December 21st, 2007
Top 5 WAG Fashion Disasters of 2007
As we look back on 2007 with fond champagne-soaked memories of sneaking into player’s lounges with hidden cameras inside our push-up bras, stalking the Beckhams over several continents and shopping until our stilettos turned to dust, we are 1. in need of a detoxifying vacay, and 2. ready to address our favourite fashion road kill moments of the year.
With so many to choose from, this was not an easy task, but it’s important to give back to the ladies who inspire us daily to do better, shop better, be better… consumers.
Below, our top five WAG fashion disasters of the year.
5. Call us old-fashioned, but we prefer that people remember the bottom halves of their outfits when leaving the house. For this reason alone, Victoria Beckham’s choice of attire for the Glamour awards is on the list.
Throw in fingerless motorcycle gloves and a teensy weensy pointless white tux shrug and we’re done.
Do not fall for the high fashion argument, Kickettes. Take a moment to imagine heading out the door to the red carpet wearing only a corset and a pair of ‘taupe’ tights.
Feel the breeze rattling around your nethers whilst walking to the stage to collect your award. Feel the anguish of your ancestors turning in their graves in shame.
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4. Coleen McLoughlin is the WAG for the people. The girl-next-door turned multi-gazzilionairess, whom we all adore.
And sometimes the pressure of being so bloody wealthy and having so many parties to attend and designer shoes to choose from can make you go a little doolally.
The first sign of crazy always is the hair.
Within 24 hours of debuting the bouffant- that- looks- like- crazy- on- a- dark- night, Coleen had intelligently washed, rinsed, repeated and blow dried back to standard.
But still.
—
3. It took us by surprise, it did. Toni Poole’s wedding dress was unlike nothing we had ever seen, nor imagined for the lovely now-Mrs. Terry.
But obviously, when one has suffered for their cash prize to the extent that Toni has, the choice to make a declaration of such decorative outrageousness has to be respected.
The dress inspired one of our favourite reader comments: “TONI. OMG. WHY are you wearing something that looks like it belongs in a woman’s uterus?“
After spending three times the national debt on your dress, is that the lingering memory you would want your wedding guests to have? Perhaps.
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2. Heading off to St. Tropez for a mini-break from your terribly taxing non-job?
Take your cue from Alex Curran-Gerrard and make sure you pack the following staple items:
St. Tropez fake bake to top up the real tan, lip gloss, your nail extension specialist and your chartreuse elasticated waist leisure suit for making many grannies by the pool seethe with jealousy.
Oh, how we wish that underneath those semi-flared trouser legs, Alex was sporting a lovely pair of flesh-coloured court shoes rather than sandals. Would have set this off to perfection.
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1. Of course, there can only be one winner – and indeed, there can only be one WAG at the top of the heap of designer cast-offs and outfits no other sane human with functioning eyes would wear:
Elen Rives, without you, there would be no joy in this world. Without you, there would be no way for us to know, without question, that wearing ruffled kneesocks is never an option we can pursue and still love ourselves in the morning.
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Agree? Disagree? Blinded by Alex’s jumpsuit? Fill us in.
I am an Elen Rives fun
Elen Rives just has no sense of fashion at all. You would think that she has at least one friend who is close enough to tell her the truth.
I dont actually think alex dressed up that bad
Elen Rives looks like one of my daughters dolls, just goes to show you cant buy class.
well…the pictures of the disastrous dresses are nothing else but purely funny. People ought to think before wearing just about anything. Thanks.
Gosh. Posh seriously needs a makeover!
God save Victoria and David. Posh gets worse by the day!
Collein for me..She stands out as an incredibly poor dressed women for me.
Victoria has to top the list for me. She gets worse and worse by the day
? i have to agree with this post on the worst but i think vicki could have gotten a higher spot on the list for forgetting her pants!
I can’t believe what you’re showing me. How could she get out in this clothes ? That’s completely insanity!
*Happy New Year Kickette! (And Everyone On This Website)
I Hope You Had A Really Nice Christmas =]
11 Days Without An Update!!
I Dont Know How I Have Survived.. I Really Dont!
Please Add Some New Entires!
I Miis It!
Happy Ne Year Eveyone! x
Hope You All Had A Good Time
Need Gossip
Love You All x
Happy 2008 Everyone.
Wish Kickette would come back to life, I need gossip and lots of it.
