June 22nd, 2011
Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade: On A Mission
Mel adjusts her GPS tracker while Theo studies the instruction manual for his mobile communicator headgear. We’re not optimistic as to the success of this mission, if we’re being honest.
Despite articulating our views on the Cesc Fabregas vacay situation a couple of days ago, we still don’t feel that we have the kind of closure we need to allow us to rest easy in our beds. The sight of one of our men wandering poolside in a befuddled manner with an unidentifiable female companion troubles us deeply.
Hence why, at great personal cost to ourselves, we’ve dispatched two of our best operatives to comb the beach bars and swimming pools of Nice, France, to gather information and sightings of the ‘couple’. Carefully made up to resemble a typical footballer and his partner on holiday, Theo Walcott and Melanie Slade will be remaining incognito on their loungers for the foreseeable future, advising Kickette of any breaking news via a special video link system concealed in Theo’s hat.
Do not approach them. They’re working, goddamn it!
He is such a cutie to me— I would lick his feet!
I must say, I'm not a fan of the bikini bottom turned into a thong……
Lol! My thoughts exactly…
How come theres no love for black girls amongst ballers? Not saying that Theo should or shouldn't, simply wondering aloud…..
Btw, Melanie's ass is pretty much amazing.
oooh gurl, you opened a huge can of worms with that one!
that is one debate that could go on for a HOURS!
Im going to be completely honest here. I am a black girl, who LOVES SOCCER. When it comes to labeling myself i do not want to associate with african-americans, even though i was born in america. INSTEAD i give the whole laundry list of my ancestors which includes an african with a bit of belgian mother and caribbean father with south american and english roots. Many black girls (that I know) have the whole "ghetto fabulous" thing going for them, NOBODY WANTS TO DATE THAT. except for ghetto fabulous males. White boys dont know what to do about me, so i mostly date spanish guys with the occasional nice black guy here and there =(. I told my mom that im moving to brazil and living with my stepsister until conditions improve as soon as i finish university. Wish me luck =P
i don't really like Melanie, she seems very conceited in a way.
like you know when someone is perfectly nice,
but you can still kind of tell they probably think their sh*t don't stink?
i dunno i'm kind of rambling here lol…anyways, i respect the fact that
these two have been together for so long
but i wouldn't be surprised if they went their when they get older
like Carla and Cesc.
She kind of has that "cat that caught the canary" look sometimes. I havn't heard much about her. I just hope that some of these young girls try to do something to benefit themselves if it doesn't work out. I do give her a little credit for not having kids with him so far.
The wedgie is so disturbing.
Her bum is incredible
I don't really like her very much (if you're going to insist on the "I'm just a normal girl!" image, posing for lad's mags isn't really the way to go about doing it), but man, her body is bangin'. She's not scary-thin, just healthy and fit.
maybe if we could see Theo’s face i wouldn’t be so distracted by his girl’s amazing ass.
OT, but do people have something against pulling their wedgies? That chick cesc was with had the same issue. I personally find it uncomfortable to have fabric in my butt and I'd be afraid of other people seeing it, let alone cameras. Just saying….
I was thinking the same! LOL! I can't stand it. I tried thongs once and I ended up leaving work to buy undies at walmart. Obviously it doesn't bother some people.
thongs take some getting used to, but after a while you honestly will not feel them! it's worth it if you like wearing form-fitting clothes, i'll tell you that much!
More likely…. she's tanning and therefore the wedgie is of the on-purpose kind
It looks like she was putting sunscreen on- http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/biza… (2nd pic) I do agree that it looks really uncomfortable though, and not something I would probably do in public
Theo's hat. HIS HAT.
gwannnnn theo badman brap brap brap
i don't know who that woman is… but I seriously envy her ass.
i agree, THAT is a nice ass! it makes me wonder why people were freaking out about Pippa Middleton's average behind.
Pippa is average but this one is awfully non-existent.
is it hot where you live? because you must be delirious saying Melanie has a pancake ass and not Pippa lol
I dont rate either of them tbh.
She's flat as a pancake. :/
If she hung around my male friends she'd be laughed out of town. God, Im glad I dont have a flat non-existent ass.
check out the picture of her in the blue bikini: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/biza…
i don't know what kind of picky-ass male friends YOU have, but i can confidently say that most men i've encountered would love to tear that up.
It is pretty flat. :/
All I see is a skinny blonde girl with no ass.
hun, i'm brazilian… I know about ass. That's a good one.
oh, and big doesn't always mean good.