January 29th, 2008

The Sizzle Query: Ugly-Hot Ballers

After the lively discussion that started last week with the news that Wayne Rooney was crowned ugliest baller (and no, we don’t agree either), we’ve been thinking about the compelling category of sizzle known as “ugly-hot”. 

Don’t act like you don’t know. 

image

Okay, for those still acting, think of it this way – someone is ugly-hot if:
1. You’d totally hit it;  2. You’d be embarrassed if your friends found out or you had to show up at a family function with them; and 3. You’d still hit it even if your friends found out and publicly scorned you.

imageWe’ve frequently suffered the wrath of our loyal readership by stating our attraction to Dijibril Cisse. It’s not easy standing alone on that bandwagon, but at least we have the guts to put it out there. 

And to carry on with the full-disclosure policy we seem to be suddenly adopting, we also admit to having a bit of a thing for Gigsy, Sheva (although we get scared senseless by his “look at my link” crazy-eye instruction on the Chelsea site) and Didier Drogba. 

Roy Keane also qualifies for this category, as he’s not pretty-boy good-looking but he sure has that ‘ugly-hot but I’m gonna put it on you’ booty vibe.

Perhaps ugly-hot is too strong a word… our picks are more non-hots that are hot.  Whew, this is a level of analysis the universe may not be ready for.

In any case, rather than judge, please fill us in. Who gets your vote for the hottest ugly-hot baller?

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84 Responses to “The Sizzle Query: Ugly-Hot Ballers”

  1. Thanks for the post, really very informative post for all the readers.

  2. chelsey says:

    Ryan Giggs is very hott!!! When he was younger- he had sexy curly hair- and had that playgirl thing going on. Hes still cute and sweet now- love his smile! If you remember he was all the girls talked about in the 90s.

  3. ashley says:

    I think Cisse and Drogba arent ugly, there well hot! wink

  4. lleesylou says:

    love this discussion its fantastic to see everyone on the planets not obsessed with pretty boys!
    My favourite ugly/hot men have to be:

    1. Joe Hart (its the thighs!!)

    2. Phillippe Senderos (yes i agree its the puzzled expression)

    3. Roy Keane (i can justify it now hes left utd)

  5. Laura says:

    OMG…I personally think that the best looking footballer at the moment is Roma’s Mexes!!! He is amazingly good looking and a great footballer!:-)
    He is the full package!!! FORZA MEXES!

  6. Jo M says:

    *splutters*

    What in the hell are the names Roy Keane and Ryan Giggs doing anywhere near the word ugly?!!?

    They’re such…..MEN! Stubbly, dirty, strong, rough MEN!!

    Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a pretty boy (a l

  7. stevie's-wag-to says:

    I think i’ll stick with stevie..uhm..yeah..
    that was—my gosh he looks so scarry
    his eyes look murderous
    =@

  8. Rusty says:

    stevie’s-wag-to-be (you can have him), you have to go to Sheva’s personal page on the Chelsea site. Each Chelsea player has a “favorite” page on the site. I can’t remember whether it’s Sheva’s link itself, or his instructions to click on the link, but I do remember its being creepy.

    It’s 3:25 or so here. Yuck.

  9. stevie's-wag-to says:

    could someone please show me the oh-so-freakish link to my whatever about sheva?

  10. stevie's-wag-to says:

    this has got to be the most hilariously entertaining discussion i’ve ever read!

    also- would like to add that stevie does not belong here..
    would like to defend some others too, like sheva, but may spend hours writing.. and have an exam to study for[poor me]
    must also give loads of kudos to kickette
    bestest site ever! =D

    oh and on-discussion:
    Vida wins it for me!-
    also would someone kindly point me in the direction of some vida pics that do not make him look like a deranged vamps and which makes him look more like the serbian i like!? some of them are severely unflattering..

    p.s sergio ramos does not belong here
    and senderos is just ugly ugly, i mean i can even see burba in this list and not him[berbie its the eyes! but the hair is such a failure]

    oh well, im off
    keep this discussion live though, its very entertaining and much better than chem

  11. Erinti says:

    In re Sagna

  12. Sarah says:

    Drogba is U-G-L-Y.  No ugly-hot.  Just ugly.  Sheva, on the other hand, is adorable.  Or at least he was before he was a blue.  Sheva and Kaka together…I miss those days. :*(

    I also find Keano attractive.  I don’t like to admit it, but I do.  My reasoning is that it’s okay because he’s not at Man U anymore.

