November 25th, 2008

The Elite XI: Gorgeous Gaffers


Only one position remains to be filled in our perfectly-formed professional team of delectables.

Of course, we need a manager to lead our sizzle squad to glory, both on the pitch and in our loins.  But who? Such a man would have not only be physically swoon-worthy of the highest calibre, but he would need to possess incredible skill, mental strength and confidence in order to not be intimidated by the full force of the pretty he was in charge of. 

Also, we think he should dress like a well-tailored GQ model and have a snarl that could tame a wild tiger, but that’s just us.

Above are a few of our top choices for our (soon to be unveiled) Elite XI Squad managers – have we missed anyone?  Who do you think should lead the pack?

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115 Responses to “The Elite XI: Gorgeous Gaffers”

  1. Mairead says:

    Easy choice – KEANO all the way!

  2. TammyV says:

    Hi Lily… welcome!

  3. TammyV says:

    Hi Lily… welcome!

  4. Shandora says:

    When it comes to sizzle and snarling, no one beats Roy Keane.

  5. The Fourth Official says:

    Roy, of course!

    Anyone who needs convincing, just stop by the Official Roy Keane Appreciation Thread in the community for daily updates of hotness via pics and video.

    Snarling, brooding, funny, smart, hot stubbleness, and impeccably tailored too.

    Doesn’t take sh*t from anyone and isn’t afraid of anyone.


  6. KeaneOnYou says:

    slaven and jose and Keane.

  7. Dee13 (mrs m metze) says:

    gotta be jose for me… then markus babbel, manager of stuttgart… :)

  8. carly says:

    Is this where we vote? Mourinho, Mourinho, Mourinho, Mourinho!!

  9. kate says:


  10. Innocenza says:

    Pep. Or Klinsi. Both plz.

  11. Beth says:

    ok, i'm going for Mourinho, just because he has it all! Then probably pep in second.

  12. Mrs. John Terry says:

    Jose. But with his old hair cut.

  13. Zatil says:

    The Special One. No question.

  14. kate says:


  15. Moonie says:

    Jose gets my vote but I definitely think Phil Brown has a certain something as well.

  16. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Pep. Most definitely.

  17. Camille says:

    Without question, Roy Keane. No one else comes close.

  18. klyn312 says:


  19. xXFernandoXx says:

    Mourinho would be the best choice, and Pep as his assistant!

  20. Lily says:

    okay first time commenting here. Hi! and it has to be Roy Keane. anyone else pales in comparison. "Such a man would have not only be physically swoon-worthy of the highest calibre, but he would need to possess incredible skill, mental strength and confidence in order to not be intimidated by the full force of the pretty he was in charge of. Also, we think he should dress like a well-tailored GQ model and have a snarl that could tame a wild tiger, but that’s just us." just on your criteria alone it has to be Keano!

  21. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Gotta go for the Special One! (with his old hairdo)

  22. carly says:

    Is this where we vote? Mourinho, Mourinho, Mourinho, Mourinho!!

  23. Elise says:

    It's got to be Jose Mourinho. While your list of requirements could apply to several managers I can think of (special nod to Roy), it fits no one more perfectly than Jose. And I think the manager of the team you're putting together, which will no doubt feature several European players, needs a European manager. GQ-gorgeous (just look at the pic above!), suave, experienced, talented, incapable of being intimidated, sarcastic and funny… yeah, The Special One. I'll always love him.

  24. LoveLamps says:

    Dear God JOSE MOURINHO, JOSE MOURINHO, JOSE MOURINHO, JOSE MOURINHO! I'd have Keano as my assistant coach and call Bilic for hot, dirty sex when the team lost. Too much information? Sorry. Managers do that to me.

  25. hazel says:

    &&This;here is coming from a REAL MADRID fan.
    He is SEX ON LEGS.

  26. Allana says:

    I’m going to throw out a name to consider:  Mark Hughes.  He’s got what it takes, and the grey hair is smokin’.  However, Pep would be a worthy winner.

