March 27th, 2008

The Thursday Thigh Off: Gerrard v Lampard


It’s the battle of the big guns this week. Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard is going quad to quad with Chelsea’s Frank Lampard.

Is anyone familiar with Frank’s well-publicized lament at the difficulty in shopping for clothes as a baller?  “I suffer from the curse of footballers’ thighs. It’s a pain shopping for jeans.” 


Silly, silly Frank, it’s not a curse, it’s a gift. Where’s the gratitude? Yeesh.


Lampsy’s impressive love of short shorts vs Steven Gerrard’s hard working thunder thighs.  Ah, this is a tricky one; we leave it up to you. 

Congratulations to last week’s winner, Luis Garcia who trounced his competition. Sorry JJ, don’t let the locker room door hit you on the way out.


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101 Responses to “The Thursday Thigh Off: Gerrard v Lampard”

  1. Frau Philipp ;D S??? says:

    Steven ;) Haha.. ;P

  2. Pussycat says:

    How many people would be up for a Frank ‘n’ Stevie Sandwich? One All Beef Frank layered with sliced tongue? Ew. No idea where that came from! Must have been the sight of Stevie’s thighs. Swoon.

  3. c9 says:

    Okay so it’s still morning where I am, and what a morning it is!

    WHOA!!!!!! You all know that I am not a Stevie G. nor am I a Lampard fan, but I have to say ddaaammmmnnnn for STEVIE’S THIGHS!!!!!!!!  My goodness first the butt shot and now the thighs……I LOVE THURSDAY’S!!!!!!

    Oh and my friend here who I share all things kickette with also votes for Stevie!!!!

    Go Stevie!!!!!!, oh, where is Elise?

  4. cheryl bites says:

    Hmm, I’ll go with Lamps.

    Careful with your computer hardware there, ladies. Notebooks and peripherals are not usually waterproof and cannot withstand a shower of #### juices as you orgasm upon them.

  5. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    As long as you keep us as entertained as she does with some kerazeeeee outfits!!

    Also when you meet him, try to restrain from wrapping yourself round his thighs!! Apparently baller’s don’t like this…….Humpphhhh……I was only saying hello………!!!!

  6. anonymous says:

    Stevie G deffo, he

  7. LoveLamps says:

    My dedication will be rewarded in November when I meet Frank and he dumps Elen for me!  <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  8. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Look if Frank was up agaist 99% of other ballers, I’d pick him. But I genuinely prefer Stevie’s thighs! I do however think Lamps would be very upset about losing this (If he does of course)

    I like your dedication LoveLamps, also checked out your blog, very good.

  9. Sarah says:


    Hahaha random note, my security word is “men64”.

  10. Ally says:

    As much as it pains me to say this, because I can’t stand either one of them, I think Stevie G wins this.

    *goes to wash out mouth with soap*

  11. Lampsy4eva says:


    No Doubt abt it …. he should wear more really short shorts …. love him and his thighs LOL

  12. LoveLamps says:

    People, look at the thighs, not the kit!  Frank wins hands and thighs down!

  13. Riley says:


    Man he has some thighs on him!!!  wink

  14. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Whoooops, so it is my tongue!  tongue laugh

  15. Boo! says:

    Stevie G for me!

  16. The Fourth Official says:

    That’s your tongue, Mrs. X.  Or your heaving perspiring bosoms.  One or the other.

  17. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Scotty boy you have good taste wink

    Oh god, I’m getting outta here once Elise arrives!

    Still sticking with Stevie too! Those thighs have caused my screen to get all wet somehow!!

  18. LoveLamps says:

    Oh yeah!  Elise where are you?  Join the WAR!

  19. tammyv says:

    This is not about playing ability, faces, hair, ability to wear shiny clothes or appear unfazed when your WAG looks ridiculous…

    IT IS ABOUT THE SECTION BETWEEN KNEES AND HIPBONE…. that is the space owned by Frankie L.

