December 3rd, 2010

Universal Mysteries Solved: Coleen Rooney’s Eyebrows

We can add this to our other “Universal Mysteries Solved” file-folder:

Coleen Rooney’s Eyebrow situ is the work of an eyebrow pencil, not a semi-permanent tattoo job hastily performed by a balding Hell’s Angel motorcyclist nicked-named “Bonecrusher”.


If that’s not a massive burden lifted from our shoulders, than we don’t know what is.

Image: Now Magazine

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31 Responses to “Universal Mysteries Solved: Coleen Rooney’s Eyebrows”

  1. Amandinha says:

    Cher Lloyd must be laughing at her…
    thats how awful your eyebrows look, Coleen!

  2. Tahj says:

    cool…now we know she is not that crazy…yet!

  3. LOL too funny, i love eyebrow convos! but yeah on another note…Shes got EE-SHOES!!!! i mean her hubs is not only shrek #2 but hes a douche? the nerve!

    • ashmenon says:

      I actually thought "huh what hey is there something wrong with her shoes?" and scrolled back up and was halfway back up before I realised what you meant. Well then.

  4. Rosie says:

    I used to like Colleen – back when she seemed to have more self-respect. Now, however, it just looks as though she's lost her spirit and is going through the proverbial motions, and I feel sorry for her because of it. I hate it when that happens to women. Wayne's a j*ck*ss, only uglier and not as intelligent.

  5. Zahara says:

    no likey nada :p

  6. IrishBlue says:

    Poor girl looks so tired, Wayne, your a twat.

  7. Amunt Valencia says:

    I dont mean to change the topic..but why hasnt Kickette mentioned

  8. Xtinaaa says:

    Methinks, her eyebrows add to the Rooneys weird quotient.

  9. Kate says:

    I just think she's ugly in general.

  10. Missy Manchester says:

    I have this theory…

    Eyebrows are an indicator of mental stability.

    How many times have you seen crazy people with ridiculous, hand-drawn eyebrows and thought to yourself, "That poor woman has issues."

    Joan Crawford? Katie Price? Lady GaGa? Lil Kim? Boy George? Not to mention all the lovely ladies at your local neighbourhood Tesco's/WalMart.

    I rest my case.

    • Missy Manchester says:

      Oops…I didn't mean ALL the lovely ladies at Tesco's/WalMart….I meant all the lovely ladies WITH crazy brows at Tesco's/WalMart. It seems to me those stores seem to have more than their fair share of tortured eyebrows.

  11. Rossanera says:

    There's something I just don't like about her. Like, I can't stand the sight of her. I don't know if it's because I have such little respect for her (she seems to me to be little nore than a money-hungry, social-climbing wannabe), but … I could do with never having to read anything about her again.

  12. [...] here: Universal Mysteries Solved: Coleen Rooney's Eyebrows « Kickette … Related Posts:Coleen & Kai Rooney: Mummy And Me Time « Kickette – Soccer … Wayne [...]

  13. WAG2BE says:

    I think she would look cute with Prince Harry…possibly. Poor girl put up with enough with a husband like hers, she deserves too be treated better. If only she didnt come off as soo stupid and easy to mock, i could really like her =(
    hypothetically speaking of course =P

  14. Mrs. Bale says:

    Now if only she could get rid of those old lady hair styles, she would look as young as she is.

  15. GigiSantaCruz says:

    either way, tattoo job or just eyebrow pencil, it looks simply awful!!

  16. Maribel says:

    But to me the real mystery is: What happened to her real eyebrows? Did she overpluck or shave them? I mean, WHY would anyone choose to draw in ridiculously unnatural looking brows?

  17. Caitlin says:

    Apologies if my comment sounds bitchy, but her fingers are really chubby.

  18. Says_Who says:

    Penciled in eyebrows can look natural if applied correctly. With that in mind, either she told a bold face lie to the press to save her own face or she told a bold face lie to avoid giving her favourite beauty salon and spa bad publicity. Either way, this woman is lying!

  19. blake2108 says:

    Did someone over pencil her eyes too when she met, fell in love with, married, had a child with and took back Wayne Rooney?

  20. Heavily pencilled brows should have died with Joan Crawford.

  21. BarceLisa says:

    Those brows look a bit like the Bride Of Chucky. Actually, chucky would make a better husband than Wayne at this point.

  22. oh my God! great news I was so worried about her!!

    +rolls eyes+