  27. Missy says:

    I used to be a Jose fan, but I don’t like the way he’s tapping up the Chelsea players – slimey.  Slaven smokes, which is a big turnoff for me.  Pep, I don’t know him.  All in all, Roy Keane sounds like he’d be the perfect manager for the Elite XI.  Sexy and no bullcrap.

  28. Pau (de Silva =P) says:

    Jose! out of question! even when my OWN football coach deserves more the job, my vote goes to Jose!

  29. Katie says:

    It has to be Roy Keane.He is absolutely gorgeous.The rest of them (Mourinho,Pep)they do completely nothing for me,and don’t be surprised that so many people come out only to vote for Keane,cos I’m one of them,I only post when Keane is involved cos for me nobody else is worth commenting on.By the way – do You think he dies his hair?:)

  30. Marie says:

    Absolutely Roy Keane.  He broods and he rocks the facial hair better than any other manager.

  31. BlackCatsLuver says:

    OMG, like theres a choice?  Keane forever.

  32. ^^K^^ says:

    Wow, this is surprisingly tough, this. My first choice was gonna be Guardiola, but then I remembered all of Mourinho’s sex appeal… Plus then there’s the sexy Slaven Bilic to consider, too. <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" /> I’ma go with Pep for head coach, and Jose as assistant coach (his ego could never handle that of course but sadly, this isn’t real life) :D

  33. josie says:

    pep! the one and only!

  34. Wendy says:

    What about Roberto Mancini, the former Inter coach?  He’s delicious!

  35. Ashley says:


  36. Mark says:

    I‘m queer, I‘m here, and Keano can snarl at me anytime.

  37. sophie says:

    defo the gawjus jose aka the special one!

  38. Banri says:

    viktor goncharenko!!! then bilic <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

  39. Mrs. Gourcuff says:

    Hmm, this is a tough choice but I’d say
    1. Slaven
    2. Pep
    3. The Special One

  40. Venice says:

    Btw usually when people can’t comment in the above box, they can’t even see the above box. So, umm, maybe if you emptied your browser cache?

  41. Susie says:

    Hannah, are you talking about my post?

    No one accused anyone of cheating, I was taking a little piss out of myself.

    And I think the person who operates the site would be able to tell if the same people were voting over and over again. I dont think it would even need to be mentioned.

    My whole family votes for Roy, put me down for an extra 5 votes, lol.

  42. Venice says:

    Well then Hannah, I suggest Kickette actually make a real poll with IP tracking, like a vote once poll, it’s so super easy I can make one with two clicks within five minutes, and it works on any computer in any browser. Like, get the members to nominate candidates, then make a poll with said nominees that tracks IPs and that’s it.

  43. S.K. says:

    Pep. Classy. Cool.

  44. Hannah says:

    I’ve tried commenting in the new way and I can’t get it to work.  So does that mean my vote sholdn’t count?  I notice that whenever Cassilas or some other spanish guy is up for something, theres like a zillion votes, and no one says some one is cheating.    I was going to vote for Slavin but because some of you are being mean, I’m voting for Keano.

  45. mrs nandrina torrres says:

    PEP!!! PEP!!! PEP!!! PEP!!!

  46. A V R I L says:

    definately Roy Keane. I can imagine him as James Bond

  47. Susie says:

    Can I vote for Roy Keane again?

    Is that allowed?

    *looks around innocently*

  48. Roy's Little Bl says:

    Roy Keane.  Damn, that man is SUPER hot!!  I want him to rant at me cuz the make-up sex would be amazng!!

  49. Lisa says:

    It has to be no other than Slaven Bilic!

  50. Susie says:

    Eventhough I should go with my homeboy Mourinho, its hands down for Roy Keane.

    No contest.

    I own a Republic of Ireland Roy Keane T shirt and its the only national team merch I own that isnt from my own. I just think he’s brill.

    Talented, smart, out spoken, and watch out for your knees!!! lol

    And who knew he could “scrub up” so well?

    Forca Sunderland!!! <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  51. Please Roy Keane, Roberto Mancini, or Bruno Giordano. Jose is a weasel.

