November 26th, 2010

The Friday Fit: Victor Valdes, Barcelona


There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can pose for a photograph, and those who cannot.

Barcelona keeper shirtlessFor the good folks who suffer from photo panic attacks and can’t “smize” to save their lives, let’s take a few lessons from Mr. Victor Valdes. Boy knows pose.

Actually, before we carry on, shall we all give a round of applause and a crate of freshly-baked chocolate croissants to the editors at DT Lux magazine? If you recall, they’re responsible for this. Mag knows man-meat.

Okay, over to you Victor, give us the pose down!

Confidence, Arrogance, Or Both?: In the above cover shot, VV is demonstrating one of the first, and most important poses to master. This is best used for photos taken publically that inevitably will wind up on Facebook or other social networking sites where people you know (aka the ex) will be looking and judging. It says, “I look like I’m thinking about sex, don’t I? Maybe I just did something sexy with someone else. Someone rich and with better hair. That’s why I look so smug. How are things with you? Got rid of that nasty case of bacne yet?”

The Three “S” Words: As anyone who’s ever tried to pose macking it next to their Ford Fiesta in a don-dada like stance knows, live action/ prop shots aren’t easy to pull off. Heed Victor’s example: Shades. Single-hand (to evoke casual control). Think about Sex. Done.

Serene Swagger: Figure out your best side, face the soft lighting and think about how many women want to have sex with you. That’s how you get a look of serenity that comes off erotic, not emasculated. Note to Kickettes: this look can also be easily replicated by thinking about Victor thinking about having sex with you.

Wow, we’re saying “sex” a lot in this post. Go figure.


Welp. He’s in leather trousers…

Wait, what were we talking about again? Whatever it was, Victor wins.

You likey?

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90 Responses to “The Friday Fit: Victor Valdes, Barcelona”

  1. SANA says:

    god i diden´t know that victor is so damn hot. Man thats what you call a fucking model

  2. ArsenalFan says:

    oooh I like the black and white one, yummy

  3. Tiara says:

    oh meu Deus .. sluurpppss…

  4. Chi Chi says:

    OMG I can not believe the hotness of that man! I am literally swooning, why have i never noticed him before? why is he not as goodlooking when on t.v.? Why are Spanish football players so damn hot? WHat sort of a world do we live in where I have yet to meet a man like that in person. He out sexes Iker and Nevers hands down! Hands down!

  5. Anon says:

    He's really hot. No doubt. But I prefer him with more hair. Maybe he should let them grow a bit. But he's attractive anyway. And for me, he's the hottest goalkeeper ever. And I liked his behaviour during El Clasico. He was a bit aggressive and had a little fight with Cristiano but I found it entertaining.

  6. Eshee says:

    Just one word= h.o.t

  7. Jen says:

    OMG…..Spanish keepers are HOT!!! I think VV takes it too a new level… I love my Pepe, but VV is the victor in this competition!!!

  8. Nihaal28 says:

    Wow …I’m speechless

  9. manuela says:

    Finally, Victor got the place on these pages! I always thought that he's one of the most sexiest Spanish players although I'm madridista! And in person, he's a really wonderfull and hotter than our Iker but Iker is better goal keepear!
    I hope that he'll prove that in the next "el clasico"!
    By the way, I didn't know that he has a wife? I know that he has a girlfriend and a son but that he's married? Who is the lucky one? It seems that I'm out of topic!

  10. I had to clear my throat several times while watching this at a public space… did not succeed in covering up the moans. Quite embarrassing.

  11. GigiSantaCruz says:

    Who? Iker?
    Who? Pepe?
    You girls can have them both as long as you know Victor is miiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!!
    I will never ever again watch a Barca game without picturing the b&w photo everytime they show VV on the screen!!!

  12. Anita says:

    Damn Victor, where were you all this time?? ;)
    Thanks for sharing your hotness with us!!

  13. BlackRose says:

    oh jesusjosephmary, do me VV. And the man knows how to play the piano and thus he surely knows how to play all sort of keys, girls.

  14. ela says:

    looking at him is like watching porn….

  15. WOW! finally a whole posting on my fave #1 man!!!! Vic VAldes!!! amazing!!!! :) Hes is def. a hot MANLY man!!! Eat your heart out Cristiano!!! Now i really cant wait to wear my Goalie jersey on Monday for the awesome "Clasico" wooohoooooo!!!! Barca Kick some Madrid bootie !!!! :) :) :) THank you Kickettes!!!

  16. Lunare says:

    OMG! I gasped at every photo. Victor. Is. God. Always loved him, always will.
    BTW, Kickette, I love you. I missed you so much during my exam week.

  17. Johanna says:

    Nice shots of VV. He always knows how to take pictures effortlessly. Even though he's gorgeous, talented(I think he's the best keeper in Spain) and has a voice to die for, I only have eyes for Pinto. As a Barca fan I love them all, but Pinto is my favorite along with Xavi.

