May 24th, 2011

The Sizzle Query: I Hate Him, But I’d Still Hit It

There are a number of players in world football who, for one reason or another, do not enjoy the kind of adoration from fans that their less ‘morally challenged’ counterparts do. However, in our capacity of ‘hot bishes of the parish’, we reserve the right to perv on any man sporting the correct combination of abs, tent and thigh action.

Query love them or hate themEven if they are sexually, verbally or indeed literally incontinent.

We like to attribute it to an evolutionary drive to procreate, uninhibited by social constructions such as morality. Others would call us skanks, if only we cared to listen. And we know we’re not the only ones.

Kickette would you ratherSo, in response to a comment in a post yesterday, we throw out the challenge. Who would compel you to betray your stringent personal code for a few moments of ‘baller bliss? The criteria are yours to define, just keep to guys who have sullied their rep in whatever unpleasant circumstances would all like to pretend didn’t happen.

Confused? Start with Ashley Cole and work upwards.

Cheers B!

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128 Responses to “The Sizzle Query: I Hate Him, But I’d Still Hit It”

  1. die steel says:

    So beautiful posts,all I like,hope to be better then,and enjoy yourself,good luck in your life.Thanks for your ideas to something.

  2. Mrs. Q.Borri says:

    this is one of the best Q & A I have ever read..!!! first of all is true some of the ballers are too cocky, too rude, or even too wannabes. but the truth to the matter is that, that cockyness and that rudeness makes them even hotter and attractive.. and that is purely undenaliable. :)
    with that said I only have one man:

    The hot hot hot MARCO BORRIELLO why? he somethimes be really cocky but that hot body, that accent and that obscure but macheabellic smile… just makes me wonder many things… my fav of all times! omg! what I will do for that hunk of man… WaoOo!

  3. ZTN says:

    I don't know if he was mentioned before but I honestly hate David Villa.
    I seriously despise him sometimes but when he bitchfaces f*** I feel weak at the knees!

  4. Crackers says:

    ……I have a thing for goalkeepers, see, so my secret hate-shag is very likely to be Victor Valdes (if he wasn't a family man/was single).

    He can behave like such a brat on the pitch sometimes, but it can't be denied that the man is hot enough to scorch anyone's knickers off.

  5. JogaBonita says:

    Benzema. Even after the underage prostitute saga. Shameful isn't it?

  6. Jaime says:

    Ya know when guys wear headbands *cough cough, Serg* it pisses me off so much it unbeliveable. But some one like Carles Puyol, GET IN MY PANTS. I want to take his lucious locks in my hands and stroke them. David Luiz is just so cute ad a want to hug him so bad, then do.. Well other things. And Pinto? What the heck. I dont understand that one..

  7. meh says:

    any one who sed busquets….its never cool to have sex with a racist.

  8. meh says:

    Carroll yes please, but i dont hate him cuz of the fights, i hate the ponytail…but i could just cut that for him…

  9. I'm gonna go with someone from Spurs rival team Arsenal. Theo Walcott.

  10. Iluvlp20 says:

    Fernando. I'm a Chelsea fan and he annoys me like no other but…I so would!

  11. Sophie says:

    Yoann Gourcuff, Sergio Busquets & Alvaro Arbeloa. I would hit them so hard despite…. everything

  12. Bea says:

    Martin Skrtle. My friend describes him as 'prison hot' if that's even possible!

  13. Bea says:

    Definitely! He's not what I'd normally go for – not my type and seems a bit egotistical sometimes (although he can also come across as honest and really sweet in some interviews and documentaries.) But yes, I'd totally be there, haha!

  14. rubyqueen says:

    either cristiano ronaldo or fernando torres. i don't hate ronaldo but his reputation goes before him and well torres for obvious reasons.

  15. Fabienne Khoury says:

    Ben Amos, ginger love ftw

  16. JA7 says:

    Oh man, im nah a c-ron fan, but I'D TAP THAT in heartbeat. *fans self*

  17. FootyGirl says:

    Fernando Torres. I pretty much despise him now. But I’d still hit it with him to see what it would be like.

