May 28th, 2009

The TTO: Carles Puyol v Gerard Pique

Puyol/Pique TTOToday’s Thursday Thigh off is brought to you by the sexy chicas at ONTD Football. Please pay them a visit; embrace the crazy, it’s for the best.

We still can’t get the Champions League theme song out of our heads.

Please send help.

We had a good final, and yourselves? We quivered on the edges of our seats in cross-legged anticipation and excitement. Not even the sight of Prince Will’s balding skull could slow us down.

Barcelona, it seems, should be the capital city of Earth. Beautiful league trophy, beautiful European trophy, beautiful football, beautiful architecture, beautiful people, beautiful food, beautiful beaches, beautiful Vicky & Cristina… and as word on the street would have it, some decent quads.

We’re still floating about in a sparkling red ocean of sangría over the Catalan victory. A toast, perhaps? To thighs. And delicious defenders. Come on a flex and tone journey with us.

Puyol/Pique TTOCarles Puyol
We have a really big crush on Puyol.

Wait. We are going to explain it to you.

Sometimes, the CRonaldos and the FTorreses of the pitch get, well, boring. They’re too pretty, they’re too easy. They’re obvious. They’re breezy, fruit-flavoured wine coolers. Sure, you’d hit it, but you’d get bored. It’d be vanilla. They might make you breakfast in the morning – but what’s on the menu? Probably an egg-white omelette.

But oh, give us Carles! Mmm, our… hearts… are aflutter at his manliness!

With his distinctive hairstyle (really, it hasn’t changed at all since he was a babby baller… we admire such commitment), shiver-inducing torso area, thighs so fine, and ferocious captaining, we’re, um, going to go over there for a second please excuse us our mobiles are on vibrate if it’s urgent…

You don’t start off on Puyi, he’s quite an acquired taste. He’s like Czech fernet stock, he’s like your great uncle’s really old whiskey. He listens to death metal! He’s got pullable hair and we don’t doubt the existence of a handcuff collection! Tyra Banks introduced “fierce” into the fashionable global vernacular after seeing Puyol on the pitch. Yep, you’d hit it (literally, because he’d be into that), and then you’d do brekky and have Coco Puffs and, ahem, sausage.

We’re aware that not everybody understands this beautiful specimen. Taunts of “NER NER CAPTAIN CAVEMAN!” and “AHHH-aaah-AAaaAAHHH TARZAN!” do not fall on deaf ears. In retort, I offer you this: ooga booga unf unf mm mmm you Puyol me woman we mate now.

Puyol/Pique TTOPuyol/Pique TTO


Puyol/Pique TTOGerard Piqué
Gerard Piqué, it must be said, is a fairly recent realization.

We didn’t really understand him and something just didn’t seem right, but we get it now. We were being a bit silly, and we apologize. We’ve come around and accepted the fact that he’s quite dreamy. He’s tall, like 6’4″ tall.

His goofy, prankster ways, sense of humour (he once described teammate Andres Iniesta as “a loaf of bread”… right up our alley), and Titty Henry’s “he’s a funny/cool guy” seal of approval, have us foaming at the mouth and clawing at discount airline websites.

Conclusion: yes please.

Puyol/Pique TTOTTOPuyol/Pique TTO

So… who gets your vote this week?


Congratulations to last week’s TTO winner, Theo Walcott. He and his pornstache took the win over Robin Van Persie. Next week, the Thigh Off is on hiatus – but will return with our Baller Bingo winner’s first pick!

Related Posts with Thumbnails

65 Responses to “The TTO: Carles Puyol v Gerard Pique”

  1. FernieT says:

    I love both Pique and Puyol, but strictly based on thighs, I say Puyol.