  52. Sue Me says:


  53. elin says:

    i would like to nominate Quique S

  54. Kelly says:

    Roy Keane.  His missus is a lucky lucky woman.  Imagine shagging that every night?  PHOOAAAWRRR.

  55. Joanne says:

    Keano Keano Keano.

    Followed from many many miles behind by Bilic.

  56. lisa says:

    Slaven Bilic or Pep or Slaven Bilic

  57. Le Bon says:

    Pep, Pep, Pep!!!

  58. Robin says:

    Sexy Roy

  59. Jinx says:

    Why is this even open for debate?

    Keano.  Kicks.  Ass.

  60. Katie says:

    Roy Keane. He makes the rest of ‘em look like pansies.  What a man!

  61. Candace says:

    Roy Keane makes me think bad thoughts!

  62. JB says:

    Roy Keane should be the Elite XI manager.  Look at that stubble…THUD!

  63. DOMINIQUE says:

    OH DEFENITLEY PEPE HE DRESES IN STYLE AND ALWAYES LOOKS HOT THUMPS UP……. <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="excaim" style="border:0;" />

  64. Eliza says:

    Keano!  There’s only one Keano!

  65. wtf says:

    Slaven Bilic, surely. The guy is in a rock band for christ sake!

    Jose is not bad either, and he has comedy value so he could be an assistant manager.

  66. Jo says:

    Mamasita, I may never be able to look at Jose again without thinking of Mr. Burns.  Thank you for that.

    Roy Keane wins it for me.  Honourable mention to Mark Hughes and Slaven Bilic.

  67. Jessica says:

    Slaven Bilic FTW!

  68. Maga says:

    It’s got to be Pep Guardiola. He would turn on a dead girl.

  69. Charlotte says:

    Roy Keane. Oh God, Roy Keane all the way. Hghn.

  70. mamasita says:

    Pep, aka very classy sex on legs, all the way!!! The man is gorgeous and his attire is always impeccable… not to mention an excellent (sexcellent even) coach. Keano holds his own pretty well, but Jose looks like a little sexier, non-cartoon version of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons( sorry!!!!)

  71. imhereforthenando says:

    Pep Guardiola. Hands down.

  72. jessicaxlofc says:

    Roberto Mancini is the ultimate fantasy man he so needs to be a candidate and get a job in england soon! I also have this thing for juande ramos, he's hot for an older man. Agree 100% that Jose needs to be on the list, he's a bad man and that makes him so attractive.

  73. Olderfan says:

    Phil Brown needs to be a main candidate. Sharp dresser, handsome, fit, has taken a lower level team and turned them into a strong mid-table Premier League team. Takes drive, intelligence and great leadership to pull that off. Beautiful eyes.

  74. barçafan says:

    Most definitely Pep!

  75. mrscudicini says:

    Jose. End of Discussion.

  76. striker says:

    Pep FTW!!!

  77. SpaceCowgirl says:

    It has GOT to be Pep! No question. End of.

  78. Dreamgirl says:

    Absolutely definitely Roy Keane.

  79. SemiCharmed says:

    viktor goncharenko! Actually it doesn't really matter to me, as long as it's not evil Jogi from GNT <img src="; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  80. GO says:


  81. FirstTeamCoach says:


  82. Mar102082 says:

    jose all the way… btw can't wait to see the team all put together!!!

  83. cristina_juve says:


  84. aristeia says:

    This is FREAKING HARD. Okay Pep. And honorable mention goes to: <img src=""&gt; Because of photos like that.

  85. Callie says:

    Pep or Slaven

  86. lutscher says:

    totally Slavan Bilic

  87. LynxKitten says:

    I agree with aristeia, but Klinsi is my first choice. Second is Guus Hiddink- I dig miracle workers who're worshipped wherever they go :P THEN comes Pep.

  88. Gina Villamelon says:

    Jose. For his looks as much as for the entertainment value.

  89. Nina (Mrs Gerrard) says:

    Ah Slaven would be a good choice. If that's not possible, then definitely Keano.

