October 7th, 2010

Tim Howard: Getting Durrrty (And Naked) For ESPN The Magazine

UPDATE: Those who are still conscious should follow this link and click through to image 4. That should finish you off!

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Last time we published a photo of Tim Howard from ESPN, our server collapsed. We are pleased to report that while our IT department has managed to withstand the addition of a small amount of mud and a snarly snarl, we have not.  

Unless you have the rest of the day to lie about on the couch perspiring, we would suggest you do not ‘zoom’.

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57 Responses to “Tim Howard: Getting Durrrty (And Naked) For ESPN The Magazine”

  1. rain says:

    he is absolutely stunning….i wish i were those goalie gloves XP

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  3. VS1986 says:

    I have to get ready for work in an hour and now I don't think I can after looking at T.Ho in this picture and in the link! Oh the things I would do if I were alone with him…lol. God Bless America!

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  6. Pam says:

    I would have loved Bocanegra to pose nekid! that be real HAWT!!

  7. D0li says:

    I wih he would remove those gloves…

  8. CRONlover says:

    he is so fugly. it's not even funny. it hurts to lokk at him that's how ugly he is. and. he's. American. the ONLY hot American is Bocanegra.

  9. Alone Gourcuff says:

    Will ESPN Magazine accepts suggestions, since in these conditions I would like Cristiano Ronaldo, Gourcuff Yoahnn, Fernando Torres, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard Pique etc. ……. If they accept hope it's soon I'm excited!

  10. Zinny says:

    It's not just a feeling anymore; I am now 110% certain that there is a Kickette on the ESPN magazine staff. Thank you, kind lady, wherever you are.

  11. Eiro I says:

    Ooooh wow… I don't think that I will ever be able to make fully formed sentences again…oh wow, especially after #4, oh wow

  12. aps says:

    I really envy Mrs. Howard.

  13. G-g-g-good g-g-g-g-god…

  14. RedAne says:

    Sweet Mother of the Holy Durrrty!!! U tryin' to kill us, Kickette? Or maybe have us lose our jobs? Just wonderin'…

  15. caitanya says:

    no sh*t! That's what i said out loud! woo hoo!

  16. JulieFromParis says:

    Damn, the guy likes to be naked, no?? not that im complaining though ;)

    • JULIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! HEEEEELLOOOOOO!! I'm lulu the other Sergio Ramos fan!! It's been ages since I came here to Kickette and I was always looking for ya :D
      And yeah, he loves being naked because I convinced him he needed to make people forget about Carlos-what's-his-face.. because… there has to be space for diversity, y'know.
      Follow me on Twitter, if you've got one!!! :)

      • JulieFromParis says:

        AHHHHHH MY FRIENDDDDDD!! so good to hear from U. Hope you're doing fine, I have a twitter account but hardly ever tweet. But i'll follow u anyway :)

        Im all for diversity by the way: "Sergio to the beach", "Shirtless Sergio", " Sergio on pitch", "Sergio off pitch", that's diversity as well, no?? ;) but agree 'bout the too-much-Boca-kills-Boca thing

  17. DutchGooner89 says:

    Sweet mother of jesus, this is why EVERTON r secretly my 2nd fav team i root 4 in the premier league….is there some rule where ballers have to meet a criteria where they are just smoking hawt! Esp overseas players i mean what else is there left to say but dayummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

  18. Now, THAT is "dirty sex". O_o

  19. ToffeeGirl17 says:

    You may! Well with a team made up of so many hotties, I am always going to forget one, especially since Rodwell has been injured and won't be back until November. :(

    The others I can oogle from afar until then :-)

  20. Lisa NYC says:

    This is disturbing..can't process! One of the reasons why I fell for the USMNT is that Timmy looks like my little brother. UGH! Must not think like that! He does not look like him at all! He's nothing like him. Okay, now I can look at the photos…Yum!

