this post every so often to see if Nando has been added to his rightful position on the FF. Alas, he still has not. C'mon Kickette, how long will you make us suffer??

  11. ArsenalHotties says:

    Bring Cesc back!!!
    Or switch it up with a current Arsenal hottie…Lucas Podolski..Jack Wilshire…perhaps.

  12. Mari15 says:

    Miralem Sulejmani anybody?

  13. Lisa says:

    ok so a week has gone by and still no nando on the finest five?!?!?!

    I can't wait much longer, honestly!

  14. lisa says:

    Why isn't my lovely Nando on the list??? He should be 4th. Bump the other guy down to 5th.

  15. Nayet21 says:

    Well, my definitive option would be Mats Hummels. The other options are Mathieu Debuchy and Gareth Bale. BTW, I love that you kept Carlos Bocanegra he's soooo dreamy. And, no offence, but I disagree with Kevin-Prince Boateng…

  16. Martinrhein. says:

    This is what I call 'bullshit'

  17. Sour says:

    Nando! He's been playing well, he is effortlessly amazing looking all the time… he should at least be on here, if not HHOF! His credentials are nearly endless!

  18. Becks says:

    What about Eden Hazard??? He looks experienced and mysterious…hot combination!

  19. Steph says:

    What about Mesut Ozil?

  20. minka says:

    Torres for me!

  21. la roja says:

    Fernando Torres please!

  22. mimi says:

    Shame Torres still isn´t on the list. C´mon kickettes!

  23. Jules_A says:

    Finally Mr. Raw Sex Appeal Ramos is here **))

  24. mimi says:

    Nando Torres all the time!

  25. Tinka says:

    Nando Torres has to be on the list!

  26. stone fox says:

    This is the most stupid list ever, why would you spend your time creating and voting and arguing who is the best.
    We will never agree…pfff,waste of time.Every one have their own perception of beauty.

  27. kiko says:

    This man HAS to be on the list! http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8qtqo36I51rcbc… What a beauty! <3

  28. kinky says:

    Fernando Torres!!!

  29. mina says:

    C´mon kickettes! Beautiful Nando scored this weekend and looked absolutely sexy on the pitch. He´s the right man for the 3rd or 5th place!

  30. elylovesfootball says:

    Okay i have to say it again. Nando should go straight to the hot h.o.f.!!! I think it's about time.
    Regarding the F5… oh please, really?? Boateng! Wtf
    This list would be the perfect list if you replace Boateng with Mario Gomez and you put Aaron Ramsey in the vacant spot. I agree with the choices of Giroud and Boca and with finally placing The Ramos, but really Boateng has nothing to do with that list. And neither has the vacant spot. There's plenty of hot/adorable/great players out there just waiting to be on the list.

  31. Clare says:

    I would put here Leo Bonucci

  32. Sarah says:

    Fernando Torres Sanz please!

  33. Lola goes solo says:

    Awww, Sergio…I couldn't be happier. Btw, if there's even the slightest possibility that you will ever read this, I want you to know that te he amado, te amo y te amaré por siempre.

  34. davinia says:

    Fernando Torres for the 5th spot!

  35. lilly says:

    Nando Torres for the 5th place please!

  36. Olga says:

    Fernando Torres please!!!

  37. Caitlyn says:

    No Cesc..Roger that!! (its about time)

  38. Sergio says:

    My Fer Torres has to be on the list with me. :D

  39. amyller says:

    Esteban Granero is a totally underrated hottie

    Example 1: http://www.ronaldo7.net/news/2012/cristiano-ronal…

    Example 2: http://totalfootballmadness.com/wp-content/upload…

  40. Amanda says:

    Why Fernando Torres isn´t on the list? Or on the HHoF? Please Kickettes…

  41. Kristina says:

    What?! I've been on a two week cruise with radio silence and I come home and find this post?! A Finest Five-post that doesn't include Mario Gomez? Excuse me, but has the world gone mad?

  42. mizzie says:

    Nando Torres!

  43. gucci says:

    Torres for me all the time!

  44. Jenny89 says:

    Stewart Downing <3 ;)

  45. amy says:

    its not alla bout the abs.
    so please please pleeasee bring the nando back!

  46. marie says:

    Am I the only one who doesn't find Ramos attractive?

    • JenC says:

      No you're not the only one.

    • Jules says:

      I think to find him attractive you must understand somehow his sex appeal,to see it.For example I know that Marchisio has a model face and perfect body,but for me he has no sex appeal,but Ramos does and I find him irresistible.

