June 11th, 2008
The McRooney Nuptials: Nearly, Nearly
image via dailymail/Murray Saunders
We’re nearly there, Kickettes.
Coleen McLoughlin and Wayne Rooney have exchanged their first vows at a town hall in Santa Margherita di Ligure (Italian law requires them to file before officials at least 48 hours before they wish to marry). Coleen wore Missoni and looked fab. Wayne wore shorts and a t-shirt and looked like, well, he looked like Wayne.
During the short service, the pair told each other: “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.“ We assume they then immediately began laughing maniacally and rolled around in a pile of money, but we’re yet to have this formally confirmed.
Guests began arriving in Italy yesterday – most came on specially chartered jets from Liverpool. So far, we’ve spotted Wayne’s parents (Jeanette and Wayne Snr) as well as his two brothers, Coleen’s parents, her brother and sister Rosie – who is slated to be a bridesmaid. Wayne’s mates Wes Brown and Everton’s Duncan Ferguson and Alan Stubbs were also there.
A few random facts to get you into the wedding spirit:
- There are 15 security staff on hand to keep the paparazzi under control.
- The costs for wedding are set to run at around £5 million, including a hired yacht and a planned fireworks display. Don’t be concerned over the spending – half of that will be made up for by the McRooney’s magazine deal with OK!.
- Col and Wayne have asked guests not to buy presents, but to donate money to the Alder Hay Children’s hospital instead.
- The rumours of the butterfly in a box for Coleen to release after becoming Mrs. Rooney still persist. We think this is a terrible idea: butterflies, although beautiful, are still insects, which like to fly into hair and give you the heebeejebies whilst photographers snap away at your freaked out bug face. Also, the butterfly is likely to be pissed and not want to fly out of the box, and then Coleen will have to shake it out or touch it or something aggressive which goes against the whole delicate imagery of a butterfly making a break for freedom during a ceremony. The alternate stories of the entire wedding guest list being given a butterfly to release are equally concerning. What happened to the good old days of throwing rice in a new bride’s eye?
- Yes, we’ve given far too much thought to the butterfly thing.
- Our favourite quote from one of the locals in Portofino?
“Wayne Rooney I know, but who is his girlfriend? Nobody in Italy knows her. And they are only here now because England did not qualify for the Euro 2008, so we must feel sorry for them.”
Oh, dear readers, how will we sleep waiting for this momentous occasion? Hands down, this will be the WAG wedding of the year.