  18. Lisa Starr says:

    If we're talking about bad boys I'd do DDR and I wouldnt feel guilty one single bit!

  19. Marina_Isabella says:

    None of the dudes that I dislike or don't particularly like are also my secret (dirty) fantasy… I wonder if I'm the only weirdo here?… No I wouldn't do Ronny, Mou, Becks, Zlatan, etc.

  20. MadridistaJenn says:

    Despite my die hard love for my beloved Madrid, I would jump at the chance with Pique and his "piqueton," Xavi, Bojan, and/or Valdez. I often wake up in cold sweats from my dirty Barca dreams.
    I feel like I'm in a confessional; forgive me Father Perez for my impure thoughts.

  21. Hannah Gray says:

    God I HATE Cristiano…but he is fine.
    Also Jose Mourinho. He can be a little sissy but he IS sexy.

  22. Carla says:

    Benzema mmmmm : )

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Really? benz, I could assume because he only plays for RM and you don't support them :) , since the guy is a sweetheart

  23. blitzenTO says:

    OMG!!!! That was my comment that inspired this post! I'm so honoured!

    OK, so here are my pics:

    John Terry (I just…hate him so much, but dayum he is hot!)
    Ibra (he is a petty whining asshat with the body of a god)
    Cannavaro (homophobic remarks…I'll just close my ears and focus on the sexy)

  24. xbabyshakesx says:

    Cesc Fabregas
    i love him but his admiration isn't the same anymore.
    He loves Arsenal, then he loves Barca then loves Arsenal

    but his spanish and hot looks would make me forget all about it! ^^

  25. ciotog says:

    Thierry Henry- I loved him so much and then he had to go and throw us out of the world cup qualifiers with his 'hand of Henry' incident. I still would though. He and Freddie helped to cement my love for the Gunners ( that ad, that panther)!

  26. Doug says:

    Most of these guys are all in the "NO, DON'T SPEAK" category!!

  27. ToysForBots says:

    Mine is still Cristiano Ronaldo. I find him to be a completely egotistical, disgusting, greasy, womanizing diver with bad hair and ridiculous clothing and yet that STILL doesn't stop me from wanting to hit it.

    I need help.

    • Rossanera says:

      I just love this comment.

    • Kristine says:

      If you take away the hair gel, the sunglasses and strip off those ridiculous clothes…You get a an adorable, expressive face with a killer smile AND.THAT.BODY.

    • JA7 says:

      Yes cristiano is a guilty pleasure for me too..

  28. Gladys says:

    It's funny…if we're talking rivals, most of the Madrid players I find hot seem like nice guys. However, I really wouldn't mind tying together those naughty brunette twins Arbeloa and Albiol and abusing them up a bit beforehand. ;)

    • ciotog says:

      I know Iker, Xabi, Sergio, Pipita even Raul and Arbeloa actually seem quite nice. And Sergio Canales, who is rightly referred to on Headbands and Heartbreak as Jailbait, seems innocent. But for the 'crime' of playing for Real Madrid I'm sure I could come up with a suitable punishment ;-) !!

      • Leya_S says:

        omg, i've never been to H&H until you mentioned it, but now I'm addicted to this website! Thanks for the tip!

    • Sam says:

      All the Madrid boys are nice!! Makes it even easier to love them all… no asshattery. Even Ronaldo has matured a great deal this season.

      There is no shame in loving a Madridista :-)

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Right! For me since am a madrid fan, Cris I used to dislike him BUT right now he turned out to be a nice guy too, they are hot and nice too + playing for the club I love lol.

  29. Marlz says:

    John Terry for sure!

  30. Lotte says:

    That was exactly what I meant Sarah. A thumb-down in this post seems a bit pointless really. But if someone doesn't want to understand, they never will.

    • Miss Lampard says:

      Why are you saying that a thumb-down is pointless? Sorry but I can't understand..