    • Zareen says:

      Yeah it's just you haha

    • Sherry says:

      At first glance I didn't see it either but after some time (and that great haircut) I realized he is a sexy, sexy beast. He looks like he would tear it up. Ok I'm going to go cool off now.

  47. ange says:

    Lucas Neill

  48. Anka says:

    Why isn´t this perfection of a man on the list? C´mon kickettes! http://gfsports.tumblr.com/post/28234438094

  49. Annana says:

    No Fernando Torres? Oh come on… he's gorgeous.

  50. sassychicks14 says:

    Aaaaah…My Sergio!! Finally!! Gracias Kickette!!

  51. Pedo scout says:

    I NOMINATE CLAUDIO MARCHISIO (just look into his eyes, from a shirtless picture preferably, that should do the trick) and BENJAMIN STAMBOULI. Baby frenchmen are the best!! I say kickette, put him on the radar!

  52. Sookie says:

    Fer Torres has to be on the list. Or straight to HHoF please. Thank you.

  53. Grey says:

    LOL at all these Torres-anti trolling here.

  54. Grey says:

    Put FT9 on the list please!

  55. Krystal says:

    Gareth Bale, Scott Parker or Fernando Torres. Come. On.

  56. Sherry says:

    Nando, Ibra, Benzema (yum) or Pique. And out with KBP please!

  57. lovelondon says:

    Fernando Torres…put him on this list now and never take him out!

  58. JenC says:

    Ma Ma Ma Ma Marioooooo Gomeeeezzz

    Silly Mario: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-UVxl3JlOo

    Sexy Mario: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwyrisdGZMs&fe…

    Dorky Mario: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8_FcjJXPzM

    Oh La La Mario: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXES6HvRVgM

    Ma Ma Ma Ma Maaattss Hummellsssss

    Suave Mr.Hummels speaking perfect English. This is all you need peeps. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuYrDGGxFLQ

    I rest my case. :D

    • German_Girl says:

      Nice! :D

      • German_Girl says:

        By the way…ever since I opened my Intense Debate account, every time I post a comment, it immediately goes to one thumb up. Why is that? I hope people don't think I'm giving myself thumbs up, lol!

    • tottenhams_bale says:

      A+ post, would watch again (and again)

      (and again)

    • Kristina says:

      And what a case you have! Thank you! I agree, agree, agree!

  59. just_jenni says:

    It's extremely difficult to pick a 5th, isn't it? All the suggestions above are good ones, but might I add Radamel Falcao to the list? Brilliant smile, perfect body and gleaming black hair all doing it for me.

  60. Tammy says:

    Torres´ sexy back deserves to be on the list!

  61. Carina says:

    What about "pretty freckles" Torres for the 5th place? He´s body is sexy too and he´s a gorgeous man, father and husband.

  62. Catie2838 says:

    RAMOS!!!! Finally!! I don't even care who you stick in the 5th spot Kickette, I'm just happy you finally included Ramos!

  63. Mümü says:

    Fernando Torres for the fifth spot please!

  64. elena4 says:

    Welcome, Sergio. You are finally where you deserve to be. :-D

  65. Lizzie says:

    Chris Pontius is 6'0" and definitely has nice abs! He recently tweeted a pic worth consideration http://instagram.com/p/Mo1v3oOevv/

  66. Liucy says:

    Mats Hummels! This list is perfection! Bravo!!!!

  67. Tina says:

    FERNANDO TORRES absolutely should be number five! The golden boot, the golden hair, the golden skin, the freckles, the bitchface, the smile… and all the other parts!! :D

  68. Ava says:

    Mario Gomeeez, Mario Gomeeeez, Mario Gomeeeeeez, CHA CHA.

  69. Agnes Wonka says:

    alright! there's a place for CR7! xDD

  70. Letty says:

    I am truly suprised that no one has mentioned XABI ALONSO!!!!! Hello perfection all around! That is a beautiful, hot, sexy, attrative, ect. man. But if that isnt your cup of tea then i would totally pick daddy to be Pique, or Cristiano, but my fav would be TORRES, omg that bitch face of his is just truly beautiful!

  71. a2a says:

    I MUST insist that you add Pablo Daniel Osvaldo. He is gorgeous. And because I recently was able to get a picture with him, I can tell you up close he is phenomenal and he smells fantastic. Yes ladies, I was that close.

  72. Harley says:

    Stuart Holden would make a nice addition. Funny, gorgeous, and a total sweetheart. What's not to love?

  73. hbandshbreak says:

    Thrilled to see The Ramos finally recognized. I would give the 5th spot to Nando or if you want a lesser known tasty treat, how's about my little bon bon, Benjamin Stambouli? http://headbandsandheartbreak.files.wordpress.com…

  74. Teresa says:

    I'm very sad, Why no Italian players!!! :( Italy have so many (I would say the most!) handsome men, Buffon, Bonucci, Barzagli, De Rossi… and so many more but just having to go with the ones that could be added because of the 6ft or over thing! But without that also Borini, Marchisio and I will always love Pirlo! :) ;)

    • Granablau says:

      IA with every single one of them (esp. De Rossi, he's my fav)! Oh what I would give to be a physio for the Italian NT… in addition I would add Balzaretti (he's gorgeous with his hair down), and Nocerino, though neither fit the height requirement. Also who could forget classics Del Piero and Nesta? I'm surprised neither have ever made any FF list. And then Pazzini, Ranocchia, etc… we could seriously make a FF list only made up of Italians!

      • Teresa says:

        I'm so happy that you are with me here! :D You are so right about Balzaretti, I don't think that I even knew how hot he was!!! I love Nocerino too and I forgot about Pazzini and Ranocchia! We should totally do a list of Italians… and try to get a job doing something for them haha! ;)

  75. YoungChelsea says:

    Sergio needs his own category tbh

  76. Lizzie says:

    Cristiano Ronaldo is missing!

    That man is a piece of art. Seriously now!

    Yay Sergio!!! <3

  77. Nature says:

    Time for Torres to shine Please Kickette i mean from the freckles to the ass to the abs need i say more.
    Make This Happen Please.

  78. Moxie says:

    Fernando Torres, no question! Did you see how golden his skin was looking when Chelsea played in Miami last weekend? As if the freckles weren't enough, to see them lightly tanned really seals the deal!

  79. Tashinka says:

    Nice description! And, heck yeah!

  80. koki says:

    from a neutral person (not RM or Manuinted fan) i think C.ronaldo should be instead of Boateng?! ditching his personality , he has a handsome face and a good body,so whats wrong?!

    as for 5# place,in my opinion it should be Joe Hart , Mat Hummels or G.Buffon.

    Adios ;)

  81. Charlie Goon says:

    Oh My Gosh! Giroud! How insanely HAPPY am I that he’s a Gunner! Hot HoTT HOTT!!
    RAMOS! Hell Yeah! Now that he’s cut his hair, He’s Beyond Edibly Sexy!! *dies drooling*
    Even Im over Cesc, which says A LOT!!
    Kickette, why do u over look Pique though? And the hottness that is Daniel Agger?? Why?
    Otherwise I love this list!

  82. Vic_R says:

    Damn, but reading through the comments, I would have to agree with Mario Gomez. And Mats. Oh, Vermaelen would look fine on the list as well. And shoutout to Bartra as well. Ugh the boy is foine. Too many sexy ballers, too little time. I salute you Kickette for being able to sort everything out

  83. LizzyHS90 says:

    #3 should be off and Adil Rami (calendar pic!)and Mats Hummels should be added. Lance should have stayed. No CRon because he leaves JR for more then a week to go on vacation and that isn't hot imo.

  84. Sophie says:

    Not a fan of the K-PB inclusion much like some of the other girls here…
    As for the fifth spot, I echo nominations of Aaron Ramsey! He is just so adorable! And he makes the cutest frustrated faces when he's playing. So, even though he's not six feet…
    Alternatively, Manuel Neuer!! The man is six feet five inches of perfection. And I saw a video a while back of him and his German NT teammates cooking and something about it just made me swoon. The look of concentration on his face when checking his filet of fish, the thought of men cooking, it's just perfect.

  85. Vic_R says:

    Why do you have to put Giroud and his magnificent penis first? Oh you kill me, Kickette ;~; As a Gooner I stand proud that he (and his penis) is in our team now. The man is truly beautiful.
    Although I’m all over Cescy, but I have to agree. He hasn’t been committing to his reputation as an F5.
    I’m down with Sergio and Boca (oh Boca~) but Boateng? Seriouslyy? I vote him out.
    And for the final spot, might I suggest some Italian meat. Claudio Marchisio anyone?
    My heart is saying “suggest Aaron Ramsey” but I want to keep him to myself ;)

  86. mander says:

    can we have some MLS love? Chris Pontius please!

