September 11th, 2009
The TTO: Giorgio Chiellini v Felipe Melo
Don’t know about you gals, but at Kickette HQ, the past week has been excruciatingly craptastic; the one thing we were excited about was the Juventus display of machismo we were able to put together for your viewing pleasure.
Soz for the tardiness but let’s rise above like Vicky B’s breasts and get on with it, shall we?
Today’s blood and glute glory is brought to you by Serie A boys Georgio Chiellini and Felipe Melo from Juventus.
25 y/o. 6’1. Italian Centre Back.
Tall, dark and medieval-knight like, Giorgio Chiellini boats a stainless steel pair of armour/thighs quite obviously built for battle both on (and off) the pitch. He definitely sets the pace in the Italian leg race but his forehead can’t say the same. We love a man who bleeds, though, so all is forgiven.
Like any good wrought-iron barricade would attest (that is, if any could talk), multi-layering is essential. We spy about four levels of tone and tautness and that’s when he’s half-flexing. Upon further inspection of the first pic above, you might discover a few more.
26 y/o. 6’0. Brazilian Defensive Midfielder.
Plain and simple: this man’s thighs set a new standard in thightasticness. In all honesty, we don’t think we’ve ever seen a pair like this. Melo’s milkshake brings 98% of girls to the yard. Tru fax, that.
Fairly new to the national and Juventus teams, Melo can lock and load his muscular strains with the precision of spaceship weaponry. (Don’t question it, just go with it, okay?) And seriously – have you examined how large and cut his bulky boys are yet? There is no measuring tape on earth that could do justice to those quads.
What makes this man all the better: he gets up, close and personal with longtime Kickette companion, Adrian Mutu.
Who gets your oh-so valuable vote this week?
Cheers to last week’s winner, Carlos Marchena, who barely edged out Asier Del Horno FTW. It could’ve been a steeper win-loss gap had David Villa and David Silva not snatched a few votes from both.