  13. bird says:

    Ok, I’ve seen this post and I had to comment. Here’s my ugly-hot list:
    1. Rio Ferdinand (I find him HOT, but everyone else think he’s ugly, so he must be placed on this list)
    2. Lee Bowyer
    3. Stuart Pearce
    4. Bacary Sagna
    5. Jonathan Woodgate

  14. Jennifer says:

    i think steven gerrard is my ugly hot baller.. i mean.. loads of people seems to think he os fugly.. i just think he is plain hott and attractive.. there is just something about his smile thats makes me sigh.. hahahahah

  15. Yosie says:

    Vida is nothing to be ashamed about boy is FIT

    I think sheva in his younger days was absolutely GORGEOUS and in person he is still veryyyyyyyyyy fun to look at …but that link video did creep me out for the rest of my life.

    I think Giggs is hot not ugly-hot just..hot.

  16. joyce says:

    i think john obi mikel is SOOO hot! but most people disagree

  17. Elise says:

    tammyv- in no position in which I can put my jaw does there appear a big dent in the side of my face and neither is there one in John’s now.  While you’re right that I’ll always want to defend (hehe) JT, I’m not delusional about him either. I do tend to be a bit cynical, but not *this* cynical.  (And I do think our level of ‘adoration’ may have been something different in the first place.)  TFO said on here one day that she didn’t feel like things were okay unless she’d been offended at least twice every time she visited the site.  I guess I’m going to have to seriously adopt that attitude and just move on when someone calls my darling a wanker.  You’ll believe what you believe and I’ll do the same. Peace.

  18. Elise says:

    Joyce, I’ll go with you on the Mikel thing.  I think he’s super cute.  LOL- my passcode word is ‘men’.  How appropriate!

  19. Emma says:

    Crouchie is the hottest player ever!!!

    Anyway, I would probably say Robbie Keane, Michael Carrick, Juliano Beletti, and maybe Ballack.

    Oh yeah, and Robben. We musn’t forget Robben.

    Maybe Sergio Ramos, too?

    And Florent Malouda still does it for me.

    Bah.

  20. tammyv says:

    Elise,

    I know that it is hard to believe, but it is true. The JT cheek injury/surgery was complete BS.  I have no doubt that he was hit by Dempsey, but the extent and aftermath of the injury were clearly fabricated to gain sympathy. 

    The evidence clearly shows that it was not a real injury.  Looking at your picture, the dent looks no different the when I open my mouth wide.  It is the jaw joint moving into a new position.  The rest of it I find totally suspect.  He gets injured on a Sat, has facial reconstruction surgery on Sun, is training in a mask on Tues. 

    On Tuesday, three days after the injury and two after surgery, JT trains in his clear mask covering his face yet shows no bruising, no swelling, no redness, no signs of trama at all.  There are no bandages, no padding to cushion the mask over the wound, nothing covering the incision site to prevent infection, in fact there is NO incision site at all. Where on his face did the surgery happen? 

    When I hit my leg against the table, I am bruised for a week. When I had stitches under my chin, they were there for 10 days.  When I had my wisdom teeth taken out my face, swelled up like a balloon for days.  He has no visible signs of trauma of any kind, after reconstructive facial surgery.  Additionally, he had no effects of the anesthesia?

    Look at the photos and tell me where the surgery happened. These are from Tuesday, two days after surgery:

    From the Front Side:  http://www.jamd.com/image/g/77159309

    From the Right Side: http://www.jamd.com/image/g/77159392

    From the Left Side:  http://www.jamd.com/image/g/77159290

    Where is the injury or the surgery?  Where did the Turncoat Terry stories go?  They were replaced with “England’s brave John Terry will do anything to play for England/Chelsea.“ 

    That is how I see it…or not see it as the injury maybe.

    I love you Elise and understand you wanting to protect your boys.. I adored JT until this

  21. Erinti says:

    I’d say Didier Drogba isn’t so much ugly-hot as simply an otherwise handsome man in dire need of good hair advice. But in any case, some of my “why on *earth* do I find this guy so fetching? oh, right, he’s got skills/he’s got personality/I’m insane” list:

    * Emmanuel Adebayor
    * R

  22. Nic says:

    Totally agree on Berbatov!! Oh and Steven Gerrard. totally not my typical hot- but i’m attracted to him anyway. Oh and I do find Torres attractive, but in my book he cant even remotely hold a candle to Mexes. hell, in comparison Torres doesn’t even have a flicker.