  87. Kate says:

    Reading all the comments, I kept thinking, "Everyone is asking for Cristiano Ronaldo on the Finest 5, but he's already in the Hot Hall of Fame, right?" Apparently, that is not true. This just shattered my whole universe.

    • SillyGoat says:

      Agreed!! Crissy has been a very dirty boy, but he's gorgeous. He needs to be in the Hot Hall of Fame.

  88. Caroline says:

    All this uproar points at how we need lists in categories!! And/or/definitely a Kickette award show. Think of the possibilities! No six-pack is created equal! *pounds gavel*

  89. Carolina says:

    NANDO TORRES POR FAVOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  90. German_Girl says:

    Wow, this thread is still going…

    I would like to submit this: http://www.gala.de/asset/Image/2012/artikel/kw23/…

    and this: http://intouch.wunderweib.de/media/redaktionell/w…

    Isn't it about time you added a German player? ;)

    • SillyGoat says:

      German_Girl, you are a very loyal Mario Gomez adorer. Although I don't find his face attractive, kickette, you've should make Mario the last Finest Five. His supporters deserve it. Mario for fünf!

      • German_Girl says:


        Well, I said if I can't have Mario, I'll settle for Mats, so I don't think I'm being unreasonable. ;)

        But seriously, it's not just Mario's looks I find appealling – he comes across as such a lovely person. Like when he said all gay footballers should be able to 'come out' and feel comfortable about it.

        • SillyGoat says:

          Ohhhhh Mats is gorgeous. I'd get behind Mats for Finest Five as well as Mario.

          Haha, German_Girl, I don't think that Mats or Mario selection is unreasonable at all. I'm all for having a German on Finest Five.

          • German_Girl says:

            Maybe we should just have a Finest Five for each country. (Did somebody else suggest that before? Can't remember)

            Or at least have a Finest Ten, because clearly with just five ballers you can't keep everyone happy. :)

      • JenC says:

        You probably don't find Gomez attractive as I don't find Torres attractive :) But Mario really deserves the spot IMO, not just for his fans, but for the lovely person he is :) .

  91. Dr. Heidi says:

    Oh Sergio, you beautiful beast……how I would love a hug from those beautiful arms of yours… *ahhhhhh*

  92. Marion says:

    Joe Hart/Nicklas Bendtner/Manuel Neuer. So tall, so good, so sexy. Mats Hummels can do it too. How about Gerard Pique? He's tall and he's handsome too. As for Fabregas, ever since he moved to Barcelona and hooked up with Daniella, he's somehow not adorable anymore. He used to be irresistibly cute.

  93. Marion says:

    Right! Nicklas Bendtner! Why didn't i think of him earlier!

  94. Mary says:

    Cristiano needs to be on this list. There is no universe in which Boateng is hotter.

  95. Skein to says:

    Excellent addition of Sergio Ramos! The man likes to style (re:overly coifed hair). But that is also what makes him adorable. He is his own man. Coifed or not! Carlos Bocanegra is so crazy gorgeous. One suggestion for #5: Mats Hummel! Gorgeous!

  96. Clare says:

    Umm, Mario Gomez obviously. Is it even up for discussion!?
    But yay, Sergio Ramos made the list finally! :)

  97. Holly says:

    I agree with the folks questioning KPB's inclusion… I don't see it. Would be happy to have others happy with Nando added.

    Wondering if one retired baller might be recognized? To support aging gracefully and with dignity.

    Or Del Piero?

  98. RamseyPublicist says:

    From the former FabregasPublicist:
    Even though I left him because he's making my job a living hell, I still feel sad for the exclusion of Cesc in the list. i think this has got to do with that Daniella girl. (She really is ruining everything! Argh!)
    But I'm an ever-optimistic person. I think Cesc's exclusion from the F5 means promotion to the HHoF. Paging Vanessa again. Where are we now on this topic?
    Anyways, that last requirement ticked me off. 6'0? Really? A lot of hot players are below 6'0. For example, my new client Aaron Ramsey (He was so hot when he's quite agitated in the GBRvsUAE match). Mario Gotze and even Cesc are below 6 feet. These men compensate the lack of height with good looks, hot bodies, and amazing talent.
    But if you insist, I'm willing to put Nicklas Bendtner for that final slot. Bad boys are something for me. Hahaha!

  99. FT9 says:

    Fernando Torres should be on the list!