  20. The Fourth Official says:

    Too bad Elise isn’t around today – she’d be bitch slapping every Stevie G. thigh-fan.  Better duck when she gets back, girls.

  21. Sassy Miss Thang says:

    Oh wow!  Frank all the way!

  22. scarlett says:

    Got To Be Frank He Wins Hands Down!

    But Them Short Shorts Are A Bit Weird :S

  23. LoveLamps says:

    Scott (aka Mrs. Cristiano Ronaldo), quit logging in as your girlfriend to vote for Stevie G.  It’s ok to have a man crush on him, but this is serious stuff!

    Yes my fellow Kickettes, the word is spreading through the office about the thigh off!

  24. The Fourth Official says:

    Don’t you mean fairiest, Andrea?

  25. Andrea says:

    Frank’s thighs are the fairest in the realm.

  26. Mrs. Cristiano Ronaldo says:

    Frank is UGLY!  Stevie G. is HOT!

  27. LoveLamps says:

    Seriously, Mrs. Cristiano Ronaldo, must you do everything your beloved tells you?  Look at those Frank thighs!

  28. Mrs. Christiano Ronaldo says:

    Stevie Gerrard PLEASE!!!!

  29. Susan says:

    FRANK is the Thigh Guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. klyn312 says:

    oh yeah, did I mention?

          STEVIE G!!!!!!!

  31. klyn312 says:


    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="cheese" style="border:0;" />

  32. LoveLamps says:

    These people obviously have not had their morning cup of Java yet and are blind!  Frank is the THIGH MASTER!

  33. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    And if he still loses you will be even more crushed! I am suprised as many people are voting Stevie, the ladies on here obviously know their thighs!!

  34. LoveLamps says:

    Go for it TFO!  Just make sure they vote for Frank.  I’ve already had one male colleague vote for Frank.  It does not hurt that I’m his boss!

  35. Vicky says:

    The One and Only FRANK LAMPARD!

  36. The Fourth Official says:

    I don’t like either of them as players, but it’s about the thighs, remember, ladies?  LoveLamps, you make me laugh.  My employees are guys – should I ask them to vote?

  37. LoveLamps says:

    It is not cheating to rally the troops to battle!  I will defend my Frank at all costs!

  38. I Love Frank says:

    It is clear that Frank wins this one.  I do not like Gerrard.

  39. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Hey no cheating Love Lamps! All’s fair in love and thighs.

  40. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    There are shy kickettes????

  41. LoveLamps says:

    I’m having my entire team at work vote for Frank.  This is ABSURD!

  42. The Fourth Official says:

    Nothing like a good thigh-off to bring the shy kickettes out of the woodwork, eh?

  43. RedBug says:

    Seriously, Frank!  What is wrong with you people?!

  44. Roxanne says:

    FRANK LAMPARD yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    all the way !!!!!!!!!!

  45. candace says:

    Ok how the heck am I supposed to vote in a thigh-off when my least favorite players are up for scrutiny???  Ok well I guess I hate Liverpool less than Chelsea and at least we aren’t voting for Lampie and Terry – YUCK -!  So I guess I will have to go with Gerrard.

  46. Rhona says:

    um def gerrard hes so masculine lik!!:):):):):):)

  47. Loz2Hi says:

    Well I would love to be between either’s thighs!  I have to say Frank appears to be a little less hairy – that is my vote.

  48. April [: says:

    STEVIE G..STEVIE G.. <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" /> 

    Defo. I fink you sud do cutest footballer <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" /> Theo Walcott!!


  49. DeeDee says:

    Frank wins!!!

  50. linz says:

    UGH!! How can you even put someone up against Frankie!!!??  He wins hands down…and kickette, that quote has officially made my day! 

    AHHH, so this would explain why he has to buy such horrid jeans with paint stains on them because he can’t fit into sexy ones that show off his amazing ass and thighs…completely acceptable!

  51. Juanita says:


  52. Katie says:

    Got to be Stevie! Look at those beasts…. yummy!

