May 15th, 2009

The TTO: Matthew Upson v Lucas Neill


Welcome to another Thursday Thigh Off.

On a day that isn’t Thursday.

Perhaps the time may have come for us to take on a thigh-specific expert willing to work tirelessly into the night uploading photos of quadriceps to our server without a single cocktail break. But that’s probably illegal under the employment act.

Anyhoo, let’s enjoy our pre-weekend West Ham competition between Matthew Upson and Lucas Neill.

Matthew Upson
30 years old. 6’1”. Central defender and England NT player.

Matthew’s the type to hover just slightly under your radar, slow burning, training in secret behind closed doors, waiting for his perfect moment to show you what you’ve been missing. We all know when that very moment came. Whether or not Mr. Upson has jumped the shark and can climb no further in our estimations remains to be seen. But he’s putting in a very good effort with these legs.


Lucas Neill
31 years old. Also 6’1. Defender. Captain of the Australian NT.

Mr. Neill tends to bring out a love/hate reaction in many. He’s quite firey and oftentimes you’ll find him in a pushy shovey aggro situ. Let’s face facts: Lucas is a sexy beast. He also has a soul patch. Tricky.  But this is about the thighs, so take your time and consider what he has to offer you.


Who gets your vote this week, Kickettes?

Congrats to last week’s winner by a country mile – Marco Cassetti, who took the lush Philippe Mexes to school. Last we heard, Mexes was drowning his sorrows by shopping for more stone-washed denim and a Bedazzler.

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34 Responses to “The TTO: Matthew Upson v Lucas Neill”

  1. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbeloa) says:

    Lucas Neill…yummers :)

  2. i_luv_futbol_booty says:

    Upson definitely takes this one……his thighs are lovely and toned. Neill is still pretty deloosh though. This one really made me think haha

  3. Callie says:


  4. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Lucas Neill for me please.

  5. blue_skyz says:

    Lucas got my vote – oi oi oi! There’s too much goodness happening in that first pic of his. But here are some more pics to sway your votes – boo to evil layers tho:

    Photobucket Photobucket

  6. Eternal Dreamer says:

    While Neill is hotter, I have to vote based on thighs alone – Upson.

  7. Lola says:

    hmmm… Upson I think. I seem to be just voting for the most naked one in recent TTO’s but *shrugs* I feel nudity ought to be encouraged.

    A thigh-specific expert willing to work tirelessly into the night… would that involve careful sourcing and examining of photographic evidence of thighaliciousness? Because if it does you might find a few people willing to do that; even without cocktail breaks.

  8. carly says:

    I confess, I'm going for the overall and not just the thighs and it has to be Lucas Neill.

  9. carly says:

    I confess, I’m going for the overall and not just the thighs and it has to be Lucas Neill.

  10. BS_guapa_grl6 says:

    I go for Neill!!!

  11. Lolinha says:

    Upson for me, the strip tease definately did it, but the thighs do look better. Hate Neill’s facial hair, ugh soulpatches!

  12. striker says:

    This is so tough! The one of Upson sitting on the pitch, looking like a puppy dog, does things to me. But I love Neill’s fiery attitude. But this is about thighs, so I’m going with Upson. Plus the strip tease this weekend was an excellent bonus.

  13. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Lucas Neill for me please.

  14. Sarah says:

    Lucas Neill on the strength of that first picture alone.

  15. Jo says:

    As a whole, I’d fancy Neill over Upson.  The rain shot…yeah.

    However, in the Thigh-Off, Upson gets my vote.

  16. Christina V says:

    Well that

  17. hayley says:

    why is this even up for discussion? Lucas Neill wins hands down

  18. RedHeart says:

    Upson. The shots over the weekend may have swayed me a tiny amount…

  19. Barcelinha says:

    oh Lucas, i love thee.

  20. HiL says:

    Upson! I am too a little bribed since the nakedness, but still he takes Neill.

  21. chelseagal_joeycoles says:

    lucas lucas lucas :) sorry matt… if it was any other hammer you'd get my vote

  22. Blondie says:

    Lucas Neill =)

  23. Dreamgirl says:

    Upson – I fully agree with everything Erin said.

  24. aristeia says:

    Matthew! Love those thighs, oh yeah. Poor bb Mexes. I will be comforting him in his epic loss, no worries. ; )

  25. Becca says:

    Lucas Neill For Me Too!!

  26. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    But who won between Canna and The Ramos?

  27. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Lucas Neill. Deffo.

  28. Erin says:

    I'm loving Upson after last weekend's strip tease. I know this is thighs, but thighs are attached to ass, right? And his ass was near perfection. The thighs are lovely too. Quite a bod! Also I could never vote for Lucas Neill for anything…can't stand that man.

  29. chrissy says:

    without a doubt…LUCAS NEILL. even if i weren’t an aussie i would still pick him, no questions.

  30. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    I’m Australian so by national duty I have to vote for Lucas (even though he’s nowhere near as hot as he used to be)…

  31. FirstTeamCoach says:

    This is really tough because I have never really paid that much attention to either of them, but going by thighs (and ass) alone I have to go with……… Upson, although for the overall package I prefer (slightly) Lucas if he got rid of the patch.

  32. boo says:

    i always thought there’s something about mr Neill, still don’t know what, but i likey. a lot!

  33. Boston Red says:

    This is a tough call. They’re both well fit. My vote goes to Matthew Upson because he showed us his bum and because it appears as though Lucas likes base layers. Base layers = not OK.

  34. Avenath says:

    Since i can’t vote for Upson’s fine ass, i shall vote for Lucas Neill…