October 31st, 2008
Trick or Treat, Baller Edition
Happy Halloween, Kickettes!
Since we’ve yet to decide on our costume for this evening’s festivities, we’re going to procrastinate and play our favourite Halloween-themed baller game, Trick or Treat, ‘Baller Edition.
Btw: can anyone shed some light on why every option for women is prefaced by skank? ie, slutty- football- supporter- chick, slutty- witch, slutty- cheerleader, slutty- zombie, etc?
Anyhoo, the rules of ToT, Baller Edition are simple, but strict:
Two ballers knock on your door dressed in their best costume. You have to decide which one of them gets a trick, and which one gets a treat. Who are you giving the best candy to and who gets a blast of sneezing powder? Someone has to go home with empty pockets, and it’s up to you.
There goes the doorbell! Throw on a skanky-nurse costume and click on through.
First up – Fernando Torres: an ambitious new fireman, fresh out of training. Has yards of extra hose;
vs Xabi Alonso, the confident, transatlantic pilot with a swagger that can only come from hooking up with half of the stewardesses on the last NY-London flight in.
Next, Iker Casillas, a bristling, brooding Zorro. He has a mask and dresses in black. ‘Nuff said;
vs Doctor Santa Cruz, known for his gentle bedside manner. Ready, as always, to give a full and comprehensive physical.
Francesco Totti: a swarthy cowboy kitted out in requisite leather chaps and a large lasso;
vs Sylvain Distin – an experienced police officer who isn’t afraid to use his truncheon if necessary;
(wow, this really is getting extremely cheesy and a tad playgirl catalogue, but we’ve started so we might as well finish)
Finally, Yoann Gourcuff, the gladiator. Fights lions with his bare hands and feels no need to ever wear a shirt;
vs Owen Hargreaves as a hardworking mechanic. Good with grease and not afraid to get dirty.
Who wins your Trick or Treat-Off this All Hallow’s Eve?