August 1st, 2011

The Sizzle Query: It Should Be Hot… But It Isn’t

Category Ballers on Breaks, English Premier League, La Liga, The Sizzle Query

Image: PacificCoastNews.com/Zimbio.

Having cheerily assured the footballing world last week that we’re happy to accept swimming garmentage in any format, we’re rather chastened to learn that fate has already taken exception to our over-confidence.

It’s not that there is anything inherently wrong with the white …er…’pants’ that Dani Alves wore aboard a private yacht in Formentera days ago whilst on holiday with his family. It’s just that his tighty whities don’t evoke the normal feeling that we get when confronted by a scantily clad footballer. The same thing can be said for this ‘candid’ image of Sergio Aguero in cycling shorts (left). We just feel kind of empty.

Are we losing our mojo? Is it an epidemic? Will it spread until even pictures of Yoann Gourcuff’s lustrous lashes leave us unmoved?

Kickettes, help us!

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10 Responses to “The Sizzle Query: It Should Be Hot… But It Isn’t”

  1. MadameGourcuff says:
    August 2, 2011 at 08:30

    i'll just pretend i never looked at this picture…lol

  2. Tapioca says:
    August 2, 2011 at 04:12

    Davi Alves will never, EVER, be attractive. He looks like he should be guarding a bridge from goats somewhere…

  3. Cris_7 says:
    August 1, 2011 at 16:06

    This really looks weird and disgusting i'm sorry Alves! http://img166.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=118410… http://img211.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=840884…
    here are some photos too the beard and the tummy should goo!!

  4. Ninanoir says:
    August 1, 2011 at 15:56

    The boys are way too oblivious. The secret is to leave something to the imagination, that is part of the allure. Look at the previous pics of Nando in the red swim trunks, that definitely stirred a lot in my imagination… You don't want to give it all away too easily ;)

  5. Yawns says:
    August 1, 2011 at 14:54

    Meh, Kickette is right. Nothing inspiring in these photos. Sad, really.

  6. Zahara says:
    August 1, 2011 at 14:45

    this is not the greatest pic of dani…but he just cant do anything wrong for me! i love him!

  7. Wow says:
    August 1, 2011 at 14:18

    Is this suppose to be some kind of sick joke or is that really Dani? so when some of them players retire is this what we're going to be looking at blank muscle mass? God save us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Aimee1 says:
    August 1, 2011 at 13:52

    Looks like a diaper.

  9. Bri says:
    August 1, 2011 at 13:34

    Sorry to be cliche…but I think the day Yoann leaves us unmoved is the day hell freezes over…

  10. Sarah, Madrid says:
    August 1, 2011 at 13:13

    Sorry, Oh this is just wrong Alves!