August 24th, 2010

Transfer Totty: Yoann Gourcuff To Lyon

Image via Bellazon

We don’t often cover transfer news at Kickette; our interest in football tending to be rather more er… flesh-centric. But we’re always prepared to make an exception when exceptional beauty and/or girlcrushing is involved.

Therefore we are pleased to report that everyone’s favourite Lash-meister Yoann Gourcuff has agreed a transfer deal that will take him from Bordeaux to Lyon in the French Ligue One. He will be undergoing a medical later this week.

While we’re thrilled to bits for all you Lyon ladies (and gents) out there, we must confess we have been making pacts with various evil deities during recent weeks, in the hope they would see their way clear to arranging for Yoann to transfer to an EPL club. This is not because we consider the EPL to be superior to any other league, we’re simply aware that international focus on the EPL’s bigger clubs and its players is huge. More focus = more photos of Yoann like this and this = happy soldier girls and staff.

It’s your interests we have at heart, y’know!

Anyway, our plan clearly failed. Apparently, the entire Kickette staff’s firstborn children don’t hold much sway with the dark forces. Or maybe they figure we’re going to hell anyway, bearing in mind what we’ve fantasized doing to this boy.

Holy it ain’t.

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59 Responses to “Transfer Totty: Yoann Gourcuff To Lyon”

  1. LucieDeban says:

    i am going to hell…seriously- in consequence of what i´ve fantasized doing to this gorgeous breton boy…but i cannot help myself…Dear God – it´s your bad because you created HIM sooo irresistible :)

  2. Amanda says:

    Is it entirely strange to say that I hold out the entirely irrational hope of him coming to DC United just so he's in my hometown and I can stalk him mercilessly COUGH I mean win over his affections with my tenuous grasp of the French language?

    Best of luck in Lyon, baby, I'll be pining for you from afar! Je t'aime!

  3. Sahra...* says:

    Probabaly cause we (Arsenal) stole his best friend from him :P Seriously, hima nd Chamakh were so cute together!

    At least at Lyon he'll have Toulalan and Lloris…

    But I'm not complaining! Lyon are a bigger club and are likely to do better in the CL, hence Yoann in HIGH DEFINITION on ITV, instead of on a grainy, blurry internet screen. Yay! :D

    (Still wish he'd come to the Emirates, though. Then he'd have to learn ENGLISH! <3)

  4. sounderslove says:

    for a guy that keeps to himself as much as he does, Yoann is quite the exhibitionist.

    I have no intelligent comment to make on the transfer, because I honestly don’t follow Ligue Un closely enough.

  5. Piquette says:

    I’ve been interested in Lyon since the talented Bosnian Miralem Pjanic plays there but now I have a reason not to miss any Lyon game EVER.

    Thank you God for making me a lady and thank you for the perfection known as Yoann!

  6. ASM says:

    this might sound a bit childish,but i'm curious to know what number is he going to wear since 8 belong to pjanic..update,anyone? ;)

  7. Nagamura says:

    NOOO!!! Fox Soccer Plus only televises a few Ligue 1 games. Anyone know of any good sites that stream Lyon games? I can't live in a world without those thighs… can't live, can't live anymore

  8. Alone Albuquerque says:

    Oh my God !! He is beautiful !! Perfect !!Wonderful !! Sexy and GOD willing a day case with he. I love France and Brazil !!!!

  9. Annisa says:

    I'm not even a Bordeaux' citizen or FCGB biggest fan, but, I dont know, this transfer makes me sad :( Thank you, Yoann, for all your contributions to Bordeaux. All the goals, the assist, the beautiful free kicks, the shirtless, everything, thank you. I hope you'll do great at Lyon. It's your decision & I'm going to respect that. Congratulations, Lyon, for having the beautiful lashes on your side *sigh* I still cant imagine you in Lyon's jersey, though.

  10. Lorihanna,Morales Torres says:

    erm .. is it just me or do i always catch photos of this guy with boxers, or eitherr really tight shorts ;)
    im so LOLING at him his so cute tho!

  11. Emme says:

    I adore Yoann for always doing his best to wear short shorts! I think he should get advance points for Finest Five for that. I only wish more ballers would follow his example (comment directed to you: Xabi Alonso). I will not be happy until short shorts are mandatory.

