November 12th, 2010

The Sizzle Query: Tobias v Bastian Schweinsteiger

Well, now isn’t this a bit of a dilemma, Kickettes? After careful examination of the above photograph, we have reached the controversial conclusion that we possibly might find Tobias Schweinsteiger (left), brother of Bayern Munich babe Bastian (right), marginally hotter than his sibling.

Let’s discuss.

This is hard for us. We love Schweini. His sad face. His ability to look hot in the most alarming of trouser wear. His abs (left).

But we genuinely feel that the Schweinsteiger bone structure, an integral part in our infatuation formulation, is worn better by senior Schweini Tobias, (currently strutting his stuff as a forward for SSV Jahn Regensburg in the third tier of German football.)

The only way to deal with our confusion? Throw it out to the Kickette army, like a piece of meat to a pack of wild, hungry beasts who happen to have very good manicures.

Go on then, who’s hotter out of the Schweini boys? Tell us. But play nice, please.

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83 Responses to “The Sizzle Query: Tobias v Bastian Schweinsteiger”

  1. Kylee says:


  2. pipihitam says:

    BOTH! am a gemini so i refuse to choose. BOTH. we girls have the ability to multitask. ever watch porn, babes? X)

  3. celesumi says:

    tobias in the classic sense, but really, bastian all the way. i mean..they both look great and dress like a boss, but netting a goal from midfield, well that just makes me want to jump onto the pitch and steal him (bastian). but to be honest…i'd take one of each please!

  4. aps says:

    Maruinally? Tobias looks way hotter here. Bastion didn’t inherit the good looking genes by any stretch

  5. mrs4ramos says:

    iam abit off topic with this as this is about tobias and basti BUT (maybe its not that off) ANYWAYS i came across this video the other day on youtube and its basically a turkish soap opera (my mum loves watching it lol) and the main guy, dont know his name otherwise would have put his name up here, could be PIQUE'S long-lost brother (maybe even twin) but u guys have to watch this out & let me what you think…( especially check out from 3:07min)


  6. elylovesfootball says:

    Bastian!! I love him too much cause he's really funny and lovely and also i always found him really attractive..
    So i'm gonna say Basti all the way! And even if Tobias is older i think Bastian looks more manly

  7. Iris says:

    toabis lol can't believe you didn't know him before ^^
    he's not the best baller though…. he played 2. bundesliga once but i guess just because he's a schweinsteiger ^^ probably he should have stayed with skiing ^^
    btw as far as i know his girlfriends name is also sara ^^

  8. senora ramos says:

    Tobais for me!! i've never been much of a bastian fan. boy kickette, i bet you ladies are glad you did that post about kasper so you could find out about all these other related hotties!!

  9. Nihaal28 says:

    Wow bastian looks way older than him . In this picture his brother looks hotter

  10. annelise says:

    GOD! Bastiann!!

  11. beanzie says:

    in this pic, Tobias for sure <3

  12. aninjasdream says:

    Bastian. No question. Period.

  13. cheekybackheel says:

    Talent plays an enormous part in the hotness equation for me, so Basti is always going to win any battle. Tobias may have the more traditionally pleasing features, but Basti's utter uniqueness is a major part of his charm. There's just no one like him, not on the pitch, and not in appearance! So I'm gonna go against the tide here and say Basti, cause he's still the one that make my stomach feel like it's got a passel of Mexican jumping beans throwing a party. :)

  14. Steph says:

    They're both pretty cute, really, but if I had to choose? Tobias, FTW. Just look at him in that pic! The boy is gorgeous. :D

  15. Steph says:

    haha, I agree. I didn't think he was either, but lately I've been taking a liking to Basti. :P

  16. Anna says:

    DAMN!!!! his brother is so f 'in SEXY why doesnt he play soccer for the national team as well?
    I mean they both good to look at!!!! i cant believe that he's older than Bast he looks way younger.But over all id say their parent had some very goreeous genes in them to have such beautiful children!!!!!

  17. Leya_S says:

    Jeez, this is just so not fair. How can I choose…I'm gonna go with Tobias bc he's new, and me likes new toys, but Bastian is looking fantastic in this pic!

    Also, I think this could be filed under another one of those S.O.T.H. posts, Kickette, bc i mean they're both seriously hot.

  18. SoccerLoverrrr says:

    Tobias! He is fineeeeee!

  19. Clairey_Lou says:

    Bastian :D Tobi is very hot, but Bastian just edges him out

  20. Nicky says:

    Tobi, but Basti is so funny, and that makes him an attractive person. :D

  21. Ashley says:

    Though i think Tobias is cute, Unai is just super sexy and gorgeous.

  22. Emme says:

    Tobias. I didn't even have to think twice.

  23. oh~zeel99 says:

    I absolutely love Basti but he got the talent and his brother got the looks Toby is yummy <3

  24. soccerlove says:

    tobias totally!

  25. Ninjess says:

    100% Tobias.

  26. snowy says:

    Bastian for me! Based on this photo, he's a manly man to Tobias' pretty boy. I could look at the various photos of Schweini in lederhosen forever. Is there a third brother hiding away somewhere we can throw into this debate?

