October 7th, 2009

The Sizzle Query: What’s Your Deal Breaker?

Jose Mourinho

We’re going to use Inter manager and quality silver fox Jose Mourinho as our case study for today’s Sizzle Query.

Here he is as usual, dapper and stylish, all swarthy and salt & pepper, with a bank balance to make your black AmEx sing daily through the halls of Selfridges.


Jose MourinhoDo all of these wonderful, happy-making qualities outweigh his hairy monkey knuckles? Regardless of the excellent dinner table banter, would you be unable to finish your caviar with extra vodka starter once you saw the hands?

In short: are these knuckles a deal breaker?

And if not, we’re curious to know what your deal breaker is? A hairy back? A grill of gold teeth? Bad breath? Miguel Torres could step to us and if he happened to have a pinky fingernail that was curiously grown an inch longer than the others, we’d be outtie. Just us?

Or, are you much less superficial, and would only cut off your dream ‘baller if he did something totally unforgivable, like moved to a rival club? Do tell.

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32 Responses to “The Sizzle Query: What’s Your Deal Breaker?”

  1. Anna says:

    I love hair on a mans arms, its the sign of high sex drive. Always good!

  2. jamilina says:

    mamaly which picture ??? link please :D

    in my opinion the absolute deal breaker is bad breath

  3. jamilina says:

    mamaly which picture ????? LINK PLEASE !!!


    the absolute deal breaker in my opinion is bad breath

  4. mamaly says:

    have you seen the picture were he is changing his shirt. sweet

  5. a_sua_princesa says:

    I don't care at all about any of his hairy parts…

    In my opinion he's PERFECT.

  6. anon says:

    The only thing that could stop me from wanting aggressive, animalistic sex with Jose would be if he became Liverpool’s manager and won the league.

  7. FootballerChick43-"Mrs.Ballack" says:

    Jose’s knuckles don’t bother me, actually, which is weird because generally I would refer to the posessor of said knuckles as an “ape” or “monkey” by this point. Alas, Jose is far too classy for that.

    The dealbreaker for me is generally proving multiple times that you are an idiot, both with ballers and those not so blessed but still attractive. I can tolerate a lot of things. Dirty nails? I’ll get after them. Back hair? Meet Mr. Razor. You can change appearance. You can’t change stupidity.

  8. bam! says:

    Oh being a Chelsea player is pretty much the ultimate dealbreaker for me…move away from the club & you’re back in my good books but for the time that you play or work at that awful club you officially do not even register to me on the radar of attractiveness.

    Being a Chelsea player outweighs all else & is the ultimate deal breaker for me, you couldn’t even pay me to date a Chelsea player.

  9. rosso_neri says:

    Hmm, well I can deal with the body hair issue (some is nice, too much & I have a problem but it can be easily solved). Back hair is a big no-no but again that can be solved so I wouldn’t call it a deal breaker. I can’t stand when a guy shaves/waxes his leg hair, arm hair or underarms…just does not work for me on any level.

    And the over primping on the face, foundation, tanning, eyebrow sculpturing…just say no. That said I’ve always been the biggest Becks fan & he’s done pretty much all these things I hate!

  10. Gigi Neville-Brown says:

    Tammy, very funny. I cannot, and never have, dealt with any level of long, dirty nails. That just screams germs. I am also not a fan of hairy backs, or bums. Also, more primping than me, even though I only primp for about 10 minutes, is not acceptable.

  11. Lola says:

    I'm afraid the deal was broken for me long before the knuckles. His arrogance gets on my nerves. Much as I like to have occasional innapropriate thoughts about him , I couldn't deal with any more than that. If I actually met him I might slap him.

  12. Katie says:


    Not a deal breaker but we'd speak up if we were dating him.

    I like low maintenance guys….but hygienic guys.

    Back hair, bad breath, dirty nails…that's just gross.

    Back hair on men would be like if we just let our leg hair grow out. No thanks.

  13. Kile says:

    jose is perfect. enough said.

  14. Priccoli says:

    Jose is hot.. and the knuckles don't bother me at all.. actually nothing about him bothers me…

    Being ignorant about grooming is a definitely a deal breaker for me.

  15. Heidi says:

    Ok, I may be weird but thruth is, i not only find the hairy knuckles very easy to deal with, I kinda like it.

    Man with body hair are an endangered species these days.

    Good to know we have Mourinho :)

  16. MrsC says:

    oh Kickette, the knuckles are EASILY dealt with.

    it’s like Iker’s poor shoe choices and general lack of self-grooming ability. he’s still Iker and I would not kick him out of bed for eating cookies.

    and seriously. I know, better than most, the utter heartbreak of having the man of your dreams jump ship to a team you hate with a fiery passion. You breathe deeply. You remind yourself of his perfect ass, toned abs, and adorable grin. And head back to Selfridges.

  17. Blair says:

    Wow. Yes, the hairy knuckles is definitley difficult to handle. I wouldn’t really want him to touch me with those. For me, I have a thing about long hair. So in such a case as Sergio Ramos, he could spend the night with me only if I could A.) cuthis hair or B.) put a paper bag over his head. No joke.

  18. Baby Freya says:

    Bad fashion choices is a deal breaker for sure. As is being more groomed than me e.g. super primped eyebrows (looking at you two CRon and Kiko)

    And being smelly and having general bad hygiene.

    I'm not too hot about big noses either.

    But moving to a rival club would be the ultimate deal breaker as in I would probably break their fingers so they can't sign the contract.

  19. tammyv says:

    I forgave the sexy-time soundtrack of Brian Adams… I can forgive this

  20. carly says:


    Bad breath comes first, that's inexcusable.

    And then bitten finger nails. Yak.

    And while I'm at it…stupid beards.

  21. Danika says:

    His wedding ring looks like Lampards old wedding ring.His was in yellow gold!

    Oh wait, that was not the question? Well…..Jose is God!

  22. Bex says:

    That is a definate deal breaker! I have a thing about hands so bad hands are a no go for me

  23. Ella says:

    I could totally handle that to be with Jose. The rest of him and his bank account make up for it and then some!

  24. Lala says:

    Jose's "hairy monkey" knuckles don't bother me at all. Maybe it's an age thing, but I expect men to have hair where they should (e.g., eyebrows, chest, legs, arms and knuckles). I'm all for proper grooming, but some men take "man-scaping" to extremes (Crissy Ronaldo immediately comes to mind). I want my men to look like men, and not be more feminine than I am!

  25. NandoRama says:

    silly, silly gurls.

    body hair = testosterone.