  23. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Harry Kewell can not be considered ugly-hot that man is just plain damn gorgeous!!

  24. louisquatorze says:

    Philippe Senderos. He frequently shows up on ugliest-footballer lists, he photographs terribly, he has no hair (and then when I saw a picture of him with hair, it was truly dreadful), and he can’t even point to dazzling skills as a balance, but I love him and his wrinkled forehead of dismay. No, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he reads books. And that his sad faces are adorable.

  25. kat says:

    DROGBA IS NOT UGLY!!!! rio and anton ferdinand take the crown.

  26. Katie says:

    TFO – the thing is,he was signing everything other people gave him to sign which were mainly sunderland promo leaflets,i think i was the only one with the famous book there and he was really trying to avoid signig it!seeing how hard i tried to get his signature one steward took the book from me and put it in front of his nose and he was still like he didn’t see it!at one point I thought it had something to do with stuff he wrote about Niall Quinn in the book,as he works for him now,i really don’t know,except for that he was really nice with the fans,posing for pix etc.

  27. Meriam says:

    YES YES – mark hughes is hot
    and vidic :D

    others i would add are: (here goes)
    – alan pardew—> Charlton manager (he’s got something about him)
    - darren fletcher (he looks kinda cute when he’s all confused)
    – and a really weird one, but Georgios Samaras is definately ugly-hot. If all you ever saw of him was his hair then he’d be the hottest man alive.

    Oh, and for awful referee crushes – this one has got to be the worst.
    Does anyone remember Pierluigi Collina? I know he looks like and axe murderer but there was always something very hot about his evil-ness and accurate-ness and the fact that he was so not hot-hot-hot. And I know he’s bald. I know. But I still liked him.

    I’m going to go hide my face in shame now…

  28. The Fourth Official says:

    Katie, Roy has said that he really dislikes the autograph thing, especially if he is trying to work or is out with his family.  I’m sorry he was grumpy with you, but I’m glad you finally got his autograph.  I’m seriously jealous.

  29. Haishin says:

    Are you CRAZY? Dude, Sheva’s like, the hottest guy out there.

  30. Keen says:

    Ugly Hot and not mentioned here has got to be Berbatov.  So smooth on the ball, those eyes soooo blue.  That hair so greasy.  He is the epitome of ugly hot!!!

  31. J says:

    i have a thing for harry kewell.. not sure if he fits into “ugly hot” tho.. im not even sure wat it means… but yeah.. kewell is hott

  32. Katie says:

    Hi, I just wanted to say that Keano is absolutely gorgeous. I went to Sunderland training when they were in Cork this summer and managed to get a pic with him and his autograph.At first he didn’t want to sign his autobiography for me but then after I almost begged he did sign it.Strange behaviour from him,i don’t know why he was like that.But I love him anyway:)))

  33. michelle TN says:

    DROGBA DROGBA DROGBA!—mostly b/c he gives off this supercoool vibe that i’m totally feelin’.  As for all you who love Mexes, um NOOOO.  I saw him play a few times in the champions league and, i’m sorry, i just have to call him the unsexy Torres.  The headbands, the longish hair . . . Mexes, Torres, they sort of sound the same, you know.  I’m just not into Mexes.

  34. ches says:

    I reckon Gary Neville and Sheva are hot. And yea, Vida is NOTHING to be ashamed about. The man is gorgeous in my opinion. I’m also rather partial to JT.

  35. Lena says:

    All of the above are in no way ugly or even ugly-hot. I think they are all plenty sexy in their own ways. Roy Keane has gotten really handsome with age. And I agree that Roo is by no means the ugliest baller. First off, he has sparkly eyes and is impishly cute in a weird way. Second, so long as Franck Ribery is playing, he’s the #1 ugly footballer. Love to Kickette for America! -Lena

  36. lyla22 says:

    roy is hot, hot, hot!!!

  37. Sarah x says:

    Well Drogba’s Got The Best 6 Pack Eveerr! But His Face Aint Nowhere Near Hot, So. I Dunno Really <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

  38. tammyv says:

    OH Gigi, now we share a shameful secret.. the G’Nev love. <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  39. Robin says:

    Mrs. Xabi – Gary Speed is TOTALLY gorgeous! I definitely get your Speed vibe too.
    None of these men is unattractive (well except for Drogba) but they’re also not ‘pretty’ (except for Sheva he is puuuuuuurty)in the conventional sense of the word. What they do have in abundance is good old fashioned testosterone. They’re the Clark Gables of football.