      • Lotte says:

        I mean that in this post where people are encouraged to reveal wich footy player they like against their will, it's a bit superfluous to give a thumb-down. An example: I confess I like Zlatan though I think he's a arrogant badass. Somebody gives it a thumb-down wich, I take it, means that he/she think I'm a fool for liking Zlatan. Duh! I know he's a jerk! That's the whole point of my comment. In this case I reacted when Summer's comment where she confesses to like JT was thumbed-down.

        So, there's the background to my reasoning. It's not to be taken so seriously. Am I making any sense?

  31. Kai's Thighs says:

    I don't go for the obvious…but I do have a thing for Kevin Davies :) He seems so straight-laced.

  32. Saff says:

    Pep…damn it…

  33. Sarah, Madrid says:


  34. suzie says:

    in this post I think it's more of a "Ewwwwwww not if you paid me kind of way" at the choice of player lol.

    • Miss Lampard says:

      This is a your choice but also a your problem, girl…Put you thumb down if you want..But please don't do the moralist and be respectful for the others opinions please.

  35. @mezz98 says:

    Zlatan, although I don't think I really hate him. He just sort of annoys me-lol. But yowza is he hot!

    • Gladys says:

      I know what you mean. A total jerk but for some reason I still find him totally ugly-sexy. I'm half-Croatian like him and he reminds me of some arrogant dork I would have gone to high school with and who my parents would love. I also really like a huge nose. Would love to punch his at times, too.

      • chay says:

        OMG I LOVE HIS BIG NOSE!!! *high five* :-D

        but i don't think i would punch it, i would do something else hehe

      • Lilly says:

        I'm all for Z, he's so wrong he's right
        But I gotta say, I don't find him ugly at all, not even ugly-sexy
        His face is actually a work of art methinks!
        And as for the body, words fail me.

  36. pepacandela says:

    sigh….Luis Figo

    feel horrible just typing that.

  37. Gabs says:

    How messed up are we? The popular response seems to be Jose Mourinho, the sad thing is I totally agree!! There's just something about he being a jerk and yet honest in a very rude way that is appealing, which brings me again to the fact we really have issues, why is that a good thing? beats me!!

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      You know why? although alot of us don't like what he says, but we know anything he says there is something in truth in it and no-one would dare to say whatever he states, he knows he will get into trouble, BUT he doesnt care as long he is defending his team from his point of view for example: when media refused to talk to Karanka in press conference because they wanted Mou, next day after the classico Mou didnt let go and defended Karanka.
      When you look at Jose as observer is differs from when you are a fan of his club, you feel he would anything to defend his players on the pitch, he shows them support, he will be their voice even he is the guy to be blamed in the end, sometime he be should more professional than he is I agree with that. However, I really can't imagine the football world without him now, he is something else.

      • ToysForBots says:

        I agree with this. I do still think he's a jerk, but it works for him somehow. Or it could just be that he was born to be a bona fide silver fox and it's impossible not to find him attractive, even if he does have an abrasive personality. I think he's really supportive and caring with his players, though, so he's got his good side too.

  38. freddiegirl says:

    Zidane and his headbutt of doom only made him more attractive in my book. When Jose was still at Chelsea I was ashamed of my love for him but now that he's at Real…nah, not any more! I'll watch any team he manages.

    Having said that…um..Ashley Cole. Yup. And I'm an Arsenal fan to boot which makes me feel dirty….

    • xbabyshakesx says:

      don't worry love he use to be a gunner back in the days ^^

      • ciotog says:

        Yeah that's the problem. Left his boyhood club for a rival team in the same city because Arsenal insulted him by only offering him a paltry 55k a week. No, just no.

  39. LizzyHS90 says:

    Andy Carroll. I really don't "dislike" him but I don't really care for him but underneath that long ponytail he is pretty cute.

  40. Bri says:

    …..*cringes* Giovanni van Bronckhorst. there. i said it….oooh I feel dirty.