  53. LoveLamps says:


    This is not even a contest Kickette and I cannot believe you would suggest it.  I’m offended.

  54. lilly says:

    No contest it has to be Stevie G

  55. Shelby says:

    This one goes to Frank.

  56. Pussycat says:

    Well my vote is of no doubt – Stevie G all the way! Though I’d rather imagine MY legs wrapped around him…

  57. DanyLamps says:

    Lampsy Obvious!!!
    And yes, is a gift… oohh my god… his legs!! smile

  58. cassie says:

    gerrard fo’ shizzzle.

  59. Yasi says:

    Just sweeetieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Frankie!!! <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="kiss" style="border:0;" />
    I Love him and he is not silly at all!!!
    olso I love his short shorts!!!
    Thanks kickette!

  60. Bonnie says:

    Stevie for the win!

  61. Gigi says:

    Stevie.  But I wouldn’t kick either of them out of bed.

  62. Kandi Kane says:

    Stevie G., of course.

  63. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Oh I am E, I am tongue wink

  64. xlxcx says:

    Who wears short shorts? Lampsy wears short shorts!

  65. The Fourth Official says:

    Gotta give it to Stevie.

  66. E says:

    Some contest, No contest you mean!!!!

    Stevie G all the way

    Imagine those babys wrapped round you!!!!

  67. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Stevie, Stevie G, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie G!!!!

    This is some contest!!!!!

  68. The Fourth Official says:

    I *can’t* love the Stevie.  I just can’t.  But I’m totally judging it on the thighs alone.  That last Stevie shot?  It’s a woman killer.  I’m sorry.  I’m cheaper than a $2 hooker.

  69. Lv says:

    Stevie G, its so0 obvious :D :D

  70. Elise says:

    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />
    TFO and Mrs.Xabi, you slay me!  And you know- you KNOW- it took every ounce of self control I possess to not post, like, 374 Frank thigh pics!!!  See- that’s why I had no self-control left with which to resist the chocolate!!  LOL

  71. Johnna says:

    LAAAAAAAAAAAAMPSY. No contest at all, Frank and Cristiano tie for best thighs of them all.

  72. Cherry says:

    Stevie beats Frank easily. Lampard’s legs are short looking. No one has better looking legs than Stevie.

  73. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    What?!!! I am sooo not taking the blame for this one! I havn’t spammed the site with pics for ages! Nope, Fourth that was all you. Just admit you love the Stevie!!!

  74. The Fourth Official says:

    Sorry, Elise.  <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="red face" style="border:0;" />  It was totally Kickette’s fault.  She didn’t show the right pics.  No, it was Mrs. X’s fault!!!  Like,  totally!!!!  She’s like Dr. Evil when she gets a chance.  I was powerless against her vile machinations!!  See what happens when you go away!!

  75. Elise says:

    Oh, and LoveLamps, I *am* eating chocolate.  In fact, I’ve just finished eating an ENTIRE Lindt Extra Creamy Milk Chocolate bar and I’m not EVEN going to look at the calorie content because I’m sure it’s something like 3 million calories.  No, instead of a number, there’s probably a picture of a pig beside the word calorie!!!  I meant to eat only a square or two, but then I opened Kickette and the madness began. 
    Oh god…I feel kinda sick….
    LOL  sick  LOL

  76. Elise says:

    Okay, girls.  Elise is here.  She’s here and she’s absolutely appalled, I tell you.  Shocked and appalled!  (and saying WTF an awful lot)
    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />

    I’m away (mostly) for a couple of days and come back to find this absolute madness!  For the life of me I cannot figure out just what the hell is going on when this many people sincerely think Stevie’s thighs are better than Frankie’s majestically thunderous thighs of perfection! TFO, I’m ashamed of you!  <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" /> 

    For those of you who rightly appreciate the awesomeness that is Frank’s thighs- a classic and a sure-to-be classic:……

    For those of you who inexplicably cast your vote for Stevie:…

    (disclaimer: all in fun, of course!)

    my security word is ‘hell’- no joke.  I’m LMAO.

