July 20th, 2010

The Tuesday Torso: Yoann Gourcuff

It’s inconsiderate of us to run photos like these without a warning, isn’t it? Image via premier.fr. Thanks EB!

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137 Responses to “The Tuesday Torso: Yoann Gourcuff”

  1. kary says:

    i love him

  2. oumayma says:

    i think tis man is even gonna look hot in a clown costume. Then he ‘ll be the most hottest clown on earth. damn, i love this man.

  3. dendrobiem says:

    really – he is just delicious. ;^p

  4. OMG is it just me or anyone else soooo gutted that he isn’t coming to the premier league. Ratings 4 match of the day would go through the roof!!
    He is just too hot i can’t find a fault…trust me I’ve tried

  5. dendrobiem says:

    *wiping trail of saliva off of screen* oh dear me… do you think he would go for an older, married woman with four kids?

  6. Jen says:

    OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

  7. Fanny says:

    omg, i love him <3

  8. vvraaa says:


    im new to kickette!!! all i can say is, ive found a new home!

    Yoann – Honestly, how is he soo gorgeous!

    I’ve literally looked through all his kickette photos and am totally inlove!

    i must remember to clear my history , dont want boyfriend to get jealous haha!! x

  9. Leloni says:

    It would be ironic if he was bad in bed considering how so many of us want to sleep with him. Actually based on this picture he looks smaller than I would have thought…maybe he is a grower not shower. Btw the link is very nsfw unless you work at a sex shop.


  10. Barcelista says:

    This is one of the reasons why I love Kickette! Just made my day a whole lot better ;) Thanks!

    *drooling big time*

  11. JulieFromParis says:

    Hi there! I found out about this dream-like site a few days ago and am already addicted ^^.

    Me and my friends bother our boyfriends everytime Bordeaux is playing with comments on how gorgeous Yoann is + cheers everytime he touches the ball!!

    I was very lucky to meet him after a training last year and he is the nicest guy ever, even when I made a fool of myself by asking him if i could have a kiss on the cheek… (Usually Im the opposite of the fanclub girl but.. u know)

    • azezah says:

      did ya get to kiss him then, eh?

      • Bria says:

        I would like to know too? That is so cool you got to meet him……I would have probably stutter couple words and slip him a note with my number and home address :)

    • Dee says:

      You met him? Awesome!

      It takes a special crush to turn me into the fangirl type. Maybe it is a lucky thing it has happened so few times in my life.

      • JulieFromParis says:

        Ready for the answer girls????

        YES I DID!! He even blushed a little ( he is the shy type… or maybe because of the nasty look

        my boyfriend gave me??) ^^

        • Dee says:

          Nice job!

        • Barcelista says:

          OMG I'm so jealous!! You go girl ;)

        • Amanda says:

          Julie, I would be unable to contain my jealousy if I wasn't so damn impressed that you were able to form actual words in his presence. You go, girl!

          • Dee says:

            I'm putting about 80-20 odds that I will follow form and either make an odd noise or say something either totally hokey or inappropriate. All depends on my mood that day.

            • Amanda says:

              Totes. I tend toward the ridiculously awkward when faced with such hotness. However, my stupid mouth hasn't been tested yet with such Def-Con 5 levels of gorgeousness, so I'm willing to bet my stupidity would be pretty spectacular.

              • Dee says:

                Here is a brief history of my epic fails…

                Mark Mulder [baseball player] – met him twice almost 6 months apart. Each time I could not do anything but go "meep". I'm not sure if it was a combination of nerves, lust and the fact that I came up to just above his elbow. Guy was 14 inches taller than me.

                Nick Lachey [singer] – Have NO trouble talking to his brother Drew EVER. He wished me a Happy Birthday….I told him I loved him. The man has the most unbelievable memory. Saw him in 2005 and he not only complimented my drink choice [he should...he picked out the vodka for the VIP tables] but asked "Do you still love me?" So we bantered as only I can do. :)

        • Steph says:

          No way! Aww, how cute! :) He blushed? OMG, too cute! Lucky!

        • C16 says:

          Aww! That is the cutest thing ever!!!! You lucky girl :D

          • JulieFromParis says:

            HAAAA!! Here u are girls, french lesson 1: (no kids around please!)

            "Please come back to my room and have wild monkey sex with me"

            ==> " Je t'en supplie, suis-moi dans ma chambre et fais moi grimper aux rideaux!!"

            (french expression meaning having wild sex until the girl clings to the curtains!)

            "Can I have a kiss on the cheek?"

            ==> "Est-ce que je peux avoir un bisou sur la joue?????"

            Seriously, it is said that he was kinda bullied by our french loosers during the WC and this is so unfair… When we saw him, he seemed almost suprised by all eyes being on him.

