May 23rd, 2012

The Week In Hair: Nothing Wildly New But Still Worth A Squizz

Blerim Dzemaili & Marek Hamsik indulge in some foreplay before the big shave. Image: Paolo Bruno/Getty Images. H/T to @LaDiavolina.

Fashion FYI, Kickettes: footballers’ hair has got its mojo back after being crushed under the weight of our scathing critiques.

A summary of this week’s hottest ‘baller hair trends the media won’t shoosh about awaits you. If our cleverly crafted-on-the-tube intro hasn’t tickled your fancy, just look at that Napoli manlove.

Mmmm.

Wait, what are we talking about again?

Oh yes: ‘ballers and their hair.

Marek, you’re obviously a good man. But this is one promise you should not have kept. Images: caughtoffside, Reuters Pictures, FRANCK FIFE/AFP/GettyImages.

We’ve been nursing an inexplicable soft spot for Napoli striker Marek Hamsik for awhile now. There. We said it. No, we don’t know why.

Well, maybe we do.

And no, we can’t explain how it started, but at least we have the guts to put it out there. It’s not easy sitting alone on this bandwagon.

Now that we got that off our pert chests, we were extremely excited that Hamsik made good on a promise to his teammates when he allowed them to shave his head after winning the Italian Cup. You know how peach fuzzy footy noggins turn our legs to jelly, Kickettes.

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ICYM Philippe Mexes’ cornrows of doom, here they are again. We’re not re-posting it because we want to hurt you. It’s just that we want to give you one last chance to rethink your previous answer to this Mexes query before putting this current hair don’t debate to bed.

Tough call, ain’t it?

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Kudos to Montpellier president Louis Nicollin, who, by entering into the colourful spirit of his club’s shock title win, managed to turn a thing of real beauty into something that unsettled us more than the time we discovered Olivier Giroud had a wife.

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Mario Balotelli’s decision-making both on and off the field this season has been entertaining, if nothing else. In this Nike ad, the future of Mario’s ‘do rests solely in the hands of his barber. A wise move he should try rinsing and repeating before stepping out in public.

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Neymar’s hair still roams the streets unmolested.

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Other people getting expressive with their bouffs were Troyes and Reims, who dyed their hair unconscionable shades of red for their respective Ligue 2 play-off games. Both were promoted to Ligue 1, which gives them a false sense of encouragement for them to do it all over again next year.

Image: FRANCOIS NASCIMBENI/AFP/GettyImages.

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In any case, rather than judge, please fill us in. Who gets your vote for head of our “Kickette School Of Beauty – Men’s Hair” class?

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3 Responses to “The Week In Hair: Nothing Wildly New But Still Worth A Squizz”

  1. Aisha says:

    Noo!!! I luved hamsiks hair!!

  2. Lily says:

    I miss Marek's hair :(

  3. Jayy says:

    Awww Hamsik! You sport – that’s quite adorable :) I think the same thing needs to happen to Neymar and Mexes. The piggies were cute. The cornrows of doom give me nightmares.