April 30th, 2009

The TTO: Steven Gerrard v Fernando Torres


We know there are other players at Liverpool FC. We know they have worthy thighs, many of which we’ve admired in the past. But we couldn’t help ourselves. Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres are just too thigh-gifted not to put up in competition against each other.  We feel no shame in making this call.

Let’s get to judging.

Steven Gerrard
Midfielder. He’s 28-years-old, 6’0” tall, and his groin has returned to match fitness, though it may be in need of the odd bit of massaging to keep it… match fit ready.  We recommend voting for Stevie G if you like your muscle with a light dusting of fur, your accents Scousetastic and you have a soft spot for men that look damn sexy with their kids.


Fernando Torres
Striker. 25-years-old. 6’1” tall. We sadly have little information on the state of his groin. However, we do know about Nando’s thighs: they’ve got freckles. Make Fernando your choice if you like your quads fairly hair-free, your accents impossible to understand and you have a soft spot for men that will soon be looking damn sexy with their kids.


We’re holding off announcing a winner in last week’s epic battle between Sergio Ramos and Fabio Cannavaro until we’ve gotten the bug with our comments sorted out.  Next week, Roma!

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105 Responses to “The TTO: Steven Gerrard v Fernando Torres”

  1. Jen says:

    Stevie, since Fernando broke our collective hearts last Jan. transfer window. But both are DAMN sexy and I love Stevie!!!

  2. erinlfc says:

    Oof this is so hard to choose, these are my 2 fave footballers but its got to be gerrard

  3. Torillas says:

    Holy … It's impossible to choose. They're both so yum! I'm gonna go with Stevie, I think. Or Nando? IHJ! I absolutely LOVE the bum photo of Stevie, but what about Nandos freckles? Oh god, Kickette? How can you do this to me. I'm in two halfs. I simply can't choose now <img src="http://staticll.fluxstatic.com/-/Clients/Common/Img/RTE/smiley/alpha/depressed.gif&quot; alt="depressed" title="depressed" width="16" height="16"> Maybe I'll come back later, when I've made up my mind, lol.

  4. Ali says:

    Nando for the freckles

  5. Louise says:

    I like thighs manly, so I have to go with Stevie.

  6. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbe says:

    Nando…but this is a bloody hard one to call.

  7. Nina (Mrs Gerrard) says:

    oooooh lovely pics. Of both of them. I love Nando, I really do, but I can't look past Stevie. Such yummy, irresistible thighs with bonus bum shot. You really know how make my day Kickette,thumbs up :)

  8. striker says:

    Damn, this is such a tough decision! I think I'm going with Nando on this one. Sorry Stevie!

  9. anela says:

    My choice…Fernando Torres!!!

  10. Sabia1609 says:

    Torres all the way!

  11. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Kickette, how could you do this to us??!! It's so hard to choose…. I actually have just spent about two minutes writing one name then deleting it and writing the other… can we please declare this one a tie? Please???

  12. Camille says:

    Oooohh, Stevie. I like his leg hair! (High fives, Kathy)

  13. Mrs Fernando Torres says:

    my name is mrs fernando torres but honest, i really cant choose i really LOVE them both but i think ill go with……………………..god i dont know! can you vote for both? i really want to! i love them in differant ways! GOD THIS IS JUST TO CRUEL! KICKETTE YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME!

  14. La WAG de Spanish Team says:

    WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME KICKETTE YOU WANT TO KILL ME?!?!??!?!!??!!? have to go with stevie though. *gulp*

  15. allison says:


  16. torres4ever says:

    Nando all the way!!!

  17. olivia says:


  18. PersephoneDisco says:

    Always Stevie G. Don't get Nando's hotness at all!

  19. lemonstarbursts says:

    *sigh* Helle makes a good point. The pepsi ad definitely does it. Nando.

  20. WeeRed says:

    That’s just cruel! What on earth did we do to deserve such torment? :P I’m finding it so hard to choose!!!!……………………………… Fernando. So mean to make me choose!

  21. imhereforthenando says:

    Fernando! My God, Fernando.

  22. one_love=cesc_fabregas says:

    i’m raising two hands for nando.. count em’ both… =D

  23. Buena says:

    Ooooh…this is difficult. *continuously compares the thighs* Ahh, this is so hard to decide, i shall flip a coin… and I'm going with Stevie!

  24. fcbfan says:

    Love you Stevie G, but I gotta go with the hair-free thighs of the amazing Nando.

  25. jt_crazy says:

    Gerrard 100%

  26. zo-t says:

    i love Gerrard too, but definitely Freckle-boy for me… Nando you are the king of the TTO… and yes, the accent is to die for….

  27. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Going for Steven Gerrard here.