  100. Jenni says:

    Gomez or Hummels, or both together, please… God I think need a small lie down…

  101. LittleBerba says:

    Awww, c'mon kickette!! If we're talking abs, have you already forgotten about Javi Martinez's underwear shoot?? :(

  102. blake2108 says:

    Not quite 6ft but his beauty makes up for it – Aaron Ramsey.

    If not, then Gareth Bale.

  103. Cali says:

    It is very clear that Fernando Torres needs to be #5 on this list. Listen, I'm not even a raging Fernando fangirl at heart. My feeling is, if anyone is going to be the beautiful, sensitive, moody one in the relationship, it had better be me! I am mentioning this so you will realize my motives are objective(ish).

    The fact of the matter is simply this: The man has an a$$ like a poem. He is a work of art.

  104. Mumtaz says:

    Glad to know that Fabregas is out of the list. For the fifth? At my first reading, I thought there'd be Torres, Gomez & Hummels, but well… none of em are there :( (

  105. Lizzie says:

    Didnt see the height restriction..Joe Hart or Edin Dzeko then :)

  106. :))) says:

    I wonder why noone has mentioned Danny Agger. He's so freaking cute.

  107. Simran says:

    Definitely Mario Gomez – he’s got the looks, the personality, he’s absolutely hilarious and he has the best body! What more could a girl ask for?
    Failing that, I’m an Italy fan so every time I’ve seen Claudio Marchisio I have been undressing him with my eyes, hehehehe or Daniele De Rossi – I’ve ‘been in love’ with him for sucha long time now.
    Or Luca Toni. Or Francesco Totti – NO TOTTI, NO PARTY. Or Alessandro Matri. Or Kaka. Or Alexandre Pato. Or Edinson Cavani.
    I’d be quite happy with any of the above.

  108. Poolie says:

    First of all, thank you for the reboot! Giroud is the heaven's gift to the universe.

    Captain Aaron Ramsey would like to proudly represent Wales here. Good boys will gladly settle for the fifth spot. :)

  109. Klaus says:

    Where are the Germans? Neuer has a perfect backside and he’s a man-tree!

    Consider Llorente as well, another tree we’d all love to climb.

    And lastly, i think Aaron Ramsey would be nice. :)

    Merci beaucoup!

  110. Marion says:

    First of all, dropping Sex Fabregas from the list and putting The Ramos there are briliant! You are good at this Kickette!
    Olivier Giroud at number one? Couldn’t be righter!
    Secondly, I was wondering why is Joe Hart not on thelist? Isn’t he sexy enough in red?
    As for the vacant fifth spot, I find it hard to decide who’s worthy as well. But if I have to choose, I think Robin van Persie will do it. He’s cute, he’s good, and he’s a good father!
    Maybe you could make the Cutest Five for ballers’ bubbas? Shaqueel van Persie should be on number one and Leo Torres number two!

  111. cloudy says:

    Javi Martinez for F5!!!!

  112. micky says:

    Dear Kickettes, why is Boateng on the list? He´s so eeeewww and he was making out with the german trash queen Gina Lisa.

    I think, Fernando Torres should be third and Mats Hummels fifth.

  113. Jas says:

    Holger Badstuber!!!! Seriously people need to look at him and see how beautiful he is!!! Or Mario Gomez or Ronaldo!!!

  114. Karen says:

    Xabi Alonso. He needs to be there.

  115. May says:

    Fernando Torres!!!!

  116. Selena says:

    I suggest you take a look at Cristiano's St. Tropez vacation pics again, Kickettes. It's unfair for the hottest bod in the business to not be on any of those lists for so long…

  117. Johanna says:

    Cristiano Ronaldo deserves to be on that list, let alone the HHOF.

  118. lucy says:


  119. earidurt says:

    boateng does NOT belong here! sorry. happy to see sergio has finally been recognised…long overdue really. bocanegra, giroud are hotties, no complaints. vacant spot should go to a spaniard…perhaps llorente? aitor ocio?

  120. Ash Menon says:

    On a new note, that top image is begging to be my FB cover image.

  121. Ash Menon says:

    The Ramos! Finally my sexy centaur takes his rightful place.

  122. giulia says:

    FERNANDO TORRES! FORGIVE THE HAIR! HIS FACE IS TOO GORGEOUS TO BE IGNORED! and if you say you don't love his freckles, honey, you're lying through your teeth ;)

  123. LEB says:

    Anders Lindegaard!

  124. KL7 says:

    I gotta say Cristiano Ronaldo is the finest man around. The body, the smile, and the swagger….Noone does it better!!!