  40. Gigi says:

    Kickette, please explain how Mr. Keane fits in with this lot, as in my humble opinion, he is so much better looking than any of them?

    Mrs. Redknapp, I must agree that Vidic has that special something, as do most of my Red Devils, including Gary Neville.  Yes, I said Gary Neville.  And no, I am not blind or insane.

    As for the “Special One,“ he growled at my girlfriend and I one night whilst the boys were in LA, and let me tell you, he is far hotter than most of the Super Blues, Lamps and Terry aside.

    Nic, I too am furious about the FA draw, seeing that Chelsea got Huddersfield!?!?  WTF????

    One last thing, my all time cutest, hottest baller is Gaby Heinze, as I am a sucker for Argies with green eyes.

  41. kaya says:

    Does this mean that you’re ashamed of liking men who act and dress like men? I think you have your lists reversed, Kickette! These are not the guys I’d be ashamed of telling my friends about…
    I’m not really into Giggs or Keane, but I’d much prefer them over a Crissy Ronaldo or Kasper, thanks.
    Thanks for the vid link, TFO. I’d seen Vidic before and thought him aight… but wow, I guess it’s the accent =) Very nice.
    Btw, Cisse’s dropped the blonde coiffe. He seems to have some still going on with the facial hair, though. I do wish that boy would stop handicapping himself.

  42. Cate says:

    (although we get scared senseless by his "look at my link" crazy-eye instruction on the Chelsea site)

    I’M SO GLAD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE TO SEE THAT!!! And to react that way! I died laughing! It’s mean, though, he was in the middle of training and didn’t speak any English at the time. And they won’t even put up a better one of him, they’re such assholes, they hate him so much.

    My ugly-hot is Steven Gerrard. See, since y’all think he’s ugly, and I think he’s hot.

    I suppose my true ugly-hot is Craig Bellamy. I think he is so hot. For real.

  43. freddiegirl says:

    I agree with whoever said that Sheva translates better in person.  I got to see him at the Chelsea/Galaxy exhibition match last year and found him far hotter than Becks…sorry Becks-lovers.  Sheva isn’t ugly-hot; he’s just hot!

    I find myself strangely attracted to Vidic despite the fact that he plays for ManU….

    Cisse…the wife-bashing just kills that for me.  Any cute he had was wiped right off of him when I read that. 

    Don’t know if I agree here; none of these men are ugly.  But if I had to go with ugly-hot I think I still stick with Alan Smith…although he might belong in the Keane/dirty boy category than ugly-hot.

  44. Nic says:

    tammyv—i think you put it perfectly!! none of these men are unattractive—so they aren’t ‘pretty’ and don’t carry around the man bag like c.ron… that doesn’t make them ugly-ugly. Besides, I’ve ALWAYS had a thing for Sheva- back to his AC Milan days. And I think I’d do Drogba just based on his name—its just too much fun to say- ‘Didier Drogba’!! Basically, I’m hard pressed to find a footballer I wouldn’t do. Except perhaps Crouch. That’s just really not going to work. Shame shame for Rooney being first on that list

  45. Gretchen Weiners says:

    Nah O’Shea’s got a girlfriend. I think she just chooses to stay out of it all – smart girl!

  46. Elise says:

    Wow.  Of all the days to be away from my computer!  It’s taken me ages to catch up here.  I had to laugh at the idea that some of the men mentioned here are ‘ugly’.  Not even close.  Well, except Cisse and Barton.  Sorry.  Okay here’s my list (I’m leaving out the ones like Mark Hughes, Jose, etc. who are just plain hot.):

    Lawrie Sanchez (former Fulham manager)- I’d even let him take the glasses off.  I dreamed about him 3 nights in a row just before he was sacked.  I woke up exhausted each morning.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/tongue_wink.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue wink" style="border:0;" />

    Billy Davies (former Derby manager)- cute as a button.

    Steve Coppell (Reading manager)- I have loved that man from the moment I saw him.  I love his eyes, the sound of voice, the way he never bulls**ts an answer to an interview question…and he reminds me of Sean Bean.

    Juliano Belletti (Chelsea)- I’ve been crushing on him hard lately. And I think Didier is quite nice.  Sheva is cute but he’s too little. 

    I imagine I’ll come up with some more.  And TFO- I think you should just admit to all the potentially embarassing ones on your list.  Just release it, girl!!!  I’ll tell you one more of mine, if you do.  It’s a bit embarassing.

