September 17th, 2010

The Friday Fit: Tim Howard Gets Naked For ESPN The Magazine

We did try, Kickettes.

We did try to upload Everton’s Tim Howard (and his strategically placed football gloves) to the site in a larger size. 8MB, to be exact. Sadly, it would appear our server couldn’t quite take that level of manflesh and collapsed. It’s still shaking and twitching now, actually.*

Still, thanks to the good folks at ESPN The Magazine (who have already so kindly provided wondrous photos such as this inside their Noble Prize deserving The Body issue), we can offer you this moderately click-to-zoom size pic of one damn fine American Boy.

*Okay, it’s also possible we blew up the site trying to add a new page about our commenting guidelines. Could it be that our internet skills are about as functional as Cristiano Ronaldo’s new haircut? Perhaps. But it feels better to blame Tim’s epic junk, no?

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86 Responses to “The Friday Fit: Tim Howard Gets Naked For ESPN The Magazine”

  1. sahil says:

    he actually have a great body..


  3. C.T. says:


  4. @DebStimson says:

    idk but just the fact that they have a soccer player on it is an accomplishment.

  5. VS1986 says:

    GOD BLESS AMERICA! …and apparently Tim Howard 'cuz DAMN! Look @ his goods!!!!!! I can't stop staring :)

  6. london2434 says:

    i don't smoke, but i def need a ciggy. tim howard, you are one beautiful man. *hand fan fanning rapidly*

  7. Blackwood says:

    wake me up when Romero does this kind of photoshoot. But maybe without the gloves, although most of the time I think they're kind of sexy.

  8. cherryboomboom says:

    Damn his gloves are sexy

  9. Lex says:

    I'm finding it quite difficult to put together a coherent thought right now…..I can't stop staring at his…..everything…..gaaaaaah.

  10. elylovesfootball says:

    Oh dear jesus! i can't stop looking at the gloves cause it was better if they weren't there..
    he is one sexy man fer sure

  11. antidope says:

    Girls are weird… just because he is skinny, doesnt have hair, got tattoos and is naked….

  12. mrs. timmy says:

    unf unf unf

  13. DeeRoma says:

    Ooooh I'm with you there.

  14. GracieB says:

    OMG – All I can say is where can I buy that!!!!

  15. Ninjess says:

    As yummy as it is, I feel like photoshoots like this are why soccer is not considered a legitimate sport in the US. ESPN needs to give footie some legitimate coverage before an *ahem* bare-all article. You have a readership that's primarily (though certainly not exclusively) men dying for more news about sports, and you show a naked man? It's no wonder there are so many American guys who think soccer isn't a "manly" sport. Love ya, Timmy, but you didn't do anything to promote your sport to your fellow Yank men, here.

    With that said, I'm now off to see if looking at the photo from a different angle can eliminate the blockage by that pesky glove.

    • caitanya says:

      Re why North American men don't think soccer/futbol is a "manly" sport has to do with something other than hot half-naked footballers posing in their magazines. North American men are threatened by a lot of things, the biggest one being their own sexuality. Anyone who is healthy wouldn't care about seeing a half-naked man or woman, no matter their sexual preference. Just my two-cents' worth on your response.

      But hot damn this picture! I wish he had some hair on his head though–just my preference :-)

    • @DebStimson says:

      Exactly! Seriously…have you tried to find any magazines that have ANY thing to do with soccer? Non-existant! :(

  16. Maribel says:

    God bless the USA.

  17. bri_saldana says:

    Tim is gorgeous! Hard to be picky about the tats or baldness…his eyes and that body are CRAZY HOT!

  18. EternalDreamer says:

    I just can't stop looking.

  19. Tina1025 says:

    That is one outrageously hot body. But that damn glove needs to get out of the way.

  20. Mrs.Navas says:

    Father forgive me for i have sinned!!!!!!!!!!!! my gosh he is hot!!!!

  21. Canederli says:

    Lord have mercy!

  22. @aristeia says:

    Timmy freaking Howard. *sweats*

  23. Lisa In NC says:

    My son is a keeper, and this is his hero. As you can imagine, I have nooooooo problem with that. Nope, none whatsoever. Wow.

  24. ToffeeGirl17 says:

    Oh my god, I have just taken loving Everton to a whole other level. You need to take your stuff off more often! Stop leaving Cahill to do it all. That is so cute! He has his son's name -Jacob- on his chest close to his heart. I love him! *hugs Howard* You are an awesome man and goalie! Keep saving those goals for us!

  25. JVD says:

    The only issue of ESPN the Magazine worth reading. Thanks Tim.

  26. Leah says:

    My mother texted me the link to this picture this morning.. What a glorious thing to wake up to.

  27. CrazyforNando says:

    Well done, Timmy!! What a fine looking man! Next up… Pepe! Let's go take it off!

  28. BarceLisa says:

    I'm not a big fan of tattoos but when they are exceeded by flesh, tattoos somehow add to the hotness.

    Timmy's eyes have always been my favorite part of him but his eyes are the last thing I am looking at here!

    I couldn't imagine if Victor Valdes, Pepe Reina or Iker did this. I would need an ice bath for an entire week.

    • DeeRoma says:

      For me, tattoos depend on two things…the type of tattoos and the person they're on.

