August 1st, 2012

The Sizzle Query: Álvaro Arbeloa

Recently, one of our Facebook mates posited a complex query to us, one that requires several parts imagination and one part explanation:

“Dear Kickette(s), what do you think of Álvaro Arbeloa?”

Shall we?

Mr Arbeloa is gently filed in our under-rated-and-squeaky-clean-hot category of objectification. He’s a gentle soul who hand-knits his jumpers in his spare time and blames all those late night pet rescue adverts for the cute puppy collection that he’s amassed over the years. No doubt AA would pass the mama introduction test, and we firmly believe he’d score high marks with our neighbours as well.

Punctual, efficient and dependable, we require our defenders to be tough tackling and strong, like this man. Commercial sponsors sometimes lean heavily on a player’s family man image (see: David Beckham), but luckily for us and the general paying public, husbandhood (don’t forget fatherhood too) suits him better than Real Madrid’s designer away game threads.

Keeping all those glorious qualities in mind, we’re only about 75% of the way on board (with one third of that due to his playing board games sans trousers). Before we go the distance with Alvaro, we need to know more about his personality and moral fibre. Does he enjoy “pull my finger” pranks? Rolling around in gelatin just because it feels good?

Kickettes, do you value a cheeky smile and bonus tongue like we do? Or is Mr Arbeloa’s meticulously clean whistle a bit too vanilla for your taste – preferring, instead, a footballer who spends his evenings skulking through gun shops in a leather jacket and driving a mud splashed motorcycle whilst flicking cigarette ash on dear old grannies?

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36 Responses to “The Sizzle Query: Álvaro Arbeloa”

  1. windsandwings says:

    There was this video of a prank involving him and one of his teammates( i guess) and at the end of it he laughs……. God that deep laugh exponentially increased my rating of his hotness……….

  2. Mony says:

    I never noticed him until i saw Spain's parade and he had one those shades. The guy is hot :D

  3. freckledtattoo says:

    I love Alvaro to bits. He's a good defender and has an awesome personality & sense of humor! :)

  4. black widow says:

    after iker, he is my favourite. game of thrones nerd, twitter fanatic, intelligent, well-read, devoted daddy and husband, beautiful smile, tall, incredible athlete … and did i mention gorgeous body and face?! (not to mention, he plays/ed for my two favourite teams.) he is a totally underrated classic. freebie five! freebie five! freebie five! freebie five!

  5. Meg says:

    Oh I love him! I think he has a great sense of humor, and his nerdy side appeals to me as well. Plus he's smokin hot!

  6. GoonerKate says:

    Love this guy! He's super nerdy (he talks about stuff like Game of Thrones on Twitter and his dogs are named Bauer, Mulder, and Sawyer), but also super ridiculously sexy. So kind of the perfect man :) Not to mention that he's a fantastic player. So to answer your question, very yes.

  7. iram1982 says:

    :) I think he can be handsome, but he is a tad bit too skinny!

  8. Jess says:

    Alvaro is SEXYYY. Nuff said. ;)

  9. Kristine says:

    I don't know, why but when I comment from my phone, it never shows up in the comments when I log in from my computer. It's very weird. Anyway…
    Arbeloa should get more attention than he does. He's beautiful, smart and witty. And he is the Twitter King!
    Great choice for the #5 spot on the F5. Maybe even taking KPB's place at #3.

    • laligagirl says:

      He's should be second to Sergio Ramos. That's my Finest Five Sergio Ramos, Arbeloa, Torres, Silva, Bocanegra. In that order.

  10. Kimmunism says:

    How could anyone not love such a sweetie-pants? He has that certain little something that has always attracted me to him, so I say thumbs up all the way.

  11. jen says:

    he and his wife are both insanely good looking AND insanely likable! how can you not adore arbeloa? and also, their daughter alba?? TOO FREAKING CUTE!

  12. Kate says:

    Dear Kickette(s), it was actually me who raised the question on facebook – without the slightest expectation of getting an response as detailed and eloquent as this one. Seriously, I kneel before you in awe!

