January 29th, 2008
The Sizzle Query: Ugly-Hot Ballers
After the lively discussion that started last week with the news that Wayne Rooney was crowned ugliest baller (and no, we don’t agree either), we’ve been thinking about the compelling category of sizzle known as “ugly-hot”.
Don’t act like you don’t know.
Okay, for those still acting, think of it this way – someone is ugly-hot if:
1. You’d totally hit it; 2. You’d be embarrassed if your friends found out or you had to show up at a family function with them; and 3. You’d still hit it even if your friends found out and publicly scorned you.
We’ve frequently suffered the wrath of our loyal readership by stating our attraction to Dijibril Cisse. It’s not easy standing alone on that bandwagon, but at least we have the guts to put it out there.
And to carry on with the full-disclosure policy we seem to be suddenly adopting, we also admit to having a bit of a thing for Gigsy, Sheva (although we get scared senseless by his “look at my link” crazy-eye instruction on the Chelsea site) and Didier Drogba.
Roy Keane also qualifies for this category, as he’s not pretty-boy good-looking but he sure has that ‘ugly-hot but I’m gonna put it on you’ booty vibe.
Perhaps ugly-hot is too strong a word… our picks are more non-hots that are hot. Whew, this is a level of analysis the universe may not be ready for.
In any case, rather than judge, please fill us in. Who gets your vote for the hottest ugly-hot baller?