  2. kate says:

    jesus<span class="wbr"></span> hms<span class="wbr"></span> christ<span class="wbr"></span> i<span class="wbr"></span> have<span class="wbr"></span> misplaced<span class="wbr"></span><span class="wbr"></span> my<span class="wbr"></span><span class="wbr"></span> sanity.<span class="wbr"></span> steph:<span class="wbr"></span> was<span class="wbr"></span> gonna<span class="wbr"></span> do<span class="wbr"></span> bojan<span class="wbr"></span> (ooer)<span class="wbr"></span> but<span class="wbr"></span> i<span class="wbr"></span> could've<span class="wbr"></span> sworn<span class="wbr"></span> he'd<span class="wbr"></span> be<span class="wbr"></span> done<span class="wbr"></span> already<span class="wbr"></span> (double<span class="wbr"></span> ooer)

  3. BS_guapa_grl6 says:

    I have been waiting for this day…gottal love the Barca squad. Well this is easy for me because he will always be onmy top list of the best thighs in football history….PUYOL ALL THE WAY!!!! His thighs are massive and watching him play at close distance at Camp Nou literally took my breath away…;)Picture number two demonstrates what I am talking about lol…He may not be gorgous in the face but his thighs are the BEST!!!!

  4. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbe says:

    Wow, that was an awesome TTO! But simply for the introduction alone I'm going with Puyol who I will never be able to look at in the same way again…something to do with the 'Unf unf' quote!

  5. Pingu says:

    om nom nom i'll say puyi on thighs but dj piquenbauer is amazing

  6. misslpool says:

    pique , i reckon hes so manly its untrue an his eyes oh how they do shine yeps pique

  7. Dreamgirl says:

    Bad timing Kickette. I chose not to vote.

  8. Matilda says:

    Carles for president!!! Ahem, I mean I give my vote for Puyi.

  9. Mrs.De Rossi says:

    I agree about Bojan but since he is not an option Piqué just because I like my thigh with a sense of humor

  10. Forever Torres says:

    Pique x

  11. Pavi (Mrs Metzelder) says:

    My vote goes to Pique but I'm with Moonie on wanting some VV thighs!

  12. Pavi (Mrs Metzelder) says:

    My vote goes to Pique but I’m with Moonie on wanting some VV thighs!

  13. Fer_Lahm says:

    PIQUE(L)

  14. Barcelinha says:

    this<span class="wbr"></span> is<span class="wbr"></span> so<span class="wbr"></span> hard<span class="wbr"></span> to<span class="wbr"></span> choose.<span class="wbr"></span> hmpf,<span class="wbr"></span> seriously,<span class="wbr"></span> Pique<span class="wbr"></span> is<span class="wbr"></span> overall<span class="wbr"></span> gorgeous<span class="wbr"></span> and<span class="wbr"></span> i<span class="wbr"></span> love<span class="wbr"></span> him<span class="wbr"></span> and<span class="wbr"></span> his<span class="wbr"></span> sense<span class="wbr"></span> of<span class="wbr"></span> humour<span class="wbr"></span> like<span class="wbr"></span> a<span class="wbr"></span> fat<span class="wbr"></span> kid<span class="wbr"></span> loves<span class="wbr"></span> cake.<span class="wbr"></span> but<span class="wbr"></span> Puyol……oh<span class="wbr"></span> what<span class="wbr"></span> can<span class="wbr"></span> i<span class="wbr"></span> say<span class="wbr"></span> about<span class="wbr"></span> a<span class="wbr"></span> man<span class="wbr"></span> built<span class="wbr"></span> like<span class="wbr"></span> a<span class="wbr"></span> tank<span class="wbr"></span> from<span class="wbr"></span> head<span class="wbr"></span> to<span class="wbr"></span> toe,<span class="wbr"></span> with<span class="wbr"></span> a<span class="wbr"></span> curly<span class="wbr"></span> mop<span class="wbr"></span> on<span class="wbr"></span> top???<span class="wbr"></span> Puyol's<span class="wbr"></span> thighs<span class="wbr"></span> are<span class="wbr"></span> simply<span class="wbr"></span> better,<span class="wbr"></span> rounder:<span class="wbr"></span> sheer<span class="wbr"></span> perfect<span class="wbr"></span> muscle.<span class="wbr"></span> and<span class="wbr"></span> YEAH,<span class="wbr"></span> i<span class="wbr"></span> totally<span class="wbr"></span> would,<span class="wbr"></span> death<span class="wbr"></span> metal<span class="wbr"></span> and<span class="wbr"></span> cuffs<span class="wbr"></span> included.<span class="wbr"></span>

  15. Eternal Dreamer says:

    My oh my, Puyol’s thighs and Piqué’s eyes! Obvs, Puyol for the (thigh-off) win!