  12. laura_89 says:

    I`m so sad he is not going to England, I do think there are way more paparazzis there. I bet we won´t be hearing any interesting stories about Gourcuff`s private life anytime soon.

  13. lonelySTARSHINE says:

    I'm gonna miss Bordeaux.

    Darn, just when I thought him and Vujadin Savić will get to know each other, and then that somehow Savić would bring him here to Serbia – he's off to Lyon! niaaahhhhhh… seems I'll have to go to France and catch him by myself….

  14. kat says:

    thank lord..lyon and yoyo are my perfect passion..<3<3<3
    slightly off topic,but its really killed me and my ghost help to post this..

    • WagInTraining says:


    • ASM says:

      arrrghh..this is too much..first suarez's baby and now this??i cant resist my aching ovary anymore..and i'm too young to have a baby,ok!!(hell yes,i'm also dyihg to see this overldose cuteness)UGH..

  15. Amy says:

    lol, this article is amazing.

  16. Leya says:

    forgive me for (re)stating the obvious but this picture is just delicious!

    those thighs….and everything else, too, but those thighs!

    Gotta love Tuesday…

  17. Maria K says:

    yeppi yeppi yayaaaaaaaaaa we will be able to enjoy Yoann Gourcuff in the CL ;)

  18. JulieFromParis says:

    hum, crappy time for bordeaux…

  19. poprockprincess says:

    I hope he’s happy.

  20. Dahlia says:

    why? why? why? doesn’t he join Arsenal?
    Come to England at least ANY club would do Yoann! I don’t get to follow Ligue 1 is it called?

    • Thea says:

      It's such a bummer I know! We just have to hope the Lyon go far in this year's CL so we see him every other week from January! EPL's clubs are rich, so I think they will make a big offer for him in a few years!

    • Claire says:

      Arsenal don't need him, because we've got Fabregas. But he is off to Barca sooner or later… and we will need a replacement. Yoann would be ideal, but now he is Lyon-bound. :-/

      • Thea says:

        Nothing is forever! The long term contract is just the way clubs get to get a higher price for their younger stars when the richer clubs come calling!

      • Mrs Fabregas says:

        i was soo sad when i heard he is going 2 lyon, as he is going 2 sign a long-term contract with lyon…although iam more than happy that cesc stayed, iam worried that he might be off next year or so and i saw yoann as the perfect replacement (playing style, experience and most importantly LOOKS-WISE!!!)

        WHY oh WHY didnt no-one tell wenger that chamakh n yoann come in a DOUBLE PACK!!! or BUY one (yoann) nd get one FREE (chamakh)…lol

        i just looooove the bromance between these two!!!

        but at least we get 2 see him in da CL n hope that Arsenal n Lyon will be in the same group so i can watch BEAUTIFUL football (literally lol)…senor cescy n monsieur beau play in the Emirates Stadium…*dreams*

  21. C16 says:

    Well… Good luck to him. At least he'll get to play the CL.

    I have mixed feelings and I'm not even a Bordeaux fan.

    Anyways, the best to Lashes!

  22. Claire says:

    But his rumoured long-term contract worries me. Knowing Lyon, Yoann’s price is gonna increase. So my dreams about Yoann in the EPL (and especially at the Arsenal) will probably stay just as they are: dreams. I doubt some EPL club will break the bank for him. Mabye Citeh…

    • Miss Estonia says:

      Don’t want him at Arsenal, even less at City but…I would love to see him in the EPL one day so in that sense, I can totally commiserate with you on the part of the long-term contract and the price going up. And I suppose if I had to pick my poision, I’d rather pick him for Arsenal than City… a.) because I can’t hate him quite as much if he’s not playing for our cross-town rivals and b.)sky blue wouldn’t suit him as well as sexy red. (Shallow chick much? But really, it would be off-putting seeing him in that)

  23. ms. thalia says:

    oh bless the lord !! … i love the thighs, the tongue, the enTire package mmmm; its times like this that i wish i had the superpower of x-ray vision.

  24. gin_in_teacups says:

    I don’t follow football in France, so I didn’t know he wanted to transfer. It was like I heard he said he wanted to go to Lyon, and literally half an hour later the transfer was confirmed. It was both disorienting and impressive.

