June 11th, 2008

The McRooney Nuptials: Nearly, Nearly


image via dailymail/Murray Saunders

We’re nearly there, Kickettes.

Coleen McLoughlin and Wayne Rooney have exchanged their first vows at a town hall in Santa Margherita di Ligure (Italian law requires them to file before officials at least 48 hours before they wish to marry). Coleen wore Missoni and looked fab. Wayne wore shorts and a t-shirt and looked like, well, he looked like Wayne.

During the short service, the pair told each other: “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.“ We assume they then immediately began laughing maniacally and rolled around in a pile of money, but we’re yet to have this formally confirmed.


Guests began arriving in Italy yesterday – most came on specially chartered jets from Liverpool.  So far, we’ve spotted Wayne’s parents (Jeanette and Wayne Snr) as well as his two brothers, Coleen’s parents, her brother and sister Rosie – who is slated to be a bridesmaid. Wayne’s mates Wes Brown and Everton’s Duncan Ferguson and Alan Stubbs were also there.

A few random facts to get you into the wedding spirit:

- There are 15 security staff on hand to keep the paparazzi under control.

- The costs for wedding are set to run at around £5 million, including a hired yacht and a planned fireworks display. Don’t be concerned over the spending – half of that will be made up for by the McRooney’s magazine deal with OK!.

- Col and Wayne have asked guests not to buy presents, but to donate money to the Alder Hay Children’s hospital instead.

- The rumours of the butterfly in a box for Coleen to release after becoming Mrs. Rooney still persist. We think this is a terrible idea: butterflies, although beautiful, are still insects, which like to fly into hair and give you the heebeejebies whilst photographers snap away at your freaked out bug face. Also, the butterfly is likely to be pissed and not want to fly out of the box, and then Coleen will have to shake it out or touch it or something aggressive which goes against the whole delicate imagery of a butterfly making a break for freedom during a ceremony. The alternate stories of the entire wedding guest list being given a butterfly to release are equally concerning. What happened to the good old days of throwing rice in a new bride’s eye?

- Yes, we’ve given far too much thought to the butterfly thing.

- Our favourite quote from one of the locals in Portofino?

“Wayne Rooney I know, but who is his girlfriend? Nobody in Italy knows her. And they are only here now because England did not qualify for the Euro 2008, so we must feel sorry for them.”

Oh, dear readers, how will we sleep waiting for this momentous occasion? Hands down, this will be the WAG wedding of the year.

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21 Responses to “The McRooney Nuptials: Nearly, Nearly”

  1. AJ says:

    I know it's their money and they can do whatever they damn well please with it but five million pounds is obscene. Maybe it's just the jealousy talking, I wanted my wedding in Italy but we couldn't afford to fly and house all the people we wanted to be there. :) Good luck to them and I'm still holding out hope for a non-horrific hairstyle on lovely Colleen.

  2. Pavi (Mrs Metzelder) says:

    I like that Wayne wore shorts and a t-shirt to exchange his vows even if it wasn’t the official wedding. Can’t wait to see the photos from the wedding.

  3. Brandy says:

    Gawd I love Italian people. That quote is wonderful and just puts into perspective how trivial these silly girls are. I like the donation request. Very classy.

  4. jax says:

    I agree about the butterfly massacre – releasing trained doves is one thing but the prospect of half-dead insects all over the floor seems a very bad idea. I've just bought 100 party poppers and streamers for 2 pounds for my daughter's party – I could have saved Wayne and Coll a fortune if only they'd called ! I like that they don't want any wedding gifts – Stevie G did the same , I think. John Terry registered at Harrods for gifts. Greedy – wonder if anyone got him a non-slip bath mat (sorry Chelsea fans, am feeling really very bitter at the Englandless Euros and have gone off football)

  5. HoneyBee says:

    I think it's bit to much to spend 5milion pounds on a wedding compared to amounts that other famous couples have spend but who knows if it's true.She looks great,he looks-yeah you're right like Wayne.Can't wait to see the pictures.