  125. Julie says:

    Mario Gomez! Remember that butt picture you posted a few months ago? Just saying…

  126. Dr. Heidi says:

    C'mon Ramos, throw us a 'bone' – and the double entrendre is intentional…..give us something to move you to #1

  127. ash says:


  128. Granablau says:

    No one has said Daniele De Rossi? Wow, am I alone here?! I think he's flawless and I'd pick him over any of the other guys on the list.

  129. carla says:

    YAY SERGIOOOOOOOO. I think he should be no.1…..but we still need NANDO!!! THIS LIST NEEDS SERNANDO.

  130. MsLiverpoolLady says:

    Fernando Torres please!

  131. vickyrod says:

    Gerard Pique!

  132. Shout out for Dan Agger, Martin Kelly and Esteban Granero :)

  133. jecca says:

    If we’re going German, I vote for Hummels. And I’m all over Claudio Marchisio right now.

  134. Sima says:

    mmm ok i understand that he's not everyone's favourite and he might be hated more than love but can you check up those things and tell me why isnt he so good to be here ?

    all 2011-2012

  135. camille says:

    damn, knew every one but olivier
    idk if i sholud be proud or ashamed

  136. missfootie says:

    Boating does have cool tattoos but why is he there?????????
    I would have Mr Torres in that list any day!!!!!!!!

  137. Jess says:

    Ew why Kevin Prince?
    NANDO TORRES FOR THE 5th!!!!!!

  138. April says:

    If we're just talking bodies, David Luiz is in with a good shout. His body is perfect.

  139. lima says:

    R.kaka' / Fernando llorante / C.Ronaldo

  140. Nila says:

    Why are you even making this question?? Mr sex, Mario Gomez, of course!!

  141. Kristine says:

    It's about time you put Sergio on this list! He deserves to be #1 but, we'll take it! Now, if we can only get him to parade around naked he would surely shoot to #1! Anyway..I like this list. I would put Boca before Boateng though.
    For #5.. Maybe Llorente, Hummels or as someone else suggested, Neymar. He is a cutie patootie.

    Oh, and just for the record..Sergio's body IS THE BEST! Perfectly proportioned. Yum.

  142. Matilda says:

    Definitely missing Mario Gomez! Probably the most handsome footballers at the moment!

  143. Aianna says:


  144. Caitlin says:

    Sergio!! Finally.

  145. Leya_S says:

    Also, Kickette, I think you're missing a F5 iteration in the links! There was DEFINITELY a time that Joe Hart AND Pepe Reina were on the list, however brief…

  146. Leya_S says:

    YAY!! EL RAMOS RETURNS! Now I can start petitioning for his HHoF status, lol.
    He really has been workin it as of late, I must say. He's embracing his GQMF potential we've always known he's had.

    Last spot, as many have said, DEF belongs to MARIO GOMEZ…beautiful.

  147. jacky says:

    Gomez has a nice body, but his face is ugly. No FF-spot please.

    • Kristine says:

      Agreed! Ick.

    • JenC says:

      I can say the same for Torres :p

      • Lola says:

        Wow I'd never seen anyone saying anything bad about Torres face. Your entitled to your opinion of course, but that's a new one for me lol.

    • Kristina says:

      I guess that's why Hugo Boss choose him… Seriously, he's so fine it's a crime that his not on the list. But I think that the lovely ladies from Kickette has a soft spot for him, so I wouldn't be surprised if he turned up.

  148. IrishBlue says:

    In my eyes that 5th spot belongs to Ricky Van Wolfswinkel who has been the subject of all my dirty daydreams for quite some time now but……

    I think that Mr. Gomez is gonna win this one out, deservedly so too. Could Fernando Llorente be in with a shot? Both these men are beyond delicious.

    Mentions also go to: Muller, Bale, Ramsey, Hummels, Veloso, Tello aaaand Matieu Debuchy!! Hott!!!!!!!!

    Failing that, I suggest forcing Ryan Lochte to wear a football jersey and sticking him in the Finest 5. Breaking the rules, yes. But so totally worth it!

  149. lydia says:

    I just don't get Carlos…. And KPB? Whaaat?
    On another note, the vacant spot should mos' def go to Mr. Sexy himself, Mario Gomez. That man is like a Euro vacay personified, German AND Spanish! Mmmmm!

