May 31st, 2011

The Sizzle Query: Public Displays of Affection

Steven Liverpool captain cops a handful of wife's rear WAG bum

Image Credit: BIG Pictures/KEYSTONE Press.

Normally, when the hearts and hormones of a footballer and a lady align, they can’t help keeping their heavy-petting paws off each other. Unfortunately/fortunately for the general viewing public, this is sometimes at the expense of any number of recently-consumed catered meals.

Because we field questions about the topic all the time, it’s time we give our stance on the matter: certain activities, such as lovey dovey thumb wrestling, are okay in moderation. Tonsil inspection by tongue, however, is a whole ‘nother story that runs the fine risk of waking the sleeping giant in our tummies that is last night’s tequila. Copping a quick grope of your wife’s perky bum? Hey – if she’s still got it then by all means. On the other hand, smooching to sway public opinion is an iffy scenario even for the sappiest of Sugar Plum fairies.

Follow the spotted-with-toxic-materials pink brick ‘READ MORE’ for our full analysis on this issue, Kickettes. Also, keep in mind that the thoughts/views expressed here do not relate to our sentiments on bromantic pairings, because by and large, we approve of manlove.

Just as long as 1/2 of the pair is good looking. That’s a make or break, obvi.

Carry on, Mr & Mrs Kaka. Hand holding is a-okay for all of eternity in our books.


Hand and face holding mid-smooch/general public disruption due to whiplash = questionable. Doing said actions after the two of you were engaging in full-on gawking and groping while on stage= not acceptable.


La Liga high scorer in Portugal on holiday vacation

The Gucci ball cap is easily detestable, but don’t let it confuse you, Kickettes. We feel as good as Irina Shayk’s ‘who farted?!’ face looks, which we’re fine with. And if you’re asking for our thoughts on Ms. Shayk picking (what seems to be) a front wedgie in front of her boyfriend’s baby? Meh, we’ll reserve our right to judge harshly for one activity we ain’t down with: her cigarette smoking (last photo in the slick sideshow).


Do you agree with our adoring admiration for certain kissing couples, or do you feel apathetic anguish towards fondling of any kind?

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  12. yeah, I agree, but not like that, very public.

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  27. coco says:

    love Stevie G…. but his wife.. urks me to bits.. S&P will she is on tours and he plays… got to get it when you can… K&C… a normal loving couple.. priceless..
    PS…. whats the deal is theRAMOS hiding… I need pictures ladies.. he posts the dorkiest pic (but I love them) lol

  28. Phoebe says:

    the pic of Stevie is hard to find. i mean i've seen it before but just this one. and Boy! he's got his way of showing affection without even trying hard!!…

  29. Mony says:

    Never cared for Shakira and Pique from the beginning. Still don't

    However, Kaka and his wife just look so cute together. My gosh they look so in love.

  30. Sarah, Madrid says:

    I am little surprised for not including some pictures of Iker and Sarah, we know how much Iker like showing his public display of affection. Made it perfectly clear last year and until this second he still does.

    However I appericate Kickette for not including it.

  31. Kristine says:

    I think Stevie's ass grab is cute and sexy.

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  32. sami says:

    i never thought Shakira was such a pathetic person, i mean after she hooked up with Pique you get to see a side of her thats so embarresing and pathetic . she follows barcelona like a stalker and he thinks he so cool because he's Shakrias boyfriend. Sad couple, they shouldn't get more media attention !

  33. xbabyshakesx says:

    I love Pique and Shakira, but please keep ur PDA to yourself! I don't want to actually see what its like when you two have sex! please keep that to yourself!

    but Kaka and Carol are just the most perfect couple! gah i'm soo jealous!!!

  34. Crackers says:

    I can't be jealous of the Kakás, they are too adorable even if I'm not 100% on board with their religious views.

    As for CR7 and Irina – they're STILL together? I kind of like her goofy face in that pic (yeah, I find it funny that a model makes goofy faces). PDA doesn't really bother me unless people go really OTT with it, and I'm even willing to forgive Piquira for theirs because they're in a honeymoon period of sorts. And of course, all handholding is adorable.

  35. MadridistaJenn says:

    Awww, such cute WAG-baller lovin'! I'm admittedly jealous of sensible gestures of affection, even Stevie's palmful of ass.

    As for the Pikira/Shique coupling, its snowballing into a hot mess. At first, I thought they were adorable, but now that its so public and so touchy-feely, I can't take it. Its like a cupcake with sugar and gum drops and more sugar on top and its bound to cause cavities. Its the "honeymoon period" on drugs.
    I have to agree with Pique when he said to Shakira-"¡Para ya, para ya!"…

  36. chay says:

    I think i am the only one who is not bothered by shakira and piqué's relationship and their behaviour toward one another. They're not humping on the sidewalk, nor are they giving each other hickies on camera. After being married for 11 years to a lawyer, shakira is with a hot, young footballer and i give her total kudos for that. Piqué has managed to woo a very famous singer who is really beautiful and has her own career and has had one for a long time.

