August 20th, 2007

The Doghouse: Frank Lampard

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So Frank Lampard is in the doghouse. Sort of.

After Frank was caught out in Vegas with some random slag/bint/hoochie, his fiancee, Elen Rives initially looked like a walk over.  She took off her engagement ring, but didn’t throw him out.  She said she was going to change the locks, but we’re quite sure it didn’t happen. 

We still don’t feel there was any real evidence of the seething, venomous rage or just-had-a-baby-you-jackass hormones that should have unleashed a torrent of hellfire on Frank’s cheating self.

That said, it would appear Ms. Rives is playing her cards with a ringless, yet stealth hand. 

She’s ordered Lamps to quit their London diggs in Fulham and head to the country, far away from all the city skanks, and closer to all the country ones. 

Frank loves their home in the city but is bowing to the pressure.  They’ll be moving into a

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20 Responses to “The Doghouse: Frank Lampard”

  1. jess says:

    ok i dont care about lampard but that crap about cesc cheating is not true, cesc lives with his gf in london and he doesn’t even like blondes

  2. I have little sympathy for her. If she choses to have 2 kids for a wealthy, good looking young footballer before he puts a ring on her finger, its to be expected.

  3. tammyv says:

    So do Wayne Bridge and Shaun Wright Phillips who were both in Vegas with Lamp.  Wayne also supposedly has the house that hosted one of JT’s encounters.

  4. Danika says:

    First that town is like half an hour of driving from London, second JT lives there too,and he had time to cheat on Toni several times.And Frank cheat on her in Barcelona(her beloved town)and Las Vegas not in London(somebody mised the geography lessons).
    And now the dress she is wearing:bad material, bad couture.How can you go out and eat or dance(!)in that thing.Its more like a winter coat then a dress.And the sandals, stupid, stupid.
    Frank should stop asking Elen advices what to wear or at least to go shopping by himself because I can reconized Elen’s flamboient style there.

  5. Anna says:

    I didn’t know they made red aluminum foil. Somehow, Elen’s found it and got a little too happy.

  6. tammyv says:

    Kickette, you are so right… that is EXACTLY why we love them.  They are like if FEDEX married Pizza Hut, they ALWAYS deliver

  7. kickette says:

    ooh- wee, fellow Kickettes you are on form with the fugging smile the outfits have to be top 2 in the worst clothing ever worn by humans since the dawn of time. and that’s why we love them.

  8. brandy says:

    Just to confirm that those are indeed strappy sandal heels with black hose. I can’t believe it. WOW.

    Also – here is a prime example of Lamps looking like a rodent. And I think that might be a paunch under that baby diarrhea coloured shirt.

    And he is a skanky cheater. The only thing worse than the colour of his shirt in this picture is HIM!!

  9. Mia says:

    clearly they’ve got the inspiration for their outfits from a box of Cadburys Roses..she’s rocking the wrapping paper from the strawberry one and hes clearly fond of the lovely gooey centre of the coffee cream. Nice.

  10. Becca x says:

    Her Dress Thing Is FUGLY!!! I Hate It.. Im Sure With All The Money Frank Earns She Can Afrd To Buy Somethig Alot Beter!

  11. jax says:

    Haven’t read the story – just can’t focus on anything but the beyond awful clothes. Elen auditioning for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Frank, well, where to start… I didn’t even know they made shirts that sh.. brown colour. At least Elen is smiling for a change instead of sporting her Pete Burns pout.

  12. LoveLamps says:

    She is the devil and clearly ruining Frank’s otherwise PERFECTION.  <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  13. Helena says:


  14. tammyv says:

    She is.. oh god she it.  There are NO words, none, zippie, dear god…

  15. Robin says:

    true Tammy – very true. My eyes were so blinded by her heinous getup that I didn’t even look past her to Lampard. Yuck.
    and oh my god – it looks as if she is wearing strappy calf tie sandals with HOSE. As in STRAPPY SANDALS WITH HOSE!!!!! Oh my GOD. She is a trainwreck.

  16. TammyV says:

    Robin, clearly the proper questions is WTF are THEY wearing??  She should not be the only one to be judged when he is sportin’ that spectaular whatever the hell that “outfit” is

  17. Robin says:

    What the HELL is she WEARING??????

  18. r. says:

    i cant get past elen’s .. outfit. just hideous.

  19. tammyv says:

    For the sake of good taste everywhere, dear god someone stage a fashion intervention!! NOW, right now, screw the relationship salvation, they need fashion therapy STAT!

  20. hottie says:

    what the hell is she wearing she looks stupid