    Now…tammyv- I like you, so I’ll refrain from opening up the can of verbal woop-ass on you that you fully deserve for your slanderous JT comments. (this is meant in the nicest possible way of course <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />)  Instead, here’s the link to a Sky Sports article with a pic of John’s clearly dented-in face where Clint Dipsh*t purposely, and with intent to cause injury, elbowed him in the face.  You can click on the pic itself to enlarge it, but you can see the dent clearly anyway.

    http://msnsport.skysports.com/experts/expert_stor…

    And while there may be many unpleasant things you can say about John Terry (though each and every one of them breaks my wee little heart), lack of true dedication is not one of them.  When Eboue broke JTs foot recently, one of the commentators said he sometimes thought it would take two broken legs to get him off the pitch.  Back when he suffered the broken cheekbone, I found myself wishing he *would* just sit down for a while and really give his body time to heal.  But that’s not who he is.  He’s said many times that he knows this career is a short one and he doesn’t want to have any regrets when its over, so he wants to play in as many games as he can, even if it means he’ll be crippled later.  I remember the first time I ever saw him play, making clearances,etc. that many would have not even attempted, there was a moment when I thought to myself ‘What must it be like to be *that* committed to something?  To have what you do, matter that much to you?‘  I still think that way.  When I’m struggling with work, with trying to figure out just who the hell I am and what I want to do with my life, JT and that moment are always there in my mind, because I know I don’t want to accept anything less than that.  I suppose his dedication is now like some kind of measuring stick for me.  And I have seriously gotten carried away…….and will now be stepping down from the soapbox….your regularly scheduled BHE (Baller Hotness Evaluation) may now resume….

  47. The Fourth Official says:

    I share the Sheasy love, Gretchen.  No slap required.  Dimples, long eye lashes, adorable accent.  Nothing to be ashamed of there.  Though, I heard that John plays for the other team – which may or may not raise his sizzle factor, depending.

  48. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    OK I cant believe I am going to admit this, ive never told anyone at all (but after TFO addmitting to fancing a ref!!! Mine doesnt seem so bad) I maybe quite fancy Gary Speed a little bit red face

  49. carly says:

    I had a dream about Drogba once – Oh Gawd! I’ll never forget that!  tongue laugh

    I don’t think Vidic is ugly-hot, he’s sexy-hot! smile

    The Fourth Official’s secret crushes are killing me wink

  50. Tammyv says:

    Kickette – Luv, I have to disagree with you.  Sheva is one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen in person.  He is almost flawless with sea blue eyes, perfect sholders and arms, great smile. I never understood the Sheva love until I saw him in person.  His pretty does not come through on in or photos. 

    AS for ugly hot,.Keano is not ugly-hott/He is man-dirty-hott,I refur to my previous comments on the dirty, shamful desires: My lust for Keano is based solely on a the dirty, angery, hate, sex model.  It is wrong, dirty but ahhh

  51. Pau says:

    Sheva is not HOT?  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/longface.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="long face" style="border:0;" /> (OMG Cherry I HATE YOU! jaja just kidding, I envy you) jajaja love Cheryl bites comment, by the way. Mi denial level is so high that I actually though he is hot! are you telling me he is not? I REFUSE! So kickette,this is sort of a finest-ugly five? jaja ja
    Gigi: leave Lamps out of this!!!  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/shade_smirk.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="cool smirk" style="border:0;" />

    And, I have to say I am a pro in this things, you know having unexplaining crushes on ballers, but SORRY! I think the reason is that! becausea they are ballers! I think thats theres whole sex appeal. I mean, if they werent ballers, if you meet them in a pub or just in the street, would you still think they are hot?
    My unexplaining current crush? well, he is from Argentina, he plays here in Mexico, in the best club (PUMAS DE LA UNAM!), RUBENS SAMBUEZA! there it goes, I say it… I LOVE RUBENS!(you don

  52. The Fourth Official says:

    Kickette, I LOVE THIS TOPIC!

    Keano -  I have proclaimed my love for him many times, as you all know.  Sadly, the scandal-rich ‘90s are behind him.  He is married (to a very nice, very ordinary, publicity-shy WAG – imagine one of those!?), and has five beautiful children.  So, Cheryl bites, I believe he wiles away those winter nights in Sunderland doing crazy-ass stuff like car-pooling and attending parent-teacher interviews.  This is instead of what he *should* be doing, which is having continuous hot sex with me.  But I deal. 