  28. Erin says:

    Oh, man. Talk about Sophie's Choice! lol But really, this wasn't much of a contest for me. I love Nando to bits and I think his thighs are epic, but I think my profile pic speaks for itself….Stevie is my first love and has THE best legs in the business. STEVIE GERRARD always gets my vote! :)

  29. Sarah says:

    Gerrard gets my vote.

  30. Megaann...=] says:

    Nando All The Way!

    Stevie Just Doesn’t Have What Nando Does… =]


  31. mara says:

    Sure, Nando always and forever!!!

  32. lfc says:

    Yeah, it’s difficult but, hmm, gorgeous Nando of course xD

  33. debc says:

    I want those Torres’ thighs wrapped around me!

  34. Mika says:

    Torres. He looks so girly and delicate but his thighs are powerhouses. Damn.

  35. Rooz says:


  36. Naomi says:

    OMG! i could neva choose…they’re both freakin hot!!

  37. jonny leather says:

    torres.  hands down.  though, nice buns on stevie there!

  38. Katie says:

    Aaaagh, it’s like Sophie’s Choice! Why those two, Kickette?! After much deep soul-searching, I’m gonna have to go with Stevie… the accent just sways it for me.

  39. giggsy143 says:


  40. colchonera says:

    TORRES definately!

  41. lindsaytorres says:

    this is rediculous!.. stevie has nice thighs but NOTHING on this earth will ever compare to nandos amazing, rock hard thighs.

  42. Shay says:

    Torres of course. Gerrard looks like one of my little brothers dorky friends. Bleh!

  43. Corrine says:

    do you choose your favourite child?

  44. Raina says:


  45. emz and emz torres says:

    yes. i do… nando all the way!

  46. Nata_red says:

    Torres! pure sex, childish look with male rock thighs)) i will definetely fail to resist

  47. Sherry_T says:

    torres all the way!!!

  48. **GERRARD** says:

    its a hard one to call ,,there both SEXYY but ill go with gerrard :) 100%SEXXY

  49. lovesucker711 says:

    i dislike them both quite a bit, but Nando has a place in my heart being a spaniard and all. so i guess i'd go for him.

  50. Eternal Dreamer says:

    This is so hard! Since I don't find either of them very attractive, it'll be easy to base on thighs alone…Ok, based on the awkward vacay pic of Nando and the shameless bum shot – Gerrard. (Adorable picture with bubba didn't hurt though either!)

  51. Me says:

    This is not a serious question!! So simple! NANDO OFCOURSE !!!!!

  52. Lola says:

    You had to go for the obvious, and impossible, choice!!! IDK I love them both; they both have amazing thighs, they both have sexy accents, they are both adorable in every conceivable way and seem to be lovely human beings. But Stevie has graciously decided to shun underwear (8th photo), so I vote for him in the hope that it will encourage others to follow his admirable lead.

  53. Barcelinha says:

    it has to be Stevie!!! amazing man thighs :D

  54. Nandia Mrs.The Ramos says:

    I cant pick I just cant!!!Both both both both bothhhhhhhhh

  55. Kylah (twinyk) says:

    IDK, ahhh, who to choose, they are both thightastic. um um um *looks back and forth between the thighs* I'm going to have to say Nando, there is just something about his quads that one up Stevies.

  56. HiL says:

    I'm torn. this is tougher than ever! But i'll go with Gerrard.

  57. mrs carragher says:

    stevie all the way

  58. kenita says:

    this is evil!!!!!! i think i will go with stevie, but nando's tights look good too…aarrgghhh ok, stevie =)

  59. suzie says:

    nando for me but only just.

  60. mrscudicini says:

    ALL about the freckles….

  61. Mamichula says:

    Oh God, Fernando's third picture is like the biggest turn-off. But Steven Gerrard is a turn-off in general, so I pick Nando :)

  62. Dani.Mrs José says:

    Kill me why dont you kickette this is like having to choose between Chocolate and icecream (and chocolate ice cream doesnt count) !! Love both but can only have one !! Ok , ok im going to vote for Nando Sorry Stevie bb

  63. Moonie says:

    Got to be Stevie, his hairy thighs are making me feel quite faint!

  64. Blondie says:

    Torres for me =)

  65. xhanna08x says:

    OMG that bum shot of Stevie kills me. fucking gorgeous! I love Nando I really do, and his thighs, I have always said that but Stevie is just irresistable. I dunno… it SO hard to choose!!! :( lol

  66. autumnmaple101 says:

    I'm so torn between the two, but Nando for me.

  67. Becca says:

    Ahhh! This Is Too Hard! Erm I Think I Have To Go For Stevie!Ahh Sorry Nando :'( Kickette, You Could Of Made It A Bit Easier! Nandos Suncream :') Factor 50, Baby Faces! Lol Ah, I Feel Guilty, It Will Be You Next Time, I Promise!

