April 13th, 2010
The Sylvie Scale: Week One on Let’s Dance
A collective squeal of glee was heard round Kickette HQ when we found out that the fabulous Sylvie van der Vaart would be one of the dancers on the latest series of Germany’s Let’s Dance (their version of Strictly Come Dancing/Dancing With The Stars). Snaps for Sylvie for scoring an impressive 26 points with her partner in the early stages of the physically demanding competition.
Globally, this show has become as synonymous with outrageously bright/shiny/bootylicious costumes and spatula-thick stage makeup as they have with actual dancing.
Since we’re experts in fake tan/orange glow analysis, we’ve identified three areas of WAG prerequisites that Sylvie must continue to meet (or, as she returns each week, exceed) in order to properly fulfill the duties of all first-tier International WAGs.
WAG spray tans can range from properly sun-kissed (at the absolute lightest) to road sweeper jacket orange.
For her first week, Sylvie’s glow hovered around the “just back from a St. Tropez holiday” range of colour enhancement. Look for Sylvie’s hue to increase in severity the further along she goes in the competition.
Some would say that everyday WAG-wear resembles a costume. Fair point. But given the chance to wear an actual telly-approved costume on a regular basis, we expect Sylvie to deliver big.
Anything that does not include criminal amounts of sequins, feathers and chiffon in garish colours is a FAIL, as far as we’re concerned. Look for Sylvie to show just enough skin to keep it classy. No wardrobe malfunctions here!
8/10 for her shimmering gold bodice with matching skirt trim
WAGs love slap (see Claudine Keane). WAGs also love big poofy hair. Some might argue it’s their birth-right.
How did Sylvie fare on her first week? On the make-up front, Sylvie came through with a set of false lashes that would make a Vegas showgirl weep. On the hair front, she debuted her pixie cut on telly for the first time. (We know Sylvie’s not afraid to work the wigs either so we’re hoping for many more fabulous new hair looks.)
6/10 She scores for the lashes, but her hair is too wonderfully edgy and cute for us to give it the requisite puff and lacquer points.
Can’t wait to see what Sylvie debuts next week. We’re hoping for rainbow eye shadow and a pair of glass-bottomed shoes with fish wearing sunglasses in them.
Side note: Sylvie is also celebrating her 32nd birthday today. We hope her day is full of diamonds, champagne, and man-servants. Congrats!
All images via The Fashion Spot