January 14th, 2008
The Infidelity Files: Adrian Mutu
As a former Finest Five list favourite of ours, Adrian Mutu is never far from our hearts and loins. For example, we watch this promo for his reality TV show on a daily basis, even if we have no idea what anyone is saying on it.
As such, we can only report on rumours that Adrian is having an affair via an somewhat objective, bulleted list of attempted non-judgment.
- Adrian is married to Consuelo, who is expecting their second child in a few months, (he has one other child from a previous relationship).
- Although she has a few acting credits to her name (like a bit part in Ocean’s Twelve), it’s yet to be fully confirmed whether Martina falls into the Opportunistic Dating range of mistresses we are all so familiar with.
- Photos have been published in the craptastically bad Novella 2000 magazine of the pair flirting and chatting at a table in a disco in Florence.
- Mr M. swears that the two are just old friends.
- In fact, Adrian and Martina met met five years ago, when Martina was nineteen and dating Lapo Elkann, the Fiat scion who (allegedly) overdosed on a cocaine and heroin cocktail and was found unconscious in the apartment of a middle-aged transvestite named Patrizia.
- Oh, and Martina abandoned Lapo’s near-ginger arse after that happened.
- Adrian’s official line on the matter: “I love my wife Consuelo who is going to give me a third child and I adore my family. In this moment I am particularly happy with my life and I don’t have any any worries in my head. What other people are talking about me in these days is pure fantasy.“
Infidelity possibilities aside, let’s get back to the major issue that has been left out of reports, tabloids or otherwise: Mutu is still good-looking. We will continue to monitor this status and situation as a matter of urgency.