November 19th, 2007

Three Wags, Many Players: A Study in Skankocity

With the tabloid news breaking over the weekend that Danielle Lloyd is now dating Jermain Defoe, we felt inspired to create a six degrees of skankocity chart to keep track of the off pitch action of some of the more ‘active’ players and playettes.

image

Let’s go through the DNA-swapping background:

1. Danielle Lloyd has been spotted making herself at home with Jermain at the Tottenham players lounge. She’s also been hanging out at his £3 million home – the one he used to share with fiancée, Charlotte Mears.

2. Charlotte was one of the esteemed group featured on the WAGs Boutique, and has written tips on WAG travel for the Home Office. She and Jermaine got engaged in February and rumours started flying about Jermain being unfaithful back in July; the pair split up a few weeks ago.

3. Before hooking up with Jermain, Danielle was seen table dancing and flirting with Jermaine Pennant and Jerome Thomas at a nightclub in London. She then was the recipient of a mini beat down by a random blonde who didn’t like the behaviour.

4. Danielle’s long journey into baller beds began with the geriatric playboy Teddy Sheringham, who she started dating during her brief stint as Miss Great Britain. Shortly afterwards, she ran her rather bigoted mouth on national television, lost her title and broke up with Teddy about 80 million times in a four month period.

5. During one of the Teddy break up periods, Danielle was out clubbing and began snogging the pants off of Marcus Bent as a ploy to make Teddy jealous. Teddy left the club with several dozen women completely unphased. But, a new relationship was born and many a paparazzi photo of Danielle and Marcus on vacation was snapped/mocked/etc.

6. Marcus is currently dating Gemma Atkinson, whom he dated briefly a few years ago when he left his long term baby mama for Gemma.

7. Gemma used to date Cristiano Ronaldo, but the whole prostitute pool party situ put a damper on things.

8. Gemma was rumoured to have had a dalliance with C-Ron’s team mate, Alan Smith – who has a girlfriend.

There you have it, Kickettes. It ain’t pretty, but remember: the road to bagging a baller is an arduous and hooch-filled one at times. Keep your eye on the prize, take your vitamins and persevere.

Cheers Becca for the tip off

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25 Responses to “Three Wags, Many Players: A Study in Skankocity”

  1. yepi says:

    thanks very muck
    y5 | y4 | y11 | y13

  2. ngockonvang says:

    charlotte is just as bad she has been with more ballers than just jermaine. Friv 2

  3. hary says:

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  4. Ok, so that’s a very rough and complicated situation! What’s too much ain’t good you know..

  5. low pain says:

    Hi. Good blog! <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/grin.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="grin" style="border:0;" />

  6. AnnaDa says:

    all i can say is:

    WE NEED MORE ON ALAN SMITH!!!!

  7. Katie says:

    oohhh really??? what footballers?

  8. anon says:

    charlotte is just as bad she has been with more ballers than just jermaine.

  9. Rusty says:

    Is my headache from this flowchart or for other reasons?

  10. brandy says:

    Take your vitamins, yes, but apparently you need to take your faux birth control pills (in your Pay Day’s, oops! I mean Baller of choice’s view) too!

    Hey, it worked for Alex and Elen and a gaggle of others! wink

  11. The Fourth Official says:

    A Freudian therapist would say that men who enjoy sharing the same woman are exhibiting homoerotic tendencies:  subconsciously desiring sex with each other.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/hmm.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="hmmm" style="border:0;" />

  12. Robin says:

    I wonder if, when the lights are off, will they even remember which girl they’re with?

  13. carly says:

    Oof, I’m a little tired now.
    These people are ridiculous.

  14. SuzyQ says:

    Meep.. i feel sorry for poor Charlotte who has to be lumped in with that group of saliva passers…. dont’ the men start to wise up after a girl has dated 3 of them? do they not see a pattern devleoping???  gross.

  15. tammyv says:

    Wow…do they play pass the penicillium too?

  16. cheryl bites says:

    It’s a male bonding thing, Sammy…

  17. Sammy says:

    In fairness to Charlotte Mears she has only been with jermaine, its the Danielle and Gemma and the guysthat are doing this! i Dont understand why the guys would want to all go out with the same girls?????? please explain to me!

  18. Ella says:

    I can’t remeber who, but earlier someone put it this way :

    At least they’re keeping the diseases in the circle, and avoid spreading them to society at large.

    Oh what a genious (and mostly fitting) comment.

  19. The Fourth Official says:

    I just hope that they are all practising safe sex. gulp

  20. Elise says:

    To the Fourth Official- this idea was the basis of an erotic novel I read a while back.  I was so completely fascinated by the pyschology of it that I did some real research and can agree with what you said.  We know football has some very homoerotic elements…and thank God for that! lol I mean, what would I do without all that John/Frank slash fiction?! (Probably should analise myself then, right?! lol)

  21. Amy says:

    as if its even true about jermaine and danielle! some people will sell anything for money, i feel sorry for her!

  22. Anja says:

    Wooow… I think I’d be totally satisfied with just one of them… <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

  23. michelle says:

    woot woot! first comment, here I come.

    I didn’t realize what a tough task it is to be a WAG.  Sheesh, now that you put it in words, I don’t think I’m up to the task. 

    Oh well, I can handle admiring from afar.

  24. Sarah x says:

    I Prefer Charlotte to Danielle
    Jermaine Is Being A D**k Czo We All Know Danielle Will Get bored Of Him Soon And He’ll Be Left All On His Own And Charlotte Will Have Some Lovely Man On Her Arm smile

  25. hottie says:

    dannie is a right easy tart that picture proves it