  21. ToffeeGirl17 says:

    MINE! *coughs* sorry, Everton boys have a tendency to do that to me. :) Oh ladies, I am such a lucky gal when I have Cahill, Arteta and Howard on the same team. It is official, footballers need to wear less clothes for the good of humanity. Maybe soccer should become nudist soccer -with a fig leaf XD- and then we can all stare in wonder at these gods!

    Timmy, keep catching those balls and being our great goalie.
    Love you!
    NSNO
    ToffeeGirl17

  22. littlegirl says:

    i'm again the only one to feel nothing…

  23. bri_saldana says:

    I need an ice bath now. Seriously…my blood has gone waaayyyy past it's boiling point!

  24. Taskeen says:

    err.. wha… umm… I have never truly appreciated Tim until now.

  25. Says_Who says:

    Well hot damn! Now that's a great way to brighten someone's day!

  26. Leya_S says:

    Safe to say that I'm gonna get fired today bc this has SERIOUSLY inhibited my ability to do anything but drool…

  27. howard schmoward says:

    Sigh. Does nothing for me. In fact I am enjoying the first photo on that link a lot more! That girl has an amazing body, good lord.

  28. hereforthenando says:

    Alright Tim, this is getting ridiculous. Who else is commissioning an artist right now to make a naked sculpture of T Ho? Just me, then?

  29. gin_in_teacups says:

    Luckily I don't have anything else planned for the rest of the day today.

    Recently I saw a guy who looked like Tim at the airport. He was shorter and definitely not so buff but otherwise very similar looking, right down to the sexy baldness. I may have walked behind him for a bit longer than was strictly necessary.

    • DeeRoma says:

      The verification process can be lengthy. I applaud your attention to detail.

    • hereforthenando says:

      I saw a Fernando Torres doppelganger once. Needless to say, I stared him down for so long that he became uncomfortable, and I had to remind myself that jumping strangers is illegal.

      • gin_in_teacups says:

        Haha! I wonder how I'd react if I ever saw a Sergio lookalike. Part of me thinks I'd never let him go, and part of me thinks that frankly, without the flamenco loving cracked out wardrobe Eurotrash-fabulousness of the real Sergio, I wouldn't be interested.

  30. DeeRoma says:

    I think senora ramos got it right…. Oh holy hell!!!!

    *grabs water bottle to stay hydrated*

  31. sarrible says:

    There's another photo inside the magazine…

  32. Caitlin says:

    Hmm, I realise I am in the minority here, but that picture doesn't do anything for me at all. Don't find him attractive one bit. Am I just weird, lol?

  33. senora ramos says:

    kickette, you are truely trying to kill me. that's all i can think when you put these glorious smoking hot pics of tim howard. just damn man!!!! i am soooooo jealous of your wife right now (well, that's an everyday thing). oh timmay, i don't know how i'll be able to function the rest of the day!!!

    • senora ramos says:

      HOLY HELL!!!! there are not enough warnings on earth for #4. i'm officially deceased now!

  34. SlyMysteron says:

    (How do you type stammering?) I’m I the only one who keeps getting drawn to that suggestive/strategically placed, white-bright-highlighted pinky finger…crap, I seriously forgot what I was going to type.

    You must click on that link! SPOILER, he makes a diving save. And other women ask me why I watch sports. God bless the beautiful game :)

  35. MadridistaJenn says:

    What's with the glove again, Howard?!? This is torture, Timmy, this is torture.

  36. CescMyLove says:

    OMG. That's all I can say. O.O

  37. heythereivannah says:

    God bless America.

    Admittedly, I'm a Bocamuffin girl through and through and Timmy usually doesn't light my fire. But he just seems so willing to take his clothes off for the camera that I can't help but be a little bit (okay, A LOT) turned on. Now I have something to think about in Art History. Tim Howard would put the Greek statues I'm studying right now to shame.

  38. Jackie says:

    Speechless…

  39. FTC says:

    I zoomed …. might take some time to recover !

  40. Lisa In NC says:

    Helloooo nurse!

  41. suzie says:

    WOW……..that's all I can manage right now!!!!

  42. BarceLisa says:

    oh. my. god. I know I don't say this enough but… football, I love you.