  6. AJ says:

    Kaya, I couldn't agree more. The whole industry is full of extortionists. You wouldn't believe what we had to pay for our cake (nothing special but more than anyone I knew was capable of doing) our flowers (you'd think they were dipped in gold for crying out loud) and don't get me started on the food for the reception (good but marked up by about 500% at least). They all stick together on their prices so you have no choice. I'm not a cheap person but I don't appreciate being taken advantage of. You had the right idea. :)

  7. TammyV says:

    Oh Kickette you underestimate… this could be the WAG wedding of the decade and battle Queen Vic’s for all time status.

  8. sarabee says:

    Ooh I love the dress! I believe her wedding dress has a 25 foot train. I hate the butterfly thing, it seems macabre to me. But |I suppose she didn’t really want hundreds of doves crapping all over her….

  9. Pavi (Mrs Metzelder) says:

    I like that Wayne wore shorts and a t-shirt to exchange his vows even if it wasn't the official wedding. Can't wait to see the photos from the wedding.

  10. TammyV says:

    Oh Kickette you underestimate… this could be the WAG wedding of the decade and battle Queen Vic's for all time status.

  11. sarabee says:

    Ooh I love the dress! I believe her wedding dress has a 25 foot train. I hate the butterfly thing, it seems macabre to me. But |I suppose she didn't really want hundreds of doves crapping all over her….

  12. linz826 says:

    I truly am excited for this one…I don't really care for either of them, not a fan of Wayne's looks but I do enjoy Colleen's. When I started with Kickette, I missed the big ones like John and Stevie's weddings, so I'm really interested in hearing all the gossip and seeing WAGtastic photo-ops!

  13. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    The charity donation is nice.. but nothing in the world can make me look at Wayne Rooney and not laugh. Its one of those impossible things.

  14. carly says:

    That dress is FAB but it doesn’t really suit her. It’s like she has no upper body, that’s not good.

  15. Sara says:

    Can’t wait for this horror show to begin!  wink

    btw..LOVE the dress.

  16. P says:

    The quote from the local is very funny and a bit sad for soon-to-be Mrs. Rooney. LOL! I laughed a lot at this post. Especially at the butterfly comment. They actually 'sold' their wedding to a magazine… for a whopping 2.5M pounds! I think that takes away some of the sincerity and meaning of the wedding. Oh well. Can't wait for more news/gossips and pics of the McLoughlin/Rooney nuptials!

  17. The Fourth Official says:

    The butterfly thing freaks me out too. And there is a whole anti-cruelty-to-butterflys-at-weddings movement on the web too. Apparently, like half of them are dead in the box already, and most of the rest just fall on the ground and lie there. Yuck. No wedding gifts!? Isn't that the point of getting married!? (just kidding – don't get all romance on my ass.) Well, I hope it all goes swimmingly and we get the pics soon!

  18. Becca x says:

    Im Soo Excited!! I Cant Wait To See Al The Pictures! Its Been All over The Tv And Newpapers.

  19. Sarah says:

    I think it's nice that they asked people to donate to a children's hospital instead of gifts. Dunno if I would be that selfless at my wedding…although I'm not loaded like them. Surely they can buy anything they need on their own, without help from the guests.

  20. MrsMichaelOwen says:

    they donate to the hospital because of coleens sister who is often in hospital due to her conditions. te butterfly thing?? dot get me started on that i will think mo than kickette did..x

  21. kaya says:

    That comment from the Portofino local is priceless. lol. I think the dress is nice… I don’t know. She kind of looks like a kid wearing something too grown up for her if you ask me. I try to think of the 5 million as a redistribution of wealth… but it still seems silly to me. After looking a bit into planning a smallish wedding for myself, I decided the whole industry was messed up. I opted to make sure both our parents were around and booked online at San Francisco City Hall :) It was fantastic, beautiful and simple. Best decision I ever made.