  18. ashmenon says:

    Sexface if I ever saw one. That you-want-me smirk…makes me want him. Well played, Victor, well played.

  19. alf says:

    aha! *dies*

  20. Marie says:

    wow! he is ridiculously hot…….

  21. chay says:

    I know people are going to shoot me but seriously, the first thing i thought when i saw this cover was, "wow, he has such pointy ears" and the star trek theme ran through my head.

    Sorry, doesn't do it for me girls–i'm a die-hard iker loyalist!

    • AllTheWay..Iker ;D says:

      I feel with you… !
      Iker will always be my number one.. (nr. one goalies and nr 2 of the hottest men i've ever seen)
      Valdes is hot.. but Iker is
      -he loves peace during a match (for example in every "el clasico")
      -he has something that is so f** sexy ;D
      -his face *_*
      -his body
      -his smile *_*
      Valdes is hot
      but Casillas is my nr. 1 :D

  22. ela says:

    I could go to war for this man…..

  23. GourcuffLover says:

    Did he get a nose job?

  24. wow!!!!!! i've always said that if he lets his hair grow back, he would look hotter. Well never mind that he looks super HOT just the way he is right now (but hair would make him way better ) anyways it doesnt matter if he never lets it grow back . Now I know he is HOT no matter what ( well except when he plays against Madrid, than i dont like him very much)

  25. rainstarmcgee says:

    i cant even think right now…this man is so just sexy/beautiful/hot/handsome any other word you can think that embodies him! i have never loved the Barcelona team more than now for having the absolute SEXIEST MEN on their team. this is great, just great :)

  26. farahmancunian says:

    The pictures are hot but I prefer the first pic in this;….

    And no one can beat Xabi in posing…the Mag did do some good job though. Llorente next please. or Sergio.

  27. poprockprincess says:

    OH DEAR GOD!!!! Thank you for Victor. Nuff said. *faints

  28. alma says:

    I guess he's okay but why does his face look so long ??

  29. SoccerLoverrrr says:

    i wana rip his clothes off and juss make out with him. nuff said.

  30. YouNeverWalkAlone says:

    Does anyone know who his wife is? Because I know that he had a son and everything, but in an interview he mentions his wife……

  31. Catie says:

    Hot. DAMN. I'm moving to Spain.

  32. kitty1979 says:

    F**K Me, he's hot!

  33. Leya_S says:

    If this is what I get for Thanksgiving, I cannot WAIT for Christmas, Kickette!
    I've always thought Victor was the hottest out of the 3 SNT keepers, but GOOD GOD, he is SMOULDERING in these pictures. I might return some of my Black Friday shopping to book a ticket to Spain, I think….

  34. @Dodah4 says:


  35. xoWinnie says:

    this reminds me of the days when VV had hair:…
    so hot.

    i know it's not a fair comparison, because he's must hotter now
    but i hope guy that starts out that cute, turns out THIS hot.

  36. Finest Five contender, that's for sure! He is deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelish. yummmmmmmy.

  37. JesseLovesVV4ever says:

    Victor Valdes is hotter than both Iker and Pepe Reina combined.
    And that my friends is the truth.
    GO! BARCELONA 4 the El Clasico….!! <333

  38. Ashley says:

    I don't know why but in the first picture he reminds me of Jack Nickolson's joker from Batman. I think its got something to do with his smile

  39. Bri says:

    Victor Valdes in leather trousers. Hold on while I peel myself up from the floor. That boy is hella fiiiiiiine! I did not expect to see that when I woke up this morning. From the bottom of my loins *ahem* I mean heart…thankyou thankyou thankyou for the friday fit!

  40. Rossanera says:

    Me gusta. I also really like how it says "Kinky Christmas" an inch from his gorgeous face. That's a subliminal message if ever I saw one.

    Happy Holidays, indeed.

  41. loveu2much says:

    i cant get over two things about this guy 1: the chocolatiness in his eyes and 2: his fingers wtf did that come from but its ridicioulous cuz i keep trying to look at his body in those pics but i find my self looking at his eyes and fingers lol and i have misspelled things cuz i forgot the correct spelling cuz i have lost the ability to concentrate enough now!

  42. I love him… of currently, my brain, speech and vocabulary, well nevermind, basically all functions have shut down.__This man embodies sex. He just mindblasted me OH GOD

  43. Mrs Puyol says:

    I guess being a goalkeeper for Barca means a lot of lonliness in your own penalty area. Which means a lot of time to practise your posing skills.

    Jesus Victor! Just dazzle them with your superior sexiness on Monday and everything will be alright.

  44. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    This is…this is…HOLY CRAP!! I'm getting embarrassed by my own thoughts. What an image to have in your head when the boss goes: blah, blah budget, blah, blah.

    Thank you Kickette and THANK YOU BARCA!!!

    • BarceLisa says:

      omg that budget line slayed me! Lotte I will tell your two little boys they have the coolest mum EVER.

      • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

        Oh thank you! You know, the 3-year old are learning numbers with the help of the barcaboys. Me: "What number does Pique have?", 3-year old: "Three!! And Messi has number ten!!" It's scary and cute at the same time ;) .

  45. Astrid says:

    what do they feed the goalkeepers at the NT?!

  46. holy fudgemuffins.
    i likey.
    a lot a lot.

  47. blitzenTO says:

    Oh yes, God yes!!!!!! I have been drooling over these pics for the last couple of days now. From his gorgeous eyes to his smoking bod (and that sexy scar!) to his low-key sense of style, this man is absolute perfection. He is also a really good person, and best friends with Andres Iniesta, which gives him about +1000 points in my book!

    I encourage everyone to go to the DT Lux website and check out the "making of" video for this shoot. If you didn't already want to lick every centimeter of this man's body, you will after you see the video!

  48. YvoGirl says:

    The new epitomy of hotness???!!! Well, we know who we're going to be focussing on come El Classico Monday!

    Dear Kickette,

    Thank you for making my Friday.

    <3 YvoGirl who needs some sizzle in this frigid Canadian country

  49. blake2108 says:

    First and last pics are stunning. Never realised how hot he was.

    Spanish goalkeepers are blooming gorgeous. Still prefer David De Gea though

  50. anne says:

    Great post! very funny! and as for Victor…perfect doesn't even begin to cover it.

  51. Whiskey says:

    Very nice. And on the cover of a mag with a story entitled "KInky Christmas" – coincidence?? I think not.

  52. liliana says:

    DAAAAAYUM!!!!!!!!!!!!! VICTOR LOOKS LIKE *RAWR*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I feel so dizzy! WOW

  53. Thea says:

    Perfect cure for a hangover – room service, watching old movies and this man on kickette!

  54. BarceLisa says:

    I love how in the last few years VV is realising his own hotness. One day he probably looked at himself in the mirror and said "You know what? I am pretty damn hot and the whole world needs to see it". I like to call it the J-Lo Effect.

  55. Julia says:

    not everyone looks good with leather pants and shaved head!!! BUT VICTOR DOES!!!!!!!!!

  56. tigerS says:

    OMG ! I CAN'T EVEN…Holy mother fucking shit !

  57. gin_in_teacups says:

    I was going to file a complaint about you making me feel all funny and tingly for the opposition goalkeeper right before el clasico, but honestly, it's never a bad time to look at photos of a man as sexy as Victor so undeniably is. But I humbly request Kickette balance it out with someone from Real-y Hot Madrid. You know, in the interest of fairness. And eye candy. And… oh my I am distracted by those leather pants…

    • Guest says:

      I'd say – Mou, bring on the Xabi Alonso pictures!!!

    • C16 says:

      I feel you sister. I'm a Madridista and the opposition goalkeeper shouldn't look this hot in El Clásico week… Damn it, he's my guilty pleasure… *hides

  58. Taskeen says:

    Erm.. I'm quite speechless… hot damn. Homeboy has that manly-manliness thing down to a T.
    He may also be the only man that could ever wear leather pants and look like THAT (and smize at the same time!- he's got talent yo).. Don't hurt me for saying this but he's just overtaken The Saint in the goal keeper hierarchy of sexy (I appreciate Iker don't get me wrong, but personally I've always found ol' Vic's danger vibe a teeny bit hotter)

  59. Lily says:

    Kickette, a certain red-carded GQMF and former DT coverstar had a birthday two days ago- Xabi Alonso is now 29 and you forgot about it!

    VV is hot with or without hair- there are not too many people I can say that about.

  60. DutchGooner89 says:

    OHH MY GIDDY GIDDY GOSH…since ive been in complete depression mode this whole week thanks to ARSENAL!!! This has actually made my eyes pop out and drool over my keyboard, okayyyy i was not expecting him to look soooo…whats the word HOT DIGGY DI DAMN HOOOOOOT!!! wooow ding dong hes definitely added to my hot balelrs list, woowzer. I wouldnt mind a bite out of his gione ass ;)

  61. Reading this post, Kickette, I alternated between drooling and laughing out loud.. BRILLIANT. And I thought you were on holiday? Obviously not. You got it goin' on 24/7.

  62. Jessie says:

    Hot, Hot, Hot…….The man is just sizzling….I'm sure something just exploded… so you know.

  63. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Valdez interesting, I am pissed, if you have this apps,I demand you, SHOW IT…Hint: Monday night, we want some skin!! I say have one to one with Cris and see who has the better apps, forget about the football and classico gibberish!!

  64. Georgina Sanders says:

    I've already said these in conlaroja:

    He is definitely underrated in terms of the looks department.

    Among the three goalkeepers of the Spanish NT, he's the one I crush on because I remember the time when he still had hair.. Oh sooo hot! I've never had a thing for Iker (as in, ever! I know.. blasphemy! Haha) and Pepe, with all the fun, jokes and laughter, is just a great guy best friend to hang out with, nothing more than that. :-) But that's just me.