    Vidic -  so glad I’m not alone on this one.  Need convincing?  Watch this video and tell me you don’t feel the love. A killer defender with a hot body, a sweet smile and a twinkle in his eyes.  Drooool. 

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrMnw8EwDMk

    There are so many others, some of which are truly too shameful to admit.  Referee Howard Webb (I know, it’s sick.) Lawrie Sanchez, but he has to wear his glasses the whole time.  The Neville brothers, but only together, not singly. The list goes on.

  53. Nic says:

    I have another mention of a hot-hot player, Philippe Mexes!! Plays for Roma… I know we loyal Kickette-ers like to focus on our English squads, but dear god, when I see Mexes I want to immediately jump on a plane and head straight to the Eternal City. Is there any chance anyone else shares my excessive infatuation?? Or at least appreciates?? You might if you YouTube ‘Sexy Mexes’ and watch that.

    Also, am I the only one furious about the Man U/Arsenal draw? I mean really, its such a disappointment one of these teams is going to have to exit so soon :( NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

  54. Gretchen Weiners says:

    Oh I’ve thought of another. I think John O’Shea is cute as a button. Someone slap me!

  55. cheryl bites says:

    I know he's a wife basher… but his body is hot hot hot, and he has great tats.

    O_o Um, MJR… priorities, please.

    Oh, come on, mods, none of this lot is ugly. You just don’t want to admit you fancy Didi. :p And 10,000 fangirls will kill you for insulting Sheva. <small>(One of whom may be Kaka, but we cannot confirm this.)</small>

    Incidentally, I am intrigued to hear that Roy Keane possesses a “booty vibe”. So that’s how he whiles away those long winter nights in Sunderland.

  56. LoveLamps says:

    Keane – HOT HOT HOT and I’m not just saying that because I’m into older men this week.  He rocks my world!

    As for the rest, Sheva and Giggs get my vote.  I cannot get into Drogba – love him b/c I’m a Chelsea fan for life, but don’t want to LOVE him.

  57. Alicia says:

    Vida is NOTHING to be ashamed about. The boy has eyelashes 10 miles long. You can’t be ugly when you have super long eyelashes. (OMG, and his eyes are so BLUE! How is it possible to be so blue?!?!?!)

    Sheva’s “check out my link” is the highlight of my morning. Sooooo creeptastic!

    P.S. This isn’t related to ugly-hot, but you know who’s hot-hot who’s not been mentioned? Laurent Robert. Mmmm.

  58. Gretchen Weiners says:

    I am indeed embarrassed by this, but my ugly-hot is Paul Scholes. I guess I have a thing for gingers.

    And I agree with Johnna, Giggs and Keano are both gorgeous!

  59. Johnna says:

    MrsJamie, you don’t have to be ashamed for liking Vida. He’s very much hot.

  60. Johnna says:

    Giggsy and Keano are gorgeous and in no way ugly-hot!!!!

  61. Cherry says:

    It’s a toss up between Sheva and Giggs. Sheva most likely has the edge cause I’ve seen him naked.

  62. MrsJamieRedknapp says:

    I’m with you on the whole Cisse thing.  I know he’s a wife basher and inclined to throw a hissy fit when he gets the hump, but his body is hot hot hot, and he has great tats.

    John Arne Riise is hot for a ginger ninja, and *blushes* I think Nemanja Vidic is hot (Sorry Misty I can’t help it)

  63. Neener says:

    Peter Crouch is actually quite hot. Not joking.

  64. lose that girl says:

    LOVE this thread.
    Now I don’t feel embarrassed to admit that I, too, have a thing for Gary Neville. Can’t help it.

    Vidic, O’Shea and Keane – ABSOLUTELY! No brainer there.
    And the Special One – whoo hoo!

    It’s good to be among those who understand! <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  65. The Fourth Official says:

    Another manager-crush admission:  Mark Hughes.  Hell no, you say?  Hell, yeah, I say.  He was a gen-U-ine hottie back in the day.  They didn’t call him “Sparky” and the “Big Man” for nothing.  And these days, it seems like he needs a little cheer-up, so look, I’m offering.  Just a “one-of” kind of thing, but it would be SO worth his while.  And before you accuse me of being willing to boff just any old United legend, let me say that I draw the line at Stevie Bruce.

