April 30th, 2009
The TTO: Steven Gerrard v Fernando Torres
We know there are other players at Liverpool FC. We know they have worthy thighs, many of which we’ve admired in the past. But we couldn’t help ourselves. Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres are just too thigh-gifted not to put up in competition against each other. We feel no shame in making this call.
Let’s get to judging.
Midfielder. He’s 28-years-old, 6’0” tall, and his groin has returned to match fitness, though it may be in need of the odd bit of massaging to keep it… match fit ready. We recommend voting for Stevie G if you like your muscle with a light dusting of fur, your accents Scousetastic and you have a soft spot for men that look damn sexy with their kids.
Striker. 25-years-old. 6’1” tall. We sadly have little information on the state of his groin. However, we do know about Nando’s thighs: they’ve got freckles. Make Fernando your choice if you like your quads fairly hair-free, your accents impossible to understand and you have a soft spot for men that will soon be looking damn sexy with their kids.