  25. xoWinnie says:

    i've always liked Lyon as my choice Ligue 1 team (and Paris SG, but we shall not talk about their less than stellar performances…) anyways, i didn't begin to follow Bordeaux until i learned of Yoann's existence, so this doesn't affect me much, however, i do feel for Bordeaux fans because it must suck to mlose a player like him to rivals like Lyon. and him saying he wanted to join Lyon–that's like when Cesc said he hoped to return to Barcelona "some day". UGH.

  26. Claire says:

    Mixed feelings.
    I LOVE Yoann and I will always support him, but Lyon is not exactly the club I wanted him to join. There is just something about them I don’t like. Also, I’m slightly annoyed at the way he
    handled the transfer… I feel a bit sorry for Bordeaux and their fans. I understand he wants to play in the Champions League, but this was just… weird.
    In other words – I wanted him to go abroad or stay at Bordeaux. Nevertheless, I wish him well.

  27. Jessie says:

    Let me know when he and those thighs move to the premier league or la liga because i can't watch french games here:(

  28. ASM says:

    yayyy!!best remedy for torres-loss in CL this season..wish him luck.. ;)

    • Ty says:

      million percent yes.i mean,who need torres in CL if we can have Lashes right??(trying not to sound that harsh)GAH bb,finally… :D

  29. Liselotte says:

    YEY!! Even though I don't live in Lyon I actually go there kinda often cos I've got family there… From now on I shall get myself tickets to see Yoann play whenever I'm there :D

  30. Aika says:

    Come on, Real Madrid! This is one hell of buy!

    • Thea says:


      Only Barca will do.

      • JV says:

        I concur! Hot, talented and not temperamental??? He was made for Barca!

        • maya says:

          Oh, please. Real Madrid has a lot of the good people, Iker Casillas, Pepe Reina, Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka. Yoann would be a perfect fit to that tea. He would probably become more famous and then their will be more pictures of him to drool over!

          • sheila says:

            Those thighs… he really needs to have them massaged for a while. By a forty something mother of four. With warm chocolate syrup…

          • Thea says:

            NO, No, No!!!!!!
            That team is so unbearably fashion challenged – someone as stylish and as well put together as Yoann will perish!

          • Eve says:

            Pepe reyna = Real Madrid. girl you need to get ur facts right. Pepe Reyna Plays in Liverpool. And Barça is a Much better team.. Way Much better. Yoann needs to go to Barça.. Messi and him can make the New Duo.

  31. cymraeg_ddraig says:

    They are short shorts. And I am enjoying them. They are distracting me from the point of this post.

  32. Miss Estonia says:

    Either way, he's still millions of miles away from me. :(

    I thought he was going to be staying at Bordeaux, but that's ok. At least he's not gone back to Milan which I know they wanted for a while during the winter transfer window. You can't blame him and call him out on being selfish; we want him to do well, don't we Kickette soldier girls? And if that means moving up a notch in club status then…? Well, wouldn't you do the same if this was your career in whatever field you work in?

  33. Azezah says:

    i am hurt by this transfer. cos it was so fast. no time to cope.

    • Thea says:

      I think it's more a political move – than anything. As it stands he's suspended from the French International Team and no doubt wants to get back in their ASAP.

      • Azezah says:

        what sort of political move is it? I mean if he performs well in bordeaux he’ll get into the team as well. or is it that Blanc said he wont bring any player from Bordeaux? I never heard that.

        • Thea says:

          Not at all – just that none of the players from the French World Cup Team have been hot targets for transfers this summer due to what went on in SA and as a result they have all had to deal with the fall out. Hence why I think (just thinking out aloud mind!)he may have just decided to go to Lyom because it's just a bigger club who were prepared to buy him!

          • Azezah says:

            he just didnt had to switch clubs, did he? he could have stayed and bordeaux and played better. and next year gone off to bigger clubs in EPL.

  34. zielona.marmolada says:

    Gourcuff + Toulalan + Lloris = gosh, I'm drooling.

  35. maya says:

    Mmmmm…That just made my day.

  36. Thea says:

    I think he's been out of sorts since the world cup, and that event has clearly traumatised him and may have caused the few EPL teams that had interest such as Arsenal and Manu to think twice. He needs to play CL football and obviously wanted to stay in France so Lyon is a logical move. He was wonderful at Bordeaux and I do feel for their loss – but without Blanc it was not going to be the same club for him.