  41. Kristine says:

    Victor Valdez…sigh.

    • ciotog says:

      At the barca celebration with his son – ovaries gone!! And then those DT pics…
      The things I would do…

      • black widow says:

        absolutely valdez for me, too. he's like the anti-iker (whom i am in love with). i want to smack him SO hard for some of his passive-aggressive jackassery, but then after that …

        • bri_saldana says:

          I KNOW…sexy NON-Iker jack-ass! Thank you Valdez, for making me hate myself!

        • xoWinnie says:

          LOL! i'd take out the passive and just leave the aggressive.
          which could be good if you're into that ;)

          • xbabyshakesx says:

            SAME HERE!!! i hate Valdes but every time he does a topless photoshoot i completely want him! just think hot angry sex!

  42. i'dsodohim says:

    Jose Mourinho. I'd so do him in a heartbeat.

  43. FloraJane says:

    Right. That's what I"m saying- that that's the way people use the thumbs up/down, but the incredulity comes from things like what Caitlin said- she got a thumbs down for wishing someone Happy Birthday!! On his Happy Birthday post!! Youve got to admit- that's pretty f*ck*ed up! LOL! I guess it's best to just laugh about it, right? :)

    • suzie says:

      They could have just clicked the wrong button by accident- I have done that in the past and you can't unlike/dislike sadly. I was just trying to point out though that it's a tiny bit hypocritcal of people to complain about someone else expessing their opinion about their opinion.

  44. suzie says:

    I don't care how hot a player is, if he's been skanky in the past I just will not go there. I like the good guys, even if it's just for a night.

  45. I'dsohitthat says:

    Ogod yes!!

  46. LisaB says:

    Jose Mourinho…. I am so ashamed.

  47. IrishBlue says:

    Andy Carroll. His 'misbehaving' history speaks for itself but…..DAMN IT I WOULD SO DO HIM…….

  48. Leya_S says:

    CR7, Zlatan, and (dare I say it) Robinho!! *hides face*
    All three of them drive me effing crazy, but I'd still hit it.
    Oh, and Jose Mourinho.
    Sometimes the things this man says I'm like, "Really????" But still…..

    • MelB says:

      Unfortunately with your choices you have 50% chance of an unplanned pregnancy. Do yourself a favor, double wrap or your ass is trapped.

  49. lorena_yGp says:

    Yoann Gourcuff- removing his shirt rarely!!! :-) ))

  50. FloraJane says:

    I don't feel like this really belongs on this post, but I'm going to share it anyway. My one and only football love is and always has been John Terry, ever since the first time I saw him play. I know loads of people love to hate him (including and maybe especially on this site) but I love him from the top of the spikiest little hair on his beautiful head to the bottom of his favourite pair of boots! He smiles and my whole world is better. Seriously. Dramatic, yes, but true nonetheless. I adore him beyond words. And while there are other ballers I find attractive- Frank Lampard (love the two of them together!), Steven Gerrard, etc., the only one I truly love is John. He's obviously not perfect, but no one is. I think that only endears him to me more. And I'm okay if people don't get that. We all love who we love, right? And I love HIM. :)

    • Summer says:

      When he smiles there is no one that could resist, when he smiles the whole world falls. He's the most beautiful and fantastic smile that I have ever seen in my whole life, so perfect, so beautiful and marvellous that makes me swoon. I do not want ever to leave him. He's so important, I need him, 'cause I have choose him. In your life you can like so much men, but only one stole your heart. He's mine. I really LOVE him!

      • FloraJane says:

        Yes, I agree! I see him smiling or laughing and I just automatically smile, too, even if I've had the most crap day ever! :)

  51. chay says:

    i actually have no issues with his fights and unsavourty incidences. They just make me want to have my way with him and show him who's really boss ;-)

  52. chay says:

    i have to agree with you on that one. i love to hate him–he's such a pompous f*ck face but he's portuguese, so i have a hard time hating him entirely.