  150. Amber says:

    For reasons of objectification this list is flaw free. I'd personally list a bit different (sergio, carlos, olivier, boateng) but I can't really complain about this list. Total up grade from the last F5

  151. mina says:

    What the hell ist Boateng doing on that list???

  152. nurina says:

    I can´t believe, dear kickettes, that you are ignoring Mr. Torres. Are you all bitter Liverpoolfans? It seems so.

    He´s beautiful, sexy, handsome, nice, a great father and husband and at least he won a Golden Boot at Euros.

    What has he done to you?

    Btw. I´m glad, The Ramos is on and Cesc off.

    • Jess says:

      Agreed! Buh bye to Cesc (he looks like an angry bird…..as in the angry bird games)

  153. April says:

    Glad to see that Ramos has made his way to the list. I think his haircut and seemingly more "mature" look have definitely earned him that spot. He sort of takes over where Boriello left off.

    It's hopeless, I know, but I'm always going to root for this man on the right (and his recent bouts of shirtlessness): http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7s7hbphm51qftb…
    If he keeps taking these photos where I get to pretend he's naked because I can't really see his shorts, I am just going to have to approve.

  154. bri_saldana says:

    Hallelujah! Vamos RAMOS! whooooo hooooo :D

  155. HiL says:

    Mats Hummels or Mario Gomez!

  156. tuna says:

    it may be weird but Alvaro Morata is so fiiiine

  157. Annie says:

    V-line !!!! I can't help it the best v-line has OLIVIER GIROUD .So he's fairly the number one.

  158. Kate says:

    I'd suggest Neymar as eye candy for the younger Kickettes. ;)

  159. Jayy says:

    Can we have a Finest Fifteen instead? It would make life so much easier and no threats would be made! :P
    Sex on legs Ramsey, Gomez, Bartra, Kelly, Hart, Hummels, Higuain, Tello, Llorente, Koscielny and finally, Thiago all should be added.
    11 options for you there. Enough to make a finest fifteen and keep us girls happy!
    Nuff said.

  160. mimi says:


  161. Dr. Heidi says:

    Now what would Sergio have to do to capture the #1 spot….oh where the mind can wander…..just YUM…..

  162. spider_orchid says:

    Benzema, Higuain, or Albiol for the fifth seat. I'm happy with either one.

  163. tuna says:

    kickette is a tattoo lover ;)

  164. German_Girl says:

    Mario Gomez please. Or, failing that, Mats Hummels. :)

  165. Elizabeth says:

    Mr Ramos did go (in my personal opinion) from a no go (long hair) to a number 1(mr iceman) in 2 months…. which why it aint a surprise he is your number two…. and I can not really debate a number one position for a guy who is not ashamed to walk around naked when there is a camera around :-) But seriously…. so much hotness on the field (XABI ALONSO!!) and NO number 5….. Not possible……so please…. mr Xabi Alonso for 5…..

  166. Zareen says:

    Sergio should be number one! But the fifth spot should at least be Fernando Torres!

  167. Erin says:

    Seriously, Joe Hart needs to start doing some naked mag covers or candids so he can get on this list!!! He is not to be ignored!!

  168. Dr. Heidi says:

    #2 for Ramos?????? Okay, I'll take it….at least he's on the list finally!

    • Dr. Heidi says:

      Now what would he have to do to move to #1……oh where the mind can wander…..

  169. Kristine says:

    About damn time Sergio was was put on this list! #2? should be #1 but, we’ll take it.
    The rest of the list I can actually dig for once. Not sure who to pick for #5, that Mats Hummels boy is a hottie..
    Oh,and Sergio has THE BEST body. Perfect proportion.

  170. marie says:


  171. Kate says:

    I love this list! Fantastic. Best Finest 5 yet. All it needs is #5: Aaron Ramsey. He's 6'0", and he's sex on legs. What else do you need?

  172. craycray says:

    And Marc Bartra just meets the height restriction – boy so pretty: https://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=marc+…

  173. craycray says:

    I didn't see 6’0” height restriction! In that case, just Javi Martinez/Gerard Pique, please. PLEASE.

  174. Americus Killaponius says:


    But seriously I think we can all agree on Mario Gomez deserving the last spot.

  175. Sophie24 says:

    Giroud ………… Wow he's gorgeous and totally agree with Cesc being shifted out of the F5, He just doesn't do it for me anymore either. Oh and Aaron Ramsey for the fifth spot please.

    • BHN says:

      YES!! RamSEEY!! =D
      Or a any of the German players from Mario Gomez to Badstauber. =)

  176. rubii says:


    cristiano ronaldo latest training session
    i think he deserves that spot :) just saying.