  13. Mireille says:

    You know, Real Madrid may be chock-full of eye candy, but out of all of the players, Alvaro is the type of guy I would date in real life. I love that he's a nerd — he has pugs named Mulder, Sawyer and Bauer (hee!) and has beaten Xabi Alonso in Trivial Pursuit! He has wicked wit and knows how to diffuse an awkward situation with tact and humor (see his Tweet regarding the incident with Pepe).

    He clearly takes care of his appearance, but doesn't go overboard with it. And you wouldn't know it when he's clothed, but his body – holy cow! I had to pop my eyes back in their sockets after seeing him shirtless for the first time!

    I would be ridiculously jealous of his wife if it weren't for the fact that she's darn awesome herself. I can't help but smile whenever I see the two of them together.

    • NinaNoir says:

      Wonderful comment. Makes me like Alvaro Arbeloa even more after reading your words.

  14. Sara in Paris says:

    He's a pretty pretty boy, little clean book.

    He's fun to look at, but I prefer bad boys… …If you know what I mean!

  15. hbandshbreak says:

    Love him. He's funny, hot and has this kinda deep voice that always surprises me when I hear it.

  16. laligagirl says:

    He needs to be #5 on the Finest Five. I have long been an Arbeloa fan. I even like Carlota, his wife. I follow both on Twitter. To see him his doggies melts my heart.

  17. earidurt says:

    gorgeous! the hair, the smile, the shoulders, the bum…he's divine.

  18. Gladys says:

    Full disclosure as a Barca fan but with a weakness for tall brunettes, he's really growing on me. He seems sweet and intelligent and gets along with everyone. Plus, I like them clean cut– I'll take a man who knits and collects puppies over a bad boy any day.

    • PepaCandela says:

      I'm a Barca fan as well and I think he's pretty damn hot. Prefer him to CR any day. #nerdlove

  19. Nonna9 says:

    As a Liverpool supporter, I feel like he went and got SUPER HOTT right after he left.

    Also hes a voracious reader!! I love that about him.

    • jen says:

      haha, my thoughts exactly! never realized how good looking he was til he left liverpool!

  20. Sarah says:

    he's pretty much handsome and underrated !

  21. Rossanera says:

    I met him in person. He is stunningly handsome, and that smile could disarm even the most zealous guerrilla militant. You know, just saying.

  22. JaneSpotting says:

    Glorious glorious Alvaro..thought he was all mine to adore?
    Now everyone will see the hotness. Gee thanks kickettes he he

  23. Kristine says:

    I’ve often wondered why he hasn’t gotten more attention! This man is hot and funny. He is the Twitter king after all. His body is sick, too. He could definitely be #5 on the F5!

  24. doug in sf says:

    It's funny you asked what we thought of him, because when I first saw that picture the first thing that came to mind was "what is he thinking?"

  25. gin_in_teacups says:

    I'm pretty sure the phrase tall, dark, and handsome was coined with this man in mind. He's way underrated both in the hotness department and in the (arguably) more important athletic talent department. He might not ping the naughty thoughts radar immediately, but Alvaro is hot in a classic, and lifelong kind of way.

    • Leya_S says:

      Agree. I think he's like the next generation Xabi Alonso…..granted, they're the same generation, really, but you get what I mean.
      And as an added bonus, he's hysterical! He tells the funniest stories!

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      AGREEEEEEED! His shades on him, his twitter is a bless, do you follow his pipita phrases, the photo he posted yesterday with albiol. Oh mine! for me Alvaro is criminally overrated, his WAG Carlota is simply the best WAG, she is gorgeous, most admirably about her her ability to own trolls on twitters who crowdly bother her by disrespecting Arbeloa, this couple is always criminally underrated.
      Like Pirata for me, who broke every streotype there is of a footballer

  26. Phédre says:

    He's cute and I like his sense of humor. He has the funiest tweets!