            • Dee says:

              Now that you gave me that French lesson my odds of embarrassing myself have increased. Thanks :)

            • Steph says:

              LOL. Good to know! ;) I do want to learn French, though, but I'm lazy. haha. And welcome to the site! :) I'm a bit of a newbie, too. lol.

            • Amanda says:

              Julie – YOU. ARE. AWESOME! J'ai specialise en francais a l'universite mais it's been a while! Also, I have no idea how to make accents on this computer, so please forgive. Je t'aime, and of all people, you TOTALLY deserve a kiss from gorgeous Yoann. I'm off to brush up on my French!


              • juliefromparis says:

                Im the one blushing now!! Dont worry amanda, french isnt the easiest lang to learn for sure. We should start a kinda kickette translator so each of us could practice her moves just in case.. Right now i wish i could speak spanish properly… Other needs in french, feel free to ask me!!

        • azezah says:

          aww, that is so sweeeeeeeetttttttttt

          • JulieFromParis says:

            I know it’s kind of stupid but i felt dizzy for the rest of the day, Everytime someone was talkin’ to me i was like “What?? What did u say??”

            Next target: El Ramos! I

            (As u can see, the problem is you get addicted to those moments^^)

        • Amanda says:

          Also, comment dit-on “Please come back to my room and have wild monkey sex with me” en francais? Sorry, I meant, “Can I have a kiss on the cheek?”

  12. missbubbles says:

    OMG…his legs!!!! OMG…his everything!!!! But his leggs!!!! i love hairy men leggs!!!

    • Zariah says:

      I don't even like hairy man but him I love his hairy legs and glad he has some hair in his chest.

      • missbubbles says:

        i know…me too…and it seems he is sooo proud of them…i dont like hairy men but his hair is just on the right places and in the right measure…XD

        • lacota says:

          I agree….he has the perfect amount in the perfect areas. I am also fan of his slight happy trail.

  13. oumayma says:

    probably the most beautifulest man I've ever seen.

  14. Kier says:

    I don't know of a single baller who still wears Copas…gave mine away last week. Or maybe you are just keeping it Classic. Old skool. hot.

    • Tyerra says:

      actually he’s not wearing Copa but adipure III

      anyway, i think i’m in love with him

  15. miss_violet says:

    just made some really really really inappropriate noise.


  16. Mr.LashesConquersThe says:

    He almost looks like he's posing!

    Just imagine yourself under that watchful gaze…

    ZOMG melting… melting…

  17. viola says:

    oh dear lord… what i wouldn't give just to be that thingy strapped around him… unffff!

  18. Hmmm, such a pretty boy. A bit too pretty for me. You can have him, girls!

  19. Zara says:

    aw Yoann is like the sexiest thing on earth, after Iker & Pique ;)

  20. SG says:

    He’s wearing a Polar Heart Rate Monitor. VeNia should probably get one too if she’s worried about a heart attack.
    Thanks Kickette!

  21. Jessie says:

    merci beaucoup Kickette!

  22. anthea says:

    Perfection! :-)
    Thanks kickette, you just made my day again!

  23. OLIVIA says:

    love it!! please keep it coming kickette!!

  24. elylovesfootball says:

    OMG kickette do you want to kill us?

    When i opened and seen this pic i almost fell off my chair!!

    A tanned Yoann that checks out his perfect abs is too much at this time in the morning.. why he is that sexy?? why?!

  25. Jade says:

    this one is nice too: http://twitpic.com/25246n

  26. aps says:

    What's that strap thing he's wearing?

  27. lae says:

    how am i supposed to sleep. god. bless him.

  28. Zariah says:

    I don’t think I ever had a crush on a famous person like I have on him. I have a secret fantasy of a video leaking that show’s Yoann pleasuring himself. I want to see everything.

    • Bria says:

      lmao….well i guess your secret is out of the bag now!!! but i won't mind viewing that either :)

  29. DC says:

    oh Yoann

    what a great sight to goto sleep to.

  30. Ess-Jay says:

    Ohhhhh, the tease.. Just take it off! ;)

  31. Christiane says:

    Woow, never thought that I can love him more than I already did

  32. mumu says:

    dammmmmmmmm he is so delicious!!!!!!

  33. rslkdl says:

    Purrrrr. Very nice.

  34. MissEstonia says:

    Could he get any more good-looking?!

  35. MrsYoann says:

    wait. i just posted this on the lashes thread LOL

  36. Tash says:

    Would have been perfect if we could see his face ;)

  37. Rosey says:

    Lashes just made this crappy day a great one! :)

    I expect to see more of him running around the pitch after games in his undies…lets make it happen!

  38. neenyah says:

    UNNNNFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!! *licks my computer screen*

  39. Mrs Guardiola says:

    I love you Lashes.

