October 30th, 2009

The Re-Hash: Trick or Treat, Baller Edition

imageYup, that’s right. It’s the same post we put up last year for Halloween. We’re just that professional, prepared and well-sorted. But also, last year’s Hallo post was so much fun.

And, there are only so many slutty costumes and innuendo we can spout. We topped out somewhere in-between the fireman hose jokes and the Elite XI.

We’re hoping we’ll have lots of footballers at fancy dress party pics to post on Monday, but in the meantime, take a walk with us down memory lane – if you were with us last year, have your answers changed? If you’re new to the site, by all means make your thoughts known.

Random: have you got your costume yet?

Happy Halloween, Kickettes!

Since we’ve yet to decide on our costume for this evening’s festivities, we’re going to procrastinate and play our favourite Halloween-themed baller game, Trick or Treat, ‘Baller Edition.

Btw: can anyone shed some light on why every option for women is prefaced by skank? ie, slutty- football- supporter- chick, slutty- witch, slutty- cheerleader, slutty- zombie, etc?

Anyhoo, the rules are simple, but strict:

Two ballers knock on your door dressed in their best costume. You have to decide which one of them gets a trick, and which one gets a treat. Who are you giving the best candy to and who gets a blast of sneezing powder? Someone has to go home with empty pockets, and it’s up to you.

There goes the doorbell! Throw on a skanky-nurse costume and click on through.


First up – Fernando Torres: an ambitious new fireman, fresh out of training. Has yards of extra hose;

vs Xabi Alonso, the confident, transatlantic pilot with a swagger that can only come from hooking up with half of the stewardesses on the last NY-London flight in.


Next, Iker Casillas, a bristling, brooding Zorro. He has a mask and dresses in black. ‘Nuff said;

vs Doctor Santa Cruz, known for his gentle bedside manner. Ready, as always, to give a full and comprehensive physical.


Francesco Totti: a swarthy cowboy kitted out in requisite leather chaps and a large lasso;

vs Sylvain Distin – an experienced police officer who isn’t afraid to use his truncheon if necessary;

(wow, this really is getting extremely cheesy and a tad playgirl catalogue, but we’ve started so we might as well finish)


Finally, Yoann Gourcuff, the gladiator. Fights lions with his bare hands and feels no need to ever wear a shirt;

vs Owen Hargreaves as a hardworking mechanic. Good with grease and not afraid to get dirty.

Who wins your Trick or Treat-Off this All Hallow’s Eve?

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40 Responses to “The Re-Hash: Trick or Treat, Baller Edition”

  1. Tora says:

    I’d love to see Iker dressed like this… :D And Nando… he’s just perfect!

  2. jenny says:

    My brain has exploded with unfulfilled pleasure from the thought of answering my door and finding a shirtless gladiator Yoann out there!!!!

    1. Xabi, even as a shirtless pilot. Nando looks too adolescent to me. Plus the headband is no.

    2. Iker. No question. Even if he came dressed as SpongeBob.

    3. Distin. Yum!

    4. Yoann, now and forever.

  3. eatmyboost says:

    Iker in a Zorro outfit … something I've always dreamed of …

  4. Avenath says:

    Nando and Roque would be enough treat for me…i’d be all kinds of busy all weekend…sigh, sigh, sigh…

  5. Lilly says:

    defo IKER!!!I mean, the Zoro custome just does it for me!aaaah!
    hmmm.i sure love nando but i’m gonna give him the nastiest treat i could think of for getting married AND having a baby.
    i really like doctors so santa is so approved!
    Yoan custome is so right!well done,kickette.

  6. justlikexabi says:

    Xabi, Santa, Totti, Owen.

  7. barcachick19 says:

    I wore that costume (the pick soccer uniform) for a halloween party lol first time i saw it @ the store i was like: "that is what am wearing for halloween". all the footballers looked great on those costumes ;)

  8. sounderslove says:

    1: Fernando. Because logically, Fernando is the one that would be knocking on your door asking for candy. Xabi would be the dad watching from the sidewalk as his kid(s) go up and ask for candy. Well, and I love Fernando. That too.
    2: Iker. There are very few contests in which Iker does not win. Except the league championship, but we’ll just ignore that for now.
    3: Cesc. Wait…
    seriously, why is Cesc not in this list? He is probably the ‘baller most likely to go trick-or-treating.
    4: Yoann. Has anyone not chosen Yoann? If so, there is something wrong with you.

