January 25th, 2011

The Kickette Quiz: What Kind Of Aussie Abs Are You?

In case you missed it: from the critically acclaimed program, ‘Sticking with the Socceroos’, there were taut tummies in a tiny pool. Image: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images AsiaPac.

It’s time to learn more about how your roving eyes are indirectly related to your level of social awkwardness, Kickettes, then behold the latest iteration of our popular personality quizzes.

In honour of Australia Day, (a public holiday occurring tomorrow that all should have off from work but probably don’t), we’re dying to know how you like your abs.

This exercise should hardly be taxing on your mental dexterity, so the only excuse we’ve deemed acceptable for skipping out on voicing your preferences must involve the ongoing plight of your computer monitor in its battle against privacy invaders.

Without further ado, let’s dive right in.

Q1:Your idea of a fun Saturday night includes?

A) Being one of his six pack’s booty calls, since it would be a mayjah upgrade on the type of calls your mobile normally receives.

B) Learning how to drive, an suitably uncomfortable situation for you and all the other folks on the road.

C) A game of strip poker, since you’re the type to up the ante and go all clothes-in just to haphazardly discard your dignity in hopes he’ll do the same.

D) Drinking the equivalent of a developing nation’s GDP in liquor, before snatching the first guy who appears in your line of beer goggle vision.

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Q2: Which type of pet best suits your personality?

A) Goldfish; because its a low-maintenance responsibility that you can’t even handle. Fast forward to your mean-spirited older brother flushing Goldilocks down the loo in order to put you and the stank tank out of its misery.

B) A Tamagotchi; you’d relish every chance you got to discipline the damn thing and force it to skip meals.

C) A leopard gecko; You want everyone to be comfortable in their own skin, even your kin-in-training.

D) A borrowed one. That you lose enroute to the park.

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Q3: The female super hero you most identify with is?

A) Barbarella, so you can seduce your prey and make them marvel at your fabulously new enlarged bustline.

B) Elastigirl/Mrs. Incredible. You fantasize (often) about using your arms as swings.

C) Marvel Comics’ character, Storm. Just to see how fantastically awesome a full head of silver strands would look on your bodacious bod.

D) Catwoman. Your former partners have likened your mental stability to that of every erratic female actress that has ever slithered around in the latex suit.

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Q4: If you could go back to any point and time and live, which era would you choose?

A) The 1980s. Two words: hair bands.

B) 1912, to be exact. You’d hop aboard the RMS Titanic to ensure Jack never lets go…only to discover Leonardo DiCaprio’s time traveling experiences hit a snag. He wouldn’t join you after all, so you wouldn’t get the coveted after hours/below deck dance party invite you would’ve been pining for. Shame, really, because you would’ve blown the britches off the ladies when you showed them your “worm”!

C) The 1960s. You have a thing for Don Draper from Mad Men. And why wouldn’t you?

D) England, circa 1520. Because you think Henry VIII really was as hot as Jonathan Rhys Myers in The Tudors. You might need help.

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Q5: Your Typical First Dates Include:

A) Whips, chains, blindfolds, and leather.

B) A lot of awkward silence.

C) Playing footsy under the table with the newly introduced as a diversion technique. Meanwhile, you’ll be slowly eye stripping his clothes off to fantasy-reveal how his midsection would look sprawled across your bed.

D) Getting sloppy drunk, hitting on the bartender, losing your purse and realizing far too late that your date has done a runner.

RESULTS!

MOSTLY A’s) You are Lucas Neill’s superficial, sassy and sexed up abs.

Rough, rugged and you don’t want no more drama in your life. Unless, of course, it’s at the expense of others.

Muaha.

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MOSTLY B’s) You are Luke Wilkshire’s woefully weird washboard.

You haven’t been to the foot doctor lately or else that narsty fungus would’ve disappeared by now. Instead, you just avoid the pedi place like the plague.

Oh, and scratch and sniff anythings are right up your alley.

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MOSTLY C’s) You are Tim Cahill’s chiseled cavity.

You can clean a row of corn on the cob in minimal bites, without help from those pesky side-holder thingies. You’ve read Steve Harvey’s New York Times’ best-selling book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”. Twice.

You’re hot and you know it, but still get warm fuzzies from time to time at the sight of your own offspring making a name for himself.

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Socceroos shirtless in the poolsMOSTLY D’s) You are Carl Valeri’s semi-submerged six pack.

Flair ain’t your forte, but it may accidentally be apart of your style.

You’re the type who remembers to self-medicate before flying, but always forgets to cut yourself off after having one too many of the in-flight mini bottles of wine.

Plus, You have a not-so-secret crush on Vinny from MTV’s Jersey Shore.

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36 Responses to “The Kickette Quiz: What Kind Of Aussie Abs Are You?”

