January 4th, 2008

Sizzle Query: Face/ Body Dichotomy


Every week across the globe, dozens and dozens of football games are played. And every week across the globe, hundreds of shirts are removed so that we, the discerning public, can analyze abs, six-packs and no-packs. 

And as we sit, our HD screens inches away from our eyeballs, excel spreadsheets with formulas and hottie calculation software at our sides, we are consistently reminded of one of life’s great debates: the face vs body hotness dichotomy.

Micah Richards is our case in point.  One of the best bods in the game, no doubt.  Yet, if he had his clothes on would he inspire such greatness? We cannot say for certain as we have been blinded by this photo. But even those in our Finest Five list aren’t exempt.  For example, there has been many a debate in our post comments from many of you who don’t question Cristiano Ronaldo’s botdy, but who feel the face just doesn’t match up to the rest. 

When it comes to a body of Baywatch, face of Crimewatch, where do your loyalties lie, Kickettes? 

Is Micah a hottie by sheer muscle tone alone?  If Becks gained 60 stone and grew several sheets of body hair, but kept that chiseled jaw we all know and love, would he still be on your hit list?

These are the pressing concerns of the day, and indeed, our lives, and we suggest you consider them deeply. 

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18 Responses to “Sizzle Query: Face/ Body Dichotomy”

  1. link diversity says:

    Micah Richards made his first team debut as a substitute in the 1-0 defeat at Highbury in October, and he came close to scoring after being pushed forward as City sought an equaliser.

  2. Bodybuilder says:

    The girls that say he is too much of a bodybuilder look for them are just jealous they can’t get someone that has a body like that.  :D

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  4. the crush says:

    hmmm. nice. huh … starting to sweat a bit.

  5. Emma says:

    Face, because, let’s face it, you only see the bod for like 10 seconds and that’s if they flash it!

    But Micah Richards has quite a cute face, when he’s not scowling.

  6. Tan says:

    I am sorry girls but I have to say that I think he is actually not bad looking!

      I live in Manchester and have seen him out and think he is fit! and now i have seen his body….wow! lol

  7. carly says:

    I’m more concerned about the face…maybe I’m traditional.
    Plus a great face is much harder to find than a nice body.
    I can’t believe I’m discussing this! lol

    Anyway, I say: Not enough shirts are removed in football pitches! WE NEED MORE!

  8. Becca x says:

    I Agree With THe Whole Package Thing.
    I Would Never Go out With Someone Just Because They had a Nice Body Becuase They Might Have An Ugly Face And Thats The Thing That Your Gonna Be looking At More. Its Tre That YouCan Make Your Body Fitter :p But Your Face Dont Change (Unless You Hace Massive plasctic Surgry And You’ll probably Just End Up Looking worse E.g Michael Jackson!)
    Although Micah Has A Very Nice Body His Face Reminds Me A Bit of one of The Tweenies.

  9. Amelie says:

    Crikey, look at that.


    Sorry, what was the question?

  10. The Fourth Official says:

    Robin is right – a baller can always improve his body but his face is the face he’s born with.  Other than a decent haircut, clean teeth and some zit cream, there’s not much else you can do with a bad face, Wayne being a perfect case in point.

  11. Robin says:

    I am a deeply shallow creature. My ballers MUST have a face to match the bod. I mean – what’s the point of having a gorgeous body to play with if you never want to look above the neck? I can’t keep blinders on me or a paper bag on him for the whole romp.
    In fact I’m willing to forgive a lackluster bod (well slightly lack luster – lets not go crazy here) for a gorgeous face. But I am NOT willing to forgive a gorgeous bod for a lackluster face. Unless he has an amazing personality or the ability to make me laugh (personal note there).

  12. Sara says:

    I agree with TFA..a hottie has to be the complete package…great body, face, personality and temperament . Having no arrests for drink driving while rimming a page 3 girl/shagging page 3 girls at skanky Christmas parties/raping page 3 girls at skanky parties/punching page 3 girls at McDonalds restaurants is HUGE bonus <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/wink.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

    Anyway..I’m off to drool about all things Olof Mellberg and Matthew Upson..yes, I’ve got a thing about brooding bearded ‘ballers.. <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

    Kickette, I DEMAND a Beard Special Feature!!  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/wink.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

  13. The Fourth Official says:

    It’s a perplexing question and a serious one.  For me, a hottie has to be a complete package (so to speak).  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/wink.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />  Body, face, smile, hair, wardrobe, skank factor, man-ho index, arrest record – these are all important factors to be considered in judging hottiness.  And in this forum, the side for which His Hottiness plays seems to be an important factor for many (i.e. “I hate that f***er; he plays for the Scum/Scousers/Mancs/Geordies yadda yadda yadda).  I am an equal opportunity admirer of baller beauty, regardless of kit.  Except on match days, of course.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  14. candace says:

    ok as far as footballers go i have to say the whole package, i don’t want uggg anywhere on my video screen when i’m watching a match.  in person though i would have to say i’m a face and hair girl and the body doesn’t have to be that fit as long as he ain’t obese, i tend to like them skinny!  i mean have any of you been to brooklyn???, the men here are way skinnier than the girls and it is totally in to wear skinny girl jeans and preppy pink tees, it makes them look punk or something!

    …and as far as c-ron goes that man has more package than any of us know what to do with. i mean i agree that the man bag, pink shirts and greeeezy hair is a bit much but that man is BEAUTIFUL in so many ways i just don’t know how it is possible.

  15. Gina says:

    It’s all about the body for me. Don’t care what’s above the neck because I’m really not intending to talk to/look at them all that much <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

    I guess I’m just a wannabe loose woman! Can you believe I’ve actually started watching City matches just in the hopes that Micah Richards will take off his shirt?

  16. Jacey says:

    I have to go complete package, but qualified. A great body and a so-so face can move up to certified hottie with a cute personality. A complete package moves off the hottie list with appalling behavior. I’m not sure what Micah’s face looks like. Didn’t get past the rockin abs. They absolutely beg to be touched.

  17. brandy says:

    Too much. I like me some chiseled abs, but those are too much. Too body builder magazine cover for my taste.

    It’s the “Butter Face” Syndrome. “Butter Face”, as in “her body is hot, BUT HER face….“.

    I personally go for the full package, face AND body. That’s how I roll. If you’ve only got one of the two – no go for your pal. Sorry.

  18. kaya says:

    Micah’s face isn’t gorgeous, but dontcha think “face of Crimewatch” is going a bit far? If I was going to pick a criminal-looking face, it would be Crouch, criminally ugly would be Tevez. Micah’s face isn’t bad nor great, so where’s the crime???
    On the other hand, that body makes C-Ron look geriatric.
    Oh, and you can thank FIFA for making goal celebrations involving shirt-removal a yellow card offence that we don’t see more eye candy. Shame on them.