  66. Belle says:

    Unfortunately, I am not the person to be asking about the men and their partners, Nic. I’m sorry. But I too have only ever heard of Mexes’ partner referred to as such, his partner. I think maybe, just maybe you’ve got a bit of hope!! haha. As for Al, I have no friggin’ clue. But YAY for someone else appreciating those boys. Roma is a hot squad. Oh…and Cassetti!! I completely forgot about him! (Sorry this isn’t quite on the ugly-hot topic).

    And Rusty, I completely agree with Alan Smith. He too could be the poster-boy for the ugly-hot campaign.

  67. Rusty says:

    MrsXabi, I’m afraid not. Too thuggish.

    keyword: direct72

    Belle, the thing is, Smudge doesn’t follow Kickette’s ugly-hot qualifications for me. I WOULD hit it, but I don’t think I’d be embarrassed to show up with him at a family function because I’m American. (My family might be surprised for other reasons…) I wouldn’t be embarrassed if my friends found out either; I think they’d be impressed that I was finally getting some wink And yes, I’d still hit it if I was publicly scorned.

    To clarify Mr. Giggs, I wouldn’t be so insistent on hitting it, but I wouldn’t be embarrassed to hook up with him either.

    Lawrie Sanchez isn’t bad either, now that I think about it.

    Chelsea-Huddersfield? Yeah baby! *gets out her Chelsea shirt to wear tomorrow*

  68. Gigi says:

    Here is the “Special One” otherwise known as Jose Mourinho, the former Chelsea manager and the almost England manager, hoisting up the trophy that should have been ours, and by ours I mean UNITED!

    I too have that special kind of love for Mr. Rio.  Always have, but then again, he is a Red Devil, now and always hopefully.

  69. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Im gonna throw Joey Barton into the mix, I think he counts as ugly-hot cos although his personality and attitude stink I still so would.
    Anyone else appriciate the thugness??

  70. Malin says:

    First, I have to admit that even if I was going to pretend that I am updated, I still have no clue who “the special one” is. Please fill me in, as I’m starting to feel slightly ashamed here.

    And I soooo agree that Vidic is not a at all ugly-hot, he is sizzling hot. Gosh. There is something extremely masculine about defenders, who just throws themselves at any striker trying to break through. And it doesn’t make it worse that they do get very dirty. I like dirty. Many sorts of dirty, ahem.

    But I doubt that I have vote here, since I, beside Vidic, fancy the two most obvious pieces of eyecandy available in the PL… God I am mainstream.

  71. Rusty says:

    Yeah, Giggsy’s hot…I would. It’s the chest rug, I’m ashamed to say.

    And the Special One is definitely special.

    Sheva’s gorgeous!

    Of course, if Alan Smith counts in this category, he’s my number one…‘cept in bathrooms. I swear that man will never score again unless it’s something that can be written up in a tabloid! (says she who went home to watch the Arsenal-Newcastle match in the middle of the afternoon and is now technically in pajamas – a Toronto FC shirt and boxers…)

  72. tammyv says:

    I lost all my JT love when he fakes that broken cheekbone injury and tried to blame the Duece (Clint Dempsey) for it.  It wasall such a scam, with the phantom of the opera mask and the “surgery” and the for love of country he will over come BS.  There was never a broken cheekbone, it was all done to rebrand him back to England’s Bravce John Terry from Turncoat Terry who soldout Jose

  73. Ally says:

    Keano is gorg! And Shevchenko looks like a puppy – how on earth could you include him in this discussion? <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

    Vidic and Giggs are both hot.

    I’m a bit ashamed to admit this, but I find that every time I look at him I think Rio Ferdinand is hotter and hotter. It’s certainly not his face, but he is built beautifully – he has such slim hips and broad shoulders, and he looks amazing in a suit. I just think that he’s really hot.

  74. Laurie says:

    Drogba- SO hot. Angry and rawr and so NICE.
    I am a huge Sheva fan and am ANGERED at his placement on this list. There is no ugly to his hot- he has a pretty face, even if it looks somewhat pathetic these days!
    Giggs? Somehow, I’d rather do Scholes. O_O He and Cisse fit the ugly-hot mold for me- Cisse just has too bad a personality.
    I totally agree with above posters about Vidic. V. nice, although a face you have to get used to. My sister swears her psych TA looks exactly like Vidic and makes all the girls swoon!
    Keane? V. nice. Second-hottest manager after Mourinho and perhaps that guy who coached Watford and looked kinda like Paul Robinson.
    Ugly-hot is more Rooney. Or Messi. Or, for that matter, our unfortunate John Terry, ladies. Sorry. Real talk.