  16. Becca says:

    Gerard Pique :)

  17. Smurfette says:

    I vote Puyol! I never thought of Puyol in that way but Kickette you may have changed my mind. Although it kinda feels wrong… But he does have an amazing body.

  18. Modesty Blaze says:

    MY GOD, Puyi! Love those thighs and the hair. What more can you say than run-your-fingers-through, pullable, OMG hair!

  19. Me says:

    VISCA EL BARCA!!

  20. Jelly says:

    puyol *sniffs* still upset about the game

  21. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Pique for me!

  22. aristeia says:

    First and most importantly. Your Puyol diatribe was one of the most entertaining things I've read on here– and you're always entertaining. Kickette (and bundesliga from the comments), I am so w/ you on this it's not funny. Puyol? I would, I would, I would. And I've seen him shirtless in person. This is no joke, kids. It'll make your bones turn to jelly. Both men are FINE specimens… but on thighs, I have to go w/ Puyol. Holy Zlatan on high, I do love some long lanky legs, but for me it has to be Puyol. OM NOM NOM.

  23. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    Carles Puyol. Just for that introduction. Funniest. Thigh Off. Ever.

  24. Jhonson says:

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  25. Cesc_gal says:

    Pique winz!! Defo!! Hands Dwn..& Shrtz Up Lol
    Wata Man!!

    Luvn Him & Braca
      xxxx

  26. Anna says:

    PIQUE!

  27. Christina V says:

    Congratulations Barcelona-boys! I say Puyol, he

  28. debc says:

    Love those Barca boys. They played AWESOME! Going for Puyol. Fantastic thighs, hard body. Love me some Pique also.

  29. Rachel says:

    Based on thighs, Puyol. But I love Pique and Puyol is growing on me

  30. emirates says:

    PIQUE…but puyol has a hot bod

  31. fcbfan says:

    I have to go with Piqué. Those long thighs are doing it for me. Alright, stretch?

  32. Lolinha says:

    Both were great last night and in general great players. I used to have a thing for Piqué, but all the warm and fuzzy feelings died when I discovered he had a thing with Dani Lloyd (Thanks to you ). Ick. Anyway Puyol wins this one, quite easily. And BTW Puyol, are you f*cking kidding me women! You want him handcuffed, hair loose with some death metal playing on the background. Seriously? And there isn't such a thing as too pretty. Exibit one/and only: Iker. You don't get bored watching that piece of delicious man-candy that GOD of on the pitch sexy-crazy. Sergio Ramos is an acquired taste, a crush on Carles is a moment of temporary insanity, a psychotic episode in the making . Ok I'm no one to judge. At least you're being honest. And your example brought out such an avalanche of closeted Puyol lovers that frankly I'm a little scared of this turn of events and happy for ya'll who have the courage to come out and make such an announcement. All the power to you. I'm staying in the closet with my own ugly hotties though.

  33. imhereforthenando says:

    Puyol definitely gets my vote. He can man my cave any day!

  34. Meer. says:

    I'm sorry, I can't. No. No, no, no, no, no.

  35. XOBarcaBabyOX says:

    pique!

  36. Lola says:

    I think that Pique's long lankies are better, even if handcuffs and death metal are rather appealing.

  37. HiL says:

    Pique. Even though it's hard for me after the final.. I will always have a soft spot for Pique and his thighs. (with no relation to the fact that really dislike Puyol)

  38. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Lolololol blue… you're at it again with those Puyol pics. Anyway… Puyol is getting my vote, those thighs are lovely.

  39. Fiorella says:

    both are amazing, Visca El Barca!!

  40. bundesliga says:

    Finally, some love for my love, Puyol. I always get made fun of for having an intense crush on him. And I'm not being biased, Puyol's thighs are simply better than Pique's.

  41. Blondie says:

    Pique =)

  42. Dee13 (mrs m metze) says:

    LOL *high fives the closet puyol lovers* LOL puyol it is.. hells yes…! ;D

  43. Nina (Mrs Gerrard) says:

    after a thorough inspection I chose Puyol. But it was close.