  177. :))) says:

    Simon Kjaer :) Just look at this picture.

    • chay says:

      Woo woo woo! I would totally agree. Love me some blond Danes! More my type than the Serg of RM fame, although Serg has really done himself well to cut that hair.

  178. Harley says:

    I propose the fifth spot goes to either Mario Gomez, Holger Badstuber, Lars Bender, or Mario Gotze. There is just something about the German boys that makes them irresistible. What do they put in the water over there?

    • Elizabeth says:

      Guess you have never been on holidays in germany…. besides those few names on the field, I have never seen something appetizing in the wild…..

  179. Tashinka says:

    Setting the height limit at 6 feet 0 inches restricts a lot of 'ballers from the list… but if you go with tall guys my money's on Pique or Ibra.

    What can I say, I'm a traditionalist! :)

    • chay says:

      Tall! Yum! I <3 Ibra–that NOSE!

      And another tall one that most of Kickettes love to hate: Andy Carroll. I think he is hot as hell, despite his troubles. I would climb on his body like a jungle gym!

  180. Americus Killaponius says:


    Now. Mario Gomez is going to be the obvious best person for this list. Nobody will complain if you put him on there.

  181. xoWinnie says:

    guys, this is seriously the sexiest FF in a looooooooooonnnggg time! *sheds tear*

  182. KICKETTE. I suggest Sergio Canales or Marc Bartra.

  183. Goja says:

    Aaaah Ramos <3
    For me, he can take also the fifth place!

  184. Jenny says:

    Martin Kelly definitley!!!

  185. cesc lover says:

    Oh shittt! Cesc is my one true love </3

  186. spv58 says:

    No questions asked, it simply HAS to be Mario Gomez!

  187. bebbuxa says:

    LARS UNNERSTALL!!! there has to be a blonde guy in the finest five, and who's better than him for that last spot? ;)

  188. spv58 says:

    No questions asked, Kickette, it simply HAS to be Mario Gomez!

  189. stargirl says:

    Mario Gomez all the way

  190. stargirl_candy says:

    Please Put Mario Gomez hottest guy around. He gets my vote!!!!!

  191. Anna says:

    OUI for Giroud and Boateng, SR oui mais vous nous fatiguez avec lui! le reste on s'ent fou un peu lol

  192. Joanna says:

    DDR! (with the strict condition he stays at Roma)

  193. Dee says:

    Also I never stop looking at Ibrahim Afellay. I'll take him to round out the Finest Five.

  194. Evvo says:

    Aaron Ramsey is missing!

  195. Mina says:

    I’m absolutely satisfied with those 4 hotties, but you should add a hot German!I think of Maro “mr.hip dips” Gomez or Mats Hummels, (not just because I’m German) that would be perfect! :)

  196. Danielle says:

    Benz Benz Benzema!!!

  197. Phédre says:

    The Ramos! Finally!

  198. Dee says:

    SHOUT OUT FOR DAVID SILVA. Have you seen the boy without his shirt? Beautiful.

  199. gin_in_teacups says:

    Sergio is on the list and all is right in the world! Well, I mean he really should be at the no. 1 spot, but hey, he has that spot in my heart. Which is what should matter to him, I'm sure.

  200. La Habanera says:

    Note: Carlos Bocanegra is from my high school . . . Alta Loma High School, located in the Inland Empire (the I.E. yo'!), San Bernardino County, California. I swear that my favorite Mexican bakery in the next town over had something to do with his family since it was called La Bocanegra Bakery. I will solve the mystery! ~ La Habanera, Devil-Ettes

  201. Mel_G says:

    Mario Gooooooooooomez – who else?!

  202. craycray says:

    Sergio Aguero, Javi Martinez and Gerard Pique HAVE to be on this list; it'd be immoral to leave them out. Immoral.

  203. @mezz98 says:

    Woo hoo! Giroud!

  204. xoWinnie says:

    FINALLY! Sergio has been re-instated to his rightful position in the FF! Next stop, Hot H.O.F.
    and on an even brighter note, overrated Fabregas has been given the boot! oh, blessed day! :-D

    I'd want one of my Arsenal bbs like Walcott and Wilks in the fifth spot, just because, but when it comes down to it, everyone here knows what Í'm going to say lol: Joe Hart FTW!

  205. Lizzie says:

    Sergio Aguero, Joe Hart or Edin Dzeko