  68. Innocenza says:

    Nando, King of Thighs. What a silly question.

  69. Gina Villamelon says:

    I would say I lost sleep over this decision, but it's not exactly like I've been getting much sleep lately anyway, so… Anyway, my vote goes to Stevie. Ignoring everything else (yes, even the bum shot) his thighs just do things to me that Nando's don't. It was a close call though, they're pretty evenly matched. *sigh* I feel bad now.

  70. Kathy says:

    Hands down, Stevie wins this. Its the hair that does it for me. *swoon*

  71. boo says:

    torres! unless stevie shaves his thighs (like that's gonna happen)

  72. Malin ("MrsFern says:

    Do you REALLY have to ask me about this? The pepsi pic does it. HEH-LOH Nando!

  73. Lucy says:

    Holy crap Kickette, what are you trying to do here? Kill off your readers? : ) I have had a thing for Steven Gerrard's legs for quite some time now and Nando can't just swoop in with his giant, smooth thighs of glory and take that away, so I'm voting for Stevie – but it was a close one!

  74. BS_guapa_grl6 says:

    my vote def has to go for Torres, how can he ever lose those freckles, his looks, and his sexy thighs makes him a WINNER in my book!!!

  75. Pavi (Mrs Metzelder) says:

    Stevie for me!

  76. Avenath says:

    This is wrong, Kickette…there is just no way i can choose…as i love them both…ok, it's Stevie :p

  77. justlikexabi says:

    stevie he's got the best legs

  78. Forever Torres says:

    Torres x Stevie not too bad though :)

  79. AKP says:

    Stevie. His thighs are delicious and manly. Torres…a bit too delicate for me

  80. Sarah Kate says:

    Both are so sexy, it’s hard to choose!

  81. Meer. says:

    Fernando has really boyish tighs, he needs to muscle them up a bit! But… I don’t like ‘em furry, so sorry Steven. Come back when you’ve had a waxLOL Torres, it’s yours. Take it away, baby.

  82. Mrs.De Rossi says:

    I love Nando and his many freckles but there is something about that Stevie thigh I like

  83. berbagirl says:

    these two are the reason I watch Liverpool play so it’s not fair having to choose between them.. but I have a thing for the Spanish accent, and the freckles of course, so I’ll go for Torres

  84. Rebecca says:

    Stevie for me! Torres’ legs are smoother than mine, and that’s freaking me out..

  85. chelseagal_joeycoleswife says:

    oh how could we possibly? oh my oh my. it pains me to choose. it really does. but if i have to…. stevie XD sorry nando loveyou x

  86. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:


  87. Candide says:

    well the blue swimsuit pic almost killed my Torres vote, but I guess I vote for him. more toned, less hairy. I’m still mad you made me choose b/w them Kickette!

  88. Helle (Footiegirl) says:

    Oh my….. My two favorites players against each other! This is not fair Ms Kickette! I will base my choice on only one pic – the Torres Pepsi ad. Those thighs cannot be beaten. So sorry Stevie! So my vote goes to Nando…

  89. kimmila_2000 says:

    nando. freckles= ummm

  90. livealittle says:

    this was evil Kickette. i am so torn. can i vote for both? that way my votes kinda x each other out. but i really can’t choose.

  91. trojanette21 says:


  92. 'TorresNubianQueen' says:

    MY boi TORRES of course….i love u Torresssssssss!!!! but can’t hate on gerrard’s thighs either delish

  93. aristeia says:

    I would do things to that freckled Spaniard that aren’t fit to print. And I find his entire body incredibly sexy, including his thighs.

    But this was no contest for me. Stevie’s legs are out of sight. I have been perving over his thighs for so many damn years. And what makes them even sexier? They have hair on them! *shivers w/ delight*

    Stevie Stevie Stevie.

  94. Zatil says:

    Nando all the way!!

  95. Paris says:

    I say we make this one a tie I’m virging on collapse trying to pick I just cant bring myself to do it!

  96. Pavi (Mrs Metzelder) says:

    Stevie for me!

  97. MrsXabiAlonso says:


  98. Boston Red says:


  99. temitooo says:

    Nando :P

  100. Malin ("MrsFernandoTorres", if I may) says:

    Do you REALLY have to ask me about this? The pepsi pic does it. HEH-LOH Nando!

  101. Lucy says:

    Holy crap Kickette, what are you trying to do here? Kill off your readers? : ) I have had a thing for Steven Gerrard’s legs for quite some time now and Nando can’t just swoop in with his giant, smooth thighs of glory and take that away, so I’m voting for Stevie – but it was a close one!

  102. MrsXabiAlonso says:


  103. Erin says:

    I must admit I’m surprised that people seem to be bothered by hairy legs. On men. Do you all know men in real life who wax their legs?? I sure don’t. too funny