  9. Jess Gourcuff says:

    1- Torres but they’re both cute
    2- Ilker lol (the best costume lol)
    3- Totti
    4- Yoahh obviously

    Happy Halloween!!!!!

  10. Blondie says:

    1) Nando :)
    2) Santa Cruz
    3) Totti
    4) Yoann

  11. Regiane says:

    Shame on you Kickette!!! How come you didn’t put Berba on a Dracula costume for us to choose? Or even Vida in a Terminator outfit? tsc tsc tsc… Shame on you again!!!
    As I don’t have these options, I’ll stick with fireman Nando (of course) and in second place there are two lads who caught my eyes: Totti (he’s Italian so I don’t feel the need to explain myself!) and Yoann (he’s dressed up as an Italian character so I don’t feel the need to explain myself again!!!) **hehehe**

  12. Fer_Lahm says:

    1.- Nando

    2.- Iker

    3.- Totti

    4.- of course Yoann!

    Happy Halloween ladies!

  13. Round 1- Nando. I cant help it. I love him way too much.
    Round 2- Roque would get the treat..
    Round 3- Totti! Because he’s Italian and has a penchant for less clothes.
    Round 4- I’d have to give it to Yoann. Although I like the mechanic costume better, I’m not particularly fond of Owen.

    Also, if these four came knocking at my door, I’d pick Nando in a heartbeat. Sighh.. There’s just NO competition where he’s concerned.

  14. Zo.acm says:

    OOOOHHHH best Halloween EVER!
    1st- Nando, nothing agains’t Xabi’s costume or him I’m just partial to darling Fernando…
    2nd- Roque Santa Cruz! For sure…. Iker’s just put me off now. And the whole doctor thing…. sigh
    3rd- Totti, because he’s Italian and for me they always win :P
    4th- and all round winner- Yoann as the gladiator. He gets every treat I have and all that I can steal.

  15. Mariam says:

    nando, iker, frencesco and yoann!!!

  16. goalkeeperette says:

    1 – Ngggghhhhh can't decide. It's just plain cruel to put Nando up against Xabi. And they definitely have the best costumes.

    2 – Helloooooo Dr. Santa Cruz, I need a thorough check-up….

    3 – Officer Distin, would you please use your handcuffs on me?

    4 – Yoann. Can't do any wrong with those lashes and all the leather.

    (Speaking of cheesy, lol. Happy Halloween girls!)

  17. Ira says:

    1 – NANDOOOOOOO!!!! <3 As a fireman, he would have to stop the fire (which HE caused when I saw him)! uuufff @_@ ^_^

    2 – Ikeeer :D

    3 – Totti

    4 – Gourcuff


  18. MissEstonia says:

    1: Xabi. I wouldn’t touch Torres with a stick.
    2: Roque. Doctors are a soft spot, my first love was a surgeon. Plus Iker doesn’t do it for me (I know, right? I’m some kind of a mutant freak that I don’t flip over Torres OR Casillas.)
    4:Gourcuff, naturally…He wins overall. Just by not wearing clothing. In fact, he should just start modelling Halloween costumes as a side job.

  19. Megan says:

    Round 1~~ Nando for sure. I would give Xabi coal. Oh wait that's Christmas haha

    Round 2~~ Iker

    Round 3~~ Totti. Mainly for the actual Cowboy =P

    Round 4~~ Yoann, but could he not be in the mechanic outfit?

  20. Baby Freya says:

    Nando: Well, that was obvious for me!
    Iker = It’s a shame the Zorro mask doesn’t hide that beard :S
    Totti = Save a horse…ride Totti ;)
    Yoann = I lvoe Owen but Yoann is quite simply much hotter!