  53. xoWinnie says:

    Gerard Pique.
    i love him and hate him at the same time.
    i'd love to slap him for some things he says,
    but i have a feeling if his shirt came off, everything would be cool lol

  54. Venice says:

    Drogba… *blush*

    • Leaaa says:

      but I would say he's actually decent off the pitch! unlike others eh…

      • blitzenTO says:

        Yeah, much as I think Didi is a whiny diving drama queen on the pitch, he is an amazing person off the pitch, and that's what really counts. I would so hit that.

        • Rosie says:

          I have to agree with everyone else. He's just not enough of ass, that we know of, off pitch. At first I didn't find him particularly attractive, but then I saw a picture of him with a wide, genuine smile . . .

  55. Tia says:

    Nando…….he'd have some serious Bi**h face on while getting down, and giggle like a school girl afterward!…. and of course his good buddy Sergio will come over to console me when Fer goes home to his lovely family.

  56. Linda says:

    I feel dirty and wrong about my JT problem. It's his love of Lamps – it gets me in all the wrong/right places. Urgh! Mmmmmm….

  57. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Xavi! if he just keep his mouth shut about my club, I really have a weakness toward him, he is one of hottest footballers I saw in suits.

  58. Sam says:

    I'm a madridista so it pains me to say this but I do have a soft (secret…well not so much now) spot for Xavi… well IF he could keep his mouth shut! :-)

    • Kait says:

      Oh I completely agree! I feel like a traitor but I love Xavi!

    • Emily says:

      But if he keeps his mouth shut, how else will he be able to **** and *** ???

      These are things that must be considered.

  59. Lotte says:

    Zlatan. Sometimes (many times) his behaviour is quite the opposite from what I think is acceptable and desirable. But man is he something else!! He´s arrogant, ill-tempered, likes to kick his teammates for fun and he's is a bit homophobic. I hate everything of that. But I can't get rid of him.

  60. Jane says:

    It's no surprise that David Beckham has been linked to several affairs (he covers up them up pretty nicely) which is signature douchebag move but good lord, I want him bad

    • Caitlin says:

      I'd have to agree with you on that one. His affairs (however many of them there were) certainly don't add to his appeal and his voice doesn't really do it for me either (prefer a man with a deep voice), but I sure as hell wouldn't kick him out of bed, lol.

      • chay says:

        i agree with you, esp on the voice bit! it's quite un-manly, but i wouldn't kick him out of bed either :-)

  61. Summer says:

    It's strange but I fell in love with JT on 29th January 2010 (do you remember what's happened in this day?) I thanks God that put on my way a man like him. To me he's the best that I could have desired…Love him!

    • Lotte says:

      Why the thumbs down on a post like this? Jeez, we're supposed to be a bit politically incorrect here! Those thumbs down gets ridicuolus.

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Agree, thumbs down is getting ridicuolus, let the girl express her opinion and desire!

        • FloraJane says:

          People thumbs down you if they disagree with you, or they don't like what/who you like, or they just maybe don't like the poster for whatever reason. And if we happen to be in the minority here, we'll get the thumbs downs. Oh well, just says we're different, right? LOL Share that love Summer! And everyone else too for that matter- I love to hear who people love.

      • Caitlin says:

        Totally! I got the thumbs-down yesterday for wishing Iker Happy Birthday.

        • chay says:

          lame! yeah, sometimes people get super puritanical on here. I agree with Lotte and that we totally can be un-PC within reason

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          oh! lol, was it in Iker b-day post, what he/she expect for you to write over-there?

          • Caitlin says:

            Exactly!!! Maybe she/he was put off because I referred to him as 'gorgeous eye candy', lol!

            • Sarah, Madrid says:

              He is THE gorgeous eye candy! He is THE definition of eye-candy! His smile lines, his profile, his dreamy look, oh he is perfect.
              Sorry, get carried away with the Iker love

      • Summer says:

        Thank you girls…I completely agree with you! :) Everyone should express his/her opinions