  27. First I find out Iker Casillas has a hotter younger brother in Unai, now I find out Bastian Schweinsteiger has a hotter brother in Tobias, how have they been kept so well hidden and please tell me there's more hot brothers out there?! ;)

  28. McRed says:

    I was going to say Tobias but I think I'd be scared to get between him and his army of Kickette fans!!!

  29. Winnie Mata says:

    LMAO! well, he can't have EVERYTHING!

  30. Winnie Mata says:


    that's not even fair to Schweini lovers!
    i mean, i love him to death but Tobias is HAWT!

    i just wished his name wasn't "Tobias"…reminds me of my best friend…who's a girl…

  31. I totally agree Kickettes. There's even a group on Facebook haha!!

  32. JVD says:

    Tobias Schweinsteiger and it is not close. Bastian has the thighs, but Tobs has the face.

  33. Whitney says:

    I'm gonna have to go with Tobias! But, Is it weird that I like Bastien's nose? I have a theory about huge honkers!

  34. kaldy says:

    Tobias , yummy

  35. eeraaa says:

    Tobias is a total cutie! Haha.

    Speaking of cuties Kickette, this is a bit off topic, but has anyone seen this video of Gerard Pique? He's so adorable! Not to mention hot. Another reason I should change my career track to physio. Even if he's just throwing stuff at me, we'll still be in contact momentarily. Ahhh, what a dream.…

    • Leya_S says:

      HAHAHA I totally saw this!
      And on the one hand I was thinking "Wtf? This is exactly like when I go places and stupid high school boys are doing dumb stuff like that and I can't stand it." but on the other I was like "…but it's Geri and it's just hilarious bc he's so adorable…….and because, well, he's Geri!!"

    • eeraaa says:

      Exactly! Had it been anyone else, it would have probably been obnoxious, but once again it's GERI! I can never find him annoying, just adorable. And hot. Haha!

  36. ami says:

    hilarious.this might sway all the tobias votes. . . but it's a couple years old.…

  37. kitziebitziespider says:

    Basti ftw. I dunno. I mean, at a first glance, people might say that Tobias is hotter but after watching Basti play on the field, when he gets frustrated and sweaty and angry and sad and..and..just being himself, I find him hotter. :D *drooool*

  38. SnowQueen says:

    Tobias :D

  39. Summer says:

    Definitely I'll chose Toby but I also like Bastian, he's a great footballer and a pretty man…However I don't go crazy for them…

  40. suzie says:

    Tobias, hands down. Such a cutie.

  41. Anne says:

    I guess Tobias has the best looks but there's something about Basti what makes me think he's hotter.

  42. Dru says:

    Is this the week for serving up baller brothers? First Casillas the Younger, and now Schweini the Elder- though I'd still take Schweini junior, he seems like he might be more fun.

  43. mimi_blanco says:

    ill totally have Tobias, thank you :) )))

  44. Jen says:

    Tobias for sure! What a doll……could be the one to get me interested in the Bundesliga!

  45. Tobias definitely. Schweini never really did it for me.


  46. gin_in_teacups says:

    In this photo definitely Tobias. But never let it be said that I don't do my research, so I Googled, just to be certain, ya know, scientifically. And I do believe that Tobias wins it. Yum! Sorry Bas, love you anyway!

  47. katarche101 says:

    Okay, I went googling for pix of Tobias, and based on my "research" I can only conclude that this photo flatters him. Honestly, I'd take Bastian any day in preference, and I even think he's actually better looking. There are also a lot of photos out there labeled Tobias which are in fact Bastian. Also a Facebook comm called "I want to marry Tobias Schweinsteiger" believe it or not….!

  48. BarceLisa says:

    I may be in the minority here but I prefer Bastian. Sure Tobias is (slightly) better looking but there are more good times to be had with Bastian.

  49. fieryheart says:

    Tobias looks kind of like Robin Van Persie from the side.
    Anyway, why choose one when you can have both ;)

  50. Simone says:

    Most definitely hotter

  51. Homeskillet07 says:

    TOBIAS WINS! What is it with the younger brothers? first Unai now Tobias?

  52. BackinBlack says:

    Bastian…his amazing football skills make him hotter.
    In this picture Tobias looks better, but after stalking more photos of him, I have to go with Bastian…Tobias' chin is weird :P

  53. tigerS says:


  54. hereforthenando says:

    I'm a huge Schweini fan, but damn, Tobias is working it. A quick (or, you know, a little too extensive) google image search has confirmed what I already knew: the older brother has it going ON.

  55. Lashes says:

    In this picture Tobias by miles, Bastian doesn't stand a chance! But they can always have a rematch, perhaps in tiny shorts in a pool of chocolate..

  56. laligaforladies says:

    Honestly, Bastian has never really done it for me. But based on above picture, Tobias is definitely yum.

  57. CarmenOcio says:

    glad to see i'm not the only one with this dilemma! but if i had to choose, i'd probably choose tobias. Bastian looks as if he wouldn't take much seriously, whereas tobias looks like he's a joker, but knows when to stop :P

  58. blitzenTO says:

    Tobias edges Schweini out for me, but why choose? Can't we have our Black Forest cake and eat his brother too?

  59. blake2108 says:

    Easy decision


  60. Ofeily9 says:

    Need another picture of Tobias but he looks prettier :)

  61. MadameGourcuff says:

    tobias is hotter