  77. FootballerChick43 says:

    Steven Gerrard. No contest.

    I got a little.. woo. That boy is fineeeeeee and he gets a lot finer when he is carrying a man bag, wearing jeans, and escorting Miss Lilly-Ella.

    That has to be the prettiest name ever.

  78. sarabee says:

    Lol TFO and Mrs XA!!!

    Yes, tis about the thighs….and on thighs Stevie wings it for me!

    I love Thigh-Off!!!! Everyone comes out of hiding!


  79. brandy, aka CR's Official Mistress in Perpetuity : says:

    How bold of you Kickette! They truly are the bigs guns when it comes to obsessions with your readers – I have a feeling that there will be claw marks and tears.

    Neither particularly do it for me, and I am not that much of a thigh girl (I’m all about face, torso and ass lol) but my vote goes to STEVIE because he looked cute in his grey jumper and jeans with his daughter a few posts back, whereas Frank always has on gold shiny shirts. Plus Stevie needs some kind of consolation for having married ACG – poor thing!

  80. nicky xxx says:

    Stevie wins am afraid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  81. Vanessa says:

    Omg I love Lamps but its gotta be STEVIE ALL THE WAY!!! pure sex, i tell ya ! i am a little hot and bothered after those awesome Stevie pictures wink Thoughts , many many thoughts lol smile

  82. Sarah x says:

    Frank Wins Hands Down!
    Hes Got Amazin’ Legs!

  83. Pussycat says:

    But Tammy have you ever seen Stevie’s thighs in person? How can you have chosen without covering all bases? You must approach these things scientifically.

  84. Tammyv says:

    Gina that is Malouda…having seen Lamps thighs in person.  It changed me forever.

  85. Genevieve says:

    STEVIE G, hands down – does one of you Frank-lovers want to attempt to explain the attraction? Cos I have to say when it comes to old Lampsy, I just don’t get it…

  86. Pussycat says:

    Mmmmmm – chocolate….now I want chocolate! Evil woman!
    And Stevie G STILL has the best thighs. And six-pack. And chest. And…

  87. Gina says:

    It’s Lamps for me, definitely!

    But I do think we should give honorable mention to the guy fighting Stevie G for the ball in that last picture. Some nice definition on them thighs as well – is that Malouda?

  88. Nic says:

    OMG wait- PS- LoveLamps- just went on your blog—I now have something else to keep me totally amused and content at work once I’ve got my morning fill of Kickette! thank you!!!!!!!!!

  89. Nic says:


  90. LoveLamps says:

    My team is letting me down.  Not everyone is willing to vote.  I’m completely depressed at the thought that my beautiful Frank may lose this when we all know he has the best thighs in the world!  Must go eat chocolate now.

  91. Nae says:

    Stevie G wins it hands down in my book. Lumps just doesn’t do it for me. I’m not into doughnuts!

  92. Summer says:

    Steven Gerrard!!! Sweety))

  93. Ella says:

    Steven, Steven, Steven. And that’s final.

    Oh, and count me in on the sandwich Pussycat.

  94. LittleRedTriangle says:

    stevie all the way

  95. jax says:

    Frank wins for me but am surprisingly feeling some Stevie lust….

    By the way kickettes Radio 5 had an interview with Rio in which he said (re captaincy)

    ‘Giggsy has taken over the mantlepiece from Gary Neville’

    Made me choke on my tea – bless him !! <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />

  96. laura terry says:

    oh frankie wins…hands down ….WOW

  97. miss london says:

    Oh!…!my God!!!Frank’s thighs!!!
    Sooo Hot!!! cool smile
    I Love Him!mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! raspberry

  98. Pussycat says:

    Actually Frank’s short shorts do very little for me.

  99. c9 says:

    Okay, got another vote for Stevie from a MALE co-worker in my office! No he’s not gay, he’s married <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  100. Amelie says:

    Steven. that last picture is delicious…