  1. mrs.navas says:

    holy smokes i got tim cahill. YEAHSSSSS.

  2. Mrs.FernandoTorresAustralia says:

    give me lucas neill anyday ;)
    yum yum yum yum

  3. Lyman Dina says:

    Casual Weddings are getting more popular these days, it’s just wonderful and you have so much control on what you want.

  4. Clare says:

    Yay gotta love my Aussie boys! Kicking ass in the asian cup and looking damn good while doing it too. Great start to a great Australia day. :D

  5. livealittle says:

    i tied between Cahill and Neill. clearly this means that i'm not a 6-pack kinda girl, but a 12-pack kinda girl (as in i need 2 sets of 6-packs, obvi). also,i would like to thank you, Kickette because y'all mentioned Storm. she was my idol as a child. honestly, i still wanna be her.

  6. Whitney Hot4Spurs says:

    Tell you what Blake, of course you can have Bale! Everybody knows he's yours anyway! LOL! So, I'll replace Bale with Skrtel. I don't think Cahill is gonna do it for me anyway.

  7. ms. mamacita says:

    Tim Cahill …. mmmhhhhmmmmm …. how youuuuu doing??? (*Wendy Williams voice)

  8. rain-s-child says:

    no need for a quiz, i'm team cahill (see what i did there? :D )

  9. Sarah says:

    I got Cahill Wooo!!! :D

  10. fieryheart says:

    Answered the questions halfway and quickly scrolled down just to witness the hotness.
    Definitely love Lucas Neill and Carl Valeri more after seeing those pictures :)
    I demand more of the Australian NT coverage here on Kickette ! Pretty please with sugar on top. Thanks in advance ;)

  11. blake2108 says:

    I could totally throw my toys out of the "sexism" pram when looking at Question 3…

  12. Catie says:

    Yesssss I got the one I wanted! It's like getting a free lollipop. Lucas Neil – you owe me a lollipop.

    And I second the other girls, more please!

  13. Keziah says:

    Kickette you have provided the perfect finish to a wonderful Australia Day! I love getting Timmy.
    Out of respect to the rest of our Aussies boys doing such an amazing job in Qatar right now I have to ask if you can please address the fact that you've accidentally, while in the champagne stupor customary at the end of a good Australia day celebration, got the names of the two lesser known socceroos wrong…. its Luke "Wilkshire" and Carl "Valeri"… THANKS :-)

  14. Marie says:

    the first and only thing in my mind is 'How to get into that pool'?????????????????

    (the quiz was AMAZING)

    • keziah says:

      YES!!!… or how to get the pool with contents unharmed into my backyard Australia Day Party!

  15. sophmatthews says:

    Carl *Valeri*
    Luke *Wilkshire*
    Just stickin up for Australians everywhere.

  16. Leá says:

    So satisfied with my mostly C's Tim Cahill. I'm down for that all day every day.

  17. Got Tim Cahilll as well!! Haha… and… wait… Did someone mention Don Draper?? Hmmm….

  18. rainstarmcgee says:

    Mostly C's!

    this must be a sign that i am destined to Marry Tim and have adorable aussie babies, or that i need to get outside more….

  19. Leya_S says:

    Kickette you are BRILLIANT because I got Timmy Cahill without even CHEATING!!!!!!!
    Whoo!

  20. SoccerrLoverrr says:

    All i see in this picture is TIM CAHILL. Damn brothaaa u got some real chiselled abs goin on there ;)

  21. Emma says:

    I’d rather skip the questions and take them all ;) haha and you know what else that makes this Australia day amazing compared to the rest? Australia s now in the finals of the Asian Cup with a 6-0 win over Uzbekistan!!!!!! ( and finally got to see the sexy Robbie Kruse play!!!)

  22. Soso says:

    Mostly B, funny thing, or perhaps its actually sad, the description entirely suits me. Maybe its time to make an appointment and tackle that problem, take the test again and see if i get Lucas hahaha

  23. tim cahill…. fudge yeah. (:

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  25. Whitney Hot4Spurs says:

    I'd really need to discuss this with all of my boyfriends (Bale, Nani, Assou-Ekotoo, and Alonso) before I take Tim Cahill on.

  26. mochara says:

    Carl Veri? I want Tim Cahill! Why is it so damn difficult!!!

  27. ThatWelshOne says:

    Tim Cahill. Yes please.

  28. Eiro says:

    Got C's except for the Jonathan Rhys Meyers question…. Damn he's hot in that show but I got Tim. So I'm pretty proud of myself ;)

  29. Bri says:

    Totally got Neill…it totally was the 80s hairbands.

    That was fun, can we do more of those??? =D

  30. Mostly C's….awww, but I wanted Lucas Neill! I demand a recount!