January 25th, 2008
The Infidelity Files: Ashley Cole?
The gossip rags are full of news today that Chelsea’s Ashley Cole has been cheating on super-gorge and oft-annoying wife Cheryl.
So that you don’t have to waste valuable Friday skive-time, we’ve distilled the numerous details from the alleged incident into a few succinct non-facts:
Random girl/skank/cash grabber in question: Aimee Walton
Date/location said incident took place: December 8, 2007, at the CC Club in London
State of Ashley: drunkity drunk drunk. In the VIP. With mates
State of Aimee: also drunk off her tree. Also in the VIP. Awaiting approach
Successful pulling line: (from one of Ashley’s friends) “Ashley wants you to go home with him.“
Hook up locale: Mate’s house in North London
Before anyone even starts about ballers and their lack of romantic gestures, let us pre-empt you naysayers now. After the “magic happened”, Ashley begged Aimee to keep the incident a secret, and then promptly vomited all over the floor.