Heres to another year of laughing at the rich and famous and all their mistakes, and hopefully to more yummy pics like Becks Armarni add
kickette! i’m going insane. i’m on winter break in the states and i love this site and i haven’t seen an update for ten days! i need something! anyting really! but happy new year (=
a happy new year to you, kickette! do update soon, I miss your entries!
i feel sorry for frank, i really do, elen is just wierd. her eyes really scare me and that dress looks like it belongedn a farmhouse hundreds of years ago. and as for toni’s dress, i cant stand it (probably because i loathe and detest her) the bodice starts half way down her thigh and the skirt bit is just a mess!!!
Elen Eyes Scare Me Too.. I dont Know What It Is About Them. They’re Just So Scary And Big..
I think the thing about this Elen pic is also that it’s the only one I’ve seen of her where her face looks somewhat natural. As a matter of fact, I still can’t believe it’s the same vapid-looking, collagen implanted, bitchy expressioned woman I’ve seen in the other exposes.
I’m obviously in the minority here, but I just don’t find the Elen outfit that bad. Maybe it’s because I’m in San Francisco and there are goth/hipster fusion types I can see wearing those knee socks with some little dress from Haight street and pulling it off. I do agree she looks silly, and there’s no damn excuse when you’re rich to not look good.
The difference for me is that I don’t care who on god’s green earth came walking around the corner in that Alex getup… my jaw would just drop.
Oh ya, the wedding dress is craptastic. More fallopian tubes than uterus, IMO, however
actually white wedding gowns were a sign of wealth as families could afford to have the fabric beached white.
xxNickyxx, while I do agree that white dresses are more traditional there is a meaning behind them. White is the color of purity, aka virgin. Which considering the twins, and her husband being who he is, I’m gonna say she’s not a virgin anymore.
Her choice in color was appropriate and gorgeous for her skin color and the color scheme of her wedding.
dear what are they thinking,get a 360 degree merior before steping out.even howlowen is not that scaring.
OMG!!! I seriously think elen needs to have got a full length mirror for Xmas!! I usually love what alex wears but that blue thingy god only knows. Im sorry i hated the gold wedding dress. i think white is more traditional for weddings. She was really upstaged in ok! magazine the nest week by Mrs Gerrard’s dress. That was sensational i loved it…just not the price
I’d say her wedding dress was the best WAG outfit of the year. DEFFO!!
I completely agree on Elen and Elen’s outift taking the top spot. That outfit must have a mind of its own. I like to think that it tackled Elen and forced itself on her.
That said, I really do think Alex’s camel-toe, abalone frill monstrosity deserves a ranking, just for the sheer irony that she was an official fashion judge that day.
Just goes to show that too much money can’t be good for anyone!
Thank for the heads-up Sarah. What is most distrubing is that they both look good.. Lamps looking all classic in the black overcoat (speaking of which, GOD, I MISS JOSE!) and Elen looking stylish in basic black and white. I am never ok with them looking good!
I just can’t help it, but so many of Elens outfits makes me want to cry. I mean for God’s sake woman, you have all the money you can dream of and you leave the house wearing…THAT!?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER!?!
No competition ELEN takes the prize she is 100% wearing the worst outfit!!
Did Anyone See That Picture Of Elen And Frank In One fo The Papers Today?
Frank Was Like Bein Dragged Around While She Was Shopping, She Still Couldnt Buy Anything Decent!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL OF YOU
SPEAK SOON
Aah, what a great Christmas gift, Kickette.
It’s wonderful to see so much disaster in one post.
Now all I’ve got to do is choose my outfit for Christmas Eve – keeping the disasters in mind.
I Kind Of Agree With You xlxcx The Dress was no Where Near As Bad As Anything That Elen Has Worn, And Toni Usualy Looks Great So I Suppose We Can Let Her Off.
I Think Coleen Has Good Fashion Sense But The Hair Was Just A Tad Too Big
Elen, Elen, Elen.. I Could Be Here All Day, Wht Frank Sees In You I Just Dont Know, How You Got To Be A Model I Will Never Kno Either. All Us Girls That Are Leaving Comments Could Put Together 100’s Of Outfits Better Than Yours And We Dont Have Half The Amount of Money You Do.
Sort It Out Love!
Any of that hillbilly crap Alex Curran tried to pull. Eww.
That uterus quote? Yeah. That was me. Lol. *FEELS PROUD*
Jesus christ, I still can’t get over Elen’s outfit. It’s like my worst nightmare come true.