    I don't dislike kaka and his wife at all and that picture of them is very sweet, but keep in mind they are also religious fanatics who give their money to a brasilian jesus cult. Their displays in public will be definitely tempered.

    I will probably get a hoard of thumbs downs for just stating facts, but i don't really care because it is the truth.

    • footballandme says:

      Shakira was never MARRIED to her ex, she said that they acted like a married couple and didnt need a piece of paper to show that.

    • Sergz says:

      Kaká is a catholic, and catholics don't have "cults" or "sects". There is just one, single church and that's it. And so what if they give money to their church. I do too?

      • chay says:

        he is evangelical christian, a part of a sect that was founded in 1986, A Igreja Renascer em Cristo.

        i don't care whether they give their money to their church, i have a spiritual tradition that i follow and i make donations as well. That wasn't my point. My point was that these are two couples who come from different sets of values and backgrounds that dictate more or less how they behave. Perhaps i should have stated it that way from the get-go. I guess i was feeling irked that everyone was railing on shakira and piqué when it is clear that they are really happy being together. They are not evangelical religionists like kaka and his wife, which is why they do not act like them.

  37. Lily says:

    Pique and Shakira need to stop. Their relationship is looking more and more like a desperate cry for attention. These are two people that kept their private lives private and are now leaving hotel blinds open, making out in public and grabbing each other in front of thousands of people who probably didn't want to see it. This "relationship" has crossed the line into unacceptable behavior.

    Also I don't judge Irina for adjusting herself in public, sometimes you just have to fix it.

  38. Clare says:

    Shakira and Pique act so much like two 15-year-olds dating that I'm half convinced he's going to give her a promise ring one of these days. The pic of Stevie and Alex is cute though – he's just being affectionate rather than showy and over the top. I hate seeing Pique, who's usually so funny and full of personality, being part of such a boring and nauseating couple.

  39. hailtree says:

    Mr. and Mrs. Kaka look gorge, I feel more "awwww" than "argh".

    Stevie's ass-grab is kinda adorable.:p

  40. @AgnesWonka says:

    I agree with this! too much snogging is gross….and looks fake!!

  41. Kat says:

    I know this is about the couples but did you see Bojan's outfit in those pictures? He looks like he raided Romeo Beckham's closet! Hilarious!

    Anyway… Kaka and Caroline are so lovely, it hurts. They're almost up there with the Alonsos (Nagore and Xabi are untouchable in the top spot, INMHO).When I see them together all lovey-dovey I temporarily forget about the Twitter fiasco Caroline started up with Pellegrini …

    And Shakira and Pique… Ugggggh. It bodes ill for them if I'm more offended by their kissing picture than Stevie G.'s groping of Alex. I'm actually surprised how I'm not eeeked out by that. Maybe Shakira and Pique hogged all my disgust.

  42. Winnie Mata says:

    PDA has never bothered me much.
    not unless it's the kind of ass grabbing,
    tongue wrestling, ta-ta groping, constant beach frolicking that some people seem to enjoy
    (on a fairly regular basis!)

  43. Donna C says:

    So sick of seeing Pikira or whatever the hell they are being called. FAKE relationship just like Cronnie and Irina. No reason two adults should be going around make out that much in public unless they are trying to prove a point to someone. I love Kaka and Caroline on the other hand classy couple

    • Eliz says:

      Proving a point to the paparazzi , Pikira & CR&7 are seriously trying to prove– look 'we are in love'. True love need not be displayed like this

  44. aps says:

    Kaka and Caroline are too cute. Love them!

  45. gin_in_teacups says:

    I think the one of Stevie and Alex is totally cute. Which is odd because I'm usually anti-grope. I blame their recent baby announcement – it's making me feel all soft and mushy when usually I'd be harsh and judge-y.

    Kaka and Caroline are also melting my heart.

  46. mochara says:

    Ahh Kaka I'm not even jealous, they're so perfect it's unreal… And I know this sounds weird but I'm loving Stevies hand-to-bum squeez it's adorable!

  47. Emily says:

    Shakira and Piqué are quickly becoming THAT couple. I get wanting to flaunt your relationship but they kind of look like they're milking it. That's enough.