    *cries quietly*

  40. sarrible says:

    Yoann Gourcuff should just be naked. All the time. For the good of humanity.

  41. German2505 says:

    Oh my GOD! He’s so sexy. Can’t concentrate anymore…

  42. imhereforthenando says:

    Thank god for this man.

  43. Mrs.DiegoForlan says:

    how can i study with these types of pics showing up?…oh yoann! what a healthy distraction you are :)

  44. Villa MaraVilla! says:


    I wonder what he’s checking out… :) ?

  45. Amber says:

    How the hell am I supposed to get my work done now!? That was very sneaky and underhanded. Keep ‘em coming!

  46. liv says:

    Yes, You guys at kickette HQ are very inconsiderate; I just put my ac on extra cool!

  47. Claire says:

    My comment isn't exactly related to this pic, since we can't see Yoann's face, but I think I've never seen a more handsome man, let alone a football player, in my life. He is beautiful in a certain old school way… like a charming prince from a fairy tale. <3

    • annbug says:

      That’s my exact thought! He look like he just walked out of a romance novel, being all sexy, tall, dark, handsome and really mysterious!

      • Dee says:

        The next time I read Julie James' Just the Sexiest Man Alive I'm picturing Yoann as Jason. He is NSFMI. [Not safe for my imagination.]

    • ConnPossible says:

      his eyelashes do that thing like in cartoons where they turn into fingers and beckon you over.

    • Lucie Déban says:

      Ah, even a charming prince from a fairy tale has his dark side. So Yoann does :)
      but no matter what, we still love him. He is almost perfect. And almost, because he is just unapproachable for the most of us :(

  48. annbug says:

    Gourcuff pictures and Kickette are so NSFW, so I always have to wait till I get home from work to check.

    How does he manage to look so ridiculously sexy all the time? It's kind of hard to deal with and still very mind-baffling.

    • Ess-Jay says:

      I totally agree!! I always have to get up super early and check it at home before uni/work or rush home for my daily fix… It's sooo NSFW!!

  49. Zinny says:

    Just so beautiful…He's like a damn Botticelli angel. Except more perfect. Props to God on this, his finest creation.

    • Amanda says:

      Every time I see a picture of him, it's like God whispering, "This is proof that I exist, and that I love you. See those eyelashes? Those are just for you, Amanda."

  50. Tabby "SaucyAus says:

    GOD BLESS YOU KICKETTES!!!!!! <3<3<3

  51. acanarinha says:

    You should just use that picture of godliness as the banner for the Kickette army. i mean really who doesn't love to see that picture. GOOD LORD!

  52. German2505 says:

    No wonder Ribéry is jealous…

  53. Maria says:

    Oh my days!! I shall never open the Kickette page when I'm surrounded by people! What am I to tell them when I gasp loudly? Hahaha!

    Gourcuff FITTIE!!

  54. Dee says:

    *grabs the jar of Nutella*

    Finger painting, anyone?

    • Jackie says:

      Don't forget the strawberries and whipped cream. aha :)

      • Dee says:

        caramel and fudge…

        all the fixings at Cold Stone Creamery…

        even the syrups used at Starbucks…

        *do not think about calories*

        • Goosie says:

          I’ve got the butterscotch!

        • rslkdl says:

          But it’s sizzling! The ice cream will melt. ;)

          • Rebecca says:

            dont forget the whipped cream for his nipples ladies ;)

            • Dee says:

              and mimosa for body shots?

              Dear God, this site is turning me into Samantha from SATC.

              • Rebecca says:

                Hahaahahahah Samantha is nothing compared to what I’ve become after constantly watching pictures of yoann shirtless and one in which he appears in just his underwear. I could do anything to spend an evening with him

                • Dee says:

                  A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. Yoann puts all of ours to good use. We should thank him!

  55. sheera says:

    handsome tall sexy famous footballer is the man of my dreams but its hard to get men like him ,but also its hard not to think about them what to do that is life. Yoann is so sexy i also like him because he is 11 days older than me and i also like his green eyes and his lashes(so much).

    • sheera says:

      i also like his hair color and his body .he better know if he wants to fall in love or get married don't fall with one like the type of carbs and she must be a kickette ;)

  56. C16 says:

    Oh God! Is he even human?

    I want him!!!!!!!!

  57. Steph says:

    OMG. This should've totally come with a warning! ;) haha. SO hot!

  58. Maria K says:

    WoW my dreamy Mr. perfect =)

  59. azezah says:

    no no no! i've drool all over my keyboard now! gotta clean that, more work.

  60. senora ramos says:

    LOOK AT THAT BODY. my god! beautiful!!

  61. VeNia says:

    he almost gave me a heart-attack!oh Yoann…