August 13th, 2009
The TTO: Carlton Cole vs. Glen Johnson
The new season can only mean one thing: the return of the Thursday Thigh Off. Thank quadness!
Today, we’re putting the spotlight on two talented workin’ boys from the England NT* and focusing on their excellent contribution to the global thighasphere. Welcome, Carlton Cole and Glen Johnson.
Standing at a towering six-foot-three, 25-year-old Cole’s adductors are incredibly longus and strongus. Possibly produced in a rock quarry, his asymmetrical thighs-wide-open approach leaves many ladies waiting to see which chiseled muscular strain will pop next.
When he’s not playing up front for England, CC does the day-job thing with West Ham. Bonus: Carlton is far from shy when it comes to showing off his… manscaping.
Redefining meaty bone, this new Liverpool boy’s thighs fall under the heavy machinery category of muscle groups. Glen’s a smart lad – he often forgoes the evil that is base layers, preferring to give everything in his shorts the air circulation it so requires and desires.
After last night’s iffy performance, some are asking if Glen can cut it at this level. If “cuts” like this can’t make it, we don’t know what will.
*This week’s team choices are brought to you by readers Malin and Baby Freya, who won our Baller Bingo competition earlier in the year.
Their prize was to pick two TTO teams for us to judge – the English NT is their first choice.
Who gets your vote this week?
A friendly reminder that this is strictly a fun and frivolous celebration of man flesh and man flesh only. Team colours at the door, and if you have nothing nice to say, at least bring presents/wine. Judging men is meant to bond and bring us all together, after all.