  48. Nienke says:

    I always thought I was the only one disgusted by Shakira and Pique, and I'm glad to see that not everyone thinks they're terribly cute.
    In the beginning they were keeping it a bigtime secret and now suddenly it can't be public enough? They post pictures of each other with each other in twitter, all the time, they talk about each other, all the time, she changes her lyrics, he talks about her in his Barça speech, and then then make out on stage?
    She cancelled a performance she was supposed to give here in July, she didn't give a reason for it. I'm highly suspecting she just wanted to be with Pique.
    I used to love her, now she just disgusts me. All they do is make out.

  49. JA7 says:

    Kaka & caroline have to be one of my fave couples. They look so beautiful and romantic together *sigh* Damn Pique and shakira cannot keep their hands off of each other lol!

    • @DebStimson says:

      I agree…Kaka & Caroline…what a lovely couple and so obviously much in love. <3

    • BlackRose says:

      And Caroline is such a flawlessly beautiful lady! And I'm sure it's all natural, which makes her even more lovely.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      kaka & Carloine, Alonso & Nagore, my fav two couples. They are so sweet and you can feel the love in their relation without the excessive need to show yeah talking about you *pique and shakira*.

  50. MsMe says:

    Notice how Shakira is always grabbing Pique by the neck. She strangles the poor guy. In every way it seems she wants to own him but it doesn´t work that way. At some point he wants his freedom and peace back.

    • BlackRose says:

      lol you know what, I think you're right. Her public displays of affection always have a heavily possessive touch about them. It can get a bit embarrassing and even look fake when overdone, although I still prefer this type of WAG to the dozens of fame-seeking and/or money-chasing Irinas out there.

  51. JNas says:

    Pique & Shakira are the WORST. At first I though they were cute, now they bother me intensely. I feel like they're constantly making a spectacle out of their relationship… it looks needy and fake. You're not 14, no need for the middle school level of PDA. And please, don't ever change the words to 'Hips Don't Lie' to "Oh, Pique when you talk like that" ever again. That's just all sorts of NO.

    • Shiv says:

      couldn't have said it better! it's really nauseating !

      • JNas says:

        I live in Spain and after being subjected to it more than needed, I have come to the conclusion that every gossip mag with them in it, should come with a barf bag.

    • they both need publicity as simple as that

    • @DebStimson says:

      "And please, don't ever change the words to 'Hips Don't Lie' to "Oh, Pique when you talk like that" ever again"

      PLEASE tell me she didn't do that?! That is just too much. O_o

      • GinaM says:

        I feel like they want to prove a point or something, ya it started off cute when Shakira posted the picture of them

        Then all the other stuff kinda is getting too much lol

      • JNas says:

        Oh no… she did… during her Poland concert.

        • Kat says:

          Whaaaaat?!?!?! I'm hoping against hope that it means something in Spanish that we don't understand. If not. *baaaaaaaaaaarf!!!* Goodness me!

          Like everyone else said, it was cute at first, but this is getting ridiculous! It's bordering on gross!

        • @DebStimson says:

          Blah…where's that barf bag?!

      • Ciotog says:

        Then you probably don't want to know that she changed the words of Loca from Soy loca con mi tigre to Soy loca con mi Pique at the Barcelona concert;-)

        • LarissaxNavas says:

          Ohmygash… indeed it WAS cute at first, but here in the Netherlands even man know everything about their relationship, even my dad who don't even like football! but knows more of Shakira and Piqué then about the match self… gash seriously, it irritates me! xd it's just too.. much! and about hips don't lie I already know, but that she did the same by Loca.. it really goes to far.. pff *sigh* it looks like one big ''I need publicity'' act..

    • Winnie Mata says:

      LOLOLOL! she actually sang that?

      • Wow says:

        omg, what the hell is wrong with Shakira? i swear after reading what she's doing to her songs am embarrassed for her! Even Remeo & Juliet did not go that far lol piquera!

    • Tula says:

      ‘Oh Pique when you talk like that’?! Oh god…

    • Khomala Ramal says:

      too much too much too much. And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one feeling that way…was a fan of Piquira but now….*barf*

  52. I can't tell if the guy looking at Shapique is disgusted or amused by them. I just love this couple!

    • LuvinBale says:

      I was thinking the same thing!
      He looks angry?
      Wants to punch the two of them in the face?
      Maybe all of the above.

    • Jessica says:

      I don't know if you coined 'Shapique' or not, but it's the first I'm hearing of it. Regardless, can they please be referred to as such from now on? Not usually for Bennifer type names, but that one's hilarious, it sounds like some sort of ridiculous dog, which, given the number of groan-inducing puppy faces they are making at each other, seems fairly appropriate.

  53. Americus Killaponius says:

    Shakira needs to take WAG lessons. Poor girl does not know what she is doing. Hey, Carla's has a huge window of time that just opened up! Maybe she could show her the ropes…..

  54. Shiv says:

    Aw come on Pique and Shakira give it a rest already !