      • BarceLisa says:

        I agree. Men take the tattoo thing too far but what you said is so true. It also helps that Timmy has a beautiful body and skin to show off said tattoos.

        • DeeRoma says:

          Exactly. Usually, I'm not a fan of arm sleeve tattoos. But only on 1 certain player, it works for me.

    • Liz says:

      They certainly do :p

      Very manly photo, I'm not normally a fan of his :D

    • Pique_Xavi says:

      I'd pay for VV posing for something like this. As for the tats well guys can get pretty weird about them. I had a bf who had a 3inch "crossing man" on his right hip bone. It was a turnoff for me. And I don't like those birds or the stars on men. That's just me though. Not sure how I noticed this but his shadow creeped me out.

    • Kat says:

      the tattoos are working for sergio ramoss and timmm!!

  29. Violets says:

    Saint Timmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His wife is a damn lucky woman.

    Also, most likely the shadow is off due to the positioning of the light off-camera (photo-nerd here), not because of photoshop shenanigans.

  30. Leya says:

    So I originally intended to leave a comment about 15 minutes ago, but I was at such a loss for words at this pic that all I could do was stare and incoherently mumble something about Tim Howard's wife meeting a tragic end…

  31. senora ramos says:

    OH MY EFFING…….timmay, just….DAMN.

    who's with me on playing the gold cup like this next summer?! oct may cause…shrinkage.

  32. Gigi6982 says:

    I feel like there needs to be more matches played with less clothes. Only differenciate based on, short short color, socks and shoes. Maybe just use a marker to put the number on the player each game. *goes of into dreamland*

  33. Any says:

    I've always been opposed to goalkeepers gloves. This photo is going into evidence that they should be banned for all time.

  34. PepaCandela says:

    U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!

    (oh and the shadows are weird bc the studio lights are coming from different directions)

  35. beckii says:

    also, loving the new layout, well done kickette! :)

  36. beckii says:

    what is with the shadow, and his legs compared to his chest doesnt look in proportion!?

  37. Chavete says:

    oh yeah & where do i subscribe to this magazine?! lol

  38. Chavete says:

    OMG Kickette, I had such a horrible day yesterday! & now i wake up to this, THANK YOU KICKETTE!!!! I can always count on you :)

  39. He never looked like that when he played for us. :S

  40. Kare says:

    Pepe Reina, the gauntlet has been thrown.

  41. LuvinBale says:

    WHOA!!!!!!!!! That definitely makes for a happy Friday!!!! Now all I need is a giant margarita and a life size version of this photo and I'm all goooood.

    Thank You Kickette- you have truly made a crappy Friday all that much better.

  42. Whitney says:

    Yay! I love to see some of the American boys on Kickette!

  43. DeeRoma says:

    I wonder how it works on allergies and sinuses.

  44. DeeRoma says:

    Oh my my.

    I didn't even notice the shadow. My mind only has one track. It was all on Tim. God bless.

  45. RedAne says:

    MORRI !!!!!!
    That means "I died" in Portuguese.
    And that's all I gotta say.

  46. littlegirl says:

    not bad but …he is bald,he has got too many tatoos…nothing…i'm waiting for the next friday fit!
    don't hate me please! : )

    • Georgina Sanders says:

      Not at all girl, we agree on this. The bod is lickable (if this is even a word) but too much tats on skin is sooo not okay for me as well. :-)

      Minus the body drawings, good job Kickette for bringing us this specimen of a man!

      • littlegirl says:

        thanks georgina! i think "lickable" has begun a word after the opening of this site….
        (and now i hope Torres stops with tatoos…naaah,he i can do whatever he wants, he will remain perfect!)

        • littlegirl says:

          "became"…not "begun"…please forgive me!
          i'm italian, and this two verbs are near in the list of irregular verbs that we study at school!

          in this way:
          be- was- been
          become -became -become
          begin -began- begun

  47. hereforthenando says:

    I was so upset when I went to Kickette and not an ab or a hip dip could be found; only a sad face. I'm so glad it's back, you really don't appreciate something until it's gone. I've always appreciated Kickette a little too much, but now, it's straight up love.

  48. hereforthenando says:

    OH MY GOD KICKETTE. He is going to make an Everton fan out of me. And as a Liverpool fan, that is saying an awful lot.

    • gin_in_teacups says:

      You and me both, babe. It is my secret Liverpool shame – I just can not hate on Everton, and I have Tim to thank for that.

  49. Oh my lord, that is one fine specimen of manliness. The shadows are cast by his glove, not his junk. He has that well covered I believe. We might try lobbing a ball his way and making Tim save our attempt on goal.

  50. Cindy says:

    i want to lick him. he is delicious.

  51. Achi says:

    Is that true or just another edited-pic?

  52. rslkdl says:

    Seems big enough to me. Sweet Jesus.

    And yes, the shadow is really weird! LOL

  53. tammyv says:

    Good god almighty! AMEN

  54. @amia_arsino says:

    oh my goodness. not complaining about the size, not at all!!!!

  55. lonelySTARSHINE says:

    The shadow looks weird…

  56. Sahar says:

    Tim Howard doesn't do it for me. I don't know I must be crazy. Also I think this is really photoshopped because I remember seeing a picture of him without his shirt off and video footage and I don't think he was this sculpted. Then again I could be wrong.