January 8th, 2008

One Liners & Lazy Links

imageFrom the hell no files: Coleen McLoughlin is buying a £4k flotation tank. Also, Wayne gave her an £80,000 Range Rover for Christmas. Oh, wait, and apparently Ms McL was the highest earning WAG of 2007 – netting £15 million. In your face, peasants!

Not to be outdone, Brooklyn Beckham – who is 8 years old – got an iPhone for Christmas.

Charlotte Meares is getting one back on Danielle Lloyd, via the cult of Facebook.

Speaking of Ms Lloyd, she’s still loved up and rolling in the cash prizes from Jermain Defoe, like a £20,000 watch. Skanking it up really does pay dividends.

Steven Gerrard is stepping up security for his home after last year’s robbery. A crew of hard-ass former SAS soldiers will be guarding his family’s house from now on.

imageLatest in the Cristiano line of rumoured gal-pals/girlfriends/gold-diggers: 19 year old Carolina Patrocinio. The Portuguese media is reporting that her and Cristiano are now an item. Really? It’s over between him and whats-her-name?

Definitely one for the WTF files: David Beckham’s recent quote about his trust levels with his friends, one of them being his best mate, Gary Neville. ‘They are the three [mates] that I would trust with my wife naked,’ said the LA Galaxy star. ‘That’s how good they are as friends.’

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25 Responses to “One Liners & Lazy Links”

  1. nail polish says:

    They are spending big bucks on clothes…

  2. Rihanna says:

    Nice to see those pics in kickette.
    feel free to checkout my website..
    i too want to share my pics with you <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />
    regards,
    Rihanna

  3. If I was Cristiano’s mum, I would definitely use pencil when adding the girlfriend’s name and number to my address book.

  4. Range Rover says:

    Wow..I guess some people have it real lucky..!

  5. freddiegirl says:

    I am on Facebook so according to the link about the Mears/Lloyd situation I actually do exist….:L:L

    Pretty funny.

  6. aja says:

    is coleen wearing a trash bag for a shirt in this picture?

  7. Malin says:

    This made my day actually. But what made my day even MORE, was TFO’s comment about Cristianos mum…

  8. Robin says:

    Becca – I can’t stand either one of them! Mears bragging about her ridiculous kitchen (hundreds of thousands of pounds) and then saying ‘too bad I don’t cook’. She was just a fame and money hungry wannabe. I think she got way too big for her britches and stopped focusing on Jermaine (who was footing the bills).
    Plus I bet she didn’t do retirement plans either. I’m on a roll today about planning for the future (like what is Miss Mears going to do now that the fame is gone? Does she have a skill set?)

  9. Becca x says:

    About THe Danielle Lloyd Situ.
    I Think She Deserves It. I Heard Her on tHe Radio The Other day SAying How Her And Jermaine Have Been Friends For a Long Time And Part of Her Answer To The Question ‘Do You Go out And Look Specifically For Footballers?‘ Was ‘I Have Been Out With Normal People Before’ [Meaning Non Footballers..]
    What Does that Tell You?
    I Much Prefer Charlotte Meares Anyways.

  10. brandy says:

    Oh so many comments to make…!

    What’s a flotation tank?! What is it for? How on earth did she earn more money than any other WAG?! I am confused/don’t understand!

    Thank goodness my Cristiano has found someone sexier than that pop virgin! I was worried. I need him to stay sexy, and there is no better way than having sexy women around you!

  11. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Oooooh look they changed the spelling *glows with pride*

    Can I have a job now?????

  12. Johnna says:

    *sigh* Gaz and Becks. Miss them playing together.

    Also, I can just see what Alex’s reaction to the SAS-men is. Priceless.

  13. kickette says:

    not at all, MXA, our bad and duly noted.
    x

  14. The Fourth Official says:

    Robin, I shuddered when I read in Wayne’s book (yes, I actually read it and yes, it’s sad that in my leisure time, I read crappy ghost-written footballer autobiographies) that he sits in meetings with his financial advisors and “tries to understand” but basically gives them carte blanche.  What a recipe for disaster.

  15. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Ohh I do love that saying, not heard that one before.  It made me giggle and describes Old Golden Balls all too well.

    And sorry to be a picky cow Kickette but you keep spelling Gerrard’s name wrong, he a Steven with a V not PH. Was just bugging me.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/tongue_rolleye.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue rolleye" style="border:0;" />

  16. Robin says:

    I wonder if the Rooneys are saving anything for when Wayne no longer plays footie and Colleen is no longer the flavor du jour. I mean these people seem to spend a gajillion dollars without any thought to the future. Do they have IRA’s? 401k’s? Someone to advise them that they may not always be in the situation they’re in and then what? I don’t see Wayne being a commentator on Setanta. You should always save for the future. *Gets off soapbox now*

  17. The Fourth Official says:

    You know, sometimes David seems to be a few sprinkles short of a sundae.  Has he ever actually *looked* at Gary Neville?

  18. Emma says:

    No fair! I didn’t get an iPhone. :(

  19. cheryl bites says:

    Brandy: a flotation tank is a metal pod in which you float in salt water in complete darkness while listening to soothing whale music. Supposed to help you relax. Obviously, you would need (a) a lot of money to buy and install it and (b) a big house to fit it into, which is why it’s right up Coleen’s alley.

    Personally, I shall associate them forever with Edina in Absolutely Fabulous.

  20. tammyv says:

    This is one of the best randum links days ever!  I love every story, it is all so goofy.  BTW, we need more The G’Nev stories.. I love that crazy little freak

  21. Elise says:

    There is a whole lotta funny on this page! I’m seriously crying with laughter from reading the posts.  Well, that and having pictured Posh naked.  I think David’s comments serve as a good example of why you want to have a prepared speech for events such as these, and stick to it!

    I didn’t think you were serious about Stevie hiring an SAS squad, but I clicked over and read the article.  It said his kids *were* at home with Alex that night, so I’m sure it scared him enough to take drastic measures.  I’d rather think about him spending his cash on big burly killer type guys than on, oh, say, a personal flotation tank.

  22. The Fourth Official says:

    If I was Cristiano’s mum, I would definitely use pencil when adding the girlfriend’s name and number to my address book.

  23. J says:

    It’s over between Luciana and Cristiano? Didn’t Ronaldo’s mum say something like she’d be the perfect daughter-in-law?
    Oh well.
    If I had facebook, I would be able to see the page for the group who hate Danielle Lloyd. The pic on the link- ah the miracles of Photoshop.
    And the Beckhams? 1.) David…was Posh pleased you said you wouldn’t mind if she was nake and in the same room as Gary Neville? 2.) Brooklyn- you’re 8. I didn’t get a phone till I started high school. Even then, it was only for ‘emergencies’.

  24. Sarah x says:

    TFO, I Brought Wayne Rooneys Book The Other Day, Thought It Might Be Good Lol But Obviusly Not <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />
    I Dont Think Theres Anything Between C-Ron and Tht Girl, Well I Hope Not!
    and I Think I Prefer Charlotte Lol

  25. carly says:

    I’m not sure there was ever anything at all between C-Ron and what’s-her-name. He seems to be no.1 for ghost romances.
    Also not sure about this new love interest – I can’t be bothered to read the portuguese tabloid press. :(