May 7th, 2009
The TTO: Philippe Mexes v Marco Cassetti
We’re late. We’re sorry. We’ll keep this short and sweet and let the thighs do the talking, yes?
Get your passports ready, we’re off to Roma!
French. A master in the fine art of the ponytail. Stands at just over 6’1”. Many tattoos. From time to time he enjoys taking his chest out for a spin. His perfect cuddle spot looks to be just between neck and shoulder. Oh, if only we could be sure.
Italian. Excellent facial hair. As well as being the same height as Philippe, Marco has body ink in common with his team mate. He doesn’t dabble in fine hair art, but Mr. C still isn’t afraid to explore his softer side. And when it comes to ensuring his thighs have all the fresh air they need to thrive, he has been known to disrobe on the pitch in full view of the cameras. Indeed, he keeps hope and dreams alive.
Last week’s TTO between Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard caused many of our readers to curse, cry and beg for alternative options. Some had nervous breakdowns. Others lost the ability to string a sentence together. It was a true war of muscle tone, freckles and Scouse accents. After the smoke had cleared, the hamstrings at the top of the pile belonged to Fernando. Congratulations, Mr. Torres. Stevie, off you go for a runner-up rub down. Thx Liz!