March 27th, 2007
The Drunk Off Their Ass List: The Beckhams
Anyone want to predict the level of hangover for these two this morning?
We’re thinking it might be a code red situation. Or, in other words, a driving the porcelain bus situation.
The Beckhams got their groove on last night with P Diddy, first having dinner at London’s Nobu and then heading to the Automat bar. Reports say David was looking down and not terribly happy – this is the second night in a row we’re hearing about David’s temperate mood.
We won’t speculate if his attitude has anything to do with us refusing to take his calls anymore. David. You’re married. We can’t be together. Not at least until you send more money. Or a nice necklace. We’re not bothered.
But back to our story of alcohol and Diddyness. Thinking they could keep up with Puff Daddy was their first mistake. This is a man who bathes in champagne and wears diamonds the size of croutons in his ears.
Even with the British-born birthright of being able to drink the bar dry, David and Victoria couldn’t handle it. They stumbled out into their waiting car, with the Daily Mail reporting Victoria looking “tired and emotional” as she collapsed in a heap over David. We’ve seen Victoria this hammered before, but it’s a rare pleasure to see the couple completely smashed together.
The second mistake? The Burberry tea cozy hat.
The third mistake? (Yes, this was an evening of many) Victoria’s non-bra. Girl you’re wearing jersey fabric. Seriously. Put on a goddamn bra. No one wants to have a conversation with you when those things are doing all the talking.