November 28th, 2008

The TTO:  Fernando Llorente Torres v Emmanuel Adebayor


Time for another Thursday/Friday Thigh Off. It’s a battle between the leggy and the leggier this week.

Come on in and share your quadrific analysis.

This week’s Thigh Off is brought to you by ONTD Football.

It’s been a busy week for us at Kickette HQ: The Virgin Bojan’s got a potty mouth, Fernando Torres is injured again, our unofficial community posterboy and mushroom-hater Cesc was named Capitán Fabulous (Fabrelous? Fabugas?) of Arsenal, and… Champions League matches! Please tell us you watched the arctic Real Madrid v BATE Borisov game and saw Iker, erm, adjusting himself before a goal kick… Mmph.

Once in a while, it’s important to take a breather and remember what’s important before you lose sight of things. Work, college, shopping, running out of room on your TiVO/SkyPlus/television recording equivalent because you’ve got too many footie matches, the credit crrrunch, people leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge, sleeping through all four of your morning alarms, some random stepping on your stilettos, relationship drama with your stalker of choice, these are all stressful obstacles in the journey of life.

Allow us to help. Though we may hail from all around the globe, we can all take a time out to make a little American Spanksgiving detour. Let’s send a quick prayer of thanks for what’s truly important in life to the big guy in the net, San Iker.

Hallowed San Iker, guardian of goal,
Give us this Thursday our weekly thigh,
So muscley and delish,
Our mouths go dry.
Hallowed San Iker, with your magnificent nose,
Thank you for thine blessing o’ thigh,
For the Thigh Off this week, these are the studs we chose:

First, ladies (and possible lurking curious gentlemen): Fernando Llorente Torres (what is it with Spain and tall, hunky forwards named Fernando Torreses?!). A striker for the Basque side Athletic Bilbao, he’s six feet and five inches(!) of legginess, blond curls, and virtuoso clarinet skills. And, we don’t doubt that he’s also done time as some sort of Abercrombie & Fitch model.



Next, Emmanuel Adebayummy. He’s an equally leggy Togolese striker who helps to up the Arsenal sexyfactor. He’s the star of countless hilarious Youtube gems (look at us sneaking in our daily dose of Hleb!) and daaang, boy’s got moves. He scores a lotta goals, too…

Mmm. Tall thigh. Happy voting.

Congrats to last week’s winner who took it by a chest hair – Zinedine Zidane narrowly won over Luis Figo’s awesome thigh power. Congrats!

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51 Responses to “The TTO:  Fernando Llorente Torres v Emmanuel Adebayor”

  1. shawan says:

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  2. dianabol says:

    I had never heard about these people until now, but it is a great article.


  3. The Fourth Official says:

    Adebayor makes me itch, and not in a good way, so I guess I'll vote for the tall blondie.

  4. mandanicole says:

    ARSENAL: ADEBAYOR and lol hleb.

  5. GO says:

    Adebayor. and let's get something straight: there's only one FERNANDO TORRES in this whole wide world!!! and this AIN'T the one!

  6. JB says:

    I was distracted by Iker's presence in the one picture! ;)

  7. gearboxvideos says:

    …your not old enough to MISS in the 70ties! However, you are young enough to wish you lived in the 70ties. haha.

  8. rearnakedchoke says:

    Oooooh my !

  9. Becca says:

    Fernando Llorente Torres!!
    Must Be Something About The Name..

  10. SuZi ?????? says:

    The pink shirts do it for me :P

  11. CrazyOrange says:


  12. Gina Villamelon says:

    Oooh, I see Alexis and his tattoos :D *takes a moment to stare* Ok, this was a toughie, but my vote goes to Llorente.

  13. QUE VIVA ESPANA says:

    Fernando Llorente Torres.

  14. Marciano says:

    never seen or heard about them.

  15. Dreamgirl says:

    Yep, it’s all in the first picture. Can I have this face instead of Cesc’s, please?

    llorente for good use of thighs

  16. ?? SuZi ?? says:

    The pink shirts do it for me :P

  17. Steroids says:

    Thanks for sharing these info with us!
    I will keep in touch with your blog reading…

  18. Erinti says:

    Er, what happened to all the carping about how ugly Ade (or at least his hair) is? What, have we seen the light now? Anyway, I tend to like slimmer, sleeker thighs than most of the readers here, so I’ll have to vote for Torres, but I’d like to note for the record that it pains me to vote against Ade in something appearance-related.

  19. coco says:

    Ahhh. finally an outlet for my (secret) adebayor crush… ADE ADE ADE.

  20. mrs torres-juwle says:

    is everyone with the name fernando torres tall, handsome and ave really sexy legs??!
    if he moved to iverpool, not only would it be confusing, but we would never concntrate.
    in my dreams… 2 fernando torres’s upfront!!!

  21. lindsaytorres says:

    this was a a hard oe but on thighs alone im gonna have to say adebayor, fernando llorente is pretty hot though…

  22. Jennay™ (The D says:

    Now thats something i can beat off to!

  23. goalkeeperette says:

    Definitely Ade! And this Llorente guy isn't hot AT ALL! O__O

  24. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    lol JB, I too was distracted by Iker in that one picture. Gonna have to be the spaniard… Llorente

  25. aristeia says:

    OH YESSSS. Llorente… no doubt.

  26. Nina (Mrs Gerrard) says:

    I have to go with Llorente

  27. Zatil says:

    Llorente should win this.

  28. Paris says:

    I completley agree with GO nobody compares to Torres. Adebayor

  29. Victoria says:


  30. carly says:

    I'll give Adebayor the prize for best usage of the english language and this time I'll give Llorente the thigh vote. I should say that these are very distinct thighs,of different genres, and it's real hard to pick.

  31. dkcx3cesc says:


  32. carly says:

    I'll give Adebayor the prize for best usage of the english language and this time I'll give Llorente the thigh vote. I should say that these are very distinct thighs,of different genres, and it's real hard to pick.

  33. TammyV says:

    Adebayor on the thighs alone

  34. Ehssty? says:

    At last someone recognized how young I am.

  35. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Based completely on thighs, Emmanuel Adeby… eff the spelling. Manny. I pick him. Good enough. For looks though… I pick Llorente. The six-foot-five thing forced me into saving that pic.

  36. Dinah says:

    Llorente for me.

  37. Dani.Mrs José Manuel Reina (PLQ) says:

    oh yummmmmmmmmmmm has to be Llorente though…. first pic wins hands down and he shares his name with another sexy striker !

  38. SpaceCowgirl says:

    Yes! I totally saw Iker adjusting himself during the game, and momentarily died because of it! I was getting all excited about it in the Real Madrid post. He was probably just checking it was still there and hadn’t disappeared in the cold cold weather! If he ever needs a second opinion….

  39. SemiCharmed says:

    My vote goes to Llorente, But I would still like to know why his pics look like they were taken in the 80s?

  40. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Llorente please… but Emmanuel is still pretty impressive.

  41. FirstTeamCoach says:

    Agreed, first pic won it for me – Llorente

  42. Mar102082 says:

    llorente…. the first pic wins it all..

  43. Innocenza says:


  44. DC says:


    uh…i mean….this is a close one (kind of) but im going to say Llorente.

  45. cassey says:

    woot…i gotta say they were hot hot hot

  46. TammyV says:

    Adebayor on the thighs alone

  47. Ehssty? says:

    At last someone recognized how young I am.

  48. cassey says:

    woot…i gotta say they were hot hot hot