  75. Nic says:

    Yes, Belle, Yes!! Aquilani is soooo adorable! I love Panucci, too! Mexes holds my top spot though. Neither of them really has anything to do with the topic of Ugly-Hot, but whenever I’m talking about footie, I can’t seem to keep myself from mentioning at least one of them. Do we know if Aquilani has a GF? I know Mexes is with his partner, Carla. *sigh* *tear*… I’ve only ever heard of her referred to as that though—never as his wife. Could there still be hope!? lol

  76. c9 says:

    Laurie- Have to agree with you on Mr. Terry, sorry kickettes, he just seems to fit in that category.

    Ally- With you on Rio, there’s something about him, could it be the lips, the height, the way he looks in the suit?

  77. Belle says:

    I’m in COMPLETE aggreeance with you Nic on the Mexes front! It’s nice to know that someone else appreciates him. I would also like to nominate Aquilani and Vucinic to be considered in the ranks of Mexes. SO adorable.
    On to the actual topic although I do not find Cisse attractive, even in the ugly-hot sense, I believe he is the perfect face for this campaign. I believe what makes most of these ugly-hot men have the hot factor is some part of their personality. They contain some quality that just sucks you and won’t let you go (and no ladies I do not mean their mouths!)

  78. brandy says:

    Although I do get the whole “ugly-hot” thing, I will say that of those mentioned, I keep it simple by labelling them just plain ole “ugly”. Sorry Kickette. I guess we can’t agree all the time!

    I can’t dig the Cisse thing. He is too geometric and primary colored. I’m talking about his zoot suits and his hair when I say “primary colored” y’all. So don’t come at me with like I am a racist!

    I did feel the Ugly Hot Sheva vibe before he came to Chelsea and lost his mojo. Man there is nothing so unattractive as a defeated and deflated man. Oh, especially, when they are p*ssy whipped by ugly former models. Never understood who used to book that woman. Her face is beastly!

  79. Nae-xo says:

    Hahaaa Vida gets my vote all the way!!

    and i might be completely weird, but i think Ji Sung Park is adorably cute! he’s my non-hottie du jour.

    and Cech, but hes good looking and has a new bubba so no touchy for me

  80. c9 says:

    Okay so for my take on all this ugly hot stuff…

    Giggsy- I love he’s mature and sweet. His smile gets me, and the fact that he’s a great father and husband is so sexy. But no touchey for me.

    Nemanja- Man who can believe that serbians can look that good? smile  The eyes, the strong features…

  81. Nic says:

    See now, I find Sheva more attractive now that he’s across the channel. But that could be due to my partiality for Italian ballers. I can’t think of even an ugly-hot one of them, nevermind plain old ugly. So in that sense, the deck was stacked slightly against Sheva, though I still found him oh so sexy. I may have to disagree with the comments against his wife too. She’s not my favorite model/former model, but I don’t think she’s ugly either. But yes, the wife-bashing killed Cisse for me. I just can’t find anything appealing in him after that.

    And Vidic, he gets my vote—totally works for me.

    Gigi—Chelsea and Huddersfield!?!? Really, how is that even remotely fair? And Liverpool and Barnsley!? That’s not to blame either Chelsea or Liverpool- or knock Barnsley or Huddersfield- but lets please be realistic, shall we? Man U vs. Arsenal will be an amazing match, but that should be the type of match that’s played as a final, not as fourth round.. while Chelsea and Liverpool stroll right into the next round.

  82. The Fourth Official says:

    Like Nic, Tammy and Robin said, with Keano, Giggsy, Vida et al, it’s a certain confident masculinity.  They are comfortable in their skins.  No highlights, no mud pack facials.  Maybe a slap of Old Spice after the post match shower/shave.  That’s it.  One also senses a deep well of tenderness/vulnerability that is closely guarded.  You see it in Keane or Giggsy when they are with their children.  But on the pitch, they are warriors.  No flopping about, no slamming of fists on the turf in petulance (sorry, Cristiano).  Hard tackles, dangerous headers.  Doing the business.  Love that!

  83. LoveFCbarcelona says:

    OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!! How can u say Sheva is ugly-hot??????!!!! He is in no way ugly, he is sooooo H.O.TTTTT!!! His cut babyish face is adorable/smokin hot!! Same goes for Drogba, he's smokin' too, and not in an ugly-hot kind of way, in REALLY, GENUINELY HOTTTT kind of way. Roy Keane's hot too!!