I dont agree…let
A truly perfect list of failures…, what makes it better is that each of them could have had 15 other outfits on the list (well, accept for Toni, who normally looks fantastic)
Alex there is no hope for in my eyes, she likes being a walking barbie doll.. Colleen, not big on her sense of style or her incesent need share it with the world. Toni, normally she brings it well, but god that dress was tactastic. Well done sweetie, it was your day and your made it unforgettable. Vic, well Karl Lagerfeld is not really the fashion god..he is not Chanel
I stand by what I said when Elen’s—umm, outfit is it?—come out. Honey, honey, honey…This is a simple fashion rule for you: When you look at yourself in the mirror and thenk “God I look good” immedantly go to your closet and change until you think you look, plain, boring, unfashionable, whatever…I promise you that you will look better. Learn it, know it, live it.
Here is to another year of bitchy fun and fashion fiascos on Kickette
Bravo! Those are all giggle-worthy fashion DISASTERS! The frilly top that Alex wore to the races would have been ok on someone that didn’t have soccer ball boobs but the camel toe on those shorts is unforgiveable. You KNOW the woman owns several full length mirrors so why didn’t she do a nether parts check before heading out?
This time of year, I’m all about the Charity and the Forgiveness and The Redemption, so I’m going to offer one positive thing about each WAG’s fashion choice:
1. VB’s shoes are fab. Easy-peasy. No problemo.
2. Coleen’s ensemble, from the neck down, is really cute. I would definitely wear that outfit.
3. It’s getting harder, but I am sure I can still do it . . . Okay, here it is. The bodice of Toni’s gown is actually quite lovely.
4. F**k me, this is tough. Okay <gets a grip and knuckles down . . . concentrates> . . . I think the sunglasses are sort of alright, I guess.
5. . . . . <silence> . . . <brain strain> . . . <really trying hard here> . . . . . . . . <gives up> JESUS CHRIST, I JUST CAN’T DO IT. THERE IS NO ONE IOTA OF HOPE HERE. NOT ONE. It’s official, Elen Rives *is* the Antichrist.
Pau.. I completely understand what you are saying. I am with you here on a quest to find out why Frank likes her. Because i have no idea. This whole list could have been filled with her fashion disasters – the sparkly jeans to mention just one. That outfit is disgusting! You would think with all the money Frank earns the least she can to is to buy some decent clothes. That woman makes me angry! How the hell did she get Frank? I wish i knew…
Oh my. I had somehow missed the catastrophe that was the blue…wtf *was* that…thing Alex was wearing. Sad, just sad. I admit to loving quite alot of what Alex wears…yes it’s true, even the beige ruffly thingie in the top photo- it’s theatre, people! Go with it! But Elen’s Heidi-On-The-Farm-In-Heels look? LOLOLOLOLOL How in the world did this happen? And I hadn’t even noticed the shoes, but it’s only one of them that’s unbuckled, too. Class. It’s all just so perfectly wrong. It’s inexplicable. I also have to admit that I didn’t mind Toni’s dress so much. It matched John’s suit- which I really liked, too. (I think he has a thing for beige and brown.) I think it all probably looked much better in person, but my invitation must have gotten lost in the post. What I didn’t like, and what still troubles me to this day, was Frank’s horrible pink tie. But then I suppose there was no one there to help him get dressed but Elen and we know the dangers inherent there. In revisiting the wedding pics, I found that my favourite is still this one-
http://www.kickette.com/images/uploads/johnterrywedding5.jpg
No matter was has or hasn’t happened on their way to that point, there’s something real between them and I think it really shows in that pic. I feel kind of like I’m intruding on something private when I look at it.
i swear to god elen rives gets dressed in the dark every day
I might be the only one who thinks this, but Toni’s dress is gorgeous. It suited her and masked the fact that she hasn’t quite got her pre-pregnancy figure back. Had she picked an A-line or even something looser, you could have seen her waist was still quite wide. This dress with the corset top and the ruffles completely masks her waist. I love it.
The only item that saves Posh from utter humiliation is her YSL Tributes!
Once again, Elen is the fashion disaster that drags down my Frank!
Elen, Elen… Could you at least wash the socks before wearing them?? I swear there’s some dirt on the ankle area. Take a good look and you’ll see
It reminds me of those socks that usually grandmas wear: they supose to be up to the knees but you can see how they fall to the ankles
i think this goes without saying but did anyone notice that she even has her mary janes unbuckled? i have to agree with this post on the worst but i think vicki could have gotten a higher spot on the list for forgetting her pants!
You could probably have filled the whole top 5 with Elen’s fashion disasters. It’s not often Coleen will be feature in these sort of lists. I like Toni’s dress.. which is crazy I know.. I’m not over keen on thebottom half of the dress but I love the top half. And she didlook gorgeous.
I suppose a disaster to some is fashion to others… everyone has their own style, so you can’t knock it.