January 25th, 2008

The Infidelity Files: Ashley Cole?

The gossip rags are full of news today that Chelsea’s Ashley Cole has been cheating on super-gorge and oft-annoying wife Cheryl.


So that you don’t have to waste valuable Friday skive-time, we’ve distilled the numerous details from the alleged incident into a few succinct non-facts:

Random girl/skank/cash grabber in question: Aimee Walton
Date/location said incident took place: December 8, 2007, at the CC Club in London
State of Ashley: drunkity drunk drunk. In the VIP. With mates
State of Aimee: also drunk off her tree. Also in the VIP. Awaiting approach
Successful pulling line: (from one of Ashley’s friends) “Ashley wants you to go home with him.“
Hook up locale: Mate’s house in North London

and scene.

Before anyone even starts about ballers and their lack of romantic gestures, let us pre-empt you naysayers now.  After the “magic happened”, Ashley begged Aimee to keep the incident a secret, and then promptly vomited all over the floor.

Link: Ashley Accused of Cheating

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28 Responses to “The Infidelity Files: Ashley Cole?”

  1. closets says:

    It`s people like yourself giving these attention-seekers the attention they so desperately crave that allows them to behave the way they do.Stop fawning over these cruds!

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  3. Ashley doesn’t act as if he really loves his wife. He seems to think that he can get away with anything just because he plays football. I personally would give him the boot.

  4. I don’t like to gossip, still i like gossip. I say … if u can get laid … do whatever u can to.

  5. It sounds very strange… You have sex with someone and then sell the story for money. So basically you're being paid to have the sex. Only one or two steps away from a prostitute.

  6. neli says:

    so she wouldnt accept a

  7. freddiegirl says:

    Rebecca you would think but sometimes for guys it isn’t even about how hot the girl is but how easy she is.  I’m constantly surprised at what girls some guys will go home with even if they have a gorgeous other half.  Trust me, having been a dancer ut here in Los Angeles I’ve seen some messed up ****.

  8. Rebecca says:

    I somehow find this story a little bit far fetched. I don’t think He would be desperate to sleep with Dog (Have you seen this girl, She fell from the Ugly Tree, Hitting every branch on the way down!) when He has a beautiful wife at home…. The Single Mum probably wanted to buy her Kid something new with her pennies she earned from selling this story, The Silly Billy. She looks stupid, Looks good for you when you make a man physically sick in the bedroom!

  9. Rusty says:

    ACK! I thought that was a picture of Cashley and the skank. My apologies, Cheryl…or not.

  10. Rusty says:

    It’s amazing what makeup can do for a person; I better start wearing it more often wink

    I actually made it into a VIP party once, but I managed to get back to my hotel without sleeping with anyone.

  11. LoveLamps says:

    Not sure if I believe it, but even if it is not true, Cheryl can do better.  He’s just not that hot.

  12. freddiegirl says:

    I believe this story.  I don’t know if anyone remembers but I once wrote a long post about strippers and why I thought all opinions shouldn’t be generalized.  I admitted that I had danced and one of the places I danced at was the London Spearmint Rhino.  I used to see alot of ballers come in and out of that place and Cole was one of them. 

    Yes the girl sold her story for money but what about Cole cheating?  Doesn’t that make up a schmuck as well?? 

    This is why, as much as I dislike him, the C. Ronaldo hooker stories don’t bother me….  He’s not hurting anyone or breaking any promises to anyone.

  13. carly says:

    Sounds like a bunch of BS as usually…
    but Cheryl could do better, in general.

  14. jax says:

    I read that he threw upon the rug whilst ‘performing’, went out to rinse with mouthwash and returned to finish the job. No wonder this girl is so anxious to tell of this ‘special’ encounter – I would be sooo proud of myself !

  15. Robin says:

    If he was that drunk I’m pretty sure there was no magic except in her imagination. I swear what is it with these women looking to make a quick buck. Don’t they even THINK about their own reputations? Have they no self pride?
    Cheryl would have Ashleys liver out with a spoon if this was even close to being true. She may be annoying but she’s awfully fun to watch and I find her nifty and entertaining.

  16. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I dont get why she felt the need to tell everyone that he threw up, surely it doesnt bode well for her.

    Im usually pretty sceptical about these stories but for some reason I actually believe this one.  Bet she regretting the classy ‘Mrs Cole’ tatt now!!

  17. Sarah x says:

    I Read About This Today,
    I Dunno If I Believe It Or Not Thoo :s
    Might Be All Lies, But Then Again, It Might Not Be <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />
    Omg, My Little Submit Word was ‘Married76’ how wierd lol

  18. The Fourth Official says:

    You know, I can put up with a lot from a guy, but FFS don’t barf on my carpet.  Unless (and even if) you’re willing to pay for a new one, that’s a deal breaker right there.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/sick.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="sick" style="border:0;" />

  19. Ally says:

    Without meaning to sound hypocritical, the more of these stories I read, the more I realise what a drain The Sun and other tabloids of that ilk are on society.

  20. Elise says:

    “and scene”- Kickette, you kill me!  Do we have some drama classes in common I wonder?

  21. Malin says:

    Oh, such a charming man. I wouldn’t go near him though. Bleh.

  22. Jenna says:

    I agree with some of the earlier posts, I dont think its true!

    If Ashley was so drunk that he was sick on the floor would he actually be able to perform????!!!!I bet they just all went back to the house and he was very very drunk and that was it!

    Not that I dont think that he has cheated in the past but I just thing this story doesnt make sense! I might be completely wrong though!

  23. c9 says:

    How nice, throw up while being screwed?
    I don’t know why some of these men just don’t go home and screw their wife or girlfriend and throw up on their own floor <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/tongue_laugh.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue laugh" style="border:0;" />
    This just made me nauseous thinking about it <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/shuteye.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="shut eye" style="border:0;" />

  24. Robin says:

    Ok – I just had this thought. You have sex with someone and then sell the story for money. So basically you’re being paid to have the sex. Only one or two steps away from a prostitute.

  25. Becca x says:

    I Read About This In THe Sun Today. And The Head Line Was Something Like ‘I Bedded Ashley .. I Feel Sorry For His Cheryl.‘
    If You Felt That Sorry For Her You Wouldnt :
    1. Do It In The First Place Everyone Knows Hes Married For Gods Sake!
    2. Sell It to The Newspapers, If She Really Felt That Bad Then Why Did She Tell The Whole World? It Just A Way To Get Easy Money Really.

  26. brandy says:

    “and scene” is right. Who’d have thunk it? Ballers don’t get romantic with the groupies they pull for a one-nighter?! I am shockity shocked! <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/wink.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

    Granted, men are wrong for making a committment to a woman and then breaking it by slagging off with anything in a mini skirt and hooker heels in the dead of winter, but I gotta stick with:
    1. if you’re a groupie, don’t expect to be treated with class, or even like a lady. Newflash: you are a skanky groupie.
    2. if you marry a baller (handsome or not), prepare yourself to be cheated on. If you are truly blessed, you’ll get one of the few that remains faithful. The most you can hope for is that he will seem faithful at least publically.

    In short, if you make your bed a certain way of your choosing – prepare to lie in it!

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