  90. DC says:

    I would pick TSO but the haircut he just got and that long jacket he's been wearing…no. just no. PEP! PEP! PEP!

  91. hooligan573 says:

    Can't choose between Keane and Jose. Both. Yummy.

  92. Emily (Giggsy's says:

    (Attempt #5 to post this, so am a bit frustrated) ROY KEANE, ROY KEANE, ROY KEANE!!!!! I am saddened and worried that so many people are ignorant of the kick-ass, delicious awesomeness of all that is Keano. I too highly recommend a tour through the Roy Keane Appreciation thread. It's pervtastic and addictive, and once you start, you never want to leave. The glower, the accent, the stubble/beard, the jaw, the suits, the temper, the tongue… Sexy Roy (TM) has no competition. He should win, hands down. :D

  93. Anna (Frau Manuel Ne says:

    well.. since today i was paying more attention to him than the match.. my vote goes to bate borisov's manager, viktor goncharenko ;) <img src="; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  94. AJ says:

    Roy Keane. No one else gets close, imo. He's gorgeous, masculine, has a killer sense of humor, highly intelligent, diehard winning mentality, looks super hot in a suit and even better in training gear…I could go on forever. Pretty much the perfect man.

  95. Blair says:

    Pep Guardiola. That man damn near brings me to my knees. Wow that came out a lot dirtier than I meant it to.

  96. Boston Red says:

    Roy Keane. He is a gorgeous, gorgeous man whose hotness increases with age. I mean, have you seen the full beard?

  97. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I'm not sure you'll be able to even hear me over the Keano and Jose shouts of lust, but anyway I'm gonna add one tiny vote for Paul Ince. He is just about the only manager (although to be honest I don't know many over seas ones) I could even think about touching.

  98. justlikexabi says:

    oh Anna viktor goncharenko? don't know of him, but he is cute :) and Bruno Labbadia, Bayer Leverkusen trainer is not bad ;)

  99. justlikexabi says:

    Bilic, and then maybe Pep

  100. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Either Pep Guardiola or Jose Mourinho. I can't decide which one is best, so… let them both get 1/2 of my vote.

  101. suzie says:

    pep or jose for me

  102. autumnmaple101 says:

    roy keane!!!!

  103. Becca says:

    Jose. Or Chris Coleman If Hes Unavaliable ;)

  104. P says:

    Damn. This got me thinking. Well, if we base it on looks alone, I say Pep Guardiola (I drool whenever I think about him). However, one must take Jose Maurinho into account as well. He’s got the looks, the snarl and the EPIC show to top it all of. Jose can surely take on any team and is not intimidated by anyone. But then there’s also Joachim Löw. The hot i-dunno-how-to-smile manager of Die Mannschaft.

    Who to choose? *thinks hard*

    TSO for me in the end. But I’ll have Pep as his assistant coach. ;D

  105. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    Jose FTW. Also, wow, weird how many new anonymous people come out of hiding when keane is involved. I’m not buying it. Me thinks some peoples are trying to sway the vote. I have no actual proof but I refuse to believe that many people find Keane sexy and just all of a sudden appear out of no where to vote for him!

  106. Victoria says:


  107. Venice says:

    Yeah, this got me thinking, with all due respect to non-registered posters, the only transparent way of conducting this poll would be to take into account votes by registered members only.

  108. Venice says:

    Slaven Bilic!
    Law degree, rock band, 6’2", three foreign languages… just to name a few reasons why.

    And there’s also Jose Mourinho of course.

  109. Tres Bien says:

    Does this even need a discussion?

    Three words: The Special One

  110. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I’m not sure you’ll be able to even hear me over the Keano and Jose shouts of lust, but anyway I’m gonna add one tiny vote for Paul Ince. He is just about the only manager (although to be honest I don’t know many over seas ones) I could even think about touching.

  111. TammyV says:

    TSO…The End. Photobucket

  112. Sarah says:

    I nominate Slaven Bilic.

    (Also, Pep.)

  113. lose that girl says:

    No brainer. Roy Keane.

    lose that girl blog