  21. imhereforthenando says:

    Round 1- Fernando for sure. Xabi is worse than dead to me, and he would get the worst trick I could think of.
    Round 2- Iker for the treat, obviously.
    Round 3- Hot Totti for the treat.
    Round 4- Oh god, it’s Yoann. It’s always Yoann.

    Kickette, it’s things like this that show me that I wasn’t really living before I discovered Kickette. Thanks for making my Halloween that much sexier.

  22. mrs aaron ramsey (&# says:

    1- can i vote for both? u know what fer cuz xabi's hat don't float my boat

    2- iker cuz roque got ugly oh wait iker has a monster on his face…. still iker

    3- if it were different ppl i could choose but as i like NONE well……

    4- yoann. need i say more?

  23. I remember this from last year!


    Always + Forever

  24. Alisha says:

    Right that is really difficult! But has to be Nando, Iker, Totii and Yoann, he has the body to pull that off!

  25. Rusty (Mrs Clemens F says:

    Think I'm *exactly* the same as last year, but my Fritz costume is better.

  26. LoveLamps says:

    Why didn’t I play last year? Oh, busy with Frank. Again this year, I’m giving Frank all my treat. Sorry boys!

  27. FootballerChick43-&q says:

    My costume is/was Victoria Beckham. I know. Corny.

    1. Going for Xabi. Pilot wins every time.

    2. Ooooh, thats a tough one. Does Iker have stubble (not beard) or other? If other, Doctor Santa Cruz. If stubble, Iker/Zorro. I know. But I have a thing for intelligent guys in med school.

    3. Distin. Policeman beats cowboy. I get enough of that around here, thanks.

    4. Yoann. Do I need to explain?

    Haha, still great, Kickette :)

  28. Kristen (Mrs. Sebastian Rudy) says:

    Round 1~~Nando deffo gets the treat!!
    Round 2~~Iker deffo gets the treat!! I loves Santa’s outfit, but Iker’s is way better!!
    Round 3~~Totti
    Round 4~~Yoann!! Oh man, I have recently formed a liking for Yoann. :) I love Owen too, but Yoann is way better!

  29. Dee13 says:

    nothing has changed from last year…

    still paging dr. roque… ;)

  30. RedGirl (Mrs. Casill says:

    1- Nando

    2- Íkeeeer!!! (sings El Zorro's song) "en su corcel, cuando sale la lunaaa… aparece el bravo Íker… eerm, Zorro!!" =P

    3- Totti

    4- Gourcuff

    And now I'm off to take a cold shower hahaha

  31. Lana says:

    Xabi, Iker, Totti, Owen

  32. lulu says:

    Oooh! i never seen this last year but i would have to pick:

    1. Xabi

    2. Santa ( this one was soo hard i wanted both!)

    3. Distin

    4. Yoann!!

  33. MissChelsea says:

    Xabi, iker, distin, yoann :)

  34. Amyy says:

    Can i not have them all??

    If not then:

    Nando :)


    Distin (Im a pompey girl. I still Love him :) )

    And of course Yoannn!!!

    Wow that was hardd!

  35. ManchesterKitty says:

    I can totally see all these costumes working….I love the Xabi pilot one. I can totally see that. Same with Totti as the cowboy.

  36. Riya says:

    Nando, Iker, Totti, Yoann.


  37. katie says:

    Round 1- Nando gets the treat!!

    Round 2- definitely Iker as Zorro

    Round 3- Distin

    Round 4- that's a pretty tough one but I think I'd have to go with Yoann cuz he would be showing so much more skin

    what a great halloween treat Kickette!! can't wait for some baller party pics next week!!!

  38. Dii says:

    Round 1 – I want them both to get the treat? But I guess I'll choose Nando. ^^

    Round 2 – Ikerrr!

    Round 3 – Totti :)

    Round 4 – Haha, definitely Owen :D

    Thanks Kickettes, this was great ;)

  39. Lolinha says:

    A duel with Zorro and the Gladiator, after which there'd probably be some need for a physician. In the end I'm sure the plumbing would need some fixing… :)

    Personally I'm against the slutty costumes and would go as a zombie or something else really gross… Carrie with the pig's blood maybe, or the chick from the Exorcist. Unfortunately, we don't have Halloween where I'm living.