  44. Venice says:

    Great defenders, and good timing! Both were outstanding last night! They really deserve some loving. I'm going to go with Piqué too. Puyol gives good thigh too, but there's nothing like beautiful long legs on a guy and at 6'4 those legs are at perfect length.

  45. Lucy says:

    Aw man, I wanted a Leo vs Andres TTO! I can't vote in this one! Also I do believe Blue is trying to sway the vote by posting abs and moobs – disqualification! :P

  46. Erin says:

    These two were both IMMENSE last night, so well chosen contestants for the TTO! On the basis of thighs alone, I think I'm going to have to go with Pique. I prefer the lankier leg. But don't despair, Puyol, you're not far behind!

  47. bluesfan says:

    Pique, definitely.

  48. talithaxoxo says:

    Gosh, love them both. But I’ll go with Puyol

  49. BarcaGirl says:

    oh my god, this post is seriously hysterical. but, i’m going with my caveman puyol.

  50. lemonstarbursts says:

    While I adore Pique… based on thighs alone, it’s Puyol hands down!

  51. glamour.pixie says:

    captain Puyol!

  52. Dani.Mrs José Manuel Reina (PLQ) says:

    Pique Please !

  53. Moonie says:

    Hmmm I have to admit when it comes to Barca thighs I can’t really get excited about any other than VVs but if forced I’ll go with Pique I guess.

  54. striker says:

    Pique!!

  55. Mel (Mrs. Pique, the one and only) says:

    Pique. Gotta support the hubby. And his thighs. I don’t wanna be the boring girl giving Spanish lessons and u can perfectly tell me to shut up, but here we go: the ‘loaf of bread’ Iniesta wasn’t actually a joke, it’s just a question of bad translation into English. In Spanish, ‘ser un trozo de pan’ (what they literally translated) is a set phrase. It means you’re a very good person, I’d even say it implies some kind of naivety. My dictionary says the equivalent phrase in English is ‘to be as good as gold.’ You are all free to yawn now :-)

  56. blue_skyz says:

    to accompany the following statement "ooga booga unf unf mm mmm you Puyol me woman we mate now" we need appropriate soundtrack:
    Despite my obvious love for long, rather lanky legs – just see Javi’s and Metze’s – the winner of this TTO in my book is Puyi! Just look at the delish skin tone, muscle definition, the strength of those thunders, and more importantly – the absence of base layers. And though he may not be as pretty as Iker, he sure knows what ladies want :D
    PhotobucketPhotobucket
    Go on – don’t be shy – click on the pictures :)

  57. Ali says:

    PUYI!

  58. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    Kate: He has, but that’s because his thighs are pretty much the best out of the entire Barca squads. I understand though. He now has a Kings Cup, a La Liga title and a CL title to add to his mantle next to his TTO win :D

  59. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    I vote Bojan! Oh wait…. yeah, seeing as this TTO is just plain wrong and lacks in hotness I stick with Bojan! Photobucket

  60. Zatil says:

    Puyol.

  61. Filthygorgeous says:

    Puyol for thigh-based reasons only. Still in mourning over *that* game and the fact I just put my glass of red wine down when I went to answer my phone and now I can’t find it. How can I lose a glass in my own house?! But I digress. See ladies, I have my priorities right, footballers thighs and good wine…nice. lol

  62. Lucy says:

    Aw man, I wanted a Leo vs Andres TTO! I can’t vote in this one! Also I do believe Blue is trying to sway the vote by posting abs and moobs – disqualification! :P

  63. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Firstly that was the single most hilarious thing I have read in a long time.

    Secondly, while I struggle to deal with the size of his head Gerard is a very pretty guy.

    And finally, even though it makes me feel a bit wrong, my vote is with Puyol.

  64. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Firstly that was the single most hilarious thing I have read in a long time.

    Secondly, while I struggle to deal with the size of his head Gerard is a very pretty guy.

    And finally, even though it makes me feel a bit wrong, my vote is with Puyol.

  65. Avenath says:

    I think it’s only right i pick Pique…coz i sure as hell didn’t notice him before this :p