March 19th, 2007
The Shit List: The Beckhams
Usually we love us some Beckhams – you know that we do.
Usually, we love David for the obvious reasons (general hotness, thighs of thunder, etc) and we love Victoria for her tabloid consistency, designer gear and all around WAG professionalism. But there comes a point when we have to say, Stop The Madness. Or, to be more direct about it, “bitch, please!“. We’ve been here before, and we were onside with it all. But today for a limited time only, The Beckham are on our Shit List.
The latest string of Becks news in the press, ranging from Victoria feeding David special foods so they can conceive a baby girl, to their rock solid relationship, is working our last Monday morning nerve.
On Friday everyone media-related was given the full disclosure about the Beckhams’ 10th anniversary celebration. (They booked into the Lowry Hotel in Manchester, which was decorated with candles and white flowers. David gave Victoria jewellery. Their kids were there. As were the mothers/in-laws. All basking in the celebratory glow of David and Victoria, in love, forever and ever amen for 10 years. Victoria apparently told her mates: “It was a momentous night. Our closeness and romance is as strong as ever.“)
Ever heard that expression, “those who know don’t say”? If things are so great, why do you have to continually tell us about it? Can’t you just enjoy the momentous closeness and shut up? Seriously, if you were married to Becks with three kids and millions of dollars would you even bother to speak to anyone? Ever? We would just laugh all day at the poor peasants who had to go to work and gaze at lesser men across the dinner table every night. But we digress.
Victoria recently said being apart from David is very hard on her. “I just have a breakdown and cry a lot. The hardest part of my life is when I’m away from David. Everything else I can cope with…..“
Then, “We have a security team everywhere we go – school, shopping, to McDonald’s – and I don’t like it. Do I wish I was anonymous? Of course.“
Anyone wishing to insert a “bitch, please!“ here, please feel free.
The reality as we see it: the facade is crumbling.
It’s fairly common knowledge that David has a wandering eye, and more and more reports are coming out that things are strained between the two of them. (By the way, does anyone remember this painful photo call just after David got (allegedly) busted for hooking up with Rebecca Loos? Ouch.) An insider says “they’re like ships that pass in the night.“ They’ve spent very little time together this year, and David is said to be annoyed at Victoria signing her TV deal because he wanted a more low key start to things in America.
We’re going to put it out there: it’s okay if you split up, okay? We’ll all still love you, heck, maybe even a little more. Brand Beckham will never die. So just chill with the PR campaign.
Rant finished, we will now return to our regularly scheduled programming.