May 18th, 2012

UEFA Champions League Final: Big, Bulgy & Bright Red Or Blue Balls & Llama Layering?

Images: Launch Group UK.

We believe Bayern Munich is on the brink of something big and bulgy, Kickettes. In terms of history and our predictions go, the face/body talent ratio has never steered us wrong, so we probably shouldn’t lose faith in our own system now, right?

Well, according to this llama – who we’ll call Larry from here on out – at Ashdown Llama Park in East Sussex, we may be wrong in due time.

Using his own blue balls (hee!), he’s calling for the team from London Town to take the UEFA Champions League trophy tomorrow. For what it’s worth, Larry isn’t an ordinary, everyday kind of llama. No, he’s got a penchant for donning Chelsea scarves in the stable and aspires to supersede Paul the Octopus’ prediction record in the near future. So far, our newest furry friend is 1 – 0 in all future foreseeing after he correctly pre-declared the winners of the FA Cup final however many weekends ago.

To our lovely readers on this mediocre Friday, who will you be supporting on Saturday? Do you believe there’s a greater chance of you phoning Selfridges to tell them they’re ugly and their mothers dress them funny than [insert team name here] winning? Bastian Schweini Champs League UEFA tournament europeanAnd who’s reading this post on their mobile since their Munich-bound plane’s cabin doors haven’t shut yet?

Lastly – and most importantly – who do you think will be first ‘baller to take his shirt off?

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27 Responses to “UEFA Champions League Final: Big, Bulgy & Bright Red Or Blue Balls & Llama Layering?”

  1. hotels says:

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  2. xoWinnie says:


    i had to leave for work before the second half of overtime. my dad pretty much had to use a crowbar to pry me off the coach (lol joking). but i was so happy, i almost cried at work. still on cloud nine right now. what made me especially happy about this was that all those idiots who knew nothing about the sport and yet jumped all over the Bayern bandwagon were forced to take a multitude of seats and shut their dirty mouths! ahahahahahahaaaa! YES CHELSEA!

    can't wait for the post tomorrow!

  3. Petrick says:

    a perfect prediction

  4. NinaNoir says:

    The llama's prediction skills rival those of Petr Cech!

    Epic, epic game, I haven't had heartburn this bad since the world cup final. What a thriller!

  5. Sam says:

    The Germans are gonna pull this one off……..without a doubt!Even though I don't like Spurs and the same pretty much applies to Chelsea too,I reckon the former won't even make it past the CL group stages next season so no worries.

  6. Loninha - Brasil says:

    I like Bayern Munich, but at the end the only thing that I'm importing is the fact that Mario and Fernando Torres to take off their shirts and make us happy, all you have to show under the uniform! I love Mario Gomez and his bdome Torres and of course too!

  7. Jenni says:

    Btw, have you ladies seen this? Made me chuckle.…

  8. Jenni says:

    I'm going to support Bayern, but if Chelsea win, I'll be all like, 'Oh well, at least it gets rid of Tottenham from the Champions League!' Being an Arsenal fan can be fun.

  9. Natalie says:

    I miss Paul the Octopus!! He was right on

  10. tashy says:

    On da edge don’t knw who 2 vote 4 I luv da bundesliga but I’m a die hard madridista nd since bayern beat us u can see mi dilemma hoping fernando torres scores he deserves 2 be back on top again but anyway who eva wins it. Kudos 2 them but it won’t be bad 2 see a shirtless crying gomez I’ll comfort u

  11. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Neutral as I can be, Mata is one of my fav, so him for the win, meaning Chelsea

  12. JenC says:

    Bayern Boys! Show ‘em what you got!

  13. IrishBlue says:

    That Llama looks fantastic in its Chelsea scarf :)

  14. Carolina says:

    I'd love for Nando to score in Munich!!!!

  15. Carolina says:

    I hope the match doesn't go into extra time and penalties. If so, I may pass out.

    • April says:

      I will be absolutely sick… I can take extra time if it gives my team a chance, but PK's against a German team that got through to the final on PK's? Nooooo thanks!

  16. ximena86 says:

    I'm a Barcelona/Juventus Fan… I'll not miss this match but I'm rooting for Bayern Munich this time….and of course Mario Gomez <3<3<3

  17. April says:

    Rooting for an exciting and fair match, with a hope that Chelsea wins. :)

    • Doles says:

      It should be a good match! I'm rooting for Chelsea as well! As a Chelsea supporting kickette, it will be a dream come true! The Blues boys deserve a trophy after everything they've done in road to Munich!

      • cupcakes says:

        What she said^^. Although RDiM will probably still be fired.

        At least I can console myself that if we lose (which we won't!) Mario Gomez will run round the pitch shirtless. Big cloud, small six-packy silver lining…

    • IrishBlue says:

      Oooh the time is nearly upon us!! Can't wait!!

      • April says:

        I am soooooo nervous! I cannot imagine how some of you long-time supporters feel!!!

        Regardless of the result today, I am really proud of their run through this CL season. The odds are in Bayern's favor, but stranger things and all that. Besides, I kinda like us as the underdog. :)

    • April says: